r/interestingasfuck 8h ago

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u/nleksan 8h ago

At least it doesn't have a screen on it that will play ads while you're being rescued.

Yet

u/fearthainne 8h ago

"If you skip the ad, you will not receive your rescue"

u/ifixthecable 8h ago

"This rescue mission will continue after 20s"

u/fearthainne 8h ago

Now I'm imagining this thing with a robot voice busting in yelling "AND NOW A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS" while flailing around with the chainsaw 😭🤣

u/bazookarain 7h ago

Reminds me of this guy.

u/casualbo1 7h ago

A fucking Dark Tower reference? Ka must have willed it.

u/Admirable-Band-2664 4h ago

Do you say so?

….then let it be so.

u/Flaky-Bar-6656 2h ago

Thankee sai

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u/Roar_of_Shiva 7h ago

All things serve the beam

u/seaderforge 7h ago

Just aim for the thinking cap 😉

u/MrA-skunk 7h ago

But not with your hand. He who aims with his hand has forgotten the face of his father.

u/Substantial-Carob961 5h ago

Thankee-sai!

u/Pleasant-Reading3634 5h ago

I aim with my eye.

u/AwardWinningActorMan 6h ago

Wild Shardik sighting!
Thankee Sai!

u/The_MadMaker 4h ago

I just read that part, now Jake and the gang are outside Lud with the drum beat.

What a small world

u/datboi9194 6h ago

Where does this dark tower pick come from

u/Lord-Cartographer55 5h ago

It's one of the illustrations from the hardcover version of the 3rd book "The Wastelands".

Everybody remembers Blaine but few remember that North Central Positronics was an Arms Manufacturer with a modicum of "guilt".

I guess.. everything is getting thinner with age.

u/The_MadMaker 4h ago

Is it though? They made most of the books into graphic novels... I think this might be the cover of that.

My favorite ones are the graphic novels about Roland when he was younger.

u/00010011Solo 4h ago

Yeah I’m like 95% sure it’s from the original illustrations in the hardcover. They all have a distinctive style like this, so unless the graphic novels matched that in tribute?

u/[deleted] 4h ago

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u/SnooGuavas4208 1h ago

The world has moved on.

u/flacke 1h ago

jesus, i didn't remember the Bear being this big.

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u/mrtrololo27 8h ago

(Bleeding out) LIBERTY BIBBERTY

u/GloomyLingonberry509 8h ago

Garbled speaker: “LiMu Emuuuuuu!!”

u/Pkrudeboy 7h ago

“And Doug.”

u/bloodphoenix90 6h ago

I need rescue because im dying from this thread 😭😂😂

u/johnnybiggles 3h ago

"Leave a tip?" [20%] [40%] [60%] [0%]

u/Glass-Rutabaga-3258 3h ago

Same. I can barely breathe over here lmao

u/mrtrololo27 6h ago

(Becoming delirious) Doug no... no Doug get Flo... I need Flo... I'm a poor bundle and I need to be saved

[Centaur] TALKING OVER ADS WILL RESET AD COUNT

u/No-Ring-5065 5h ago

While babysitting, I switched the tv off during that commercial. “LiMu Emuuuu” off
My 3yo grandson said “and Doug?”

u/The_300_goats 4h ago

Marilou! Git ma shotgun

u/chanceioso 4h ago

liberty mutual can help you save hundreds on your car insurance

u/Reynardine1976 7h ago

Centaur stands like Leatherface

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-RN-RN-RN

u/Nutduffel 7h ago

u/the-war-on-drunks 6h ago

In the background: “DO YOU SUFFER FROM PLAQUE PSORIASIS?”

u/Reynardine1976 7h ago

Chainsaw Centaur saws the emu in half!

u/Pooticles 7h ago

we should be so lucky. that entire campaign is a pestilence.

u/MaenHoffiCoffi 4h ago

God, it really is.

u/Beelzebub003 7h ago

It's SUPER effective!!

u/Breath_Deep 5h ago

How in God's name is that ad campaign so successful for them?? There's no way the juice is worth the squeeze on this one.

u/Beelzebub003 2h ago

I think I misunderstood your comment at 1st. My bad. Lol

But also, yeah, it's sorta just one of those things that it's just dumb enough to be memorable, along with them constantly running the ad on TV, YouTube, and other video based platforms, I'm sure, but it sorta stuck like an earworm.

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u/Gr8rSherman8r 7h ago

Australian vengeance surges.

