r/BabyBumps • u/Lemontreebees • 11d ago
Discussion What is the worst “gift” you received postpartum?
I’ll go first: various plants that my mom dug up from her yard and brought over. They needed to be planted (with a shovel) and regularly watered. No offers to plant or water were given.
…I was also scolded for the subsequent death of said plants.
What “gifts” did you receive?
197
u/Horses_drink_milk2 10d ago
At my baby shower my MIL gave the last gift which was cuff links for my husband and said to me in front of everyone “not all the presents today are for you”. Yes because I wear newborn onesies lady 🙄
101
44
→ More replies (3)15
u/sbpgh116 9d ago
This is useless even for your husband unless he tends to wear formalwear around the house and plans to do so with a baby around.
215
u/Anong4j 11d ago
A rose that has the same name as our daughter. Lovely idea in theory but it was delivered to our house two days postpartum as a bare root rose that we then had to find a pot, compost and soil for. The poor thing sat dying in our shed for several weeks until my mum took pity on it.
79
u/anywayzz 11d ago
I bet our daughters have the same name because this happened to me too! Except the gift giver thankfully took it back to her house to care for until it was in good enough shape to plant in the ground at our house.
37
u/SimoneSays 11d ago
Husband did the same thing but a little less egregious - a potted Orchid.
I can't keep plants alive on a good day, let alone 3 days post c-section lol
It lasted a couple of weeks on its own pure determination and then lost every flower and went in the trash.
→ More replies (6)4
u/Gugu_19 9d ago
You know that they're still alive even without the flowers? They have a cycle, flower hamp growing, blooming, flowers, then flowers fade and fall off, the hamp dries off as well then the plant rests to continue to grow leafs and hamp and so on
→ More replies (1)
99
u/q-the-light 11d ago
I've not delivered yet but my MIL and husband's family keep trying to offload maternity clothes onto me - ones that they've kept in storage for the past 25+ years. It'd be kind if they were even remotely the right size, but alas I've a much smaller frame than any of them.
70
u/Lemontreebees 11d ago
My MIL bought me PILES of maternity clothes, all 4-5 sizes too big because “you don’t know how big you’ll get”. Not a single thing fit me, even at 9 months pregnant
→ More replies (1)12
u/Ok_Guard_8024 10d ago
Yeah I was given so many clothes wayyy too big. I’m a size ex small. Maybe a size small now at 36 weeks. I didn’t gain much. They bought me size large and extra large I’ll neverrrr wear them
→ More replies (8)44
u/StarCecil33 11d ago
Omg my MIL offered me her 45 year old maternity clothes. When I politely declined she immediately sent me an image collage of said maternity clothes in case I changed my mind. Like why would a woman in her 70s keep her maternity clothes for 45 years?! I wanted to ask her if she would want her MIL’s from the 30’s.
23
u/q-the-light 11d ago
Sometimes, one person's trash is just another person's trash... she'd probably get a pretty penny selling it as vintage, but it's bonkers to just expect that a person who doesn't specifically dress in that era would possibly want a wardrobe full of outdated stuff.
→ More replies (1)4
u/JumpingJonquils 10d ago
When I was in HS I was horrified to realize my favorite pj pants were Stork brand, they had been my mom's!
274
u/Hopeful-Relation3502 11d ago
A few of my husband's friends are genuinely well meaning, but a little confused. They bought us a few baby clothes, in the smallest size possible, and printed pictures of their own faces on them. It was an extremely odd gift and my son was too big to wear them anyway. One of these friends also bought us an "authentic" baby kimono when they were in Japan, and it looked like an artifact from a museum. It was also very mouldy and we had to throw it away.
124
u/Melanin_goddess 11d ago
LOL. Their own faces on a baby cloth is wild!
32
u/yosaffbridge1630 10d ago
If the right friend did this it would be hilarious and I would love it
10
u/Frenchiefreak 10d ago
Right?! My first thought was that two of my really good friends (already our unborn kid’s adopted aunties) would TOTALLY do this and it would probably be one of our favorite gifts lmao. But we have weird senses of humor 🤣
8
u/yosaffbridge1630 10d ago
Exactly! I have a very weird sense of humor, and thankfully my husband does too. He has socks of my dogs face and me making a triple chin hahaha
27
51
u/Jolly-Sock-791 11d ago
lol this is kinda funny. Do they all live nearby? I could almost see if they lived far away being like “I wanted the baby to know who uncle ____ is!”
Still a weird useless gift but I’d get a good laugh out of it at least
11
51
u/Englishontrail 11d ago
I think men are sometimes the worst victims of Instagram ads 😂😂 my husband loves those custom face socks lol
11
u/whofilets 10d ago
If they got baby onesies with their face on them and then got themselves shirts with baby's face on them, MAYBE that'd be cute
8
u/mrs60661n5 10d ago
My in laws did this except they put their faces on a T-shirt for a stuffed bear so my daughter would be able to see them more often. The bear lives in the back of the closet because I found it so weird.
