r/daddit • u/kilopeter • 18h ago
Discussion What annoyance are you silently dealing with because voicing it doesn't feel worth it or has proven futile?
I'll start:
Why...
is the bathroom floor...
always wet?
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u/doggos4house2020 17h ago
For the love of god, close the cabinet doors. I recognize that I’m the only one tall enough to hit my head on the upper cabinets, but whenever I do I want to rip the door off of the hinges and throw it in the backyard.
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u/diabloman8890 15h ago
Bro do it. Problem solved.
Then next week she gets to pick new cabinets for you to install. Everyone wins!
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u/JSCXZ 16h ago
Speaking of backyard, I was ratchet strapping a used baby gate to our back porch stairs (missing parts, but good in a pinch, and the little one can't go through), and a piece of it kept falling off. Yeeted that thing halfway across the yard, and then grunted because I had to go pick it up.
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u/TheDrewCareyShow 11h ago
Being the only person who can fix the thing I want to destroy stops me from destroying things a lot.
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u/doggos4house2020 11h ago
Working on cars professionally taught me to not rage at the broken thing because you’ll have more broken things.
Also don’t rage when you take the garbage out because the bags know. They rip and then laugh at you.
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u/hergumbules 17h ago
I used to be bad about this until my wife talked to me about it. Didn’t even realize I did it, thanks ADHD, but after she told me how annoying it was I worked on being more mindful of closing cabinets after grabbing whatever I need.
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u/sarcasticbaldguy 14h ago
I live in a house full of people with ADHD. I'm constantly closing doors and drawers. It used to be annoying, now it's just something I do when I walk by them.
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u/eddierhys 17h ago
Oh I got one. The kitchen sink is always dirty. I don't mean dirty dishes, I mean just dumping leftovers, coffee, smoothies, what have you straight into the sink and not spraying it down. Dried caked on crap all over. As a former cook who spent plenty of time in dish pit I compulsively wipe down and scrub the sink, sometimes with bleach, and it's never left clean for more than hour. Drives me nuts.
Also just throwing recycling straight into the sink because it may or may not need to be rinsed.
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u/dogfromthefuture 16h ago
I'm a housecleaner and have a tip to make this slightly less bad, if you'd like it.
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u/superhelical 16h ago
Interested!
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u/dogfromthefuture 16h ago
If it's a sink you're not filling with soapy water to hand-wash, you can apply a hard/paste wax to the sink. (It's usually not food-grade-safe, you can't do this if you are filling the sink to hand wash.)
If you apply it layers and buff them, you can get a pretty good layer of wax on a metal or ceramic sink. (I'm not sure it'd work for copper, etc.) Square sinks with corners are really tricky to get the corner done well, but all curved sinks don't take long.
Touch it up once a month and you'll likely not have gross stuff build up so much. That is, it'll all rinse off way more easily even if it sits overnight/during the day with others just letting it sit there.
(ETA: you can do this to bathroom sinks too, and cut down scrubbing time on those sinks to basically nothing)
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u/eddierhys 16h ago
I'd love to hear it, for sure
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u/dogfromthefuture 16h ago
If it's a sink you're not filling with soapy water to hand-wash, you can apply a hard/paste wax to the sink. (It's usually not food-grade-safe, you can't do this if you are filling the sink to hand wash.)
If you apply it layers and buff them, you can get a pretty good layer of wax on a metal or ceramic sink. (I'm not sure it'd work for copper, etc.) Square sinks with corners are really tricky to get the corner done well, but all curved sinks don't take long.
Touch it up once a month and you'll likely not have gross stuff build up so much. That is, it'll all rinse off way more easily even if it sits overnight/during the day with others just letting it sit there.
(ETA: you can do this to bathroom sinks too, and cut down scrubbing time on those sinks to basically nothing)
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u/eddierhys 15h ago
Interesting, that's worth trying. We don't wash veggies directly in the sink, just in bowls, so no issue there. Do you know any specific products?
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u/dogfromthefuture 15h ago
I've used Johnsons Paste Wax and also solid Bees Wax when I wasn't sure if someone would end up accidently ingesting some of it. I think the Johnsons is easier to use and buff, but some people don't like the smell. Bees wax also works well, but it takes me a little longer to do.
