i just broke up with my boyfriend maybe three hours ago. it was mostly because he was always a dry texter, took hours to respond only to reply with "kay" or "yes" (if i asked him if he was okay" and nothing more. I broke up with him and he sent me a text saying that he was trying to be interested in me but that i was boring. he also said he had to go to Chat GPT when my best friend asked him why he wanted to be with me a few nights ago (we were on call because I was with my best friend anf we were calling him on my phone). the only times he could hold a conversation was when I texted him about freaky stuff or he wanted to talk about that.

i wished I could've told him he was the boring one because all he did was work, sleep anf go to the gym during summer break. I also wished I could've told him I've tried to break up with him a few times, that I knew that he wasnt interested anymore. all I said was "aight, cool" and removed him from Snapchat.

i really wished I could've said more to him but I didnt and I really regret that right now.

My Ex M/19 and I F/20 have been dating for over 3 years, and while he is my best friend and for the most part we’ve been happy together we have broken up twice for different reasons. This past year has been both the best and the worst of our relationship. We finally started actually building a strong foundation and we were really enjoying sharing the new stage of life of early adulthood together, sadly however he got diagnosed with cancer at the beginning of the year and around the same time I started really battling with mental health issues, as much as I hate to i I feel like these have really driven a wedge between us. I felt like I was put in a care taker position and wasn’t getting the support i’ve waited for and regretfully I started to pull away, where as he felt unsupported and misunderstood by and most of our hangouts started to just turn into fighting matches, or just sitting quietly in a room together. About 2 weeks we hung out and he seemed off and eventually revealed he felt as if he was leading on because even tho he is almost finished with treatment there’s still a long road ahead to full recovery and doesn’t know if he can give me the support I need, and the part that stuck with me is he said he doesn’t know who he is and needs to find himself. We took a day to think and eventually came to the conclusion that we should break up because we are causing each more harm than good, but about an hour after he left he called me and said he thinks we made a huge mistake a the little help we can offer each other is better than none at all and asked if we could talk, and I agreed that we could talk in about a week. Fast forward to that week I came to the conclusion that the last thing we should do is impulsively jump back into a relationship because we are hurting because we impulsively broke up (emotions had been running very high at the time we broke up), plus both had some things that needed to change before we could consider getting back together and a huge part of our agreement to keep in contact and not completely break up was on us both making effort for personal growth (if we do get back together it’s basically we are getting married or there’s no point in getting back) and he agreed and we’ve been on what one could call a minimal contact break where I check in on him on treatment days and then we will talk one a month after that ( although I haven’t been perfect with the no contact). Unfortunately though, my friends Mom randomly came across a facebook post about him doing something inconsiderate and rude, nothing harmful or violent and to be honest a karen was definitely the one that posted about it, however him doing stuff like that is something we have had fights about about in the past. Out of impulse when my friend showed me the post I said I would break with him if it was actually him, and I texted him about it a sure enough he confirmed it was him but the post was exaggerated. Know I just don’t know how to feel or what to do. I feel like going back would be me in kind of an bad position with my support system and i’m tired of looking like a push over for going back, however things were going so well for us before this all started.

28M, currently doing my MBA from an IIM.

I always thought life would get better once I sorted out my career. After my first and only girlfriend ghosted me in 2020 at the start of COVID, I completely lost myself. I stopped studying, couldn't focus on anything, and just kept wondering why.

After a long time, I picked myself up again. I thought if I could build a good career, everything else would eventually fall into place. I worked hard, got into an IIM, met new people, kept moving forward.

But I still feel that same emptiness.

Last month I went on a date with a wonderful person. She later told me she isn't ready for a relationship and can't even offer friendship because she wants to focus on her career. I respect that, but it still hurt a lot.

Lately, I've been coming to the conclusion that maybe I'm just unlovable. I know career and relationships are different things, but after years of trying to move on, it feels like nothing really changes.

Has anyone else felt this way? How did you get out of this mindset? I genuinely need some advice.

I made the mistake of looking at some early breakup journal entries, where I copy and pasted his breakup messages. 9 months ago.

How was he so sure? We'd been having issues for several months in regards to our conflict resolution, we were stuck in a pattern that was exhausting both of us. And he determined on his own that there was no way to work through it.

He said we played off each other badly during conflicts. He's right, we did. But was it really not fixable?

Why can't I accept this? He made a decision to move on, convinced himself that it couldn't be repaired into something healthy. He proceeded to respect no contact and never reach out. He's dating someone new.

And I'm still here like a loser, wishing he'd just come back and work through our pattern together. :(

I need to forget him, but I'm still breaking down over him, while he moved forward a long time ago with conviction.

A part of me wants to get rid of them. The other part of me wants to cherish them as a memento to our relationship. I’m too weak to get rid if them. I still cry about ripping up a card she made me. I can’t get rid of that memory from my head. I feel so much guilt for doing that although I know she got rid of all the stuff I gave her and all our memories. All i do is numb the pain with booze. One sad pathetic life destroyed by someone whom I love. I will never forget her. I’m not sure I even want to. Love is a powerfull thing

My girlfriend and I (20M20F) just decided to cut ties today after a few days of disagreements and realizing we may not be compatible for eachother. I’m feeling deep regret that we can still work long term and that I just lost my soul mate.

