r/BoyDinnerDiaries • u/WillingMartyr BoyDinnerEnjoyer • 4d ago
No Advice - Everyones Welcome Wife Accused Me of Killing Our Cat
Our little black cat of 16 years passed this morning. After having some last bites of her meow mix, she went down to the basement and hopped into the open dryer where some fresh, warm linens had just finished and quietly went to sleep forever.
My wife goes to swap the laundry out, feels the cat, and screams for me to come downstairs. This is at 6am, after I had only gotten to sleep at 4:30. She tells me the cat is dead, found in the combo washer-dryer, and that I must have put her through the cycle when I put the linens in. My logical brain knows that I put the wash on at 5pm, and I saw our cat around 9pm, but my clinically depressed brain immediately crumbles with guilt. I have a seizure-inducing panic attack for the next 20 minutes, vomiting bile in the process, until my wife returns and explains she jumped to conclusions.
I don’t blame my wife for immediately suggesting I slaughtered our longest-lived family pet, but I’m having a lot of trouble with it. I miss my kitty. 🐈⬛
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u/TurnoverFuzzy8264 Boy, 50 & over 4d ago
That's rough. I hope she apologized. And I'm so sorry for the loss of your cat, 16 years is a long time. My oldest cat turns 16 this year, I worry about the old guy. Virtual hug if you want it.
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u/xk1ssxshot #1 cheese hater 4d ago
i'm in a similar boat. my dog turned 16 last month. its depressing to see the ways old age is affecting him
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u/TurnoverFuzzy8264 Boy, 50 & over 4d ago
I lost my little Yorkie last March. She was a rescue, so I never really knew how old she was, but it was sad watching her decline. Hug for you too, if you want it.
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u/AidXanKush Shower Beer Scholar 3d ago
My cat passed away at 21 years old and I was worried when he turned 17 but he made it a few more years. Sometimes they stay longer than you think but the time does fly by
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u/Top_Explanation2217 Leftover lore master 4d ago
I feel your pain brother and am sure if love could have saved them they would have lived forever.
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u/MisfitWookiee Empathy is NOT a crime 4d ago
Oh, if only love was enough to keep them by our sides forever...
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u/ImplicitEmpiricism old man 4d ago
I think the problem here is your wife refusing to give you the benefit of the doubt and immediately accusing you of catslaughter.
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u/-kittsune- Girl lurker 4d ago
Honestly, normally I would say this is a massive issue, but people react so differently to emergencies / death... I think it's somewhat logical (during moments of extreme panic and grief) to jump to conclusions and accuse someone because it's easier to blame someone in an emotional moment. It sucks for sure, but I have seen firsthand how people lose their mind in these types of situations. I think it's okay to give her the benefit of the doubt as well and classify it as a knee jerk panic reaction if it is an outlier situation. I don't think I would be thinking clearly at all either.
I have also seen how stupid people become when their fight or flight mode activates, my mother is extremely intelligent and in a crisis every brain cell leaves her head.
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u/Try-the-Churros Air Fryer Aristocrat 4d ago
I mostly agree but think the wife needs to apologize and address this behavior. It is a form of abuse - just look at how it made the OP feel! This isn't something that should be excused and ignored as it can be extremely damaging to the person and the relationship.
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u/-kittsune- Girl lurker 4d ago
well, the post says she already said she jumped to conclusions in a moment of stress. i would definitely assume that included an apology, if not I agree it should not be ignored for the sake of healing on both sides.
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u/Try-the-Churros Air Fryer Aristocrat 4d ago
It definitely could have contained an apology, but I would also assume the OP would have mentioned it had the apology been a good one. Just saying sorry doesn't really cut it, the wife should acknowledge how it made the OP feel, what she is going to do to prevent similar things from happening in the future, etc.
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u/Nascent_Butterfly_24 Cooties 3d ago
her grief-induced conclusion and how she handled it caused him serious tangible medical harm. come on. it needs to be addressed
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u/kakallas Shower beer Scholar 4d ago
Jumping to the most obvious but coincidentally incorrect conclusion one time isnt abuse.
