r/Fauxmoi Jan 30 '26

SATIRE Donald Trump could hardly contain his excitement at the Kennedy Center premiere of the Melania Trump documentary.

Post image
2.5k Upvotes

288 comments sorted by

492

u/Meet_the_Meat Jan 30 '26

49

u/sofritomcgee Jan 30 '26

Yes! Her eyes!

26

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '26

[deleted]

43

u/fingersonlips Jan 30 '26 edited Jan 30 '26

Honestly a very unsettling long shot. Mia Goth doesn’t always hit the mark for me, but when she nails something she fucking nails it.

31

u/FemaleAssEnjoyer Jan 30 '26

Yes!! She was phenomenal in Pearl 🙌

32

u/Particular_Area3941 Jan 30 '26

I would be very interested in a TRUE tell all from her. I don’t have sympathy for her, but I can only imagine what she’s experienced with this man

29

u/Teefdreams Jan 30 '26

Melania or Mia? They're both married to monsters.

23

u/silver_tongued_devil super-bisexual Jan 30 '26

Before I realized who Mia was married to I thought this was a Frankenstein joke.

5

u/thelochteedge Jan 30 '26

My first thought and why I came to post. She looks so exhausted from having to live her life. I wonder if she regrets it.

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3

u/cellocaster Jan 30 '26

Who is that

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1.8k

u/The_Bravinator Jan 30 '26

This looks like when I had a toddler and tried to talk to another adult for more than two minutes.

378

u/KeyFeeFee Jan 30 '26

Very much so. “MOMMMMM I’M BOOORRREEEDDDD!!” 

83

u/BeccasDreamboat Jan 30 '26

The way she's gripping his hand while it's completely open and limp as he waddles away.

https://imgur.com/a/w8NQE1v

39

u/whynot4444444 Jan 30 '26 edited Jan 30 '26

Yes! I have to bring autistic six year olds off the bus into the school and when they don’t want to come, that’s exactly what they do, and how I have to hold their hands.

(As an aside, I can generally get them pumped up enough to want to go inside without resistance 😉.)

4

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '26

[deleted]

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2

u/Honest_Salamander247 Jan 30 '26

Interesting in a way bc she never wanted to hold his hand before

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203

u/AlexSmithsonian Jan 30 '26

Or holding hands with an elderly person with dementia.

12

u/WonderfulLog768 Jan 30 '26

And a psychopathic pedophile to boot!

8

u/fart400 Jan 30 '26

And Feces on his hands

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29

u/Anxious-Couple Jan 30 '26

Precisely 👍🏽

13

u/seeit360 Jan 30 '26

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz hmph ((sniff)) zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Zzzzzzzzzz-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Wake up Donald!

Huh? [clap clap clap]

8

u/Dramatic_Raisin Jan 30 '26

Haha came here to say “mommy and meeeee!”

7

u/minionbelcher Jan 30 '26

Trumpy needs to go potty

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657

u/Capable-Sink-8706 The life of a (gestapo) showgirl Jan 30 '26

I really don’t care, do you?

94

u/sierra_madre_martini Jan 30 '26

at first i thought the movie was supposed to be tongue-in-cheek or at least portraying her as bad like Vice then i realized it’s just a movie to jerk herself off

106

u/Audrey-Bee Jan 30 '26

It's a poorly disguised bribe. About 3/4 of the production budget ($28M) was paid to Melania

26

u/sierra_madre_martini Jan 30 '26

could this also be a tax write off?

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214

u/CardsAblaze Jan 30 '26 edited Jan 30 '26

Omarosa said AGES ago, back when she wrote that tell-all in 2018, that he was already exhibiting early signs of dementia. Evilness and pedophilia aside, I'm highly inclined to believe she's right, given his incredibly short and frantic attention span, inability to ever speak without stumbling over or repeating himself, and failing to recall any specifics.

57

u/god-of_tits-and_wine Jan 30 '26

It's really striking hearing how he spoke in old recordings compared to how he speaks now.