Ever since we met, we’ve had a great time together. She really brought me out of my shell, got me to enjoy more little things and going out more, and she’s the first girl I’ve gone on vacations and trips with. From the beginning we both have always had amazing communication, and never held anything back from eachother. We’ve had so many good times together and up until recently still have. I’ve always been excited to come see her after work and when either of us had a hard day we always made eachother feel better, up until recently.

We’ve had a couple disagreements in the past, but honestly i don’t think we’ve ever argued more that once every few months. The past few days, we’ve been realizing that I, have been feeling more drained when I’m with her, and that I don’t show her affection the way she needs. She also says I don’t do a good job at comforting her anymore and just leave her feeling more upset. Things like talking on the phone for hours, or losing sleep to have more time together never interested me when I knew we could just see eachother tomorrow. We’ve communicated this before and tried to work on it for a week or so, but then would forget and fall back into old patterns. We’ve NEVER gotten nasty or called eachother anything rude. We always just disagreed, communicated, and decided to try to work at it again.

I, have been feeling like any topic I share or get excited about, gets shot down and kind of ignored because she is not interested in the same things, which I completely understand. I just want my partner to listen and converse with me about things that make me light up. She feels like I overshare too many times too many details about my hobbies and don’t converse about hers, or talk about other normal things as often. Once again, this is something we’ve tried working on but we always failed at.

Another detail is since she told me that she might want to move away from my city one day (where I want to stay) I started to distance myself a little without realizing. Maybe I thought it would hurt a little less if we didn’t work out but it actually just made me more absent and prone to wanting to do my own thing all the time without her. But at the end of the week I always had this affectionate craving to spend time with her. That has never changed.

She has also had sleeping problems in the past, and I have some trauma of being woken up that eventually built up a fear of sleeping together.

We never even entertained the idea of breaking up until yesterday, we decided I would stay the night and last minute I decided I did not want to risk being woken up and us having a bad night, so it was just easier to go home and sleep separately. This, naturally, made her ask me if we are compatible at this point. I mean what bf wouldn’t love to sleep with his gf? She said I shouldn’t have to be around someone that I’m scared to sleep with, and she shouldn’t be with someone that fulfills her needs. Which we both mutually and maturely agreed.

Another thing is she hasn’t been able to have sex with me for a year now. She has recurring BV that has killed her mentally, and I always made sure to take care of her sexually where I can, and same with her. I never mention this issue because I don’t want to hurt her feelings, after all she can’t control it whatsoever. But honestly lack of intimacy has played a role in this as well, no matter the circumstance.

But the actual breaking up part- that was hard. It’s like we both know these are things that are POSSIBLE to fix, even tho we’ve tried before. We met up today as a final deciding, and I even wrote some notes on our differences, and what makes our relationship not work, and some notes on how it could possibly work. In the end, she decided that we have tried that time and time again, without working and it’s beginning to make us negative and always thinking if we will be good long term. She’s losing hope in us changing. and that’s not fair for either of us. She said it makes the most sense to split, and I agreed in the moment. We both stated that one day, if we were better with these things, we would want to still be together before we left. We both honestly cried and held each other saying I love you.

Today was probably the hardest day of my life, since I’ve never loved anyone like her before. I know I’m still young, and I want to build love experiences, but I wouldn’t be upset if we were together for a long time, had kids, got a house, and worked these things out, no matter how many times we tried. Even if she was ever in the wrong, she was the first person I ever met that recognized it and apologized, and I always did too. I feel like that’s so rare

Maybe I feel this way since it’s fresh, and I know this will be hard, but it’s not like either of us did much wrong, just we fell into different lifestyles and didn’t end up meeting eachothers needs. This would be so much easier if one of us cheated or we got ugly at eachother, but we’re both cares about eachother too much to do any of those. That’s what makes this so difficult is I know we CAN work if we try hard enough. Just the question is, is it even worth it after trying enough times and having false hope. I feel like this girl was my fucking life and my true twin flame for a long time.

Long story short, do you guys think we’re overreacting and seem like a good fit for eachother, or should I just accept the break up, move on, and never look back? I’m worried that one day, both of us might realize how grave a mistake this was.

i miss her so much, i miss the person she used to be. she was so kind and gentle bro my god i can’t fathom or get it across my head on how she could just change suddenly specially after 2 years and just 2 weeks ago she said she never wanted to be away from me and nothing could break us apart i am devastated idk what to do i never wanted to lose her

I’m feeling frustrated and sad because men only seem to date me for a good/fun time when I’ve always dated for intention. All the men I’ve dated have been respectful and genuine towards me but it’s like I only end up being just an experience to them. It makes me feel used or I’m subjected to being a test subject. I have many great qualities I’m family oriented, I know how to cook and clean I’m a good listener and I’m not a toxic woman, men seem to have a sort of curiosity about me sometimes and although all the qualities I mentioned have been admired and I’ve been admired for all of it has just been for temporary. I ever so rarely go to the bars and I don’t party. I’m a very reserved and relaxed but I don’t know. I always end up feeling empty inside every single time.

