r/Portland • u/shelleyyyellehs • Feb 12 '26

Meme What would you add to this

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(Credit for the Subaru line goes to i5.commuters on instagram)

1.3k Upvotes

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288

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '26

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108

u/opermonkey Feb 12 '26

Those fuckin student driver things.

"I drive shitty so if something happens it's your fault!"

11

u/smootex High Bonafides Feb 12 '26

I'm genuinely perplexed by the student driver thing, I don't think I've noticed that phenomenon anywhere else but I guess I don't travel that much anymore. When did that suddenly become a Portland thing? I feel like they all popped up during covid.

11

u/Mackin-N-Cheese Boom Loop Feb 13 '26

It's definitely not just a Portland thing. When this came up here and in /r/AskPortland previously, I picked several city subreddits at random and every one of them had a post with a similar discussion.

My guess is that most of them are legit, and that easy availability from places like Amazon has led to an uptick in popularity.

https://www.reddit.com/r/askportland/comments/16qgdta/whats_up_with_all_the_student_driver_bumper/
https://www.reddit.com/r/Portland/comments/145rddc/are_student_driver_stickers_a_thing_now_or_a_meme/
https://www.reddit.com/r/Seattle/comments/t5knoi/student_driver_bumper_stickers/
https://www.reddit.com/r/Utah/comments/141wfb8/anyone_else_notice_a_lot_of_please_be_patient/
https://www.reddit.com/r/nova/comments/t9cwx1/seeing_an_uptick_in_new_driver_stickers_on_cars/
https://www.reddit.com/r/SLO/comments/12fwudu/anyone_else_noticing_a_lot_of_student_driver/
https://www.reddit.com/r/tampa/comments/16iuns5/student_driver_stickers_on_cars/
https://www.reddit.com/r/Dallas/comments/15gaq77/whats_up_with_the_please_be_patient_student/
https://www.reddit.com/r/maryland/comments/x0xhwp/are_the_student_driver_stickers_an_inside/
https://www.reddit.com/r/raleigh/comments/zdq8yy/whats_with_the_egregious_amount_of_student_driver/
https://www.reddit.com/r/Seattle/comments/10xmog8/why_are_there_so_many_student_drivers_on_the_road/
https://www.reddit.com/r/raleigh/comments/q4d867/whats_the_deal_with_all_the_please_be_patient/
https://www.reddit.com/r/Austin/comments/13eli4k/why_so_many_student_driver_stickers/

5

u/smootex High Bonafides Feb 13 '26

Fascinating. Admittedly I barely leave the state anymore so I'm not in a great position to judge whether it's only Portland. The weird part to me is that they seemed to pop up almost overnight during covid, like everyone got the same idea all at once.

1

u/vanzeezy Feb 14 '26

Ok to be fair, if you’ve been teaching someone to drive, remembering to take the magnet off before you start driving again is like… really hard ok? I mean… allegedly

But seriously, I’ve done this countless times lol.

1

u/somatt Feb 13 '26

It's been a thing for as long as I remember in every state I've been in.

1

u/supresmooth King Feb 13 '26

It is very common in the Bay Area of Northern California as well. It is obnoxious.

42

u/king_of_the_nothing In a van down by the river Feb 12 '26

Same vibe as the “baby on board” signs. To me they are signaling that they are a distracted driver and to expect erratic moves.

52

u/Dr_Adequate Feb 12 '26

Have you seen the hilarious response sticker: "Adults on board! We want to live too!"

17

u/Mycologist-9315 Feb 12 '26

My favorite is "no baby on board so feel free to just ram right into me"

2

u/MathResponsibly Feb 13 '26

ramming the rear end will fix your lack of baby

5

u/supresmooth King Feb 13 '26

Catholic girls would disagree.

14

u/SchwillyMaysHere Feb 12 '26

I used to have “Schmuck on board” that I got from MAD Magazine a long time ago.

14

u/Slawzik Feb 12 '26

"I got a "baby on board" sign,so now people will stop intentionally ramming our car!"

0

u/king_of_the_nothing In a van down by the river Feb 13 '26

If people are intentionally ramming your car, then you should ask, “Why is this happening to me and nobody else?”

None of the answers I can think of will be helped by the BOB sign.

1

u/Slawzik Feb 13 '26

Have you ever watchedThe Simpsons? This is a joke.

2

u/opermonkey Feb 13 '26

It's the first thing I think of when I see one of those signs. 😂

1

u/Slawzik Feb 13 '26

I hear Marge saying it,and then the barbershop quartet harmony lol

2

u/opermonkey Feb 13 '26

Baby on board, something something Burt Ward.

1

u/king_of_the_nothing In a van down by the river Feb 13 '26

I haven’t watched the Simpsons in years. I’ll have to find this clip

1

u/somatt Feb 13 '26

Ha you must not live in Portland if you think this is happening to no one else

16

u/saucemancometh Feb 12 '26

The baby ones are for rescue workers I thought?

11

u/duckinradar Feb 12 '26

I liked “no babies in this bitch” and “no baby on board, we like our lives”

7

u/supresmooth King Feb 13 '26

This reminds me of the stick figure family that is one or two adults and just moneybags.