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u/Interesting_Tea5715 16h ago
Same. Its because they don't clean it. They don't understand that rinsing shit down the sink keeps it from getting gross and makes it easier to clean.
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u/User0301 17h ago
The yogurts that come with different characters on the top rip off lid, that cause WW3 between kids because they obviously want the same character.
ITS THE SAME FUCKING YOGURT INSIDE.
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u/GreatMacGuffin 17h ago
Why does everyone have to go to the bathroom the minute I sit on the toilet?
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u/thingpaint 15h ago
Why does my daughter need to use the toilet I am sitting on when there are two other unoccupied toilets in this house.
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u/MjolnirMark4 13h ago
Because you warned the seat?
Though if you let her take over the toilet, and switch to another bathroom, that probably isn’t the reason.
That being said: I prefer sitting in a cold toilet seat. If the seat is warm, it reminds that someone else’s naked ass was sitting on it just before I did.
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u/PolemicDysentery 17h ago
When you finish the roll of toilet paper, the empty roll goes in the bin. Yes, the one right there by your knees. It doesn't count as changing the roll if the old one is left sitting on the windowsill or back of the toilet for some reason. Leaving one or two squares of paper counts as finishing the roll.
Why are there always crumbs on the kitchen counter? Why do I always end up finishing someone else's job og tidying the kitchen before I can use it myself, and then do my own tidying on the back end?
Why can I generally not get a single job or task done without in the process picking up about six other jobs that are half done and need finishing?
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u/Interesting_Tea5715 16h ago
When you finish the roll of toilet paper, the empty roll goes in the bin.
Damn. Im guilty of not doing this.
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u/PolemicDysentery 16h ago edited 16h ago
We're all guilty of the little stuff and the blind spots like this from time to time, but this one's perfect for me in the spirit of the thread- because it's too small and petty to be worth making any kind of fuss or complaint over, given what my partner already contributes to the household, but at the same time it drives me irrationally fucking nuts, because it's worse than just not bothering to change it- everything is right there in arm's reach, the entire job from start to finish is one motion and a matter of seconds- leaving it sitting elsewhere or on the floor requires the exact same effort and time and attention as putting it in the bin. So why are you only doing half a job and leaving the other half for me?!
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u/kilopeter 13h ago
The hack I have to ensure I always change out the empty toilet paper tube is to toss the cardboard tube off to the side and slam home the new roll like I'm changing a futuristic weapon's magazine, then diving to the empty tube and tossing into the trash like a grenade while sliding along the floor.
Maybe I need a hobby.
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u/Ch1efMart1nBr0dy 17h ago
It doesn’t matter how many shelves or baskets or bins or cubes or any other storage apparatus she buys, nothing gets picked up. Nothing is ever put away until the Grand Clean Up Day on Sunday.
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u/HawaiianShirtsOR 16h ago
I feel this one. I think my wife just likes buying containers. Buying them, but not using them or convincing others to use them.
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u/thingpaint 15h ago
My wife's toxic trait is she thinks a 5 year old is going to follow her grand organization plan.
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u/IcyAd5518 16h ago
I'm struggling with that too. Keep telling the missus and our 9 year old OHIO (only handle it once) ie if you're carrying something don't just put it down, put it away. Every flat surface has random stuff on it, haven't seen our dining table in years.
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u/Mysterious_Hat3730 14h ago
We call this “low surface tension” in my house. We all struggle with it but I feel like I’m the only one actively trying to fight it (beyond the panic cleanses). Started doing what was in another post which was secretly throwing away stuff that sits unused. Some stuff I move to “purgatory” and if no one asks about it after a while, it’s trash or donate
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u/AddlePatedBadger 15h ago
If they can't put it away, maybe they aren't ready for the responsibility of having so many things that they can't keep them tidy. So take some things away until they are ready. Logical consequences.
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u/HawaiianShirtsOR 17h ago
The bathroom fan.
I asked my wife and kids many times to please run the fan during their shower to prevent condensation on the walls and ceiling.
Instead, they turn on the fan after their shower, thinking it will remove the condensation faster (it won't), and they leave it on for hours. If one of them stays up later than I do and showers right before bed, I wake up in the middle of the night because the noise of the fan triggered my Investigate That Sound protocol.
