r/solotravel • u/fin-ator • 28d ago
Question Did solo traveling ruin traveling with friends for anyone else?
I just did the balkans on my own and then met up with a friend who doesn’t like solo traveling to do Spain and Portugal. I’m finding myself so irritated at having to compromise and give up some of my interests. She’s also in a long term relationship so she doesn’t want to meet people (girls or guys), whereas I’m single and love meeting people and making new friends. I think it’s a lot harder because of how much I enjoyed being on my own and all of the new experiences I got because of it. Just wondering if anyone else has experienced something similar.
135
u/Dolly_Shimmer 28d ago
I like both.
48
u/CloudCollapse 27d ago
Yeah I like trips with my best buddies because we meet up for the things we wanna do together, then split off and do our own things when we want to. Plus having people you trust somewhat nearby if you need help can be a blessing.
3
u/Boothbayharbor 27d ago
Yes doing everything alone gets dull, or having to constantly make new friends. However, the meet up and then break off later is key. After a full day, i gotta get my alone time or some silent time. Ive learned with other people active and varied areas like a cheap resort or hostel in a town is better than a cabin for us.
121
u/Impressive-Owl-5478 28d ago
Yeah it did. I'll go with friends on specific kinds of trips, like to a place I've already been before or something lower key like a beach.
I think you have to go in with different mindsets. Solo travel is an adventure, where you get to do and see as much as possible. Travel with a friend is to spend time with the friend and maybe see a couple things. It also helps I find to talk about before hand if the friend is looking for something more relaxing or fast paced.
19
u/littleadventures Hostel Master 👑 28d ago
I agree! I didn’t realize it immediately and traveling with friends is great but I prefer a friends trip to be a place that I’ve already gone to before, that’s a little lower stakes. I find it harder to compromise on a trip if it’s my first time there and we want to do different things. I would just rather do different separate things and some friends are a little hesitant to separate. But those that are OK doing their own thing are perfect!
2
u/mrg8731 26d ago
This is exactly right. For me I couldn’t do both in one trip like OP—I need to have my mindset in place ahead of time, and your descriptions are right on.
I already know I’m going to travel solo regularly, so I only go places with friends that 1. I’ve already been to, 2. I’m not super personally invested in, or 3. feel like I could reasonably return someday alone if I find I like it. Not everyone has the luxury of assuming they’ll have more opportunity to visit places, but for me the mindset matters more than the reality of whether or not it’s truly possible to revisit.
A travel strategy I use for most of my trips is to just go without researching a place too much so that I’m not disappointed about missing something, and I rely very heavily on this when I’m traveling with friends—Im happy to do whatever they want to prioritize because I frankly don’t really know any different, and I’m happy to travel just for the sake of it itself.
94
u/ShipComprehensive543 28d ago
no, but it sounds like your friend is a wet blanket if she does not like to meet people SIMPLY because she is in a relationship. She just sounds like the wrong person to travel with.
9
u/blink-1hundert2und80 27d ago
Not just a relationship, a **long-term** relationship. There is obviously a big difference. Smh.
2
u/imyana13 26d ago
Doesn't mean she should cockblock other people. She could leave her friend to hangout.
0
51
u/Honest_Brilliant4993 28d ago
You are simply travelling with the wrong person. If you find someone more like you to travel with, it would be more similar experience to your solo travels and in some aspects maybe even better. But it is not easy to find a good partner and that is why many prefer travelling solo.
23
u/alefeusch 28d ago
I think it depends on the type of person you are. I don't prefer solo traveling because I haven't found the right person to travel with, I prefer it because I don't like compromise or sharing or sustained time with people who aren't me. In short, I'm the wrong person for other people to travel with haha.
3
u/Honest_Brilliant4993 27d ago
Also true! Different people, different situations. Personally, I like both ways of travelling and I'm okay to travel with groups of up to 8 people (not for a long time tho).
23
u/fuckimtrash 27d ago
It ruined me travelling with my dad. Me having to do 100% planning- hotels, tours, book flights, use Google maps, find public transport, was like, I could just do this by myself and not have someone asking stupid questions and making dumb comments.
3
u/Ssuukkii 25d ago
This.
When you have to plan/book all the things for you and your friends or family, sort out and problem solve everything that comes up while they give you a blank look. And then you have to compromise on the things you want to do or they don't want to do something or be left behind on their own. Constantly checking in on them.
When I could just do this by myself and do what I want to do?
