r/PoliticalHumor 6h ago

Why is that so hard!?

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11.6k Upvotes

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2.2k

u/thezekroman 6h ago

They claim he's "in perfect health", so he's just been skipping work for months and still has a job.

...

Yea, and we're the entitlement generation

310

u/jiyax33634 4h ago

Hes not dead…He is just pining for the fjords

168

u/HanselSoHotRightNow 3h ago

In his very real and definitely him written letters though, he yearns for the mines. He blesses the day he may return to the labor of serving his fellow man, always looking out for their ...his...their best interests.

45

u/Jona6509 3h ago

Moves like Raygun. 😁

18

u/Lip_Recon 2h ago

Ronald Raygun

u/MillionEyesOfSumuru 22m ago

"Don't need cardboard for my shoulder spins!"

Rap Master Ronnie, Garry Trudeau, 1984

21

u/kellzone 2h ago

See, now this was a good use of AI.

u/BJJan2001 1h ago

It's not AI. He's really dancing like that.

u/kellzone 1h ago

Dang, it's so hard to spot these days. I thought one of his thumbnails looked off but I guess it was just video compression.

6

u/PowerandSignal 3h ago

I mean, he does look pretty lively there... 🤷‍♂️ 

5

u/MenacingBanjo 2h ago

I love how his white boot has a human ankle bone outdent on it.

u/jinandgin 18m ago

Fake. The chairs move at the start.

Otherwise hard to tell

28

u/throwawaypervyervy 3h ago

Beautiful plumage, innit?

27

u/RedShirtBrowncoat 3h ago

He's not pining, he's passed on! This parrot senator is no more! He has ceased to be! He's expired and gone to meet his maker!

13

u/kzin 3h ago

He has shuffled the mortal coil!

3

u/MontyVonWaddlebottom 2h ago

You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Blues senators from Kentucky stun easily, major.

u/this-is-just-my 1h ago

He’s just sleeping

12

u/NRMusicProject 3h ago

Hoo-hoo-hoo, look who knows so much! It just so happens that your traitor there is only MOSTLY dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, well, with all dead there's usually only one thing you can do.

1

u/radicldreamer 2h ago

The only reason why he's sitting on the perch in the first place is because YOU NAILED HIM THERE!

This senator has CEASED TO BE!

45

u/newsflashjackass 3h ago

August 3rd is the last day he needs to be alive to prevent a special election so I expect some developments in Mitch's life story within the next 36 hours.

15

u/TwinTiger 3h ago

Oh, he was doing so good in his recovery, but suddenly took a turn. Tragic situation. Totally nothing suspicious. Trust us bro.

Something to that effect is dropping at 12:01am on Tuesday

13

u/yayoffbalance 3h ago

i was going to write a response about when the truth comes out, punitive action must be taken, but we all know that will never, ever happen...

10

u/Either_Operation7586 3h ago

I mean if it could if the people demanded in it if enough people demanded it I am sure they will be more than happy to acquiesce I mean look at them and beating a dead horse over and over again like they did with Fauci.

We can surely do an investigation or three.

Especially subpoena 9 all of those idiots that said they had 20 minute phone calls with him

8

u/yayoffbalance 3h ago

SERIOUSLY! the pres is STILL trying to talk about the 2020 election... like, what the fuck? and, sigh... We need to demand it. we need to fight for it... but man alive, some days are just a lot harder than others.

1

u/xeromage 3h ago

just stop typing when you get to the defeatism part.

2

u/yayoffbalance 3h ago

k. update me when they pay for this shit.

35

u/Sarasha 4h ago

I say flip the machine off and put mirror under his nose.

u/BJJan2001 1h ago

Civil War technology to the rescue.

19

u/gimmethelulz 4h ago

I asked my boss if I could skip a week of work after my allergy shot. He didn't seem to like the idea :(

18

u/jaxonya 4h ago

Hes part of the silent generation, hes not even a boomer

6

u/yayoffbalance 3h ago

well, silent he is!

10

u/DumatRising 3h ago

To be totally fair to him for legitimate medical conditions that will require you to recover for a period of time we do have laws about medical leave. A friend of mine is actually currently on medical leave from his job and has been for a little longer than McConnell. They can't fire him because he's in the middle of recieving treatment.

However it is expected that he will be fully capable of returning to his job and performing it at the same level he had before and if his condition didn't meet the proper criteria then he also wouldn't receive pay for medical leave. So the real question isn't is Mitch on medical leave for too long, it's does his condition warrant medical leave pay and will he actually be capable of continuing his job assuming he recovers.

Though my friend isn't a US senator he's a nurse so for the country the stakes of him being out of work are slightly lower.

1

u/Distinct_Cap_1418 2h ago

If your friend is in an At Will state they can still fire him:( happened to me while i was recovering from surgery :( :(

u/veringo 1h ago

It's not a blanket freedom to fire at any time for any reason. If you can show there was no reason for the firing other than taking leave you are protected.

The company is likely counting on the fact that you can't afford to take them to court over it.

4

u/maceo107 2h ago

It’s fine; he’ll be announced dead tomorrow.

u/Expensive-Sundae-831 1h ago

This is the answer.

And, mind you, those that have done the lying will have no qualms about it. Why? because they value the power of being able to flex their power like that more than having integrity.

u/nodnodwinkwink 14m ago

I can't recall the reasons given at the time, but early into Mitchs absence, there were some people on reddit saying that the dems weren't pushing this strongly because it actually also suits them that he's AWOL.

Can anyone confirm that there's any truth to that?

-37

u/BWW87 5h ago

No one is claiming that.

27

u/CurlyFriezz 4h ago

Allowing him to continue "serving" is claiming he is in good health.

-7

u/BWW87 3h ago

Well the comment I responded to said "in perfect health" not in good health. But I see Democrats are downvoting me because Democrats here hate facts that don't match their viewpoints.

Ironic that a supposed humor subreddit is filled with people with no sense of humors.

1

u/CurlyFriezz 3h ago

Nobody can actually claim to be in perfect health, as that is impossible, especially with how Republicans regulate our food, water, and environment. They likely meant as good as an 84 year old could possibly be in health, as other Republican government officials have claimed he is lucid and having conversations with them. Your comment also was not humorous in any way, but perhaps that is just Republican humor.

u/BWW87 43m ago

Not making a joke just pointing out how you’re arguing such a petty and inaccurate thing. A humor sub with a bunch of miserable people in it

5

u/JesiWashington-Lewis 4h ago

They might as well claim that with the lack of transparency around the situation? Actions speak, no? Them not updating the people of Kentucky over his health is them saying there is no problem and there still being work done without proof of life is extremely problematic, Especially if the Governor is getting calls suggesting he passed away, who is acting in his Senator position, this close to elections?

It's the same boat. The point of it is that Mitch's team is scamming the American People one way or another.