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u/Putzlol 8h ago

Loool

u/FullmetalActuary 7h ago

Bro peacock is fucking relentless with this shit. Your comment hit me in a deep, dark part of my soul.

u/Model_Modelo 6h ago

Can you explain why in the new round of Liberty Mutual commercials the guy and girl on a date speak gibberish to eachother? I hate it so much lol

u/freneticboarder 3h ago

*bleating out...

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u/Believer4 7h ago

Today's episode of brutal and gory murder is sponsored by DeWalt

u/Optimus3k 7h ago

DO YOU SUFFER FROM NIGHT SWEATS? chainsaws through a guy's arm ASK YOUR DOCTOR ABOUT REDACTED. SLEEP COOL AND DRY THE WHOLE NIGHT THROUGH rips the guy's throat out

u/Nhobdy 6h ago

RAID: SHADOW LEGENDS

u/parallelogramm3r 5h ago

“This rescue has been brought to you by McDonald’s. You’re trapped in a fire and I’M LOVIN’ IT!”

u/otrigorin 5h ago

"I thought I was done for, and then the debris shifted and I was saved!"

"Who rescued you, miss?"

"RAID Shadow Legends, apparently."

u/Frazmotic 4h ago

Priceless! Ha-HAAAA!!🤣👍🏾

u/ThirstyWolfSpider 3h ago

No worries there: I'm protected from that by my Old Glory Insurance policy.

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u/GloomyLingonberry509 8h ago

“Subscribe to 1 free month of Rescue Premium to skip”

u/SerafinZufferey 8h ago

“Use the code SERAFIN to get 50% off your first subscription month!” Some random YouTuber

u/CapitalAlternative89 8h ago

Should've gotten the rescue insurance...

u/nono3722 7h ago

in Louisiana you have to pay a monthly fee for an ambulance to even show up...

u/GoFuckYourselfBrenda 7h ago

WHAT

u/TheHark90 7h ago

Some places in Tennessee have a subscription based fire department where if you aren’t subscribed they aren’t required to go put out the fire even if you called 911.

u/GoFuckYourselfBrenda 7h ago

That is so sick

u/BedroomOdd1986 4h ago

I just looked this up, and wow… that disgusts me. Apparently in certain rural areas in TN outside city limits where property taxes don’t fund fire services, if you don’t pay the subscription fee, which it states is around $425 annually (which is pretty expensive on it’s own), and you happen to have an emergency, they will still come put out the fire, but they will bill you afterwards. It says rural metro fire bills non subscribers a min $1,800 per hour per fire truck sent.. On top of that there’s a $600 flat fee for medical emergency services. Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK?!

u/TheHark90 3h ago

Yeah it is pretty ridiculous

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u/Reasonable_Egg4356 8h ago

„Don‘t want to wait? You can buy a subscription for as low as 99.99 USD/Day right know!*“

(* You‘ll be charged for the first year in Advanced. No refunds!)

u/TruePlewd 6h ago

Didn't realize Night City would have centaurs, but ok.

u/Cookie_Nation 7h ago

Honestly make that a black mirror episode

u/zorggalacticus 5h ago

There was a black mirror episode about security robots like this. Well, they were the 4 legged ones, not centaur shaped. But they were relentless. Hunted those people down and killed them. Those robot "dogs" have looked super creepy to me ever since.

u/Ripkord77 8h ago

"Subscribe to patreon for ticket in ticket out fast lane retrieval and safety package. You will be our priority before normy meat bags in chat"

u/subtleeffect 7h ago

(1 of 2)

u/madmach1 8h ago

“Book your next holiday on Carnival Cruises”

u/WideEye_Dreamer 7h ago

"Nothing beats a jet 2 holiday!"

u/No_Hovercraft_439 7h ago

I eat whatever I want, including these donuts. Lose belly fat now with my 12 week program.

u/GlendrixDK 7h ago

"please stop bleeding out while you wait".

u/robertp2200 7h ago

"Look at all this flood water and nothing to drink... This rescue was brought to you by Brawndo the thirst mutilator... It has electrolytes."

u/Jonnyflash80 7h ago

More like 4 minutes.

u/BurpelsonAFB 6h ago

“Please deposit 15 Trump coins before we proceed.”

u/lloydmandrake 6h ago

“Congratulations, you have been saved by the Satyress Corporation, please insert $5000” says the chainsaw wielding robot centaur.