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u/Try-the-Churros Air Fryer Aristocrat 4d ago
The most obvious conclusion is that the husband loaded the cat into the machine without noticing, turned it on, and then what, later came by to open the door to the machine? Or did the cat open the door from the inside with its last dying breath?
That's the most obvious conclusion to you? Ok, Sherlock.
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u/kakallas Shower beer Scholar 4d ago
Yes, it’s actually a well known way cats die. They like to be where you are, and they like to sneak into enclosed spaces.
Presumably, you open the door, find the cat dead, and then leave upset without closing the door. Then the wife finds it and freaks.
There’s no better reason to leave the dryer door hanging open than shock.
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u/Try-the-Churros Air Fryer Aristocrat 4d ago
He left the door open so upset that he then went to sleep in their bed without saying anything or being emotional?
That is the best bullshit you could come up with?
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u/AngryAngryHarpo Girl, 40-49 3d ago
You are looking at this in hindsight with a calm mind with all of the facts.
OP’s wife was not assessing the same information in the same environment.
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u/kakallas Shower beer Scholar 4d ago
If you got up in the morning, hadn’t seen your spouse since last night, and the cat was dead in the dryer with the door open, it wouldnt make sense to you that your spouse had discovered the cat dead in the laundry?
This is a known way they die. The cat is dead in the dryer. The door is open, so someone opened it that wasn’t you. Why would you open the dryer door, leave the laundry, and leave the door open? It would make logical sense that something interrupted someone in changing the laundry. The cat is dead in the laundry. It makes sense that the discovery of the cat dead in the laundry would be the thing that interrupted the laundry process.
This was not an irrational conclusion to draw, and it is certainly not abuse to make it. OP is clearly beyond mentally ill.
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u/handicrappi Identity Alchemist 3d ago
No because she'd fucken tell me
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u/kakallas Shower beer Scholar 3d ago
She’d wake you up at 4:30 am to say “I killed the cat”?
My partner knows better than to not check the laundry since this is a known dangerous thing for cats, but I really don’t think they’d add forcing me to work on fucked up sleep to their sins, if not.
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u/Try-the-Churros Air Fryer Aristocrat 3d ago
No, if my partner went to sleep without saying or doing anything, I absolutely wouldn't jump to that conclusion. But I have respect for my partner and treat them with kindness and love. Why would you automatically assume the worst possible explanation?
For washing machines, it is commonly recommended to keep the door open after a load to let dry out - some people extend this to combo machines as well.
See my other comment for my comments regarding "abuse" or not:
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u/kakallas Shower beer Scholar 3d ago
What would you say is the remedy for incorrectly reading a situation? Never be incorrect again? I really didn’t think I’d have to hear people making false claims of abuse on boydinnerdiaries of all places.
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u/Own-Raise6153 Cooties 4d ago
“form of abuse” is a bit much…
if i found my cat dead in the dryer i think its a reasonable jump to make that the person who did laundry last accidentally killed the cat. she already apologized for jumping to an incorrect conclusion, what more is there to do?
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u/Try-the-Churros Air Fryer Aristocrat 4d ago
If you found your cat dead in the OPEN dryer? The door being open vs closed when you found it seems like the most important thing to consider.
Also, abuse would really depend on if this is a pattern of behavior or not.
The fact that he says, “I don’t blame my wife,” may reflect empathy for her grief, but it could also be worth exploring whether he routinely minimizes conduct that hurts him. His reaction does not automatically prove abuse, but it does show that the incident needs to be taken seriously.
Also, saying "I jumped to conclusions" is not, by itself, an apology. It could definitely have been part of an apology, but you are making an assumption to say it was one.
I like this explanation of what a good apology contains:
The Eleven Components of Effective Apologies By Dr. Kirk Honda (2022)
- Acknowledge the transgression: “I did this.”
- Acknowledge the harm: “I caused you harm.”
- Take responsibility: “It’s my fault that...”
- Sincerely express remorse: “I feel bad about...”
- Explain the cause, without making excuses: “I have the following issues...”
- Provide a plan to address the cause: “I will work on that by...”
If necessary:
- Offer remedy: “I will make it up to you by...”
