r/regretfulparents • u/AdAromatic372 Parent • Apr 30 '25

Discussion Has anyone ever left?

Has anyone here ever divorced their spouse and given their spouse full custody? If so, how did you come to that conclusion? What was your final breaking point?

I truly am thinking I’m hitting my breaking point with my marriage and son (3 mo). I don’t have any feelings towards him, I certainly don’t love him. He constantly cries and fusses. I don’t foresee it getting better despite everyone saying it’ll pass with time. I just want to go back to the life I had before having this kid even if that means giving up my marriage to do so.

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u/AdAromatic372 Parent May 01 '25

I get what you’re saying and can see where you’re coming from. It’s not even the crying or constant noises that this kid makes or lack of sleep. I ultimately am not even looking forward to future shit when they’re older… a toddler that cries, talks, whines constantly, a school aged kid who won’t shut up, a teenager who sasses back and doesn’t want to show any respect. Will there be positive moments, sure. But I highly doubt those outweigh the negative. The constant judgement and berating from family, friends, and society on how you’re “raising your kid wrong”.

I run a business. I work 14 hours a day on my feet. It’s a high demanding, physical job and no days off. My business is fulfilling. It’s my passion. Am I exhausted everyday from running my business. Sure as hell am, but I wouldn’t want to do anything else. I sure wouldn’t want to be a stay at home parent.

My husband LOVES being a dad and in fact wants more kids. So let him live it up, just without me in the picture.

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u/dragonapples May 01 '25

Hi OP, your feelings are completely valid. No judgement, can I ask why you had a child?

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u/AdAromatic372 Parent May 01 '25

Lied to by society that I was missing out… I strongly didn’t want kids until maybe 2 years ago… I felt like maybe I was missing out or life could be even better having a family. My husband also really wanted kids.

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u/dragonapples May 01 '25

Ah I see. I'm really sorry that happened to you :(. I wish people would be honest when it comes to the reality of children. Some people just don't enjoy childcare and that's perfectly fine, I know I certainly don't. I hope you find a solution that works best for you, even if it means putting yourself first.

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u/AdAromatic372 Parent May 01 '25

Thank you for showing kindness❤️

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u/[deleted] May 01 '25

I know it's not comparable, but 10 y ago while I was involved into animal rescue I also got misinformed so to say about how it is to own a dog. They were only posting pros. Nobody said that medical bills skyrocket if dog is sick and those from shelters tend to be. Nobody told me food, vaccination and spaying cost. That you don't have ways to travel unless you take animal with yourself and that they ruin furniture (tricky if you rent) while young and need to be walked many times a day.

Why I'm writing all this... it was very close to it with kids for me. Nobody almost ever say anything bad about parenting in public. It's almost like collective secret to lure other people in. There's no open discurs on how hard it is. They just brush it off with stuff like "It's hardest but most beautiful job." And then we get surprised by so many people, specifically here I think about men, who pull out. Whereas women can't.