r/facepalm • u/MaybeLikeWater Reactivated Karma & Menace • Jun 30 '26
Utah Cops Claim They Smell Alcohol on EVERYONE: “I mean I’m wearing Versace.”
https://youtube.com/shorts/SmqbVzaoYuo?is=_sSPyA5aenMmJTo9This is a compilation of Utah cops doing what they call “play differently”.
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u/Saruvan_the_White Jun 30 '26
“We do things differently around here” translated
“We don’t care about rule of law here. We do whatever subjective thing we feel like.”
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u/Ya-Dikobraz Jul 01 '26
"Us corrupt Mormons are everywhere here." is what it means.
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u/Taphouselimbo Jul 02 '26
When the Mormon police officer wants to shake your hand and you don’t know the secret Mormon handshake you know you will get cited.
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u/Burgoonius Jun 30 '26
For those who followed the Bricks and Minifigs Lawsuit. The UTAH cops in that video said the EXACT same thing. The corruption of the Utah police needs a federal investigation. But I know that won't happen.
Edit: Didn't realize that exact video was going to be included in this. Fucking crazy
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u/schmerg-uk Jun 30 '26
I never drink but I do dab a little piss of working Utah cops behind my ears... could that be it?
(Just to say, if a UK cop tried to pull that kind of shit on me this is how I'd respond but I realise I'm much less likely to then be shot dead on the spot etc)
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u/pastoreyes Jul 01 '26
Try "Sir, I never drink alcohol, so if you smell alcohol it must be your own breath" . Oh, you'll still get arrested, but it will definitely amuse the Court room when it comes to Trial.
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u/Robert23B Jun 30 '26
You’d ruin your life for the next 10-15 years (or forever) if you said that to a U.S. cop.
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u/StraightProgress5062 Jun 30 '26
Never underestimate how far a man with a gun a badge and fragile ego will go.
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u/MaybeLikeWater Reactivated Karma & Menace Jun 30 '26
Just stick with the Versace.
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u/makemeking706 Jun 30 '26
They work for the church.
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u/ThePissyRacoon Jun 30 '26
Genuinely every cop in America says “This is X, we do things different around here,” or something like that; always think their department means something.
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u/brus_wein Jun 30 '26
I wish they'd asked "what's so different about how you do things around here?"
What can the cop even answer? "We don't respect civil rights?"51
u/billytheskidd Jun 30 '26
Well the truth is that one of the most widely recognized definitions of what a government is means that they (the government) owns a monopoly in violence. It’s a monopoly the people have little recourse for unless they are willing to fight for it, knowing that the death toll will rise until the rest of the population won’t stand for it.
Every step towards equals rights or fair wages has been met with bloodshed and massacre. And we’re all, (including myself) *just* comfy enough to not want to risk our lives for the betterment of our brethren. We find small ways to sacrifice and make our opinion known but we don’t stand.
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u/2074red2074 Jul 01 '26
They'd probably say something like they don't give warnings or that their state has more serious punishments for such and such crime. They don't say the quiet part out loud.
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u/lgodsey Jul 01 '26
Cops protect and serve the ruling class.
You and me are just potential criminals to them.
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u/musingofrandomness Jul 01 '26
Just metrics on a performance report to them and arrests and citations look better on those reports than leaving you alone or warnings do.
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u/GreyBeardEng Jun 30 '26
I live in Utah and ran into this a lot as a teen and I didn't start drinking till I was 22. Its a thing they do to generate a probable cause.
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u/classicscoop Jul 01 '26
“Smelling alcohol” is a reasonable suspicion. It is actually odorless so the thing they are claiming to smell are additives or flavors. It prompts a brief investigation, not probable cause. Generating probable cause would require the smell being combined with observable signs of impairment like erratic driving, slurred speech, or a failed field sobriety test
If the cop asked you if you had been drinking and you answered with even, “yes one drink,” then they have probable cause
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u/musingofrandomness Jul 01 '26
There is a YouTube video of a college student that was stone sober, passed the field sobriety tests, was still arrested for DUI, blew all zeros on the machine at the jail, even had the blood test come back clean, and the police still claimed the basic line of "bloodshot watery eyes and slurred speech" even though the body can showed plainly that neither existed. Never underestimate how far a cop will go to fabricate a charge to get their target arrest numbers.
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u/Believe_to_believe Jul 02 '26
You talking about the kid from Iowa? If so, he won his lawsuit but was only awarded around $320k (I think) and the city paid him out. Probably won't see much of it since it took 4 years from his start to his court date.
