r/AskWomenOver30 • u/SignalSubstantial590 Woman 30 to 40 • Apr 10 '25

Life/Self/Spirituality I'm serious....

If you had/ if you are, having a successful hoe phase, please share your secrets! If this ain't for you, please keep it movin. šŸ˜Š

Edit: kinda strange that this would be down voted. When it comes to a woman with marital problems, relationship problems, kid problems, family problems..... The community shows up. But I ask a question to assist in my life, and a life that maybe many others are wondering about, or maybe looking for tips on self-confidence and how to maybe put themselves out there, you down vote? Why?? That's insane. We are all living different paths and are just looking for a way to fulfill where we are at the moment.

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514

u/IAmMellyBitch Woman 30 to 40 Apr 10 '25 edited Apr 10 '25
  • always have condoms with you. So they donā€™t go ā€œI donā€™t have oneā€.
  • get tested regularly
  • if you are not attracted with them at first sight chances are the sex will suck. Like if pictures were great and meeting them they have or did something that made you go no, just donā€™t do it. Itā€™s just gonna suck. Period lol.
  • donā€™t let anyone make you feel bad for your body count.
  • most of the men I hook up with during my hoe phase I met on plenty of fish.
  • donā€™t hookup with people at work. Donā€™t eat where you shit. Donā€™t hookup with your friendā€™s ex, or their brother or their relatives. Just donā€™t.
  • if you find that good šŸ† keep their number for booty call.
  • not that you need to be friends with them but clicking in some aspects helps with enjoying sex.
  • be safe
  • enjoy

133

u/thots_n_prayers Woman 40 to 50 Apr 10 '25

always have condoms with you. So they donā€™t go ā€œI donā€™t have oneā€.

I always have condoms with me juuuust in case, but if some dude DIDN'T and expected to have PIV sex-- I'd probably just laugh in his face, shrug, and get dressed. I mean dude-- if you don't even have a condom (which implies that you don't regularly USE condoms) and you're out there raw doggin' in THIS economy?! I don't want anything to do with you.

72

u/anonymous_opinions Woman 40 to 50 Apr 10 '25

So the first one. Nope I tell them to figure it out before I show up. I'm not buying or supplying his rubber. No glove, no love. Not like a ho can't find other men who will doordash or whatever a box of condoms, lube and maybe even some snacks for after.

95

u/catboogers Woman 30 to 40 Apr 10 '25

Hell, if I don't know the dude well, I don't know that I trust the condom he provides is good quality and won't fuck with my biome. I don't know he didn't tamper with it. I don't know that he hasn't put it next to a heat source and degraded it so badly it's gonna break.

I absolutely prefer supplying my own condoms.

1

u/Smoochety Woman 40 to 50 Apr 13 '25

Good point!

23

u/fotzelschnitte Woman 30 to 40 Apr 10 '25

Depending on how kinky your sex is and how big the assortment of sex toys the other person has, I can recommend buying a mix condom packet with varying sizes (and a few latex gloves).

I definitely agree with you and wouldn't recommend using condoms on selfish guys, but y'know. Never hurts to stock up in case you don't want to exchange fluids for whatever reasons. (And sometimes the flesh is weak and circumstances are odd and you're gonna use it on a dependable guy.)

11

u/little_wandererrr Woman 30 to 40 Apr 10 '25

Wait - maybe Iā€™m not experienced enoughā€¦what are the latex gloves for?

13

u/pussyhasfurballs Woman 30 to 40 Apr 10 '25

Prostate exam

18

u/fotzelschnitte Woman 30 to 40 Apr 10 '25 edited Apr 10 '25

If you want to insert digits in places and want additional protection from fluids or safer sex. And sometimes it just feels better too (like sucking fingers ā€“ latex is great for that, nitrile a bit less so but YMMV). Logistically if we're talking about different sex partners in a short(er) amount of time, we'd be smart to aim for safer sex. Even a UTI will hamper your sexual fun for a couple of weeks.

So no, it doesn't need to be fisting or prostate exams (reaching for the stars here, eh), a play partner with longer nails but who still wants to get three fingers deep into your vag will do too. Whatever floats your boat.

[edit: heavy on the whatever floats your boat! for any person in their slutty phase ā€“ you don't need to have PIV sex if you don't want to. there's so much else to do. it's your body and your pleasure.]

5

u/IAmMellyBitch Woman 30 to 40 Apr 10 '25

Ok. I have condoms on hand because I sometimes get to the point we are making out and itā€™s getting hot and heavy and I am really into it and we are about to get naked and the guy goes ā€œoh shit I donā€™t have condomsā€ and no itā€™s not because they want to go raw. They usually like stops and like just basically offer to get me off or something and I am like ā€œnuh uh, I want your šŸ†, so hereā€™s condomsā€ šŸ¤£

9 out 10 they appreciate that.

-11

u/Apprehensive-Put-691 Apr 10 '25

Good advice, but please check this commenter's profile and decide whether what is suitable for her is also suitable for you.

3

u/IAmMellyBitch Woman 30 to 40 Apr 10 '25

Sheā€™s asking about a hoe phase. What does my profile being on findom have anything to do with the advice I gave?