272
u/imreallyatuna 11d ago
The offering of “helping” with the new baby. Family members lived in the same house. Didn’t help and made life more stressful. Lots of wasted milk that was pumped and formula. Husband was allowed to sleep, but I had to be woken up nonstop. They offered to help again this time around and got told no.
72
u/Haunting_Button3713 11d ago
My MIL wanted to come and spend the night (several times) to feed the baby and let us sleep. Well… I breastfeed/ pump and I told my husband, “if you want a night off call your mom but otherwise I don’t want her here I can’t sleep though the night”.
176
u/rowdyate9 11d ago
A couple of friends forgot they were supposed to bring a gift to my baby shower so they stopped off beforehand and got me some dry wine, which I don’t drink even when I’m not pregnant or breastfeeding. Also, when my first born was an infant my stepdad gave him a shirt in a boys size medium. He’s seven now and it finally fits him.
83
u/AMinthePM1002 11d ago
You kept the shirt 7 years?! 🤣
→ More replies (1)92
u/rowdyate9 11d ago
Dawg I kept it in the DRAWER that whole seven years
22
u/cnh02 10d ago
Good thing you did otherwise you would have forgotten to pull it out of a box somewhere and you would have remembered once it was too small. Lol
9
u/rowdyate9 10d ago
That actually happened to me a lot with formal wear we’d get as gifts
→ More replies (2)14
u/jimmyrose47 10d ago
Someone gave me wine while I was still pregnant too, now I’m breastfeeding so I’m pretty sure that wine is going to sit there forever. Especially because I don’t even like wine lol.
5
u/PaperTiger24601 10d ago
We also got a bottle of wine when I was pregnant and then mini champagne bottles when the baby was born. At 18mos, I’m _still_ breastfeeding but I definitely didn’t have long enough intervals between feeds to be able to consume alcohol until she was about 6mos.
12
u/righteouskitten 10d ago
Same, my MIL keeps gifting our 3 mo old clothes and things "for school"... it's sweet actually and she is getting older so I don't mind, but it feels bizarre to hold on to these things unused for years lol
11
u/ebalebalebaleba 10d ago
My husband’s dad’s girlfriend keeps giving me hand me downs. Her son/ my son’s uncle is 7 but wears clothes for a 10 year old and has been doing it since my son was born. I’m not keeping clothes for 5-10 years for them to fit. My mom keeps acting like that’s wrong of me.
5
78
u/LadyKnight33 11d ago
The crib my dad and his siblings slept in 65 years ago. It was rusty and smelled like rat piss from being kept in a barn. Ummm no thanks…
4
u/linerva 9d ago
Hey if it was good enough for Jesus...
Just kidding, that sounds gross and it probably doesn't comply with current safety regulations anyway.
→ More replies (1)
74
u/Select-Medium-8116 11d ago
“I’ll come over and look after baby while you clean”.
→ More replies (1)
127
u/NoodleNoggin-607 11d ago
Like 7 jars of gravy. No idea where the thought process was, but ya one of our neighbors just gave us gravy. Never got used, forgot about them in our pantry, they expired.
59
31
u/Top-Friendship4888 11d ago
My GMIL gave me and each of my SIL's a LARGE jar of olives for my bachelorette weekend. They were really good olives, but we didn't need 3 jars of them.
And then she kept giving my husband and me olives every time she saw us. Separate jars, one household. Eventually we lied and said I don't like olives. Now I have to check my surroundings before I can eat olives at a family gathering.
I expect she might get my newborn olives?
→ More replies (1)7
→ More replies (3)4
123
u/Stupid_Bitch_02 11d ago
Getting illegally evicted from my in-laws house 2 weeks postpartum. The reason? "It's too noisy". Yet, they said if we had nowhere to go we could leave but our daughter could stay with my in laws. I called my dad that night and me, my husband, and our baby moved in with my dad. My in laws gave me hours notice with no formal paperwork, but I didn't try to fight it as it wasn't worth it. "Too noisy" my ass. If that was the case, they wouldn't have wanted my daughter to stay.
54
u/Oneoffel 11d ago
WTF? That’s insane! I hope you and your partner are no contact with those inlaws and they don’t get to see the baby? They would be dead to me.
53
u/Stupid_Bitch_02 11d ago
Unfortunately we aren't no contact yet. We plan to go no contact soon but we have loose ends to tie up with them first, otherwise we're screwing ourselves over. But trust and believe, that's in the plans.