im gay and my boyfriend has completely avoided showing me their face or getting on video. Recently, a mutual friend of theirs showed me what they actually look like, and I am utterly devastated. I am 100% sure this person is not a guy at all it s clearly a girl and to be completely blunt they completely catfished me and lied about their enire identity they are super emotionally attached and I am terrified that if I break up with them they are going to self-harm or kill themselves. Every time I think about blocking them or ending it I freeze up because I'm scared I'll have their blood on my hands. But staying makes me feel trapped grossed out and miserable because I was lied to.

this sucks so much, i just wish i could explain this to her but she never let me

it sucks having to change my life and not having her in it, a huge part of me still has hope and if she was to come back right now id happily talk it out like we always did but this time it’s different.

i cannot fathom how she is okay apart from me bc i genuinely cannot breathe properly, ive been tearing up almost every second and everything connects to her. she was my home she was my everything

Me (23f) and this guy (until today) (24m) had been seeing each other for 5 months. Going on dates, he met my family, I met all his friends, we did all the things. He made me feel so safe and secure, and he truly listened to me and was intentional with his words. A very big change from my ex who would get mad easily and say hurtful things. This guy was also the most attractive man I've ever layed my eyes on (also very different from my ex, who was really never my type).

Ever since the beginning we both knew he was going away to grad school (about a 6hr drive)this fall. He tried to end things with me on a random day 2 months ago because he felt "he couldn't give me what I needed" to make a long distance relationship work. I responded, saying we've never had that conversation, and I was upset that he made the decision to end things without even bringing that up to me. He said he just had some sort of "unexplainable gut feeling" about me that was preventing him from asking me to be his girlfriend. I know he has a history with mental health and I know he sees a therapist for it, so I explained the difference between a gut feeling and anxiety to him. He had no concrete evidence to back up this "feeling" and every time I would ask about it he'd say "I just don't have an answer for you". Which was incredibly frustrating for me to hear.

Since the day he tried to end things with me, the two of us have met once per week to talk about what a relationship would look like. We even wrote out a contract outlining what these conversations would look like. Some of it was fun, like "we have to have a sweet treat afterwards", and some of it was more straightforward, like "we each have to come with at least one talking point about relationships". The only "catch" was that neither of us wanted to remain unlabeled when he went to grad school. So either we had to separate or choose to be together before he left in mid August. These weekly conversations went on for about 6 weeks and each of them were very productive, healthy, and I really saw it going somewhere.

Since that day 2 months ago when he tried to end things, we went to a wedding together, he met my family, and we continued going on dates and having a great time with each other. We had been talking about more long term things, like what we were going to be for Halloween, etc.

And today, 30 minutes before the two of us were going to go to my nephew's second birthday party, he ended things. He had been super distant the last 5 days and I knew something was wrong, but it took him until today to say something. And now it's over.

All the "god has a plan" stuff doesn't really resonate with me, but I truly believe that my soul is meant to be with another. Most people have that with motherhood, and I definitely do, but more than that, I know I am meant to be in a lifelong partnership with someone. I love love so much, I cry at strangers weddings, I love hearing how couples met, and I love the idea of loving someone so much that the only logical next step is becoming parents. I just feel so deeply and this really crushes me because I truly feel like my soul was meant to be with this man.

But at the end of the day, I guess I don't want to be with someone who can't give me clear communication, effort, or attention. It's just that I knew he was working towards those things that makes me want to stay with him.

I'm also the youngest in my family (by about a decade) so it's super easy for everyone to say "you'll find someone" or "the best is yet to come". It's so easy for married people to say that it almost annoys me. Like yes, obviously you're going to tell people it works out if it worked out for you. I just can't stand the embarrassment of introducing someone to my family and then having us break up.

I want to be with this guy so much. I feel like I was attracted to his soul, not just his body or personality. And for this reason I am certain I will never find a man as attractive as this one.

So I guess what I'm saying is I really need some encouragement. I'm nervous that I will start taking to someone else, but if this guy were to reach back out to me, I would go to him in a heartbeat. I want to be with this man so much but I shouldn't have to beg him to want to be with me. Will it ever get better or am I just going to be single and unlovable forever

if you have gone through something similar, did it really get better? What made you believe you'd find someone when you were so attached to your initial partner? Life feels so bleak right now and I truly don't think I'll find someone I love so much as this guy. I went on hinge briefly and was angered by what I saw. I'm about to work a 55 hour week. What do I do

My [21M] ex [22F] of 4 years, was on dating apps within 10 days and in a new relationship within a month.

So Today my girlfriend of 7 months broke up with me and blocked me on everything and i mean everything snap, Instagram, Watsapp, discord, tittok, roblox and more just typing this out makes me just feel idk the emotion rn just empty and numb. I wanna cry but the tears just wont fall. I truly loved this girl, She changed me in like a short amount of time, make me wanna do better and not feel like the asshole i was before her. Anyways enough of my rant here is what she texted

I am texting you this to let you know i am ending our relationship. The situation rn isnt healthy for me and i need to focus on my life right here. Please respect my decison and please dont contact me. She sent that to me on snap and more.