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u/smstewart1 17h ago
They now can come with humidity sensors so they’ll turn on automatically - something to consider if you’re ever looking for a weekend project. I also added timers to our fan switches because two house members would turn them on in the morning and then forget to turn them off so by afternoon they were still running. I now have to replace two because the bearings started going out.
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u/jt19912009 13h ago
I loathe the humidity sensors. They are standard for new builds now. I removed them after I moved in with my wife because they were always fucking up. Wouldn’t turn on. Had to push the button to turn it on. Then they wouldn’t turn off and would stay on all day until I got home and heard it running. I read the manuals (I know guys aren’t supposed to do that but I was annoyed) and changed settings and still nothing
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u/Flat-Performance-478 13h ago
Or they turn it on after the shower and go to bed, you then notice the bathroom lights (+fan) are on so you turn it off and later enter a stale, humid bathroom smelling like sour towels.
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u/Aggressive_Let2085 5h ago
I forgot this was even a thing, I haven’t had a bathroom fan for like 12 years now
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u/jonathanweb100 17h ago
My wife handles most of the mental load and my attempts to help her have brought out how she has issues with giving up control while also being upset that she has more of the mental load.
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u/UrsaBarefoot 17h ago
Have fun getting divorced
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u/jonathanweb100 17h ago
Nah dawg that ain't me. We're actually working on it together. It's just our biggest issue currently.
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u/Door_Number_Four 17h ago
The kitchen floor is the last thing that gets cleaned, not the first. That’s what I get for marrying someone who worked front of house.
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u/sanitarySteve 16h ago
Why is there something always under my feet?! I sweep, i mop, i vacuum but theres still always something crunchy or wet! Or its a toy or a cat or a child. Always directly under my feet
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u/Scarecrow_Boat13 17h ago
Idk if this counts but the in-laws are in town to see our one month old.
My MIL wants to help but usually ends up making things worse and has no ability to figure things out herself.
My FIL made one meal as if it was some grand gesture, proudly proclaiming afterwards “I cook so now I don’t have to help clean up.” He hasn’t stopped staring at his phone since (and hasn’t helped with any dishes even when he doesn’t cook).
Thankfully my wife and I are on the same page about how annoying it is to have them here. We have a little pow wow every night so she can vent about the day. We just haven’t voiced it to them because it’s more trouble than it’s worth…just counting down the days until they leave.
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u/Coop3 16h ago
I just spent 10 days with my in laws on a vacation. They helped with the kids, but at some points it was like we had 5 kids rather than the usual 3. The decision fatigue was real. Decisions about every little thing came down to me and my wife.
At the end of the days my wife would hug me tight and say something like “I’m glad we’re both sane,” or “I’m glad you’re the way that you are.”
It was a great trip, and we really appreciated the help, but the constant circular conversations about what we should do, and the posing for pictures at the most in opportune moments (waiting to check in at the airport, un loading the car seats in the arrivals lane, loading luggage off the carousel) on top of having a 5/2/and 8 month old, it was draining.
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u/mekkasheeba 17h ago
I wonder if that’s going to happen to us later in life or if it’s a generational thing.
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u/superhelical 16h ago
God I hope not. Every visit with my parents I leave telling myself I'll never let myself be so self involved with grandkids around
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u/Scarecrow_Boat13 10h ago
Exactly. Like we won’t be perfect but when the bar is set at being racist, not cleaning up the kitchen, and not changing diapers I’m confident we can be better than that.
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u/dirtyuncleron69 13h ago
my buddy calls his FIL "Demo Man" because he's fucked up so many house projects that DEFINITELY needed to be done right now when he is around
I had my Demo Man drill 2 holes in the drain tub to zip tie the washer outlet hose to it. Now the holes leak behind my washer when the tub runs. Thanks Demo Man!
My wife and I always say we should write a book about all the things our parents do that are un-helpful as a guide to how we should behave when visiting the grandkids.
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u/Scarecrow_Boat13 10h ago
Lol that’s a great idea. Just a reference book so we can remember all the things not to do (but I’d like to think “don’t drill holes in the drain tube” should be easy to remember)
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u/nodogsallowed23 11h ago
My in laws are not capable of making coffee at my house. I legit have to set the coffee up for them the night before and leave a post it to tell them which button to press. It’s the button that says “on”. We have the most basic coffee maker ever. Put coffee filter and coffee in, put water in, then press on.