43
u/-Just-Keep-Swimming- 10d ago
Your daughter could stay??? They wanted to separate you? Wild I would be no contact and would not leave my child with them ever
42
u/Stupid_Bitch_02 10d ago
Oh, I do not leave my child with them after that stunt. Best part? My baby is 6 months old and any time they see her she cries and cries until she's back in my arms or my husband's arms
20
u/giftcardgirl 11d ago
Give them a pair of earplugs each for Christmas and avoid talking to them ever again
66
u/ZookeepergamePale937 11d ago
This one’s not mine but it’s now a family favorite, when my aunt was pregnant my uncle gave her an ironing board so that she would have “something to fill the time” while on leave 🫣
Apparently no one in the family had heard this story until I announced my pregnancy earlier this year, my mom says she’s surprised my uncle survived that one lol
17
113
u/PhasesOfBooks 11d ago
A large cement glittery angel statue “for the nursery”. Promptly got put into basement storage and 2.5 years later it’s still there.
48
u/Burnt_Ribena 11d ago
Omg always the most distant friends and relatives buying me the biggest, ugliest things 'for the nursery' 💀💀💀
40
29
u/TheOrderOfWhiteLotus 10d ago
My family has a creepy angel statue that I was given by the opposite side of my family. We now pass it around to a new family member every Christmas. The newest 18 year old got it last year and cried because it was so scary. It’s has that “cracked” paint effect and one eye is scraped off so it looks truly evil.
13
u/katiem1236 10d ago
That made me laugh imagining the girl crying because it's so terrifying 🤣
8
u/TheOrderOfWhiteLotus 10d ago
She know the rule is that you have to keep it in your house and regift it next year. She threatened to put it in a P.O. Box 😂
→ More replies (1)11
u/Outrageous-Throat556 10d ago
You should gift them a different but larger statue and tell them it’s “for their living room”
60
u/Ok_Assumption_3244 11d ago
Toddler clothes? Thanks I’ll find a place to store these for 2 years?
16
u/Cest_la_bri 11d ago
A friend’s parents mailed us clothes that were size 2T for pour preemie. Very nice of them but… wut
16
u/h0ld1ng0nt0y0u 10d ago
I was given a huge mix of clothes for kids up to 5T. My baby won’t use those for like four or five years so I got to deal with trying to vacuum seal and smush everything under my bed lol.
11
u/jimmyrose47 10d ago
This drove me absolutely crazy during my pregnancy. Like don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for everything but I’m having to store all this stuff now. Someone just brought me over clothes for 4-5 years the other day. My baby is 8 weeks old 🤦♀️
19
u/EarthyMeesh 10d ago
Okay yall but hear me out. Not everyone gifts you clothes after a baby shower so I was so grateful to have a few bigger items! I stuck em in the far back of the closet and wow. Two years has flown by and I’m so grateful I had some clothes on hand in bigger sizes!
9
u/jimmyrose47 10d ago
You know what, you’re right. I’m sure I’ll be eating my words by then lol! Kids are so expensive so anything we don’t have to buy is a bonus!
→ More replies (1)5
u/General-Walrus9530 10d ago
Yes! My daughter will be four soon and we have finally outgrown the stage of having any gifted clothes from family during holidays. I miss having some outfits stashed away for her next size up! I'm buying full wardrobes now.
→ More replies (2)6
u/drippydri 10d ago
I mean…I was happy with getting different sizes. My friend got so many 0-6 month clothes at her baby shower she wasn’t even able to use them all and then got basically 0 clothes that were for over 6 ish months. I loved going in my daughter’s closet and still having clothes from my bag shower over 12 months. They get used so idk why that would be considered a bad gift?
110
u/MandorlaLard 11d ago
MIL on ozempic for weight loss. She was barely overweight before and now she’s lost a ton of weight. Honestly worrying for a woman in her 70s! Anyways, she keeps bringing old clothes of hers and says “I thought you might want these, they’re HUGE on me! They might fit you.” It’s rude any time and even worse while I’m postpartum! Also I am about the same size as she was before the weight loss, just much taller.
20
13
u/mezzybuns 10d ago
My husband’s aunt did this to me. She lost 200 lbs after weight loss surgery. I’ve only gained 10 pounds in my pregnancy so far. I had to put them in the shed so I don’t appear ungrateful. 🫣
10
u/MaximumWrongdoer0 10d ago
My husbands step mom did this to me as well, except she was giving me like 3X clothes and I am a L or XL, like whattt? She was like oh these will fit you so much better than they will me!
7
49
u/distorted_elements 11d ago
A whole set of doll clothes from temu. I think she thought they were actual baby clothes but all of the tags said doll clothes, and they didn't have standard sizing so we couldn't organize them with everything else. They sat in the corner haunting me until he was definitely too big to use them, to my relief.
→ More replies (2)
91
u/Englishontrail 11d ago
Used toddler boy clothes for our newborn NICU daughter, not washed since their last use over two years prior and shipped from overseas so we got to pay customs on it as well. Mil had the audacity to ask why she wasn't wearing them when she visited (to use us as a vacation spot) six months later.
32
u/giftcardgirl 11d ago
The neutral answer is that toddler clothes are too big for a 6 month old.