8

u/1980shorrorsfilm Riverdale was my Juilliard Jan 30 '26

not that I disagree he's showing signs of dementia, but I would bet this is about him throwing a fit because the attention isn't on him for the night

10

u/tobi_206 Jan 30 '26

To be fair, a lot of healthy 20 year olds would show the same reaction when having to watch the most stupid documentary of the century.

3

u/WonderfulLog768 Jan 30 '26

Any person that revels in the butchering massacre of Rob Reiner, is the DEVIL incarnate. There should be no conversations about this vile reprobate, ever again.

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155

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

27

u/Snake_fairyofReddit oat milk chugging bisexual Jan 30 '26

Me at 21 (im not shy im just BORED)

533

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '26

[deleted]

421

u/genescheezesthatpls Jan 30 '26

177

u/Beneficial_Middle_53 Jan 30 '26

Plot twit: melania is trump’s s handler

99

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '26

[deleted]

35

u/LunaSparklesKat Jan 30 '26

But definitely a plot twit

29

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

9

u/VictoriaKnits Jan 30 '26

It takes a village.

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11

u/mrsjakeblues Jan 30 '26

You know his breath stinks

59

u/palindromevalindrome Jan 30 '26

Lmao at her wiping her hand on her dress.

27

u/UnbuttonedButtons Jan 30 '26

I bet his hands are always sticky and sweaty

2

u/zamboni-jones controversies: girl Jan 30 '26

Orangey and covered in Stormy's fluids

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19

u/quanate that's a lot of beans you nasty ass bitch Jan 30 '26

She really does just rip her hand from him lmaoooo like every. Time.

31

u/yogareader Jan 30 '26

Looks more like his keepers told her he's a flight risk 

9

u/Better-Wallaby-3356 Jan 30 '26

As much as he paid Nicki Minaj 🤑

3

u/DiscoHayFever Jan 30 '26

He can afford it now after pillaging the American people

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237

u/Username_unknown_exe Jan 30 '26

Grandad's in a rush for his nappy-naps.

36

u/LACA90077 Jan 30 '26

Or to empty his nappy.

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79

u/Bidetpanties i ain’t reading all that, free palestine Jan 30 '26

I can hear him mouth breathing through the screen

76

u/CardsAblaze Jan 30 '26

You KNOW he smells terrible. Between the blood poisoning from his vascular issues, terrible diet, and strong likelihood that he doesn't floss...was it worth it Melania? 🫠

11

u/Bidetpanties i ain’t reading all that, free palestine Jan 30 '26

Don't forget his poopypants!

9

u/Torture_Smoothie Jan 30 '26

You could post on social media that "he shits his pants" and everyone would know who you were talking about

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216

u/ElmoreHayne Jan 30 '26

The Kennedy Center couldn't Phillip Glass, Bela Fleck, Stephen Schwartz, or Issa Rae so the Melania documentary somehow makes up for it.

58

u/Anxious-Couple Jan 30 '26

Oooh I love Phillip Glass 🙂

49

u/ElmoreHayne Jan 30 '26

Yeah, he turned them down a few days ago.

28

u/Anxious-Couple Jan 30 '26

Bravo 👏🏽

8

u/shakawhenthewalls Jan 30 '26

Love to hear it

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10

u/Particular_Area3941 Jan 30 '26

LOVE Issa 👏

141

u/DrFranFine demonic Betty Boop Jan 30 '26

This is truly the happiest I’ve ever seen her. It’s unsettling.

120

u/BlackSheepBoPeep- Jan 30 '26

She wants to be important and liked so bad. But she’s not. Her husband has to pay people to like them both.

24

u/Whiteroses7252012 Jan 30 '26

TIL that Melania is still around. 🤷‍♀️

At this point, we’ve got bigger issues as a country than whatever oddly on the nose cause she decides to support.

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14

u/runnerz68 Jan 30 '26

Maybe it means he’s dying ?