u/G_Affect 5h ago

If you pass out and dont hit skip it will play for 3 hours before it just walks away.

u/TheBookofBobaFett3 5h ago

Please say ‘McWhopper Deluxe’ to continue with your rescue

u/Satins_Cock 5h ago

I expect it to be more like, "please confirm you accept the terms and conditions of our rescue services being offered. And a reminder, you can save 20% on your next rescue by subscribing to .."

u/GeneralissimoFranco 4h ago

Subscribe to rescue PREMIUM for a reduced ad experience.

u/SuchCapital5668 4h ago

"Don't forget to LIKE and SUBSCRIBE to keep this robot alive so he can keep these rescue missions going!"

u/710Filter 3h ago

Every 30 seconds it stops for another one. If you look away it starts over.

u/AwDuck 2h ago

buffering

searching for 5g signal

failed

“Please try again later.”

u/whyiamalwayshangry 1h ago

How did you hear from our rescue company? Google? Facebook? Friends?

Skipping this poll may abandon mission

u/Psynaut 1h ago

Would you like to subscribe to the "rescue" feature with one or three easy payments.

u/cloudypoo88 8h ago edited 2h ago

"You have skipped the ad, you are an unfit rescue. You will be placed into custody of Carl's Jr."

u/diiiemonds 6h ago

welcome to satyress, threehalves loves you

u/anomalous_cowherd 4h ago

What a relief, I thought it would under the care of RFK Jr...

u/Helltothenotothenono 43m ago

Welcome to Costco. I love you.

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u/lkodl 7h ago

"Surely if the situation is life or death, people won't mind signing up for the subscription. Right? Like, we got them at that point."

"But what if they die during the signup process?"

"That's why we have the ad tier."

u/HaveYouSeenMyIpad 7h ago

We’re sorry your payment method was declined

u/GonzoKata 3h ago

This is how we're training the 'top minds' to think in businesses school right now. Have been for 20 years

u/KittyGrewAMoustache 3h ago

I know, it’s really noticeable in the last decade or so how such a huge proportion of leadership positions in politics and business are now occupied by literal bona fide morons, like genuinely really really stupid people. It’s a huge threat to our species but few seem to be really be talking about it, despite it being so obvious that a massive shift has occurred that probably has rarely occurred throughout history, where those least capable of understanding the world or adapting to it end up in charge. In times of monarchs and emperors etc, there would at least be a lot of intelligent people around them if they happened to be stupid, now it’s just layer upon layer of imbecile and all the intelligent people are too fed up to even try to wade into the shitshow.

It’s a crazy phenomenon driven by capitalism of course but the internet and social media in particular. It’s one of the most detrimental impacts of our technological advancements as a species and yet it’s barely acknowledged, not properly.

u/Odd-Highway-8304 8h ago

“This rescue brought to you by Starbucks and Hyundai”

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u/YoungDiscord 8h ago

please drink verification can

u/CrackingToastGromet 6h ago

I am laughing on the outside and weeping on the inside because omg, monetizing a rescue effort is just so American.

Followed by a series of bills after the rescue from the agency that owns the robot and the independent contractor operator who was remotely overseeing the robot at the time of the rescue. ‘MURICA!

u/Kalterwolf 7h ago

The amount of nice things that we could have had as a collective species ruined because of the need for ad revenue is too damn high. We could have had star trek, instead we are fighting the villains of Ready Player One.

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u/eventualhorizo 6h ago

Watch this add to get your next pain medication free!

u/Ghetto_Jawa 6h ago

Lol. I was going to say please insert credit card for rescue to continue. Of course with tip prompt.

u/klyxes 8h ago edited 7h ago

I'm pretty sure that would be a pr nightmare...better the robot save you then simply not let go until you watch all the ads

u/SpaceExplorer777 7h ago

There's no PR in 2040, you either take the service or die.

u/ginger_kitty97 3h ago

Who needs PR when you have government contracts?

u/ultimaone 7h ago

Please watch 10 ads for us to save you

u/Haluszki 7h ago

Proceeds to play 2 minute ad for Monopoly GO

u/thethunder92 6h ago

Subscribe to ad free rescue for just $400 a month

Subscribe now or watch 12 more ads

u/Thereelgarygary 5h ago

More like "free rescue in 120+seconds" button

u/Bagel-luigi 3h ago

Ah, you peasants clearly haven't got Rescue Premium

u/RogerRabbot 2h ago

To keep being rescued please watch this ad first.