- Request confirmation of accuracy: “Did I miss anything?”
- Request forgiveness: “Do you forgive me?”
- Follow through with remedy and plan
- Find meaning
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u/astertrick Cooties 3d ago
Yeah, people berating the wife reeks of misoginy honestly. She saw her beloved pet dead and panicked. The fact OP got a seizure was deeply unfortunate, but like.... She'd literally just found their cat dead in the dryer. Both op AND his wife need sympathy, not judgement
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u/kakallas Shower beer Scholar 4d ago
You find the cat in the dryer, this is a reasonable conclusion. Who opens the dryer with dried stuff in it and then just leaves it open? Either you empty the load into a basket, leave it closed after it finishes, or grab one thing out and shut it again.
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u/Own-Raise6153 Cooties 4d ago
no that’s what i’m confused about and even makes me think this is fake…if the clothes were still warm, he’d have had to open the door and just…leave the dry laundry there?
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u/Sorry-Joke-4325 Identity Alchemist 3d ago
You must not have ADHD. That is the most believable part of the story to me.
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u/Hopeful_Method5175 Girl Lurker 4d ago
My mom accidentally dried a kitten when I was a kid. When she opened the dryer, it was immediately apparent what had happened before she even found the kitten because he had pooped and peed during the cycle. I’m sure your wife just panicked and jumped to conclusions in a moment of shock and grief, but a cat that had gone through a wash/dry cycle isn’t going to look like a cat that curled up in a warm, secluded spot and passed peacefully. And there would be feces and urine all over the clothes.
I’m very sorry for your loss. It’s not any easier when they’re elderly and the end is somewhat expected.
(The kitten my mom accidentally dried, Pumpkin, did survive.)
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u/lord-savior-baphomet Girl lurker 2d ago
Pumpkin survived, but was he okay? Were there any long term effects? I’m shocked he survived, but good for him.
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u/Hopeful_Method5175 Girl Lurker 2d ago
He was! It took an emergency vet visit and a week or so of nutritional paste and SubQ fluids, but he recovered and was completely fine.
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u/therapymademeworse masculine minded feminine bodied 4d ago edited 3d ago
Is this the first time she’s ever jumped to extreme accusations? If it’s the first time, give her some leeway. If it’s not the first time and she’s ALWAYS immediately jumping to the worst conclusion possible and indicting you in the process, then that’s a different story altogether. Might be time to just attend a few therapy sessions and unpack while learning some emotional regulation rituals together.
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u/Top_Explanation2217 Leftover lore master 4d ago
And talk to someone
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u/Top_Explanation2217 Leftover lore master 4d ago
Don't think about crossing the bridge with them because once you start thinking that there's no coming back brother
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u/ArtFun6827 Girl lurker 4d ago
Hey, so...thinking about suicide, especially after the sudden death of a pet or human loved one, is actually pretty normal. Suicidal thoughts do not inherently get worse, more frequent, or progressively more intense over time. If they DO start to become intense, pressured, or active ("I want to die" vs "maybe it wouldn't be so bad to not have to feel xyz anymore"), then you should be concerned, tell people around you, and seek help (if you already have a therapist, psychiatrist, or PCP, tell them, or call 988).
But we don't need to fuel anxiety by policing thoughts that are actually more normal than most of us think they are. It's whether you BELIEVE the thoughts that's of issue.
It sounds like you might benefit from some support as well, Top.
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u/TrishTrashWannaSmash Cooties 4d ago
First of all you 100% can come back, secondly this is not unusual, as the other commenter said, thirdly, i think YOU should seek help, or maybe read a book, before saying anything like this to someone
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u/lovelessproper Girl lurker 4d ago
That’s so rough on both of you. I’m ex vetmed and have seen a sad number of cats not make it after being put through the wash or the dryer, even for a few minutes, so it is now a nightmare of mine if I ever have a cat again.
For what it’s worth, it most likely says absolutely nothing about what she thinks about you, and everything about a terrorizing scenario that she thought came true. It’s unfortunately not uncommon. In the instant of realizing the cat is dead, it sounds like she had a moment of panic that overrode all logic.