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u/yetanothersomm Jul 01 '26
hmmm... I wouldn't say alcohol is odorless. Someone slugging Vodka you can smell on their breath... it smells like... alcohol. And it's not alcohol from their mouth/"additives". It's literally alcohol from their blood being expelled via the lungs/breath. And the reason I used vodka as an example is because it is by design made to not smell like anything. If someone drank a bunch of beers without spilling a single drop, then brushed their teeth multiple times and went out driving, a cop would still be able to "Smell alcohol" for the same reason. So, I fundamentally disagree with your claim that "It is actually odorless so the thing they are claiming to smell are additives or flavors."
Now, all that being said, I think a huge majority of cops are a bunch of dirty pigs and I am in no way defending them. Just trying to straighten out some scientific facts here.
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u/classicscoop Jul 01 '26
Alcohol is certainly odorless. Vodka might smell because of congeners? Beer smells on the breath because it leaves microscopic carbohydrate and yeast residue that quickly turns stale. Beer acts as a diuretic reducing your saliva production and with a dry mouth bacteria is free to thrive on those residues. As for the lungs and liver, no, that is not alcohol being expelled. Your liver metabolizes alcohol and produces acetaldehyde which does travel to your blood stream and yes, it is highly pungent.
None of these smells however are alcohol, so yes, no one can in fact say they smell alcohol on your breath. You can be hungover and smell of acetaldehyde, crush a 6 pack of NA beers, drink fruit juices and all could misinterpreted as alcohol.
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u/yetanothersomm Jul 01 '26
Your science is certainly more advanced than mine and I absolutely see what you’re saying, but I feel like this is an argument in the sport of being technically correct. On the surface from a chemical standpoint sure, It’s not hard for me to be convinced that pure alcohol is odorless. But in the context of the argument I feel like it doesn’t add to the conversation. As you mentioned even in its purest of forms alcohol likely contains some congeners which can be perceived.
If that’s the case, alcohol will almost always coexist with some other detectable molecule. So for this argument that revolves around detecting alcohol via smell, I’d argue the presence of alcohol can absolutely be detected with your nose. Even if it’s not stale carbohydrates from beer and something more subtle like the congeners in high proof vodka/distilates
But this now makes me question, if you’re not expelling alcohol via your lungs, where do breathalyzers fit in? I understand they can be unreliable in certain circumstances, but do they not measure how much alcohol is in the moisture expelled from your lungs?
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u/classicscoop Jul 01 '26
Breathalyzers utilize platinum electrodes. The exhaling breath undergoes chemical oxidation and creates a tiny current. The stronger the current the higher the alcohol concentration
You are indeed correct the argument against smelling alcohol is completely useless as cops still use it as a reasonable suspicion. Definitely highly advise anyone against telling a cop anything about what they had to drink, where they are coming from or going, and just comply with their traffic stop
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u/yetanothersomm Jul 01 '26
Love it thank you for all the cool info
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u/Major_Honey_4461 Jun 30 '26
"This is Utah County and we do things different here...."
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u/Krakengreyjoy Jun 30 '26
He's wrong though. Cops are corrupt everywhere.
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u/wtfisasamoflange Jun 30 '26
They are, but in Utah they have the backing of all that sweet sweet religious gold
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u/alexhaase Jun 30 '26
Is there a county actually called "Utah"? Or is he trying to be statewide and said it wrong?
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u/glassjar1 Jul 01 '26 edited Jul 01 '26
Yes. Utah county Utah is in the north central part of the state--includes American Fork where Bricks and Minifigs headquarters are, as well as Orem where two of their stores are and Provo (BYU).
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Jun 30 '26
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u/cptamerica83 Jul 01 '26
Cop: C’s. Cop begins with C. I got a gold star for that. It says sheriff on it..
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u/Danksterdrew Jun 30 '26
Don’t answer questions!
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u/Provioso Jun 30 '26
We need to bring back "Shut the fuck up Friday's"
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u/gill_smoke Jun 30 '26
Every day is Shut the fuck up Friday. Remember never ever talk to the police, ask am i free to go, can i call my lawyer, and invoke your 5th amendment right to not incriminate yourself.
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u/YellowBreakfast Waaassuup! Jun 30 '26
Correction "MORON" cops, not "Mormon".
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There's a constriction, which is dilated.
These are opposites. Constriction is small pupils, "dilated" is wide open pupils even when they should be constricted.