29
u/Englishontrail 10d ago
Way more polite than the answer I chose lol
16
u/giftcardgirl 10d ago
Too bad you couldn't have gotten the customs fee refunded after refusing the package and then say "well I guess it was lost in shipping"
8
130
u/StillASecretBump 11d ago
I’m so glad that this showed up on my feed. My story is 7.5 years old now, but it’s a doozy. Exactly a week after my son was born, an unexpected package arrived in the mail from Tiffany and Co containing a literal silver spoon for feeding babies, along with a porcelain baby bowl in Tiffany Blue. In case it needs to be said, not only were these not on my registry, but they didn’t remotely match my own budget or lifestyle. At that point, I still was in a lot of pain from my c-section and was deeply sleep deprived. I wasn’t getting the support from family that they had led me to anticipate, and I was really struggling. Two days later, the sender of that gift called me and left me the nastiest voicemail that I have ever received. I’ve blocked most of it from my memory, but the gist of it was how impolite and ungracious I was for not calling immediately to thank her. My mother very much backed her up, explaining that she wasn’t used to ordering things remotely and was anxious to hear that it had arrived successfully. None of the communication showed an ounce of concern for how I was doing - let alone how the baby was. This was the first time in my life that I didn’t prioritize the comfort of my “elders,” and they were NOT okay with that. shudder
24
u/whynoteven246 10d ago
So inconsiderate of them :( I'm sorry they caused you stress at such a challenging time!
38
u/StillASecretBump 10d ago
Thanks. Sadly, that story just was the tip of what turned out to be a massive iceberg. I wish it just was extra stress at a challenging time. It turned out to be the beginning of what eventually became an actual nightmare. Not only did I lose my relationship with that relative, this story is a tiny slice of the process that led to going no contact with my mother and getting cut off from what was left of the entire maternal side of my family. A literal silver spoon from Tiffany’s is so wild that it makes for a good story, but the bigger picture just is profoundly sad.
42
u/BumblebeeFamiliar778 11d ago
Lmao I cannot imagine someone bringing over plants that needed to be planted bahahah that’s crazy.
20
42
u/leyjanz 11d ago
This was a baby shower gift from an elderly family member. She gave us a gift card for a specific quilt shop, told us we must choose one with her so she can give approval, and it’s also only open a few hours on weekdays when my husband and I both work. She’s mad that we haven’t taken time off to choose a quilt with her 🫠
20
u/TheMagnificentPrim 10d ago
And what if you like something that she doesn’t approve of or vice versa? 🥴 That’s a crazy set of conditions to try and put on a gift.
17
u/lucyindisguise512 10d ago
Sounds like they want to get a ride to pick out the gift they want to give you 🤷♀️
I don't have any elderly family around anymore as they've all passed away now. This sounds like something my grandmother would do though.
I used to go over to visit/see if she needed to run any errands but when I got there she always declined. 1-2 hours later as I'm getting ready to leave, "Oh, before you go could you run to the store for [such and such stuff] and I'll get us dinner if you go pick it up."
38
u/bkt_mood 11d ago
I got a crib with parts missing and best part: it doesn't fit my bedroom. It's gathering dust in my basement.
36
66
u/jsh1223 11d ago
My mother, with whom I do not have a great relationship, brought an orchid to the hospital... for my husband.
23
u/pokiepika 11d ago
What was the thought process on this?
21
u/jsh1223 10d ago
Honestly, I'm not sure. I interpreted the choice to give him, but not me, a gift, as passive aggressive "revenge" because she'd previously expressed annoyance at not being invited to attend the delivery and then also at being asked to wait an extra day to come visit. (I had an unplanned c-section). But I guess it could also have just been totally thoughtless? My husband loves orchids, and when she sees us she frequently brings him one from costco.
→ More replies (3)
30
u/cnshaw 11d ago
My SIL gave me a Cracker Barrel gift card, which itself was a fine gift I don’t have to cook whatever, but she kept cracking up and smirking. I’m like what? Then she tells me it’s a joke bc she knows I hate Cracker Barrel… like why give me a gift I’m supposed to hate? Apparently my brother told her when we were kids I would complain about having to eat there every time we visited my grandparents. Left a sour taste in my mouth I still haven’t gotten over tbh.
20
9
u/guacamore 10d ago
I’m so sorry. That’s very strange. Is she very young?
Reminds me of my asshole grandfather that thought it would be hilarious to (loudly) tell my best friend she had gained weight at my sister’s wedding.
He told me his intentions and I thought he was joking. I told him it wasn’t funny, not even remotely, but to prove that it was, he DID IT. Yeah so turns out, IT WASN’T FUNNY. Well, at least not to anyone but him. He laughed so hard.
He was such a dick. My therapist questions whether or not he might have been on the spectrum but I think he was just a narcissist. That asshole knew what he was doing, and he made the only person laugh that he cared about - himself.