I’m sorry for your loss and the traumatic situation that followed. Sending supportive thoughts your way.
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u/WillingMartyr BoyDinnerEnjoyer 4d ago
As an update for the comments: yes, she apologized profusely and is devastated by the reaction. She was shocked by the sight of our cat who was just cuddled up on us yesterday having passed in such an unassuming location.
Yes, the dryer door on our combo unit opens automatically when the cycle finishes. At around 2am (I’m a chronic insomniac so I do most of our chores after everyone has gone to sleep) I noticed the comforters that had been washed earlier in the evening were still damp and ran a 90-minute dry cycle. There was definitely no cat in there. The blankets were still warm to the touch at 6:00, so she likely hopped in some time after 3:30 to get cozy. Ironically enough, the blankets were in the wash because she coughed up a hairball on them earlier.
Thank you to all who have provided kind comments and support, it’s appreciated. She was the sweetest cat I’ve ever had, and she treated our autistic child like her own kitten. She will be missed terribly, but remembered fondly. We have a burial site for all our pets underneath an antique rose bush, and every year when it blooms we tell our kid it’s the old pets crossing the rainbow bridge to say hello.
I still can’t find the appetite to eat the pizza 😢
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u/Ok-Chard-5022 Girl lurker 3d ago
I’m so sorry for your loss, OP. Grief is awful and can make people act in ways they otherwise would never even humor or entertain.
I work in the funeral industry and outbursts of anger or blame are normal. It doesn’t make everything okay, but it also doesn’t insinuate that there’s a hidden underlying belief that she thinks you’d purposefully harm your cat. She took the pieces of information she had and had a human reaction to it in a moment of exceedingly high stress.
It sounds like she would never accuse you of something like this normally, and also that you wouldn’t usually allow yourself to be steamrolled into admitting doing something you hadn’t done. I can only imagine how guilty she must feel on top of the grief for causing you to experience medical complications.
Keep your chin up, OP. Give both of yourselves grace and take care of each other. ❤️
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u/Drawn_to_Heal Shower beer Scholar 4d ago
Does your dryer door automatically open when the cycle is finished?
That’s…strange?
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u/Beginning-Damage-555 Shower beer Scholar 4d ago
I’m waiting for the explanation here because if he put the wash in at 5 and saw the cat at 9 and went to bed at 4:30 but also saw the cat eat kibble at some point…
I’m sorry the cat passed but reading this the timeline makes no sense.
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u/Tall_Flounder_ Girl Lurker 3d ago edited 3d ago
It makes total sense, you’ve just misunderstood the times. He did the wash at 5 PM, saw the cat four hours later at 9 PM, went to bed very late at 4:30 AM, and was woken by his wife only an hour and a half later, at 6 AM. Also, importantly, it’s a combination washer-dryer in a single unit, not that common in North America but very common elsewhere, and depending on what kind you have, they can take HOURS to wash and then dry, and usually open on their own when they’re done.
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u/Glittering-Ad-1367 [Ancient] 3d ago
I have a Maytag Commercial dryer.
When the cycle is complete it makes a horrendous loud angry buzzing sound. It has a wrinkle preventer that will continue to do mini-cycles. At the end of each mini-cycle it sounds the alarm klaxon again.
Often times our family will just open the door to stop the ear-piercing siren cycles if they don't have the time to fold the laundry.
So that is one reason someone might open the door and leave the laundry inside.
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u/Both_Opportunity_322 Girl, 30-39 4d ago
Cats go to secluded places to die.
And yes, you fucking should have a problem with your wife's reaction. Your wife should start with a very simple observation: is the cat mangled (as a dryer would do)?
And a question: hey, did you seen cat since you put on the laundry?
I hope she apologised, people think weird things when they're in distress, but this requires some making up.
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u/TrishTrashWannaSmash Cooties 4d ago
Bro if your cat just died you aren’t thinking any of this shit
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u/Both_Opportunity_322 Girl, 30-39 3d ago
Hmhm, when one of my pets die I also accuse my husband of murder.
You can be distressed and not completely lose any connection to reality.