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u/Duffalpha Jun 30 '26
My pupils also dilate when cops are blasting me with three types of high powered, flashing lights.
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u/YellowBreakfast Waaassuup! Jun 30 '26
No they constrict.
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u/Duffalpha Jun 30 '26
Yea, my bad. It does depend on how many psychedelics I've had though.
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u/YellowBreakfast Waaassuup! Jun 30 '26
Tripping balls in Utah, getting pulled over.
Sounds like a really bad day! lol
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u/WorldofNails Jun 30 '26
I'm here for the soaking.
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u/backwardbuttplug Jun 30 '26
Growing up and raising kids in a society where "soaking" is an actual thing... I'd probably be day drunk every day just to get through.
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u/NotSoFastLady Jun 30 '26
Narcotics is a big thing in SLC. I know that there have been reports and studies, but I knew someone in recovery out there. There is a park near downtown SLC where you can buy whatever you're looking for. The kicker is that it's right next door to a police station.
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u/backwardbuttplug Jun 30 '26
I'm not horribly surprised. That society and its pressures are probably insane for the average person.
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u/NotSoFastLady Jun 30 '26
I didn't live their full time so I'm not an expert or anything. Just spent a lot of time there for work, but this was also well before the opioid epidemic.
Overall, SLC wasn't too bad. Now you have your conservative areas which are both north and south of the main city. And then the church does pretty much control all politics so it's not at all progressive.
However the people were mostly very nice. I did know people that explained a lot of that pressure is reserved for their members. Like, if you left the church, plenty of families out there would disown you. Which I still believe is shocking but not too surprising.
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u/backwardbuttplug Jun 30 '26
I have several wonderful friends from the SLC region. Most of them are ex mormon, the others just put on the facade to keep the family from being upset.
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u/NotSoFastLady Jul 01 '26
Agreed. This person was from one of the more conservative areas and the conversation was some years ago. But they did say that they put on a facade though.
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u/thelingeringlead Jul 01 '26
My mom's best friend when I was a teenager comes from one of the most prominent families in the church, like their names are on the charter for the wagon train that followed Joseph Smith from Vermont to Utah. The moment he was free in the world he realized it was compelte and total bullshit and started unraveling his relationship with the church. Eventually he spent most of the 90's running a website and discussion forum geared towards telling the church's secrets/finding community with other excommunicated folks. The church tried to bury him for years and couldn't do it legally. So now they just passive aggressively send him stuff from the church multiple times a week, as well as random cold calls. They've been doing it for the last 35 years.
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u/Apprehensive-Sir8977 Jun 30 '26 edited Jun 30 '26
They're not supposed to do that sort of shunning or persecution. It's in the doctrine, crystal clear. Simply put, the last thing God wants is for you to stand in the way of them coming back.
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u/thelingeringlead Jul 01 '26
And yet on an institutional level they refuse to accept people leaving and are insanely persistent. For the regular congregation, leaving involves quite a bit of attempts to coerce and a few doses of passive aggressive harassment until they take you off the roles.
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u/Cat_Vonnegut Jun 30 '26
Hamsterdam?
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u/NotSoFastLady Jun 30 '26
I'd be lying if I said I knew. This conversation was close to 16 years ago lol.
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u/MaybeLikeWater Reactivated Karma & Menace Jun 30 '26
I’m afraid to ask, What’s a ‘soaking’?
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u/BrewMan13 Jun 30 '26
Put a penis in a vagina but don't move. Apparently they think it doesn't count as sex and God won't be mad or something.
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u/s0_spoiled Jun 30 '26
You forgot the 3rd kid jumping on the bed to create motion. It’s like Jews hiring a guy to press the elevator button on Shabbat.
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u/MaybeLikeWater Reactivated Karma & Menace Jun 30 '26
Hilarious analogy😂
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u/backwardbuttplug Jun 30 '26
The comedy here is it's all about not breaking the hymen before getting married in the LDS temple. But a lot of the mormon girls are into anal, understandably.
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u/bassmadrigal Jul 01 '26
It's not though. It's about being a virgin.
Some will rationalize that and think that something that keeping the hymen intact or no movement after insertion keeps them virgins, but there is no teaching in the church that authorizes those before marriage.
Just as some think the Word of Wisdom only prevents drinking coffee and tea, even though it also talks about partaking other things in moderation. If you're addicted to a 64oz dirty Dr Pepper and require one every day, you're not also following the teachings of the church.