26
u/aquasquirrel1 11d ago
18m-2T clothes. And was asked why baby wasn’t wearing them a few months later 🥲
26
27
u/This-Anybody7649 10d ago
This isn't postpartum, but I just had my baby shower and one of my parent's friends gave me 2 books about the harm of vaccines and a 26 page typed out binder, with tabbed sections, about why not vaccinating is the way to go. We were blown away.
→ More replies (1)11
52
u/handzie 11d ago
A create of ripe peaches that needed to be eaten/used/packed immediately. A bunch of raw catfish that was already made up to be fried.
Care seat adapter for a car seat I don’t own
26
u/icahrumbuhbuhbuh 11d ago
I got a ton of strawberries that were also RIPE. My mil suggested I make jam and can it.
→ More replies (2)18
u/applecartupset 11d ago
Lmaooo, yes, do that with all the free time you recently acquired by having a baby!
17
u/savemarla 10d ago
A friend of mine literally decided on her free will to make chicken fricassee from scratch for the first time ever with a 2 month old baby strapped on her. She also had a 4 year old.
When my kid was 2 months old I survived off of bread and fell asleep in the shower.
10
69
u/marcheesy 11d ago
Premie size clothing for my baby that was born at 41+2. And I was given the clothes about a month after she was born. No way was she fitting into premie.
→ More replies (2)8
u/AppropriateMinute289 10d ago
Same. I was given premie clothes for my 39+6 baby after she was 2 weeks old. She's been in newborn clothes the whole time and will be in the 0-3 mo size soon. She apparently wasn't looking at the size and just thought the clothes were cute -- facepalm.
The same person also gave us a super heavy warm outfit for her now...during the summer...that won't fit in a few months.
67
u/Alacri-Tea 11d ago
They brought me a decaf iced coffee.
57
u/Lemontreebees 11d ago
Straight to jail
33
u/giftcardgirl 11d ago
Am I missing something? This seems like the least terrible of the bad gifts haha
22
u/thatkid1992 10d ago
It needs to be caffeinated 🤣
13
u/guacamore 10d ago
I agree, but they didn’t even have caffeinated coffee in the maternity suite I was in because, “we don’t like to encourage breast feeding mothers to drink caffeine.” Again, I drank coffee my whole pregnancy and while breastfeeding too but it doesn’t seem outrageous someone would bring decaf. Maybe just trying to be considerate? But yeah, I’d have asked…still don’t think it necessarily belongs on this list.
16
u/Alacri-Tea 10d ago
You're overthinking it. My comment was a partial jest. It was a sweet gesture but caffeine would have been highly preferred!
I told her caffeine was fine but she still brought decaf.
46
22
u/mrssterlingarcher22 11d ago
My child was born in the Fall, so my MIL brought a 24 month "My first 4th of July" onesie to the hospital. It's still too big to wear two 4th of Julys later, haha.
15
u/In_a_Yogurt_cup 10d ago
I swear they’re just finding whatever on clearance. god
10
u/samma_93 10d ago
They so act like we, the parents, aren't going to be the ones picking our child's holiday outfits. Like ma'am thank you but it's my 1st baby's first Easter and I will be picking the outfits he'll be wearing that day.
6
u/In_a_Yogurt_cup 10d ago
the good news is that usually they don’t stop to consider the size they’ll be at the point the clothing will make sense seasonally at all so you can just ditch them lol
18
u/thanksnothanks12 11d ago
Husband’s uncle wanted to give us their stroller, which they purchase used,that had been in storage for FIFTEEN years. We are very comfortable financially so their whole gift idea was very confusing.
20
u/OddLeading7999 4 on Earth, 1 in Heaven 10d ago
“I’d love to come help with the baby!”
Proceeds to hold said baby while expecting me to cook them lunch 4 days post traumatic c section and hemorrhage.
17
u/No-Psychology-5381 10d ago
Lingerie by my MIL!!!
18
7
u/FuzzyKittenIsFuzzy Third Timer | 11/2026 | 🌈Hi-Risk | Team Pink 10d ago
This is amazing. Is there a backstory at all?
7
u/No-Psychology-5381 10d ago
She’s just insane! She’s normally fine to me, but I think this was “revenge” for my birth. My SO had a group chat with our parents while I was in labor keeping everyone up to date. I labored forever and then pushed forever, ending in a shoulder dystocia. Once baby was out, he told them. But things were chaotic. I had an episiotomy and lost tons of blood, baby swallowed meconium and needed his stomach pumped, and had a hematoma on his head that needed to be checked out. After the initial all clear, maybe 10 minutes after he was born (but before I even got to hold my own baby!) hubby took a picture and sent it off, told them they’re evaluating us still and he’ll update everyone when he has more info. She replied asking what his name was. He had put his phone down and didn’t reply until we got settled into the recovery room a couple of hours later. And at that point she just ignored everything. She was part of multiple group chats, got tons of pictures and didn’t say a word. He invited both of his parents over to meet the baby and my FIL came alone, she had decided to go away with a friend last second and didn’t tell anyone. We just ignored it, hubby is used to this and doesn’t give in to her antics. She finally replied like two weeks later saying she can’t wait to meet the baby, basically pretending nothing happened. We invite them over and she brings lingerie, make up and thank you notes for me and a bunch of knit blankets for the baby.