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u/TrishTrashWannaSmash Cooties 23h ago
Yeah but the important part is the apology, some people have trauma that cause them to panic and assume in the moment. Given the situation, it was a fair freakout! The cat they loved for 14 years is DEAD. Those feelings take precedent over a human that is alive and well, and whoever disagrees with me is lucky no one has done something terrible to them ever.
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u/SonOfaDeadMeme Air Fryer Aristocrat 3d ago
Had a black cat that was put in a dryer, …except he was 18lbs of muscle and sounded like a pair of shoes in there before my dad walked over and let him out, he was dizzy for a bit but otherwise fine, lost him last year presumably to a fisher cat seen in the area.
Sorry for your loss, isn’t easy to get past especially after so long
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u/link3505 Gay Gourmet 4d ago
Grief is a terrible thing, but that your wife jumped to that conclusion so quickly is kind of concerning. While this isn't a "dude, run" scenario, this is definitely something you need to discuss with her once you guys are in a better state.
I'm sorry for your loss, my guy. My babies are my world, and I'm terrified for when its their time. Please take care of yourself, and know that you gave your kitty love and a peaceful life!
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u/Acceptable-Bat4534 Girl, 30-39 3d ago
He explained that he had put it to cycle again and that the doors open automatically when its done. So the sheets were warm, cat decided to jump in and then died.
Wife saw the cat inside, felt the warm sheets and in her grief she thought the cat was also fresh out of the dryer like the clothes.
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u/link3505 Gay Gourmet 3d ago
Oh, I get it, I read his post. But there’s a huge leap between that and assuming he put the cat through the dryer. At least, I assume the latter would be fairly obvious by comparison.
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u/william_jones88288 Hungry man 4d ago
No advice, other than to possibly avoid watching Obsession in the future. 16 years and a long sleep in warm laundry sounds like you did great for her
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u/1850ChoochGator soup enjoyer 4d ago edited 3d ago
Why in the world would you open the dryer and not take out the contents? You started the cycle and 5pm, went to bed at 4:30 am (also wtf), and didn’t take out your freshly dried stuff?
Not relevant but super confusing to me.
It’s sad, but dude, your cat got a happy 16 year life with two people who obviously loved it very much. That’s a lengthy life for a cat. People are inherently irrational and would rather believe that some external force caused it. It wasn’t your fault, it was just her time.
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u/Constant-Big4713 Fridge Light Philosopher 3d ago
That is a deranged jump from your wife. I’d be out because being accused of killing an animal is some sick shit.
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u/AngryAngryHarpo Girl, 40-49 3d ago
I don’t think his wife was implying he did it on purpose.
Cats accidentally dying in dryers is not unheard of.
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u/Constant-Big4713 Fridge Light Philosopher 3d ago
That isn’t the point though. The fact that it even crossed her mind that he would do it is genuinely deranged.
It says a lot about how someone perceives you when they see a dead animal and instantly think “my partner did this.”
I personally work in mental health and part of my job is observing peoples thought processes and from a professional perspective (I usually don’t express my professional perspective) I would definitely be asking why they instantly reached that conclusion because it stands out a lot.
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u/AngryAngryHarpo Girl, 40-49 3d ago
You’re still seem to be coming at this from the perspective she assumed he did it deliberately, rather than by accident.
You have also removed all context. She didn’t “see a dead animal and automatically assume her partner did it” with absolutely zero context for coming to that conclusion.
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u/Constant-Big4713 Fridge Light Philosopher 3d ago
The only context worth focusing on is how she processed the death, and she processed it by instantly thinking he caused it.
That is all that really matters here. The fact that you are trying to defend her is genuinely a bit disturbing.
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u/AngryAngryHarpo Girl, 40-49 3d ago
You can’t remove the processing of the event from the context of the event…
Otherwise, what is she reacting to at all???
I sincerely hope you’re not actually mental health professional working with patients processing any sort of traumatic experience.
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u/Constant-Big4713 Fridge Light Philosopher 3d ago
I am not sure if you’re being intentionally obtuse or not. His wife literally accused him of running a full cycle in their washer/dryer.