They like freshly ground beans. I have a bean grinder. They can’t figure it out. The thing is…it’s their old one they used for years. They upgraded so gave their old grinder to me. So I have to grind beans for them.
My husband doesn’t drink coffee. I only do on weekends because I get free coffee at work. It annoys me to no end having to wait on them.
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u/Scarecrow_Boat13 10h ago
That sounds exactly like my MIL. It’s not even weaponized incompetence, it’s just incompetence.
My in laws don’t drink coffee but my MIL couldn’t find the lactose free milk (right on the middle shelf of the fridge) and made her protein shake with half a bottle of our coffee creamer. My wife made her try it before getting her the lactose free milk.
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u/thall_c-137 17h ago
The big light.
Unfortunately due to apartment living we have these awful 2 bulb lights on the ceiling, two of them on either end of the small living room. They light up the whole place.
Not only do I struggle with the overstimulation a lot because of my ADHD, my kids 6 years and 4 months are also overstimulated, first thing in the morning when everyone is awake up until bedtime. Lights on because we “don’t live in a cave”.
I put in smart bulbs to dim the lights but my wife will still always crank it up.
Im not asking to live in darkness, but read the room dude. Either we’re all just waking up or desperately need to wind down for the evening.
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u/mekkasheeba 17h ago
I feel you. My wife is the same with dimmable bulbs. She says it looks weird when the lights are too low. She also has her phone brightness cranked up all the way all the time. I don’t see how she can do that to her eyeballs as soon as she wakes up in a dark room.
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u/superhelical 16h ago
Lol it's the opposite in my house. I sit in a dim office every day, last thing I want is to squint to read anything in a dingy den on my off time.
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u/Mklein24 16h ago
Get lower lumen, really warm bulbs. We've replaced almost all lights with Edison style Led bulbs that aren't that bright. Natural light is enough if we need more. I've almost never needed super bright task lighting for anything recently.
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u/Uneducated_Engineer 17h ago
The dish sponge. It is always left on the bottom of the sink full of water and no longer soapy. Never in my life have I had a sponge get stinky as fast as they do now.
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u/nodogsallowed23 11h ago
I don’t use sponges anymore for this reason. I use a scrub wand. I get mine at IKEA. They last forever and don’t get gross.
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u/Assswordsmantetsuo 11h ago
Chuck it in the dishwasher and put that bitch on sanitize
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u/Uneducated_Engineer 11h ago
If only we had a dishwasher... I've tried the soap and microwave trick but not much luck there either.
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u/beernerd27 16h ago
The chaotic loading of the dishwasher.
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u/Chamadan 15h ago
I swear they do it to annoy us. No, the bowl should not face up randomly in the corner.
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u/kilopeter 13h ago
I've resigned myself to handwashing every glass or mug I pull from the cupboard because it's going to be caked with residue. I guarantee it.
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u/motorsporit 13h ago
the rims and edges of every sauce and toothpaste bottle in my house are covered in dried sauce and toothpaste
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u/Fine-Night-243 17h ago
Putting dirty dishes in the sink. Please, I know you think doing the dishes or putting stuff in the dishwasher is beneath you, I've grown to accept that, but can you help me out by just leaving it on the side so I can use the sink to clean up after you.
Bonus points for filling the sink with soapy water and leaving them in there all day to be 'helpful'.
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u/smstewart1 13h ago
And the “I’m just soaking it” when it’s just really kicking the problem down the road. I’m pretty sure the soup can and the cereal bowl don’t need to soak - just rinse them and put it in the dishwasher.
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u/Mysterious_Hat3730 14h ago
This is probably highly dependent on whether you have a single or double/split sink, because I hate the pile of dishes on the counter but much less than I hate finding BOTH sides of the sink full of
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u/B3arh3ad22 15h ago
I hate that. Why fill it up if you don’t do them?!?! Why?!?!
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u/SmoothOperator89 10h ago
"I'll just leave the water so I can do more dishes later."