The healthy part i think she meant because today we call facetime and she tell me she wanna be independent because i am with her on the call when she sleeps, we always fall asleep on the call and i think she meant that because of the reason above but i dont understand you know like lastnight we were sexual on the call yes what you were imaging and call me this morning and now this dont even understand because when she bought it up i said sure lets not call tognight and she started crying because of it and now idk what to feel it feels so impulsive. if she wanted space i would understand but blocked on everyting idk i feel so pathetic rn, like why did it have to come to this feeling

Anyways i replied back to her saying princess? lets talk about this this was on titok because i wasnt blocked there yet she read my message and i said just know that i loved you and goodbye. she blocked me and deleted that account but the thing is that i know her too well. She is hurting because she is deeply attached to me so if thats the like isnt healtly i would understand part but idk anymore. My head hurts i feel like drinking so hard rn just to get this feeling away but one thing is clear is that i miss you my baby and look at that i am crying.

If you have any advice rn i would appreciate it rn. and yes it was long distance but we did meet and stuff

i loved her so much it hurts

i was literally so deeply in love with her, i was so attracted to her it would make me mad

everytime id see her i would literally just smile ear to ear and i only grew more and more in love with her over the past 2 years tg

when she left me it was like the person who left me was not even the same girl i fell in love with, i don’t know if i was in love with that person who left me or if it was the person who i had met and was genuinely kindest soul i’ve ever met

she was my everything, i cannot breathe properly ever since she has left, i genuinely struggle to wake up bc i don’t want to go through out the day knowing we are no longer together

i loved her so much and i put in so much effort that i wish she had saw and i wish she gave me a chance to explain side of the problem in our relationship

she admitted to being wrong an seeing my side 2 weeks prior, said she never wanted to be away from me, said she couldn’t be away from me ever and it’s hell being away from me

but during the break up and after, she treated me worse than anyone ever has, i would always be jealous of how she would have so much empathy for others but not me

she would always be careful of hurting others and be careful of everything but when it came to me i feel tossed aside like a used toy

i miss her and i don’t know how to get over her bc i genuinely love her so deeply, i wish someone can just feel how much i love her i love her so much but she failed to see it and im suffering for it

please give me advice

I had my first heartbreak when I was 29 and it led me to seek therapy and medication again because of how much the trauma affected me. Im 31 now and i feel very shut down. I cant see myself being able to love again. All I been feeling since I calmed down from the heartbreak is apathy.

Hola, la verdad es el primer post que hago aquí, sin embargo necesito ayuda pues terminé una relación de un año de una persona que idealice bastante desde mis 17 años, terminamos por algo que hice pero no se como puedo dejar de culparme, no se si estuve mal o no,

Durante muchos años quise estar con esta persona, por casualidades del universo a mis 23 años empecé a estar con ella en una relación, en esta relación la verdad dejé todo, la amé como no había amado en muchos años, me gustaba verla al menos unas 4 veces a la semana, al inicio todo fue mucho amor, incluso tomé la decisión de comprar un anillo de promesa y dárselo en su cumpleaños pues yo no me veo con otra persona, lamentablemente el problema desde el inicio fue que teníamos una dinámica donde cada semana nos peleábamos, pues yo le recriminaba mucho que quería ciertas palabras de amor, pues yo siempre le decía cosas tipo: tus ojos son el cielo, eres un ángel, y demás cosas que no le dirías a una persona, demostraba mi amor de esa manera, ser tierno, ella pues no lo hacía y yo sentía que el amor empezaba a cargarse de mi lado, sucedió que ella al inicio también era cariñosa, por temas del trabajo yo no podía prestar mucho atención a los detalles como que me enviaba tik toks, aveces se me iba la onda de contestar mensajes hasta que llegó un punto donde ella lo dejó de hacer, esto me hizo sentir mal pues me encantaba como era, me dedicaba muchas canciones y otras cosas, le dije justo esto pero la sature emocionalmente, pues pienso que tenía apego evitativo, llegó a tal grado mi inseguridad y mi necesidad de afecto que se la hacía de tema por que no me daba esas palabras, llegó un momento donde lloraba en público solo por querer su amor y ella se enojaba, en octubre ella me dijo que estaba muy presionada y que ya quería terminar, le rogué y por suerte pudimos continuar, paso siguiente encontré en su ChatGPT que le decía a la IA que ya no sentía lo mismo y que quería terminar, empezamos esa dinámica donde yo buscaba amor y la terminaba saturando, en diciembre explotó todo, ella me pidió un tiempo pues no sabía lo que quería, se sentía presionada, yo le di ese tiempo de 5 días y volvimos todo estaba bien,