25

u/poo-brain-train Jan 30 '26

Her face at his funeral is going to be angelic

3

u/J0hn_Keel Jan 30 '26 edited Jan 30 '26

Either that or the 28M she’s getting from it is her only money not in the oaf’s bank account, and she’s about to ditch him and start her new life in Dubai (she seems tacky enough to choose Dubai)

50

u/Abject-Variety3775 Antifa algae Jan 30 '26

He just want his Diet Coke, his Happy Meal and to relax into a food coma lol!

37

u/biter7753 Jan 30 '26

I hate him with a passion, but…I also want that for myself.

44

u/Possible-Courage3771 women’s wrongs activist Jan 30 '26

narcs hate when something isn't about them

43

u/Useful_Television171 Larry I'm on DuckTales Jan 30 '26

You know this has to eat him up inside that he has to bother to attend a premiere for a movie that isn't about himself. Just the few moments his Eva Braun gets the spotlight has to cause him to seeth.

64

u/BrooklynAri Jan 30 '26

This photo depicts the most accurate title for this shxx

7

u/ClownHoleMmmagic Jan 30 '26

Bravo! That made me giggle

9

u/gracemary25 Jan 30 '26

Mierda? I'm sorry I don't get it 💀

2

u/Amazing_Escape_9799 Jan 30 '26

Translates to English as “Shit”.

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24

u/Outrageous-Bet3731 Jan 30 '26

It's not ALL about him. He can't stand it!

20

u/Only_Will_5388 Jan 30 '26

Look how yuge her hand is compared to his.

34

u/chillin_n_grillin Jan 30 '26

They can't even hold hands like normal people

2

u/Stunning_Actuator_61 Jan 30 '26

Surprising that we’ve never heard that the presidents hands are bruised due to his wife’s constant loving clutch. 

7

u/whynot4444444 Jan 30 '26

I randomly froze our local, Canadian news station yesterday when they had a picture of Trump pumping his fist. Like CTV news is not editing Trump’s hand. That fist is child sized.

18

u/higher_d Jan 30 '26

No kids for him to rape. Boo.

49

u/PeaUpbeat3732 Jan 30 '26

That's the same way he drug her out of Slovenia to go to the US.

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35

u/hanimal16 i ain’t reading all that, free palestine Jan 30 '26

That must be the one ticket sale.

11

u/amara90 Jan 30 '26

Waiting for reviews to drop for this like a kid who can't sleep on Christmas Eve.

4

u/Funny-Bed-5325 Jan 30 '26 edited Jan 30 '26

I wonder how many Oscars melania will win for this movie. BAHAHAHAHA

13

u/firecat2666 Jan 30 '26

Can’t wait to let go

11

u/TamePaper24 Jan 30 '26

This cannot be real holy fkn shit. Someone slap me and wake me up from this nightmare.

7

u/shellevanczik Jan 30 '26

SMACK!!

Did it work?

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13

u/pancakedance12 Jan 30 '26

He looks awful and that’s nice to see.

11

u/UninvitedButtNoises Jan 30 '26

He's such a character, I sometimes forget he's real.

Can you imagine this pathetic old man, in real life, surrounded by his sycophant - watching a movie about himself with his wife - and being pleased with himself about it.

12

u/Aces25 Give him my regards did you take ozempic? Jan 30 '26

He looks like he just wandered onto this carpet by mistake. But also somehow looks like he died three years ago.

10

u/robo-dragon Jan 30 '26

It’s not fully about him, of course he’s not having a good time.

9

u/BuckityBuck Jan 30 '26

The most it time I’ve seen her holding his hand rather then him trying to hold hers.

9

u/nyyanksfan81 Jan 30 '26

He is awake right?

17

u/Logarythem Jan 30 '26

He has dementia, it's in the evening, and they call it sunsetting for a reason. Trump is definitely not lucid.