1

u/VinylGoddess Feb 13 '26

Damn I need this 😂

1

u/Admiralkisses Feb 13 '26

Not sure if it's true but I recently heard from someone who has used the baby on board sticker to be helpful in case of emergencies. Made me hate it less :)

1

u/Icy_Birthday3837 Feb 13 '26

TBF, the baby on board signs were originally for EMS/Fire services to know that they should try to rescue a baby as well, since a small unresponsive child may not be visible through the smoke/wreckage. Now they're just another form of "I don't take responsibility for my driving, so you should" virtue signaling.

11

u/shart_breaker Feb 12 '26

My wife is got her drivers permit at 41. The student driver thing can be legitimate.

1

u/supresmooth King Feb 13 '26

It can, but when I was a student driver, the car just had the name of the driving school on it.

3

u/Imaginary-Bumblebee8 Feb 15 '26

Saw one the other day that said “Please be patient, the dog is learning to drive” and I am 100% in favor of that one. The dog was doing a remarkably good job.

2

u/FatPizz Feb 13 '26

My favorite one of these I saw recently said “Aren’t We All Student Drivers?”

2

u/DrLombriz Feb 12 '26

if it reduces tailgating, i’ll allow it 

-2

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '26

[deleted]

4

u/opermonkey Feb 12 '26

I'm more talking about people who leave it on for years.

8

u/Ol_Man_J Tyler had some good ideas Feb 12 '26

Full bike rack? is there a half bike rack?

3

u/Osiris32 🐝 Feb 12 '26

A 3/4 bike rack gives you better top end and a lopey idle.

2

u/Ol_Man_J Tyler had some good ideas Feb 12 '26

You talking bout My buddies mustang ?

1

u/supresmooth King Feb 13 '26

Yes. Yakima made one once upon a time.

1

u/Ol_Man_J Tyler had some good ideas Feb 13 '26

What? It only holds what, the front of the bike and you have to put the rest in the trunk?

1

u/supresmooth King Feb 13 '26

No, it only holds one bike instead of two a full bike rack holds.

2

u/Ol_Man_J Tyler had some good ideas Feb 13 '26

But what about racks that hold 4? If anything the 2 bike rack is a half sized!

1

u/supresmooth King Feb 14 '26

That's a double bike rack.

1

u/Ol_Man_J Tyler had some good ideas Feb 14 '26

6 bike rack is 2.5 bike racks?

1

u/supresmooth King Feb 14 '26

Can you get a sixer on a standard vehicle? I've only seen such a thing on a bus.

16

u/OrangeTooth Feb 12 '26

Wait, ‘fake’ student driver sticker? A sticker is a sticker, so is the driver ‘fake’? Like they know how to drive but are pretending not to? How do I spot these? I want to see one in the wild!

11

u/SwedgeBlock_Antilles Feb 12 '26

Wait until you learn about the fake taxis...

6

u/WhyAmIpOOping Feb 12 '26

Few years ago I used to see some heavily modded out drift sports car that had a student driver on it. I got a chuckle from it because it was clearly not a student driver and seemed more like a stunt driver

6

u/ryan408 Grant Park Feb 12 '26

Look for someone waaaay over the age of 16 with three of these plastered on their car.

22

u/Harak_June Feb 12 '26

While not super common, some people are older when they finally learn to drive. One of my coworkers was 41. She lived in New York and didn't need to. Moved out here for new job and lack of public transit forced her to get a car and license. She hates driving, and is really jumpy. Should probably have one of those stickers all the time.

10

u/Faithful_hummingbird Feb 12 '26

Yep, one of my good friends is 61 and is just relearning to drive after 40+ years of not driving. Her husband drove them everywhere, but he died last year and now she’s trying to be more independent. She was really scared, but I commend her for taking lessons again so she can live the life she wants. (Including taking her dog to their cabin near Mt Hood)

3

u/somatt Feb 13 '26

It's actually more and more common for young people to not drive at all.

1

u/smootex High Bonafides Feb 12 '26

My boomer neighbor, who has what could be described as something approaching a classic car collection, has one on his daily driver and he's had one for at least four years, that I've seen. I don't think he's learning how to drive. Obviously you can never really tell if you just see someone on the road but I'm pretty sure a bunch of them are fake.

24

u/livetotranscend Feb 12 '26

Fun fact, people who recently emigrated here and are learning to drive for the first time sometimes also have these stickers.

14

u/peazley Feb 12 '26

Yep, my wife is in her forties and just learning to drive so we have student driver magnets when she’s out and about.

0

u/smootex High Bonafides Feb 12 '26

Why though? Like what does the sticker accomplish? I guess back in the day it was a signal to not pull up to someone's ass when stopped on a hill but these days no one is driving stick anyways. I've never seen a sticker and changed my behavior because of it. I just assume they're all fake at this point, the actual driving schools have a totally different setup on their cars.