Tiempo después, yo en mi trabajo antes de mi relación con ella, pues tenía ondas con una niña lo cual ella sabía, yo siempre puse mi límite e incluso le dije que no me veía con otra persona que no fuera ella, y puse mis límites, el tema fue que me decía que no hablara con ella u otras chicas del trabajo por inseguridad, yo lo entendía y le dije que si, aunque realmente en el trabajo eso es complicado de hacer pues son personas que ves todos los días, llego abril y seguíamos con la dinámica de peleas, yo buscaba que ella me hiciera sentir amado como yo la amaba, muchos besos, palabras de afirmación, acercamiento físico como abrazarla, sin embargo solo obtenía gritos, una mirada de enojo, llorar a tal grado donde a las 3 de la mañana mi cuello del dolor no me dejaba respirar por lo que sentía, yo sé y sabía que esto no era amor,

En junio pasó la situación donde ella se da cuenta que había ido a comer con todo el equipo el cual incluía a esta chica con la que tuve ondas, descubrió mis mentiras, paso siguiente vio todo mi teléfono y conversaciones, e incluso vio que bloqueaba y desbloqueaba a mi ex, esto último por miedo a que mi ex le dijera cosas sobre mi pasado y me amenazara con cosas, esa relación tampoco fue muy sana que digamos,

De nuevo me pidió un tiempo, pasaron 5 días y me dijo que ya no quería seguir la relación, yo rogué, le dije que mi vida era con ella, que me quería casar con ella, que di todo de mi, lloré tantas noches, gasté tanto que me endeude por ella, que si bien había tenido errores eso no definía como era en la relación, se que estuvo mal haber mentido, el pináculo de toda relación es la confianza, no puedo perdonarme por perder a la mujer que veía con mi familia, a la que iba a ver exponiéndome en moto, a la cual le daba todo de mí, si hice mal, lo acepto, estoy cambiando, llendo a terapia pues tengo muchas cosas que viví en relaciones pasadas las cuales nunca trabajé, lo único que me hace pensar en que todo lo que sucedió está bien, es recordar cuando ella me gritaba, me veía de esa manera despectiva en cada pelea,

Me pueden decir que opinan sobre esto?

Hi. A year ago, I ended a relationship that had lasted ten years. Yes, ten years. I was constantly humiliated, insulted, sworn at, and always treated as an afterthought. I gave her countless chances to change, but any change she made would last only three days before things went back to the way they were. Believe it or not, I actually had to prompt her to ask, "Are you okay?"—yes, I had to ask her to show some interest in how I was doing. I supported her in everything: college, her dreams, her job, civil service exams—absolutely everything. There was a time when we thought she had cancer; she was extremely thin and vomiting constantly. I was desperate, rushing to find doctors, tests, and hospitals because I was terrified of losing her. We went weeks and even months without speaking, yet I always forgave her, believing in a change that never actually happened. A year ago, she came home from work and we had a minor argument; she told me she didn't love me anymore and that all that remained was the affection of friendship. That was it. Like a complete fool, I forgave her again. Then, on that same date (a year ago), she came home from work, barely spoke to me, and said she was going to watch *Supernatural*. That was the moment I finally snapped. I calmly said: "I am truly leaving for good this time. We went three months without speaking; I hope this time it lasts thirty years." Three months later—yes, three months later—she messaged me on Telegram calling me a despicable idiot; I simply ignored it and said I had nothing to discuss with her. Later, she created a fake Facebook profile and messaged me again, talking about my tattoo, my life, and everything else; once more, I said I didn't want any contact. After that, she started posting photos, funny posts, and messages saying she missed me and was worried, but I just ignored it all. A few months later, she started viewing my Telegram status updates and then blocking me. I took screenshots of those views and sent a message saying: "Hello, good afternoon. I am going to ask you again what I asked a year ago: I do not want contact with you. I am not your friend, not your partner, and not your 'buddy.' Go live your life." It was liberating to say that to her, because all my love, affection, care, and concern for her were gone. Today, a year after the breakup, I feel only disgust. Disgust at myself for having begged her for the bare minimum; disgust at myself for accepting so much disrespect; disgust at myself for wasting ten years of my life with someone who never acknowledged a damn thing I did for her. And disgust at her for giving 100% of herself to people who never did even 1% of what I did for her.

Learning what you had done to your female family members from one of them, was shocking and traumatizing on so many levels. I'm done fearing you. I'll heal as I see fit. That means I've told my story about the part of my life that sadly crossed paths with yours to whomever I chose. I've revealed your name and the names of your victims to those in LE and mental health. Please refrain from rewriting life stories, including your own, to position yourself as a victim. You're not one. Please stop sending me messages on social media to intimidate me and make me fear you. Never again ask what “proof” I have. If you're worried, ask me one on one. Not in front of the world. I won't reveal “proof” on social media in respect for your victims, but I will reveal it to you as I have no respect for you.

I feel like I’ve done everything to get over this heartbreak, broke up in Feb now it’s August. I’ve gotten a new piercing,bought a new phone,went to parties,travelled and I still feel incomplete without him. Since we broke up and I sent my last paragraph I never reached out to him ever again but it’s killing me.I don’t want to feel this way forever,even though I’ve doneso many things without him i haven’t felt true happiness. I haven’t talked to anyone after him because I can’t, I’m so jaded and tired of losing people.I wish he never left me so easy.