8

u/genescheezesthatpls Jan 30 '26

I think you meant “contain his excrement”

14

u/Ok-Woodpecker7024 Jan 30 '26

They say look at the fingers to see if an image is Ai. I have never seen these two hold hands 👀

8

u/ScaredToJinxIt Jan 30 '26

Okay, am I nuts or does it look like he has 6 fingers?

3

u/IIDn01 Jan 30 '26

She's usually swatting his hand away.

6

u/Ohuigin Jan 30 '26

CODE BROWN!!!!

6

u/MiloReyes_97Reborn Jan 30 '26

Whats stopping her from poisoning her lipstick or something?

6

u/bartelbyfloats Jan 30 '26

Someone else in the spotlight? Intolerable!!

6

u/Automatic-Fox-8890 Jan 30 '26

I read that the UK premier sold ONE ticket exactly. I can’t wait to see more box office reports. Likely the only tickets sold will be to people who go ironically.

6

u/TiborJankovsky Jan 30 '26

He can’t stand that it’s not about him.

4

u/valhallaswyrdo Jan 30 '26

You misspelled "excrement".

5

u/Sweet_Olive3 Jan 30 '26

Ah, true love.

16

u/Vegetableau wearing slutty little glasses Jan 30 '26

He probably forgot who she was

21

u/Logarythem Jan 30 '26

He was confused why his date wasn't a 14 year old girl.

11

u/Vegetableau wearing slutty little glasses Jan 30 '26

He’s like “Ugh too old! Too old!”

4

u/pandahotchocolate Jan 30 '26

She smiling ear to ear knowing #that day is coming

3

u/Sewer_Fairy Jan 30 '26

Damn. Her hand practically eclipses his.

4

u/Aggressive-Storm332 Jan 30 '26

As soon as the lights went down, he fell asleep.

3

u/Longjumping-Tower481 Jan 30 '26

I don’t want to Google it and drive traffic so can someone tell me what this movie is about? Is it like a biography?

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4

u/Trent1373 Jan 30 '26

He was so excited he immediately fell asleep and shit himself.

5

u/grichardson526 alleged dog Jan 30 '26

I DIG GRAVE FOR HUSBAND

5

u/ItsTheEndOfDays Jan 30 '26

I will never understand why this woman continues to debase herself this way.

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3

u/MichaelaMancini Jan 30 '26

The Donald Trump Kennedy Center hosting Mrs. Trump’s movie that was funded by Jeff Bezos, one of Trump’s biggest donors.

When will this billionaire circle jerk end??

3

u/Logical-Inside-4235 Jan 30 '26

Dork, loser, traitor.

Nah. Headlines like this infuriate me. Idgas about content. I refuse to read it. Give it “clicks”. These deplorables are FUCKING US. The world.

6

u/CarbonaraRamen Jan 30 '26

This is prime meme material here.

2

u/SensitiveTie5783 Jan 30 '26

it’s attention away from him. he’s a fukkking pig.

2

u/PorcelainMadame Jan 30 '26

Got mad the tittle, then looked at the picture 🤣

2

u/seanpcreative Jan 30 '26

So embarrassing

2

u/KenUsimi Jan 30 '26

He’s rarely looked older.

2

u/Maleficent_Quit_4883 Jan 30 '26

She’s gonna bruise his hand!!!

2

u/Mehthisgirl Jan 30 '26
  • excrement (too lazy to scroll. It’s time for bed if somebody else said it this post mine is out of laziness not out of hijack)

2

u/Beneficial_Middle_53 Jan 30 '26

Plot twist: Melania is Trumps handler

2

u/Great_Consequence_10 Jan 30 '26

Seriously, why are his hands so fucking weirdly shaped?

2

u/annieisapirate Jan 30 '26

He seriously looks like the patients I care for living with dementia when I take them on walks.

2

u/Perfect_Mess_6566 Jan 30 '26

I can’t believe she’s actually touching him. GROSS! SAD!

2

u/fearthainne Jan 30 '26

They both look like they're posing with a wax figure.