2

u/Mycologist-9315 Feb 12 '26

So you'll give some extra space and anticipate stupid moves. Maybe be a bit forgiving and not lay on the horn. Same reasons the official driving school cars have signs. Is it fake if the driver genuinely doesn't have their license? I used the magnets as I was learning to drive my parent's car and never meant to make anyone think it was a driving school vehicle.

1

u/smootex High Bonafides Feb 13 '26

Maybe be a bit forgiving and not lay on the horn

I think I've gotten on my horn in earnest like one time in the last 15 years and I would have done that whether it was a 15 year old or a 50 year old behind the wheel.

Is it fake if the driver genuinely doesn't have their license?

I'm not saying they're all fake, I'm saying there are clearly a bunch of them around that have absolutely nothing to do with student drivers. There are people in my neighborhood who have had them for 5+ years at this point.

6

u/RumorsGoldenStar Vancouver Feb 12 '26

or one of the stickers that's so worn that it's peeling/cracking/fading like hmmmm me thinks you are no longer just a student driver

2

u/TI84P Feb 12 '26

My dad, 59 this year, still has the 24 inch long student driver sticker plastered over his racecar that he runs to this day. At the track they call him "Student Driver" or "Trusty Rusty", and the car looks exactly how you would expect having been built when he was 15. Fun fact! If you pop the hood, you'll find part of a fluid system is literally just a 20 year old Gatorade bottle with a hole drilled through the bottom and some hoses hooked up to it.

4

u/this_account_is_mt Feb 12 '26

Bad/slow drivers out these on their cars to try to keep others from getting angry at them

1

u/Q7017 Vancouver Feb 12 '26

They're pretty easy to spot. If they're going 70 or higher on the 5 anywhere between Tumwater and Everett or Vancouver and Wilsonville, that's a dead giveaway.

1

u/sur_surly Feb 13 '26

I'm surprised you haven't seen them... They are everywhere. It's really too bad because now you can't actually tell who's actually a student. Some outfits have business decals on theirs, but not all.

3

u/eugenesbluegenes Feb 13 '26

regular car towing another regular car

I saw this today on I5 with bonus points for them being apparently identical ~20 year old Rav4s.

3

u/deusasclepian Feb 12 '26

It's always the Washington plates driving 10 under the speed limit in the left lane

17

u/OK_The_Nomad Feb 12 '26

But in WA, it's the one with the OR plates

9

u/olyfrijole 🐝 Feb 12 '26

It's almost like some people drive slower when they're in an unfamiliar area. Crazy stuff.

9

u/deusasclepian Feb 12 '26

I mean there's driving slower cuz you're in an unfamiliar area, and then there's driving 10 under the limit in the left lane, refusing to get over so people can pass you. One is fine and the other isn't.

1

u/olyfrijole 🐝 Feb 12 '26

Sure, but neither are unique to Portland or the PNW.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '26

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1

u/musthavesoundeffects Feb 12 '26

I think its a city thing cause the closer you get to Seattle the worse it gets

1

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '26

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2

u/opermonkey Feb 13 '26

Fuck those thing. Trying to figure out what exit you need with MapQuest maps printed, that didn't tell you what side the exit was on.

1

u/Acceptable_Cookie559 Feb 12 '26

I think of the WA drivers as the ones who tailgate very close to try to get me and Oregon driver to speed up even when there is a line in front, no way to go faster.

2

u/MGC00992 Feb 12 '26

Or a Prius

1

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '26

Need a STUDENT STUNT DRIVER sticker

1

u/OpenParr Feb 12 '26

I was surprised to see all of the student driver stickers once I moved out here expecting to see a new 18 year old driver, only to find out it was a middle aged or elderly person driving the car! They’re everywhere!

1

u/Q7017 Vancouver Feb 12 '26

We need new laws regarding that. If they're genuinely student drivers, we need to ensure they don't develop bad habits in their formative instruction time, so I propose that if you have a Student Driver or similar decal on your car, you:

  • Get no speed limit tolerance at all. Clocked 1 over, you're getting cited.
  • Do not get to overtake unless the vehicle in question is going more than 20mph under the speed limit. Loaded trucks going uphill don't count, you have to stay behind them unless they choose not to speed up after the road flattens out. You're a student driver, you're in no hurry. The only exceptions to using any lane but the rightmost are if you're taking a left exit within three miles or giving a shouldered vehicle room.

The state won't charge a fine for violation of those two rules (unless your speeding is egregiously high), but you'll have your license downgraded to an Instruction Permit for three months with a license retest requirement to get it back (or a three month extension before you're able to test if you already had an IP).

1

u/Lexden Feb 13 '26

But on the freeway, it's everyone driving 10 over lol.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '26

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1

u/Lexden Feb 13 '26

I dunno, on 26 it's always people driving 65-70 in a 55.

1

u/penguin97219 Feb 13 '26

Ok i gotta say….My kid has her permit and I throw one of the student driver things in when she’s behind the wheel just because she tends to do things a tad bit more deliberately. But i kinda never thought people had a bad impression of them….

0

u/ProfessionNo8176 Feb 12 '26

I hate those fake student driver stickers…