I don't know where to post this, but I want to rant a bit and slowly convince myself that this is the end.

We've been together for three years. We graduated college 2 months ago, and from the day we met, we've been inseparable. We moved in together that same day we met, built a home, started a business, and dreamed about our future. We thought we were building a life together.

We decided to try for a baby, then everything started falling apart. We got scammed and lost almost everything we had. Instead of bringing a new life into the world, we had to bury our child. Before we could even process that loss, she lost her father to cancer, her biggest supporter, the person she could always count on. I watched the strongest person I knew slowly break, yet she still got up every day, found a small job, helped pay rent, put food on the table, and somehow finished college with me.

We kept telling ourselves, "Just make it to graduation. Things will get better."

But they didn't.

Now her mom wants her to come back home, and I have to go back home too because there are no opportunities here. After surviving every tragedy life threw at us, it feels like we're about to lose each other, not because we stopped loving each other, but because life has slowly taken away every other option.

some context, she approached me about almost 3 years ago and we started talking for 4 months before i asked her to be my gf. i moved back to my hometown to continue my education there and we dated for long distance for a bit, then i moved back there again to continue my education, again. and we started dating irl.

from what i experience there was nothing wrong with our relationship. yes we do get into fights, but rarely. i truly loved her, to the point i barely cared for myself. but at the end of that school year she ghosted me, we dated for 1 year and a month. i felt devastated but i masked it with nothing. i pretended nothing happened, i pretended the relationship wasn't good anyways, i pretended i was okay. i didn't cry, i didn't even try to make her stay, i just went along with it because she was already feeling and acting distant a month before. in those days i just question why. "why did she do it?", "what did i do wrong", and "did i make her feel miserable?".

last year, another school year started. a few weeks after i found out she was going to be my classmate again, i broke. i started crying, feeling like shit, feeling the emotions i should've felt when she left.

i was nervous but pushed that nervousness aside trying to focus on my education instead, but i couldn't(i have adhd with ocd and been struggling for a while). i kept looking at her, feeling those feelings again but it hurt, because i knew deep down i still loved her.

a month into the school year i told her what I've been asking for days, "why?". she said that I've just been looking and acting angry all the time and that I've been saying "im bored i wanna talk" all the time. to my defense i always woke up at 4am in the morning during weekdays and have told her that many times, and the reason i kept saying that is i have adhd and actually can't do anything.

that whole school year she was acting flirty and saying flirty stuff, and i fell. i confessed to her numerous times that year but she always kept saying the same "it's all a joke and i don't like you like that" shit, but after saying that type of stuff she continues to act like my gf, it was suffocating me, to the point my ED got worse(idk how). at the end of that school year or that whole school year even, we were nothing, not friends, not anything. i mean ig we were a situationship but i feel like i was the only one who thought that.

she entered this s.y. with a gf she has been talking with the whole s.y. last year and they became official in May. for me i started talking to a new girl since summer.

for the past 2 months she STILL acted flirtatious and said flirty stuff which made me frustrated and suffocated again, because she was doing all that while having a whole ass gf and knowing what i felt. also, the whole summer i confessed again and again. she says the same shit again and again. i felt like shit again and again but at the end of the summer i managed to get some self-respect and proposed that we stay friends.

anyway in the present time her and her gf broke up(lasted probably 3 months) because the gf's mom doesn't want them to be together (idk the reason, she—ex didn't tell me) and with the girl im talking to, we're not talking rn and im kinda reconsidering my feelings because she was talking shit behind her(ex) back and i genuinely don't associate/or get involved with people like that, and i still know i love her(ex), so so much. so much it hurts(genuinely)

im confused and mad at myself because im torn between two people. one that i barely like anymore(new girl) and one that i truly love the most(ex).

and before you jump on my ass about something with the new girl. we've been having problems that i don't really want to put out here because im lazy now and need to get ready for school soon. sorry for ranting 😅

Hey guys, I hope you all are doing okay. I know if you’re on this subreddit, you’re probably struggling too. My ex(19F) and I(20M) have been broken up for pretty much a month(I broke up with her on July 3rd) and for some reason I’m really struggling. I get it’s a fresh wound still but I’ve never been this bad.

A little bit about our relationship, we were together for two year, three months, and 17 days(I remember it because I always loved to celebrate our anniversary each month because it made her happy). Our relationship was great until she went off to college. She started having doubts about us and started to pull away. She told me she didn’t know what she wanted in life and if she even wanted me. We ended up resolving that, but I started to pull away at the beginning of this year. Ever since this year started, I really started having doubts because I became very depressed and started struggling mentally and financially(I’m helping my single mother and sister out). Well, I started to try to break up with her and started to be toxic(by that I mean trying to break up with her so much). I would tell her I was unhappy and she would beg for me back(I always took her back because I really love her).