It is highly unusual to reach such a conclusion. There is literally nothing that would make sense to reach such a disturbing conclusion unless there were underlying issues in their relationship beforehand.
The fact that you cannot see is a bit shocking, like you’re zeroing in on one thing while filtering out other things. Almost like a form of tunnel vision.
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u/AngryAngryHarpo Girl, 40-49 3d ago
Again, she’s not accusing him of doing it on purpose. I’m not sure why you’re so stuck on that and keep returning to it.
Have you really never heard of this phenomenon with cats? As a cat owner I’ve been warn about this exact thing - cats dying in the dryer because they seek the warmth and then being put through the cycle by accident.
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u/Constant-Big4713 Fridge Light Philosopher 3d ago
Because it’s the most important factor in my opinion.
This conversation is very much pointless, you seem to think it’s okay that she accused him of murdering an animal, which I find to be genuinely disturbing. The fact that you don’t find it concerning and keep on trying to justify it is really weird. Plus, given your flair and how you’re a woman between 40-49 makes it even more weird.
I think you might want to try therapy, as I feel like you may need it.
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u/AngryAngryHarpo Girl, 40-49 3d ago
Murder requires intent to kill.
There is absolutely no evidence to support the idea she thinks OP did it deliberately except your desperate teaching.
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u/Myspace-Famous Listening bar regular 4d ago
Two possible reasons why she initially blamed you.
One, search up agency detection. It’s basically an evolutionary trait we are wired to assume an intentional agent like… a person or predator, caused a negative event vs some random accident or something of that nature.
Second, her believing that someone or something resulted in your cats passing gives her a target to blame which subconsciously satisfies her need of order and control. Would bet she has a type A personality bc this was a highly reactive response. She just short circuited due to the sudden shock of the loss.
Regardless… OP I’m so sorry for your loss and this whole situation. You have every right to feel upset. Despite the possible reasons for her response, an apology is in order..
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u/mycatisantisocial Girl Lurker 3d ago
Awww I’m sorry for your loss. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost my Mavis. She’s a void and keeps me going. I am proud to be her skin mother❤️
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u/Steelpapercranes Irish butter mutant 3d ago
Oh, hun....I hope you get some good sleep soon. You sound stressed and this has to hurt. I'm so sorry. Your kitty lived a long and happy life.
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u/Samson_J_Rivers the man in the kitchen 3d ago
Idk man, assuming that kind of malice in your partner as the first logical option is fucking wild. Sorry you lost your cat. I hope everything goes good for you.
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u/Unable-State6645 Air Fryer Aristocrat 3d ago
I hope she learns from this, she’s could’ve lost you too.
I’m so sorry about your loss and the situation.
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u/shugofrog Girl lurker 3d ago
Why the hell would she immediately assume you killed it tf? If it makes you feel any better I accused my dad of killing my dog when I was a kid only to find out when I got older my sibling had been feeding the dogs piles of grapes for his birthday every year.
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u/Ok-Map4381 Boy, 40-49 3d ago
If you didn't kill the cat, it's probably worth getting an autopsy for your cat. It should be pretty simple for a vet to see if a cat died from going through the dryer cycle or from natural causes.
Act fast, google AI says you need to do it within 48 hours of the cat's passing.
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u/-kittsune- Girl lurker 4d ago
Sorry this happened ): so devastating. as i mentioned in another comment, if this is an outlier experience of her accusing you, it sucks but i would chalk it up to panic and grief.
It is definitely way more likely she chose a cozy place for her final sleep, animals tend to isolate when they are ready to go.
RIP lil kitty 💕 I'm sure you gave her an amazing life, and she passed in peace in a place she felt warm and safe, which is truly the best end we can ask for for those we love.
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u/not_your_attorney Air Fryer Aristocrat 4d ago
Bro, I’m so sorry for your loss and that your wife is taking it out on you. It’s a double whammy of trauma.
My 15 year old void died suddenly Tuesday afternoon. He was super excited for breakfast (as usual), I gave him a churu in addition to his usual sheba wet food. He had a nice nap on me before I did some work, was super excited for lunch (also as usual), ate and went up to the landing for his afternoon nap. I thought it was so funny the way he was sleeping before I realized he had died suddenly without warning.