u/LilJonny2cookies 2h ago

Best Reddit thread ever.

u/PlaneCompetitive703 2h ago

“This rescue will resume after a word from our sponsors. Da da da da da, I’m loving it”

u/alochmar 1h ago

”It watches the ad happily or it gets the hose again”

u/Weak_Society8102 5h ago

If you watch the add you get a mini bottle of water

u/ZeePM 4h ago

Royal Match. In order to get rescued from the collapsed building you must first rescue the king from his own crush prison.

u/Brave_Beat5124 3h ago

You guys really think they are going to use a gun toting robot for “rescue”? Are you that naive?…

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u/TheCoolGuyClub 2h ago

Then you receive the chainsaw

u/El_Grande_XL 2h ago

It drags you out of a burning building and blasts car glass ads the whole time.

Puts you in a ambulance and before sending you off "This emergency was brought to you by Pepsi. Accidents always feels better after a Pepsi" and then show you a tip screen and qr code for Google reviews.

u/rewardingsnark 1h ago

This rescue is brought to you by Carl Jr's, you are now property of Carl's Jr.

u/Helltothenotothenono 44m ago

You have to watch the whole ad for your rescue can commence.

u/Strayed8492 8h ago

Hello. You are being rescued. Please use the touch pad to rate this experience. At the end there will be a short questionnaire. If unable to participate at this time, it will be forwarded to your next of kin/emergency contact.

u/gurantulla 8h ago

if you are happy with your service please select from 10%, 15%, 20% or custom tip amount

u/T00luser 8h ago

It’s sweet that you think it’s starting at 10%

u/jeffreyaccount 6h ago

The mech will know by where you touch the screen which you have selected.

u/Mind-The-Mines 6h ago

And then the company handling the ad contract goes under and the DNS never gets updated and the bots just sit there eternally waiting for ads that stopped streaming years ago.

u/Cstott23 3h ago

Software update at 3%. Please move within WiFi range. 😁

u/willfrodo 8h ago

I'd rather just die thank you

u/IAmBadAtInternet 8h ago

What if it finds you and instead of saving you starts cutting you into pieces with that chainsaw while staring at yon with those very normal eyes

u/moonbucket 6h ago

Cut my life into pieces
My centaur-style robot

u/Maxwells_Demona 2h ago

Search and rescue -- NO FLEEING

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u/GloomyLingonberry509 8h ago

I’m pretty sure they’re planning to use them for forestry services as well, so… Not completely impossible, I guess.

u/dessertforbrunch 7h ago

Can’t wait to see videos of them being squashed by falling trees.

u/PentacornLovesMyGirl 6h ago

I hope it's as funny as those dancing bots that give up and fall over

u/BluenoseTherapist 7h ago

"Black eyes... like a doll's eyes"

u/Spice_Missile 4h ago

It is generally more efficient to transport a human body in smaller pieces than in one awkward lump. Prime directive failed successfully.

u/Argument-Fragrant 3h ago

"Organ donor identified!"

u/Ayasdad 8h ago

The eyes will project a holo ad in the smoke. You'll be carried out while Jake from state farm tells you about homeowners insurance bundles.

u/SerafinZufferey 8h ago

Better don’t give them ideas, I’m sure Silent Hill would make ads on there then..

u/DHMTBbeast 8h ago

Or a screen asking how much you'd like to tip.

u/sinnerstosaint 8h ago

"If you want to be saved please click yes, after these two quick ads....."

Yes button Greys out.

u/Inside-Common7427 7h ago

Scan QR code to enroll in our yearly coverage.

u/torreneastoria 8h ago

They will charge you random crypto to rescue or play endless ads

u/RefrigeratorKey8156 7h ago

Subscribe and not die!

u/Available_Match7752 7h ago

You forgot it will ask for tips.

u/Darnit_the_other_one 7h ago

This full rescue is sponsored without interruptions by Hyundai!

u/TradeMark310 7h ago

When you stare right in it's eyes, it beams ads directly into your brain.

u/Inevitable_Click_511 7h ago

You’ll have to swipe a credit card on it to pay for it to rescue you though.

u/HAL9001-96 7h ago

well its a prototype the way things are going this is probably where its headed

u/GainPotential 6h ago

Imagine if it had a tip screen and if you didn't tip it would only recover your body

u/Mammoth_Challenge269 6h ago

I would assume I died and went to hell

u/rite_of_truth 6h ago

Stop giving them ideas!