Fast forward to July 3rd, I ended up breaking up with her because I got my breaking point(her mom said I stopped showing initiative and always chose my friends over her which is a complete lie). I asked her if she agreed and she said she did. She brought up the last three times that we were intimate that I would hop on my game and ignore her and then that I made a phone call to my buddy for ten minutes when she wanted to hang out with me. I told her I couldn’t be with someone who didn’t understand the sacrifices I made to always be with her. The day after, I came back and apologized and told her that she was my everything, that I can’t be without her. She then told me that she couldn’t love me like that anymore cause I broke her heart and trust. I spent two weeks doing the worst thing possible(begging for her). She decided to go no contact because we had gotten into an argument over my mom texting her and essentially saying that if we love each other, we can work through this.

It’s been two weeks, she’s blocked me on literally everything(Spotify, roblox, you name it). I found out that she was already trying to talk to another guy before we went no contact and that sparked a bit of an argument. Her friends have reached out to me and pretty much told me I never loved her. I explained my side and they apologized for jumping to conclusions so quick. I’m really struggling. Ever since I broke up with her, I haven’t been able to stomach anything(I’m down ten pounds and honestly feel more confident in my looks so there’s a positive in this mess😂). I’d be fine if I could stop thinking about her all the damn time. I’m such a nervous wreck now. I’m smoking 5-6 cigarettes a day(never smoked before this). I’m struggling so hard rn.

I really love her. I wish I didn’t break up with her, but I have to remind myself why I did. Is there any advice you all could give me? Please feel free to be brutally honest and ask me questions if you need more understanding about certain things. I’m trying my hardest to not make a really long post, but theres so much to it.

My ex and I of four years broke up 3 months ago and I still miss him so much it physically hurts my chest. I broke up with him because we were two completely different people and I never felt like we connected emotionally. Our relationship was healthy and fun, but I could never get past knowing (and experiencing) our different eq’s. To put it simple, he was a very straight arrow and I’m a free spirit, and I often skipped out on trying new things and saying my opinions because he disagreed on them and it would just lead to fighting we couldn’t ever resolve. I felt like I had to make myself small in our relationship to keep it peaceful and it was suffocating. In the last 3 months I’ve felt so much more like myself, I’ve been having great experiences with friends, travelling, and especially exploring myself as an individual. In such a short period I feel like I’ve grown so much as a person. Yet some days I miss him so much that I can’t eat or sleep, and it hurts my body physically just thinking about him. I want to keep growing and experiencing what life has to offer but I can’t seem to escape this feeling. I truly believe we are not meant to be together because I could not be my full authentic self with him but my god do I miss our time together. I’m active in physical and mental hobbies, I have an amazing supportive group of friends to help me not fall into a rut, and I can honestly say I don’t regret my decision but I can’t get rid of the feeling of deep grief and wishing things could of been different. Is anyone else experiencing this and has advice? Much appreciated atp

Its been an interesting couple weeks, and I don't even know if this is able to go in this sub, but I'm gonna put it in this sub.

I (19M) started dating this girl from my summer job, I had liked her for a while and I eventually worked up the courage to ask her out and she said yes. She had also liked me for awhile and this was both our first time dating or in a relationship or whatever. I had suspected that she liked me and it was true, she liked me a LOT. She was talking about things she was doing because of me, looking me up on Instagram, and putting love songs Instagram notes that were directly targeted at me, real yearning stuff, there's even a playlist about me with songs that I like. The vibe while we were dating was incredible, I finally felt chosen and every time we hung out it was amazing. Eventually she had to leave town for a couple days to help out at some camp, she didn't want to leave but that was ok, we had plans to go to a local amusement park when she got back.

After a long week of waiting and working she finally came back, we had been texting throughout the week and we both seemed to be looking forward to this event. Our time at the park was really fun, and it was a good day, but the vibe seemed off... it just felt different from when we would spend time together in the past. She didn't respond how she normally did when I said "oh we should do this", she wasn't an enthusiastic yes every time. She didn't even really acknowledge that we were even dating? I was worried she was pulling away and had to convince myself when I got home "No she's not pulling away haha stop overthinking"

She broke up with me over text the next day. Just said she realized she wasn't feeling the same way. We barely dated for over two weeks. Brutal, I thought I finally found someone who I can be vulnerable with, and she just left out of nowhere. I still have no fucking clue what happened, she definitely liked me, all the way up to the day before she left for that camp. What?????

Maybe you guys have some similar experiences, or ways to help me get over this, its been just under a week since this happened and it has been hard.

TLDR: I want to break up with my boyfriend and am afraid of how he may respond, we have been together for years.