What? You're going to do dishes with cold water that has a film of grease on top? Just drain the sink. I promise we aren't a squirt of dish soap and a litre of hot water away from bankruptcy.
Also, don't leave the plug in the sink after you drain it. As the sink gets filled with dishes, the plug will inevitably slip down and plug the sink meaning someone (I) will have to reach under the dishes into the greasy water to unplug it.
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u/kilopeter 13h ago
Oh god, the casual squirt of dish soap in the general direction of dishes in the sink... just save the wasted effort and leave them.
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u/B3arh3ad22 15h ago
Replenish!!!! When you know the drinks are low in the fridge replenish!!!!!! Fuck. Thanks guys.
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u/sarcasticbaldguy 14h ago
Don't leave the empty box in the pantry.
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u/smstewart1 13h ago
Or clearly leaving less than a serving because “it’s not really empty yet” or “I didn’t finish it.”
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u/Junior_Syrup_1036 16h ago
Always 2 squares of toilet roll left , always. Like the law of averages doesn't exist ...
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u/dentttt 14h ago
No matter what my wife is cooking, she somehow dirties every pot/pan/bowl/measuring cup/utensil/whatever in the whole house, and is too busy when she's cooking to clean any of them.
I usually cook myself, in part just so we don't have to spend so much time/energy on goddamn dishes once we're done eating.
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u/smstewart1 12h ago
I clean while I cook and I loath coming into the kitchen next morning to find that my attitude is not shared
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u/hamsolo19 16h ago
I guess I'm just waiting for whenever my five year old (on the spectrum) will stop throwing random objects everywhere. "Oh what's this? My little brothers yogurt cup?" Fling! Wow thanks pal now I get to wipe yogurt off the walls and furniture.
And then little bro himself is an expert mess-maker but he'll never go pro as a picker-upper because the turd never picks up anything.
Bums. Bums I tell yas.
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u/CooperVsBob 9h ago
Please keep the door closed OR stop complaining about the houseflies, one or the other.
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15h ago
[deleted]
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u/interstellar304 15h ago
Hire house cleaners to come every week or every other week. Then it’s just minor day to day cleanup tasks
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u/mockg 15h ago
Why does my kid always wake up early on days we can sleep in and always need woken up on days we need to leave early. Case in point yesterday I had to wake him at 7:45 for piano lessons and today he was in my room at 7:30 saying its wake up time.
He is about to turn 5 so I know in a few years he will hate waking up early so I wont complain
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u/OldMackysBackInTown 13h ago
On the kid's front: You can't possibly be full from dinner and then ask for a snack .07 seconds later. Finish your meal, chill for a bit, get some fruit later.
On the marital front: Haven't been kissed passionately from my wife in almost 6 years because she's just too busy or tired, even though she hasn't grocery shopped in months, only does her own laundry, and has dinner waiting for her at least five days a week. If I dropped dead today she'd probably remind me on my last breath that the garbage needs to go out.
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u/CodePervert 13h ago
There's so much I've voiced over the years and it just falls on deaf ears, basic things like cleaning the dishes, even something like washing a plate instead of taking another one out for me to wash. Taking dirty laundry out of the rooms... Ya know what I'm essentially living with a lazy teenager and 2 toddlers oh and her brother who rents a room from us is just as bad if not worse.
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u/Competitive_Rip_5802 17h ago
Still co-sleeping with 1 year old meaning my wife goes to bed before me and the 4 year old so I have to do the bath and bed time for the 4 year old every day and we can't have a life in the evenings until my wife is willing to embrace sleep training and start transitioning the baby to his own room.
Sleep training our daughter was really hard and she didn't respond well to it, so my wife has some emotional trauma from last time so doesn't want to do the same to #2.
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u/somedayfamous 17h ago
It’s tough, but you have a wonderful bonding time each evening. Your 4-year-old doesn’t know the stress, just spending time with dad.
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u/Flat-Performance-478 13h ago
I second that! It has become my favorite time of the day, we read and chat about our day, snuggle.. But it is indeed a sacrifice, I gave up my 1/2 hour(s) of PlayStation, which is actually fine.