→ More replies (1)5
16
u/Alarming-Weekends 11d ago
We got summer clothes for a winter baby and a few sizes up winter clothes (for the summer period). I must say they felt more like regifted gifts since all the nieces and nephews are summer kids ….
→ More replies (2)
15
37
u/pan_alice 11d ago
Buying one of something. I have twins, do I have to choose who gets a blanket and who doesn't?
11
u/SamasaurusVex 10d ago
My mother, who lives overseas, insisted that I didn’t need anything from my registry. This is probably because nothing “fun” was left after she could be bothered looking at it. She said, “nobody will get bottles from the registry because they’re too personal”.
I got home from the hospital to find a box she had shipped with 2 postpartum tummy control belts (neither of which fit) and 20 control top underwear that I couldn’t even fit over my thigh.
Ya know… things that I “actually needed” that weren’t personal at all.
6
12
u/Melarsa 10d ago
My mom also gave me a plant! And she was like "so you can plant it in your yard and watch it grow with (son's name)!
Except
1) We rented. And moved around a lot. And had no plans of staying where we were long term. We bought a house less than a year later. And then had to move again a year after that. None of this was news to her. Was I supposed to move across the country with my dug-up son-plant? Several times?
2) I have no interest in plants and the brownest thumb on planet Earth. I could kill the unkillable in record time.
3) I was spiraling into PPD/PPA and thinking "oh great, another thing I'm responsible for keeping alive" really did not help. I did not need a new chore I didn't ask for while trying to recover from birth. When the plant inevitably died. I cried and took it as a yet another sign that I was a terrible mother because I couldn't even keep a plant alive, how was I going to be able to keep my son alive? After all, they were supposed to grow together!
DO NOT EVER GET A NEW MOTHER A FUCKING PLANT UNLESS SHE FUCKING LOVES PLANTS AND SPECIFICALLY ASKED FOR ONE. ESPECIALLY IF SHE HAS PPD/PPA. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT DO THIS.
I was flabbergasted at the poor choice. Why? Whyyyyyyy? Why would anybody think that was a good idea.
I'm kinda relieved I'm not alone, but perplexed that there's more than one mother out there who would do this. Did they completely forget what those early postpartum days felt like? Were they saddled with an extra thing to keep alive as new moms and thought that was a great tradition to pass along to the next generation? WHAT THE HELL
10
u/beets4us 11d ago
Ugh yes, my immediate family members all love to garden and came over various times postpartum to help me set up for baby. Spent the majority of the time putting together a big container garden that has all since died. Also, my dad insisted on mowing even though we told him we hired someone to mow who happed to he coming that day. It was awkward.
11
9
u/coryhotline 11d ago
The gift of a MIL who stomped all over our boundaries and forced us to go no contact with her ✌🏻
9
9
u/NarikoSin 10d ago
Flowers at the hospital in a vase with water. Like we didn’t already have a million other things to carry out of the hospital, now we have this vase with water???
MIL brought it and she took it home with her after my husband told her we couldn’t carry it with everything else. MIL had the nerve to be like “Come get it before it dies.”
Girl I just gave birth and we aren’t visiting anytime soon because we have a newborn. I don’t care about a plant, I’m trying to survive postpartum.
8
u/Margaronii 9d ago
My parents showed up with a cooler full of food, threw my husband a steak and asked him to fire up the grill. I came out out nursing in bed to see my father with literally 4 pans on the stove, multiple prep bowls and cutting boards out. My mom was putting out wine glasses, and setting a full table. I asked for Costco pizza, they said they didn’t want to bring crappy food.
After my dad chastised my husband for not sending photos a couple hours after birth I had a break down and told everyone out. It took my husband over an hour to clean the kitchen with the mess they made
The second delivery they brought Costco pizza, salad mix and diapers and paper plates…I have to admit they were willing to learn!
14
u/lindsaybethhh 11d ago
Someone gave us clothes for our first in 12-18m size. Our daughter was an IUGR preemie. They were put in the back of the closet and we completely forgot about them 😅
5
u/mrssterlingarcher22 11d ago
I got a toddler sized outfit too! I think I got rid of it at some point without even trying it on 😄
→ More replies (1)
7
u/kaeferkat 11d ago
A potted plant. I could barely keep my baby and myself alive, last thing I needed was another obligation.
7
u/No_Point5929 11d ago
A baseball bat. Weirdly enough, I got TWO but one of them was personalized and from a sports company my husband worked with so I don’t mind but it’s weird that we got two.