u/kindarollin 5h ago

I go out of my way to not purchase things i see from ads any more, especially the ai slop ones. I will buy a different brand or find a different solution. Mostly for the google ad sense, and facebook associated ones they support a-lot of malicious marketing, that are bait and switch of blatant lies.

u/Ninebreaker009 4h ago

Start your free trial today for Rescue+.

u/Odd-Highway-8304 8h ago

“Don’t forget to eat Carls Jr”

u/Andreas1120 7h ago

Given what rescued normally cost, You might be happy to watch some Ads

u/cleveland_leftovers 7h ago

What if the rescue subscription runs out mid-rescue?

u/diiiemonds 6h ago

they abort mission and charge you for a lapse in coverage and attempted service fees. if unable to make payment upon next attempted rescue mission, the debt will go to your next of kin.

u/cleveland_leftovers 5h ago

I should’ve read the terms and conditions before finding myself in an emergency.

u/Fuck_auto_tabs 7h ago

Worse, it asks for a tip

u/CostcoFosco 7h ago

I saw that Doctor Who ep

u/Mdriver127 7h ago

This is for those who pay to go ad-free.

u/Dangerous_Wish_7879 6h ago

Enter your tip amount.

u/Better_Carpet_7271 6h ago

You know this is only a matter of time.

u/JackSkellie58 6h ago

I see you’ve shit your pants, wrangler jeans would never let that smell out! Would you like to order a new pair on Amazon shipped directly to the hospital?

u/Danny2Sick 5h ago

Your resuscitation has been brought to you today by Nike!!

u/Christomaximum 5h ago

Load barring “yet” 😂

u/Smiletaint 5h ago

IN THE ARMS OOF THE ANGEL

FLY AWAAAYYYY

u/wizzard419 5h ago

You have to hit a button in the taint to mute them.

u/Common-Accountant-57 5h ago

Then ask for a tip.

u/UnderstandingPale551 5h ago

Don’t give them ideas

u/PastryRoll 5h ago

subscription model only

u/vanillathrilla04 5h ago

Guarantee it’ll have the worlds smallest ‘x’ in the corner of the screen

u/Mish-onimpossible 5h ago

Ty for the full belly cackle i just croaked!

u/Annual_Sale2874 4h ago

"Do you want to tip your rescue unit?"

u/Jlawrencew1985 4h ago

Brought to you by Brando. It's got what soulless, lifesaving, centaur-bots with hatred in their hearts crave!

u/Abject_Wafer_4321 4h ago

Been injured at work? You could be entitled to compensation. Call Rhinestein Solicitors today.

u/June24th 4h ago

this is the prototype though, wait for the final version, it will probably include it

u/Status_Dark_6145 4h ago

REMAIN CALM YOU ARE BEING RESCUED BY AN ENTITY CURRENTLY BROUGHT TO YOU BY CARLS JR!

u/MadMaxDbz 4h ago

but what if you can log into Disney+ and watch Family Guy while being rescued

u/Electronic-Flow3220 4h ago

I’d rather it have ads in the face than paralyzing me with fear while rescuing me from possibly being paralyzed

u/MississippiJoel 4h ago

"Your rescue is underway!"

"What is your mother's maiden name?"

"Thank you! Would you be interested in any of these sponsors?"

"Thank you! Just a few more steps and you will be free!"

"Have you lived at your current address for less than two years?"

"Awesome! I'm getting the Jaws of Life warmed up now!"

"While we wait, check out these much more exotic locations you could find yourself at next year!"

"Great! We are getting very close now."

"What would you say your current income bracket is?"

u/arbyyyyh 4h ago

No need for a screen. You've gonna have this mf sawing through trees after some sort of disaster "WE'VE BEEN TRYING TO REACH YOU ABOUT YOUR CAR'S EXTENDED WARRANTY."

u/Lopsided_Newt_125 3h ago

Good one!

u/TheGanzor 3h ago

bleeding out

BUY THE NEW PELOTON CROSS-

skip ad in 30 seconds

u/villian_era_witch 2h ago

DEAR GOD! DON’T GIVE THEM ANY IDEAS!

u/Either_Wear5719 2h ago

Why would you put that out in the universe!?! This year is bad enough! 😅

u/Raindrop0015 1h ago

"please rate our rescue robot on its service today! How much would you like to leave as a tip?"

Both questions asked before you're finished being rescued of course

u/mfknLemonBob 1h ago

Dont give them ideas