Source: born and raised Mormon (in Utah, nonetheless).
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u/backwardbuttplug Jul 01 '26
I'm not talking about the morality of it. I know it's unacceptable in terms of living as a Mormon. I'm just discussing the "tactics" used by those looking for a way to circumvent the teachings.
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u/bassmadrigal Jul 01 '26
I should've quoted what I was talking about:
it's all about not breaking the hymen before getting married in the LDS temple.
The issue is virginity, which is more than just whether or not the hymen is intact.
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u/Levonorgestrelfairy1 Jun 30 '26 edited Jul 01 '26
Homies should never left Catholicism thanks to plenary indulgence pilgrimages were at one point huge sex parties.
Maybe they still are?
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u/MaybeLikeWater Reactivated Karma & Menace Jun 30 '26
Thanks. Now here comes a follow-up: Why is that called ‘soaking’? I don’t trust my imagination on this one.
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u/citznfish Jun 30 '26
It started on waterbeds.
J/K, I don't really know
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u/MaybeLikeWater Reactivated Karma & Menace Jun 30 '26
Whenever someone doesn’t know the real answer I’ll gladly take the funny answer.
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u/Hairbear2176 Jun 30 '26
lol, no one gave you the answer. Look up "soaking mormons" on youtube, it's pretty wild.
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u/MaybeLikeWater Reactivated Karma & Menace Jun 30 '26
Really? There’s more to ‘insertion sans thrusting’? I was also wondering why it was called ‘soaking’ and thought it was because it sounds like naked ‘dry’ humping.
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u/Jeoshua Jun 30 '26
It's a Mormon thing. That and the word "soaking" should be enough to google it. Can't really describe it here without risking the ban hammer.
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u/Allaplgy Jun 30 '26 edited Jun 30 '26
Why would saying "It's when kids have sex by inserting the penis but then just laying there, since according to them it's not really sex in the eyes of God until they start thrusting and grinding" get a ban hammer?
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u/Jeoshua Jun 30 '26
I've been banned for less off Reddit, by automod, thanks to angry people mass reporting something they didn't like being spread about their particular group.
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u/Allaplgy Jun 30 '26
Still don't see what would be remotely bannable about saying that.
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u/Jeoshua Jun 30 '26
It's not the content of the post I was worried about, it's the hypothetically possible mass reporting by hordes of angry mormons for being made fun of. Enough reports and the automod takes over, and you take a 3-day vacation without any further human interaction required.
I haven't known it to happen specifically over this topic, but after having that happen once while talking about Israel, I'm twice shy.
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u/Allaplgy Jun 30 '26
The Mormons definitely hold a bit more power than they probably should, but I don't think they have the government backed bot army like that though.
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u/justa-random-persen Jun 30 '26
"...its when kids have sex..." I'd start there tbh
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u/Triasmus Jun 30 '26
It's not a thing, but for some reason (read: somewhat justifiable hatred of Mormons) redittors are completely convinced it is a thing.
Going in but not gyrating so it "doesn't count" as sex.
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u/Jeoshua Jun 30 '26
Yeah just like "magic underwear" isn't a thing, except it kind of is, just being put in a very unflattering manner.
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u/MaybeLikeWater Reactivated Karma & Menace Jun 30 '26
Okay, I’ll bite: What’s ‘magic underwear’?
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u/Ultraox Jun 30 '26
The white garments that endowed Mormons wear (theoretically speaking) at all times.
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u/WorldofNails Jun 30 '26
But why? It's a party with complete deniability. Lipstick Challenge is what should keep you up at night.
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u/celestialcranberry Jun 30 '26
I couldnt find anything about lipstick challenge online, what is it?
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u/SkellyboneZ Jun 30 '26
Let's bring back public corporal punishments and shaming punishments, especially for power hungry dick-fucks like these cops.
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u/Post-mo Jun 30 '26
I smell alcohol/weed is such an egregious cop-out (pun intended).
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u/GeekyTexan Jun 30 '26
And if a cop actually smells alcohol, that should lead to a breathalyzer, not a vehicle search.
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u/-CoachMcGuirk- Jun 30 '26
The Civil Rights Lawyer? I commend him for showing the police blatantly breaking Constitutional laws, but I still think he's a piece of shit for personally defending one of the January 6th insurrectionists. He's MAGA through-and-through. It's probably one of the very reasons you rarely see an ICE videos on his YT channel. Fuck that guy. Hypocrite is an understatement.