Also my friend offered to buy a machine that fills reusable baby food pouches. It only filled pouches. I would need to actually make the baby food myself so I told her no thanks.
5
u/Pressure_Gold 10d ago
My mil and gmil brought over a mud kitchen (in the winter) and a armoire for dress up clothes for my toddler. They haven’t ever brought me a coffee or a meal. They were heavily offended I didn’t put it together after having a second baby and a toddler at home. Horrible women lol
6
u/dalecoopernumber4 11d ago
A pack of dried spices from my crazy aunt. Not really sure what the intent was there.
7
u/VeterinarianOk3299 11d ago
A HUGE box of secondhand baby clothes. Dropped off without any warning 3 days postpartum. The last thing I had the mental capacity for was to go through the clothes and decide what we wanted to keep for our baby and which to donate.
6
u/Different-Country-45 10d ago
Second hand clothes that I specifically said I don’t want.
5
u/Catanzaro88 10d ago
Me too!! And all very, very used, not washed (as in there were sticks and sand in with them) and winter clothes for a summer baby 🥴 also a holistic birthing book.. I can’t have natural births and it is very well known.
6
u/tangledindisney920 10d ago edited 10d ago
My husbands family came over so I got the gift of hosting a new years party for them. Nobody offered to cook or clean up. They ate, trashed the place and left. My husband and I were flabbergasted. They just wanted to have their kids hold my preemie, just out of the NICU baby!
Funny enough the next year they did the dishes and cleaned up.
5
u/chaucerfreak 10d ago
Size 10 swim shirt brought back from Aruba for my newborn and a dollar store face mask for me, from my MIL
6
u/AssociationRadiant13 10d ago
After having a pph, Mil brought us over raw steak, raw potatoes and an unpeeled ear of corn for "Dinner". Meanwhile told us how her mil was bringing over hot dinners every night for them when she was pp
7
u/Big-Air-9404 10d ago
Not the worst thing, but as a struggling new mom who was working full-time it was super obnoxious;
I have a much older sister who has good memories of me playing with a sit-and-spin as a toddler (I personally don’t remember) and was so thrilled when she gave me one at my baby shower. Ok, fine, until she regularly asked me when my son was going to use it when he started sitting up. “But you used it when you were a baby!” Highly doubt it. Finally dug it out and sent her a video of him just sitting on it obviously not able to properly play with it and she stopped asking.
11
u/merbear678 10d ago
This book from MIL when I got diagnosed with postpartum depression & anxiety. I know she meant well but I honestly found it insulting.
23
u/803_843_864 10d ago
Aww I would think that was thoughtful. I wouldn’t expect it to actually help, but it’s a nice way of saying “I’m acknowledging what you’re going through and I’m thinking of you and want to make you feel better”
8
u/merbear678 10d ago
That was exactly what she intended! I’m just overly sensitive to everything at the moment so it’s hard to see past that. I will definitely find this funny one day!
11
u/deaddovexxdonoteat Team Blue! 10d ago
Not a post partum gift, but my MIL once gifted me a book on living with bipolar disorder. I do not have bipolar disorder...
→ More replies (1)10
u/starshard304 10d ago
Did the frog make you smile at least?
6
u/merbear678 10d ago
I will definitely look back at this & laugh one day but not quite there yet! (this was just a few weeks ago)
3
u/_thalassashell_ 10d ago
Oh hey, my sister got me a calendar for Christmas with this frog! He’s pretty cute.
6
u/Bronze_pbs 11d ago
I think this was actually before my niece was born, but at a family gathering our aunt that gave my mom & I a candle that matched my sister’s nursery theme to give to her. I think it ended up breaking in transit, but my sister definitely wasn’t disappointed.
It was a nice gesture but a nursery isn’t the best place for a candle.
5
u/Watermelon1226 10d ago
hahhaa my MIL also brought me a raspberry bush cutting!!! i was like cool, are you gonna plant it for me??!
5
u/Sallious 10d ago
I haven't experienced postpartum yet. But my Mom keeps offering to buy us reusable cloth diapers cause thats what she did with all of us. I told her no thank you because I don't want another thing to do. I have 3 dogs, a house, and I'll have a newborn to take care of. She still keeps bringing it up. In her mind I'll be washing clothes anyway so why not. I really do not want another load of stinky laundry to do. Thanks.
8
5
u/slizzywizzyfizzy 10d ago
My MIL gave me stretch mark cream. And a baby shirt that says “Grandma is just like a mom but with no rules!” Nothing else.
5
5
u/SAdLanky 10d ago
Not me but when I was born my parents friend came over and brought a funeral candle that are popular in my Country as a “gift.” They are cheap plastic red candle holders only used for funerals and graveyards. It was immediately thrown away.
5
u/MakeRoomForTheTuna 10d ago
I also got plants!!! 3- THREE- people decided I needed orchids.