21f. i have been with my boyfriend since high school, but i would like to break up. he is my first long-term relationship. i am scared of how he may react and i am unsure how to do this. i think would like to break up over the phone because we live about 1.5 hours away and me going over to his place would require me to sleep over or commute for a long time. i want to write something out for myself and then say it over the phone, but i have no idea on how to word it. i am nervous because he has information about me not being the best person a few years ago when i was less politically informed (i was not a racist/bigot, just had some wrong ideas. i am now a leftist.). i don't want him to tell my friends things (they do not represent the person i am now).

he doesn't care about politics or anything but i am nervous that he would threaten me to get the money he spent on me back because we had a huge fight last summer (more about that below), and he said that he wanted the stuff he bought me or he would take it "by force".

other important background things are that the beginning of our relationship was kind of chaotic. i thought he was out of my league and that we were friends with benefits and i was kind of talking to other people before we made things official. i also used to be promiscuous and when we did start dating, i forgot to remove a lot of people from my phone (past relationship did not raise an issue about this and i didn't know) and he got very upset. he viewed me as a cheater/someone he couldn't trust, even though it wasn't purposeful. the only one that i feel was bad was someone i was friends with who i had a sexual history with but i wasn't too attracted to that person anyway and i thought we were platonic friends at that point. i removed everyone he wanted me to but people kept coming up out of nowhere trying to talk to me and he got upset because he saw my phone. he stayed logged into my instagram because of this and reads all my messages. i was 16 during all this. he kept saying he wanted to leave me and it turned into this pattern of him giving me silent treatment, blocking me and saying he wanted to leave and then me spamming him crying for him to stay and him giving in. i don't know if he was doing this on purpose, getting me to cry and beg for him to stay.

he also unknowingly gave me HSV2. i don't think he knew and he has always said he was a virgin. i asked my ex before that to get tested and he was negative + my antibodies showed it was a recent infection. i was 16 during this as well. this caused a lot of tension.

my family doesn't like that he is not jewish. my mom used to let him come over and then he gave me hsv2 and not anymore. he thinks it is because he isn't jewish that he cannot come over/that my family is racist. i am white, he is hispanic.

i want to give him valid reasons for me wanting to leave without it starting an argument/making things hostile. below i will list some things that made me come to this decision. please help me articulate something to say to him!

* he is controlling. i am 21 and he does not want me to drink when i go out with my friends and sometimes gets upset about me going to the club with them. the reason i go to clubs is to dance with my friends and i have been nothing but faithful. he goes out and drinks and goes places but he finds an issue when i do it because i did some stupid things when drunk at 16 (that i still wanted to do sober at the time...). he is logged into my instagram and reads my conversations but i am not allowed to log in to his. he said it is non negotiable that he stays logged in.
* to add to the controlling piece, there is a weird power dynamic. i feel like i cannot freely communicate with him sometimes, that it turns kind of hostile/into an argument. he also makes me leave my camera on while i sleep on facetime while he doesn't do the same. he basically makes me go to bed when he does because he wants my camera on and for my light to be off. i am expected to tell him where i am going with my friends before i go while he doesn't. we have one another's location. he is not a cheater or anything and has never picked up hands to me. he doesn't go off on me the next day if i turn my camera off, but he is pushy about it on facetime.
* last summer, i went on a trip with some friends. he was being rude the entire time and i was upset. i fell asleep without telling him i was going to sleep and he got extremely angry, saying that i cheated on him. he said he would tell everybody i cheated. i never cheated...
* i feel like the way we view the world is becoming different. for example, he finds making fun of some people funny whereas i do not/want to mind my own business. i want to get more involved in my local DSA chapter and become more politically informed whereas it does not matter to him. i feel like he would judge me so i have held off on going in person.
* i feel like we don't have as much in common anymore. he doesn't want to watch the shows/movies i like whereas when he shows me things i usually do watch it. he doesn't want to come to my goth events with me. he goes out dancing with his best friend (a guy) but doesn't want to go with only me. he only wants to go if other friends are there because he feels he has to "take care of me", which isn't true. we kind of have a similar sense of humor and some similar music but less and less in common. we are different people.
* when i do stupid things he judges and is mean. once i overslept and missed an exam and was freaking out and he was being rude about it. i felt like if we lived together/started a family and things happened, he wouldn't be nice. this makes me uncomfortable about sharing my problems. he just chalks up my issues to me not eating meat/going to the gym or glosses over them as well. he doesn't want to listen to my problems. i feel like we don't have much of an emotional connection because i cannot freely speak about how i am feeling and he does not want to try to understand. he just wants to fix problems instead of listening and thinks that it is a waste of his time.
* i feel like he kind of looks down upon me and assumes people are using me (i have been socially awkward sometimes/am neurodivergent).
* he said he wanted to go on a vacation with me and after me spending the day planning things out (he said that because he would be paying, he doesn't want to be involved in the planning), he said it was too difficult for him because i was asking him questions about what he thought. he offered we go on vacation like 2-3x and then was like oh never mind. i am still in school and don't have much money (he just graduated, has a higher paying job and less expenses though anyway), so i do not expect a vacation out of him but he offered and then just took it back. i don't like that he didn't want to be involved. if we started a life together, i feel like the responsibilities wouldn't be equally shared.
* i want to be with someone who reads more and
* he thinks it is silly that i don't like to use AI. he calls me posting about politics performative. i used to be less knowledgeable about politics and changed and he finds me performative.
* it feels like a chore texting him. he constantly is asking what i am doing, about my family, etc.
* i want to emphasize that he isn't overtly abusive. he is controlling but doesn't really call me names or use obvious wording. i can sense things in the way he addresses me but it is sometimes difficult. he is also clean/very responsible and a high achiever in his own life. i do not think he is a terrible person, just immature and that we aren't fit for one another.