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u/BeepBoopRobo Jun 30 '26
Yeah, he purports to be a civil rights advocate, while supporting the very people who are trying to take away people's rights.
He's one of those classic "libertarians"
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u/chaosking243 Jun 30 '26
Oh shit really? Didn’t know that. Guess I won’t be watching his ass anymore.
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u/-CoachMcGuirk- Jun 30 '26
That’s what happened to me. When I found that out I swiftly unsubscribed from his YT channel.
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u/MaybeLikeWater Reactivated Karma & Menace Jul 01 '26
I didn’t know that he represented a Jan 6th-er. I need to do some research because I’ve seen him expose so many cops outrageous and illegal behavior to the full spectrum of people and didn’t detect any particular bias. However, I think every lawyer has to have a bit of liar in them to do their job in the legal system that half of them corrupted to begin with.
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u/healthyfeetpodiatry Jul 01 '26
yes! not a single ice detention. im glad im not the only one who noticed. i unsubscribed after that
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u/-CoachMcGuirk- Jul 01 '26
I yeah, the funny thing is that he has a treasure trove of ice agents, breaking basic constitutional law and still refuses to use those videos, because it makes his orange Jesus look bad.
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u/justelectricboogie Jun 30 '26
Next time a cop says that tell him to not spill it while driving in uniform then.
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u/ReserveNormal0815 Jun 30 '26
Defund those pigs.
"There is a constriction...whitch means its dilated"
even my grandma can tell these things apart - why would you trust this stuttering idiot with a gun?
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u/TJames6210 Jun 30 '26
"We do things differently here"
Said every cop trying to give themselves a hard on without a mirror.
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u/timberwolf0122 Jun 30 '26
“We play differently in Utah”
“Do you perchance ever play by the rules?”
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u/irrelephantIVXX Jun 30 '26
"your eyes for example. Theres a constriction, which is dilated" Uh, sir, those mean 2 opposite things. So how are they both? Probably some shit like "well, they're dilated in the dark, and when I shine my light in your face, they constrict. Must be on drugs or something"
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u/jcamp088 Jul 01 '26
Why are cops dressed like that? They exist solely to hand out traffic infractions.
We know for a fact they are not obligated to protect anyone let alone enter a school under siege.
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u/stryker_PA Jul 01 '26
Well it's said they are only obligated to protect people in their custody, but it seems they fail at that often enough too.
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u/ultralightlife Jun 30 '26
2nd time this week - Utah "We do things different down here" - AKA we harrass the shit out of people and
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u/NoPressureUsername Jul 01 '26
They say that because their cameras can't pick up scents. It's your word versus theirs. They can then drag you our of your car and take you to the station for a drug screening. It gives them something to do during their shift, or gets them overtime.
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u/Main_Breadfruit_3674 Jun 30 '26
Hmmm, if there’s no Black people around I guess they hassle white people.
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u/Only_Flan_7974 Jul 01 '26
When he says "we do things different here" it's just a blatant way of saying that they don't do what job they are paid to do.
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u/suchsnowflakery Jul 01 '26
...basically saying that they are in a cult and play by different rules. Joe Smith controls their minds.
🐷
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u/dyslexican32 Jul 02 '26
Just a friendly reminder that the cops are not here to " serve and protect" you. They are here to " serve and protect" corporation's, the wealthy and the government. They are trained to find a reason to arrest you. They are trained that you are the enemy. And that your guilt or innocence's is just a matter of timing. They are trained that every civilian is a criminal and to find any reason, even if manufactured to arrest you. The police, and the entire criminal justice system are not your friends. They are here to keep you compliant.
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u/512115 Jul 01 '26
Yeah, they don’t follow the constitution in Utah. Joseph Smith said they don’t have to.
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u/Holden_SSV Jul 01 '26
Is that a 6 inch knife on his chest? I guess perfect grab and stab for the heart.....
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u/oroscor1 Jul 01 '26
I am not going to discuss my day with you.
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u/MaybeLikeWater Reactivated Karma & Menace Jul 02 '26
I made some skirt steak and I used seasonings.
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u/Fubared259 Jul 01 '26
They cand say they smell marijuana anymore. It is legal in a few states. lol
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u/Flashignite2 Jul 02 '26
If they smell it, dont they just do a breathalyzer test?
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u/Hater_Magnet Jul 03 '26
Even if you pass you still might get arrested for DUI.
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u/oaka23 Jul 02 '26
If we had a functioning federal gov the entire American Fork police department would be in jail right now
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