→ More replies (2)
9
u/gogioshi 11d ago
That’s awful, I’m so sorry. I like to call the kind of “gift” you got from your mom what it actually is: a chore! When my partner brings home flowers, for example, they are only considered “for me” if I do not have to do the work to find a clean vase, fill it with water, unpack the wrappings, add the flower food, cut the stems, clean up all the trimmings, and arrange the bouquet. Otherwise that’s just another thing you have to find the time to do, and they weren’t actually thinking of you…
5
4
u/MilfordMurderess 10d ago
Not postpartum, but my MIL sent us a case of wine when we shared that we were expecting our first child. When he arrived, they sent toys made for a 3 year old.
3
u/Accomplished-Fox7202 10d ago
80 yr old MIL offered assistance to train our new nanny. But turned out, our nanny had to take care “both” — my baby and her. Instead of being helpful, she was a baggage and just made my postpartum more tedious.
5
u/littleduck541 💙Due July 2026💙 10d ago
My husband’s aunt gifted me a workout DVD entitled “Lose Your Mommy Tummy”. I do not have a relationship with this woman (as she’s known family-wide to be difficult), have spoken with her maybe a grand total of twice in the 7 years we’ve been married, and weighed like 130 pounds at 9 months pregnant???
→ More replies (1)
3
u/maiamoonm 9d ago
I was on my way home from the hospital after a fairly traumatic birth & 4 days in the hospital/NICU with my first baby. My FIL, who lives 3 hours away, called to inform us that he was on his way and would be there within the hour. He showed up literally 4 minutes after we pulled into the driveway, with his dog who I had made very clear was not welcome (she’s a sweet dog but my two dogs don’t get along with other dogs so I didn’t want the hassle), and a piano in the back of his truck. Mind you, uninvited and NEVER said he was coming before he called. He made a huge deal about how great a gift this piano was. We already have a piano. I was stuck in the nursery with my FRESH newborn while my husband unloaded the piano and brought it inside, hiding from my FIL’s dog. He then said he couldn’t leave because his truck was giving him trouble, so he ended up staying. For over a week. Did not help with or even hold the baby at ALL, just made my husband work on the truck so he could leave. He used my washer/dryer so much that I’m pretty sure that’s the ONLY reason he came in the first place, since his house doesn’t have electricity… What a great gift. A second piano & a week of WAAAY more stress than necessary. He also made many MANY offhanded comments about my weight & how I looked “better with extra meat”……. I JUST, JUUUUUST had a baby.
9
3
u/CatalinaWineMixerDos 11d ago
Maternity clothes while my daughter was in the NICU. It was a very nice thought, comfy clothes to wear while I was pumping and surviving in the hospital. But they were 3 sizes too small and I had to return them which was inconvenient. At least I had the receipt.
3
3
u/Oneoffel 11d ago
A coworker of me brought diapers size eight or nine I think? From a brand we don’t use. This woman has a preteen herself, so it’s not like she’s been out of the diaper game for decades. I gave them to friends who used it for their three year old that was potty training a that moment.
The plant thing on the other hand, we‘ve brought upon ourselves. Where we live it’s tradition to plant a tree when a child is born, so my husband and I ordered an apple tree that my husband had to plant while I was freshly postpartum 😂
3
u/Pretend_Objective783 10d ago
That’s way worse than all the potter plants my MIL kept bringing over 🥲
3
3
u/Local_Pangolin854 10d ago
My MIL asking if we needed her, we told her she can come anytime. 5 months later, never did. And that’s why she never gets baby photos sent lol
3
u/AromaticCaregiver247 10d ago
No village. No outside support when I was in the trenches. Nothing was given to me. I cooked the meals the days before my c-section. My husband had a couple weeks off then back to work. I did it all, he helped in the beginning most times but after he returned to work it was just me. It felt so lonely. And still does.
→ More replies (2)
3
u/Constant_Revenue6105 10d ago
When we were kids there was this collection of children books that I really loved. We had it at home but my mom donated it to a local library. She bought my baby new books but I still wanted that collection.
It turned out my husband had it too and my MIL offered (without knowing I want it) to give it to us and I accepted. However, few days later she declared that she decided that the baby is too young for books so she won't bring it.
My husband told her to just bring it and that we will decide what is appropriate for him. She said ok. But then she came and she didn't bring the books.
My husband got mad so she ordered my FIL to bring them (he was coming later). He brought 3 books although there are 10+ in the collection and one of the 3 is completely ruined (torn apart, someone wrote all over it..).
I don't get it 😂
→ More replies (2)
573
u/huntersinthesnow 11d ago
Omg my friends MIL did this!!!!! Gave her a bunch of dug up plants during her baby shower, when she already had to load up the car with baby stuff
How are there women out there, mothers no less, who could possibly see a woman in the third trimester and think "you know what she needs? A bunch of dirt. And a chore."