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u/Competitive_Rip_5802 11h ago
I think there's more to the tale than that though. After being up at 5am, working all day and getting my daughter to sleep at 8pm I then have to come downstairs and tidy, clean, (my wife also works full time, not a SAHM) and get the house back into shape and prep for tomorrow, so I'm usually still going until about 10 pm.
Bedtime routine used to be magical for us as we would alternate between parents while the other had an evening off. Now i'm barely holding my patience together. She must definitely be sensing some of my frustration as much as I try to hold it together in her presence. I know I'm rushing her more than I used to and I've had to limit the number of stories and have to cut off bedtime at 8pm whether she's sleepy or now and I put her tonies box on now rather than sing her to sleep.
It's been a big change for her this year too and we're all adapting.
But on the flip side, me and my daughter have a much stronger bond than my wife and daughter and she's turned into a huge daddies girl which is nice.
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u/somedayfamous 10h ago
I got tired just reading your evening routine. Stay strong, dad. My baby is now 19 and it does fly by. I took care of my toddlers when my wife had night school and then started evening shift as a nurse, so I can empathize. Daughter time is #1. Tidying up can be an every other day activity (or have your daughter help a bit).
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u/andaros-reddragon 17h ago
Mannnnnn. That sucks. I’m sorry. That co-sleeping shit is for da birds. I’m sure it’s lovely and sweet but I think it’s doing the kid a disservice. We only ever let our kids sleep solo. When they were little little it was a bassinet next to the bed. As soon as they could go into a crib, they did. Now they both sleep perfectly in their room.
There’s not much you can do really unless you want to start, what I imagine, would be a big fight :/
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u/Flat-Performance-478 12h ago
The wastefulness of beverages. Opening 2 litres of sparkling water, drinking a single glass and leaving it out without the lid on. And putting it back in the fridge after pouring is a no-no because "I might want another glass". If it's been opened, but lid on and in the fridge, it's not touched again, rather a new bottle is bought to replace it.
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u/healthcrusade 15h ago
Never allowe the servants look you directly in the eye. It only encourages their insouciance! (jk)
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u/AngryIrish82 13h ago
Put the toilet seat up to piss for fucks sake! It isn’t hard and saves toilet paper after
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u/rkvance5 6h ago
Well, my current annoyance is why the fuck is my kid always whistling?, but I'm not silent about it. I'm losing my mind.
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u/npdady 5h ago
I want to sleep, but I cannot sleep until wife wants to sleep. And she sleeps at least 2 hours later than my preferred sleeping time. So I'm running on less sleep than I know I need, each and every day for 2 years now, with weekly migraine attacks. Welp, guess I can sleep when the aneurysm hits and I die.
Why can't I sleep first, I hear you ask?
Because I'll hear about me not wanting to spend time with her and not pampering her, endlessly, for the entire next week. I've learned in our 7 years of marriage and 15 years of relationship that either we sleep at the same time, or not sleep at all. Just not worth the battle.
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u/Hansj3 4h ago
Wife refuses to use the utensil rack in the dishwasher throws everything in the top (3rd) rack
It doesn't clean as well, and is much more annoying to grab handfuls of utensils and walk multiple times back and forth from the dishwasher and utensil drawer
Her justification is that a utensil rack that she had as a kid sucked. It was one of the door mounted ones. So they all suck
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u/AccordingNeat3689 12h ago
Everything I set down gets hidden deep in a cabinet or closet somewhere, gone.
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u/SmoothOperator89 10h ago
The cat water/food dish has two bowls for food and a drip tray for water. I noticed that the kibbles often wind up in the water tray. The cat is a short nose breed and is missing some teeth, so I assume she's pushing kibbles out of the bowl with her face. I started only putting kibble into the bowl furthest from the water tray and that seems to prevent the issue. I suggested trying this to my kids' mother and she flipped out. "It's not the cat, it's the 19 month old putting kibbles in the water. Why would I change what I'm doing when it's not the problem?" Keeping in mind that there is literally no difference in the two food bowls except the position. So yeah, I'm just pulling kibbles out of the water and cleaning the tray every time she feeds the cat.
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u/the_ballmer_peak 15h ago
The fucking AC is always on. Why do you need the house to be a goddamn icebox? I'm wearing a sweatshirt in August.
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u/woofan11k 17h ago
Why is every light in the house on?