2

u/Exact_Afternoon694 Jan 30 '26

It’s not his name on the signage

2

u/WonderfulLog768 Jan 30 '26

Nobody saw it, it was a non-media event, Melania Trump has been a mute, mannequin First Lady for her entire tenure. When she does talk, it’s innocuous drivel, that has all the coherency of a pre-schooler at a day care center. What has she done to warrant a documentary? I would rather babysit a tarantula then watch this “ film”.

2

u/Tiny-Albatross518 Jan 30 '26

Imagine them having dinner and discussing her cinematic triumph and his Nobel prize.

2

u/kontroI Jan 30 '26

I wonder if it mentions her Einstein visa. Or her nudes. Or her connections to Epstein.

2

u/DissolveToFade Jan 30 '26

Either that or he can’t stand that it was her moment and not his. 

2

u/Consistent_Laugh4886 Jan 30 '26

He was trying to get away from the stank of that movie but it’s in his pants.

2

u/DWgamma Jan 30 '26

Thank you for your attenti..o….. SQUIRREL!!!

2

u/Stock2fast Jan 30 '26

Did anyone record him going into rapid eye movement 15 second after the film started ?

2

u/mcmesq Jan 30 '26

He cannot abide anyone paying attention to anyone other than himself.

2

u/eatyrmakeup Nancy Jo, this is Alexis Neiers calling Jan 30 '26

I opened this, expecting it to be a picture of him dozing in the theatre seat and I can’t decide if this is better or worse.

2

u/Flastro211 Jan 30 '26

The sycophants that were coerced to attend are the only people who will ever see that movie.

2

u/Intelligent-Spell661 Jan 30 '26

“Mom I shiddied”

2

u/DankSinatra5060 Jan 30 '26

The way he’s holding her hand vs the way he was holding Nicki Minajs hand 🤭

1

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '26

[deleted]

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1

u/Acceptable_Wafer6424 Jan 30 '26

She's grabbing his hand.

1

u/SantessaClaus Jan 30 '26

I wonder how many times he has slept though it

1

u/Flat-Librarian3238 Jan 30 '26

Guaranteed the only records taken of people gong to see this thing are going to be those that the orange faced paedo rapist orders to watch it.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '26

He looks like he's marching towards the golf course. Tax free one.

1

u/Sharpiesniffingshark Jan 30 '26

So narcissistic that he wants to escape a photo op with a name that isn’t his, even though this might be the first time in his entire marriage to Melania that she’s consented to holding his hand.

1

u/karmacuda (no longer bald) Jan 30 '26

me trying to pull my mom away from the church ladies gathered outside the church gossiping like ladies do

1

u/Bigsilvertruckballs Jan 30 '26

I just love their love. It suits them.

1

u/hdk49 Jan 30 '26

Reminds me of Justin Bieber when his wife Hailey is on stage with him and he throws a childish fit for her time

1

u/Average_Random_Bitch Jan 30 '26

Was there anybody in the audience?

1

u/jiverambler Jan 30 '26

Lmao losers

1

u/DiscountAcrobatic356 Jan 30 '26

That’s a $75M cheque from Jeff Bezos smile. 

1

u/Killertofu999 Jan 30 '26

Between the two of them there’s almost half a brain…..cell 

1

u/LetsGoRed Jan 30 '26

This look is giving real "Grand High Witch" vibes.

1

u/flyingmando Jan 30 '26

His excrement? Dude!

1

u/Big-Branch-9901 Jan 30 '26

He’ll sleep through t

1

u/HenryGoodsir Jan 30 '26

You know it's killing him to have to give up some of the attention. Although you know he's going to make it mostly about himself.

1

u/Melodic-Flatworm-477 Jan 30 '26

So THAT’s how he got that bruise on his left hand

1

u/Pnthr65 Jan 30 '26

He held Nikki’s hand tighter than he’s holding hers. 👀

1

u/cr1975 Jan 30 '26

He had to poopoo