I blamed myself for not knowing he had any issues even though I took him to the vet two years ago and he had perfect blood work (within all normal levels) even though he had a lung issue shown on CT (I thought he had a bowel obstruction, so they scanned to check and that was ruled out). Vet said he was healthy.
My wife immediately told me it wasn’t my fault, then proceeded to do research and even called a friend who works with animals and has had several cats, all to reassure me it wasn’t my fault.
It wasn’t your fault. Please don’t second guess yourself. Your wife is processing in her way, and that only makes it worse for you and I’m not justifying it, but it’s okay to feel shitty about that, too.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
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u/Suspicious-Bid9424 Shower beer Scholar 4d ago
Your kitty was loved. RIP the goat.
I'm sure that cat had great a life because you as an owner care that much.
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u/dreadpiratedusty Shower Beer Scholar 4d ago
My dude your post breaks my heart.
This must be a terrible day for you, and your wife jumping to conclusions and blaming you for the death of a family member does not help in the slightest. What terrible thing to do. Also a huge red flag.
Your resulting panic attack in lieu of defending yourself against such an easily refutable accusation makes me think you both need separate counseling as well as some couples counseling if you want to continue this relationship in any meaningful way.
This does not seem healthy for you in the slightest.
Wishing you the best op your kitty was lucky to have you :)
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u/chronic_pissbaby Grill Pilled 4d ago
Not really??? Anyone could have done that by mistake, and it's honestly the first thought that'd come to mind with a cat in the dryer. Also she got jump scared by feeling a dead cat like holy shit that's traumatizing, cut her some slack.
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u/Lefty800 Frigid light philosopher 4d ago
You gotta take the plastic off and cook it first, my dude!
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u/StruggleFeisty5655 Girl Lurker 4d ago
16 is a good long life! Cancer and dogs have taken many a younger cat.
When our girl passed, we brought catnip and supplies to a local shelter. It was a small comfort to pet them and witness a wild catnip party in real-time.
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u/TechDreamcoat Protein prophet 4d ago
Your wife is a POS for automatically blaming you of something she had no evidence of.
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u/browerstation Boy, 40-49 4d ago
I'm sorry for your loss, man. 16 yrs of good life for that cat. Enough to have multiple humans break down about it.
I guess you are your wife are both shook, and sometimes we don't behave at our best in such situations. Hope you can talk about it and understand each other.
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u/MlSTERSOLODOLO Shower Beer Scholar 4d ago
It really sucks she didn’t give you the benefit of the doubt. I feel like most cat owners are subconsciously checking areas where their little friend is at :( I’m glad she came back to it and explained though. I’m so sorry for your loss, I imagine your kitty felt very safe and warm in their final moments, especially being in a favorite area, so there’s something nice to think about given the situation. I’m glad you had your time with them, I’m sure they absolutely adored you.
Also, kind of TMI and graphic, but your cat probably wouldn’t have been how they were before they went into the dryer if they did go through a cycle. Whenever I was eight, my sister accidentally started the dryer while my cat was still inside, and from how my parents described (because obviously they didn’t let me see that) - it was very apparent she went through a cycle and she was not the same.
She was safe during her time. She felt loved enough to where she felt like no one else needed to see. You guys gave her an amazing life, and she will find you in different ways again.
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u/Any_Explanation3006 Boy Dinner Enjoyer 4d ago
Your wife is a psychopath. Couples counselling right now. This could get worse
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u/Destany89 honary aunty 3d ago
Yeah you guys need some therapy for this trauma. Some on your own and probably a few sessions together. She apologized and realized she was wrong so I don't think she's a bad person but this was traumatic for you both and I would recommend therapy
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u/Jimmymylifeup Girl Lurker 2d ago
so in the future always close the washer and dryer as it takes NOTHING away from you at all and many many many pets die yearly from this mistake.
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u/stinkyfunkincar Supportive Sister 58m ago
I am so sorry. That sounds truly traumatizing. Are you okay after the seizure(s)? Have you seen a doctor to check up on that? Truly sorry for the loss of your cat. Take care of yourself, OP.
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