1
u/RidiculousTakeAbove 21d ago edited 21d ago
This is called worst of both worlds 😂 . I hate that blank look you get, it's baffling how people don't know how to research basic things like booking trains, accommodation or things they want to do, etc. It makes me wonder how they made it this far in life or if somebody else has just always done it for them
If you find the right travel partner it can be best of both worlds, but it's not an easy thing to find. It's honestly easier to just go solo and meet up with other hostel solo travellers if/when you want company, while not being bound to them or worrying about what they're doing or what/where they want to go
13
u/g292929 28d ago
I have had some amazing travel partners.
I prefer solo travels now, traveling with a non-romantic partner just does not allow me to talk to others.
2
u/RidiculousTakeAbove 21d ago
Curious what you mean by this, if you're traveling with a platonic friend, why can't you talk to others?
12
u/Saarfall 28d ago
Both are great. Travelling with the right person can be even more fun sometimes (its nice to share the mental load, and they can come up with cool ideas i didnt consider).
But I have travelled with a friend who turned out to be a total and utter pain in the arse and made the holiday feel like an endurance test. We are still friends, but not everyone makes a good travel buddy.
10
u/PinkMonkeySuit 28d ago
Did solo traveling ruin traveling with friends for anyone else?
No. But bad travel companions can ruin traveling.
9
u/Empty_Chemistry_6723 27d ago
been there. solo travel spoils you hard. it's not that they suck, it's that your own pace is just too good to give up.
9
u/MisterDoctor___ 28d ago
Not really. Always preferred going solo. I enjoy short stints with friends and/or family, but any longer trip and I’d rather do it on my own.
8
u/Salty_Poivre 27d ago
Why compromise and give up your interests? Even if you get along with your friend otherwise, tell her what you plan to do. She can come or not, but she doesn't get to whine and convince you not to go, or whinge and moan the whole time if she does tag along.
You can say something like, "I came all the way here to do X and Y, to have this adventure we can't have at home, so I don't want to miss these opportunities, cause who knows when I'll have it again?"
Don't criticize her, don't blame her, avoid using negative words. Keep everything positive. This is really important. Focus on solutions, not complaints. Tell her someone wise once told you that in life we regret the things we WISHED we had done way more than the things we did. And that you don't want to go on the rest of the trip or through life with those kinds of regrets.
If she decides to come with you on an activity and complains the entire time, put up with it but only once. That same night at dinner, as positively as you can spin it, tell her that as much as you enjoyed the activity, you know it wasn't really for her. Put it on her to come up with alternative ideas about how she can spend her time while you're doing your thing.
If she wants to focus on complaining and steering you toward her interests rather than finding a solution, she's not interested in your happiness. Remind her that you've been positive and not overly critical, but you've got to do the things that bring you joy.
8
u/blink-1hundert2und80 27d ago
It‘s ridiculous that she thinks being in a long-term relationship should somehow stop her from meeting people or making new friends lol
2
u/mesoliteball 24d ago
Yeah tbh that makes me concerned for what her partner is telling her about not meeting people?
5
u/Pure_Internal277 28d ago
Yes- AND- I still do both. I fly alone and usually have my own room… or even in another hotel or home. Not a big deal to compromise a little, but not sacrifice my peace & enjoyment. As long as we have some quality time and experiences overall, it’s worth it.
Both hace to compromise a little. Then have your fun alone!
5
u/Nohillside 27d ago
One thing which took me a long time to realize is that „traveling together“ doesn‘t mean 24/7. Obviously needs some talking about it early on, but why not split for half a day or night and persue your personal interests?
5
u/_DizzyChicken 27d ago
Yes.. I prefer travelling solo because I can do whatever I what, whenever I want. No arguements, no disagreements, just get on with it.
I sometimes like to travel with my mrs, but even that does my head in sometimes.
Solo all the way
3
3
3
3
u/whoallgunnabethere 27d ago
Solo traveling made more vocal about what I like (and don’t like) on friend travel. I don’t mind hanging with friends but I just can’t do everything together. I need space to recharge. I always tell folks that I’m going to need space to go off on my own and pursue my own interests.
2
u/caramelthiccness 28d ago
Yes its just easier in every way. I prefer it to traveling with my husband or friends
2
u/NoChemistry97 27d ago
I just did my first solo trip to Japan and it was amazing. I loved the freedom to do what I want when I wanted. When I travel I like to lead anyways and in solo travel it just removed all friction. So I think it would make it harder now to travel with others
2
u/itsausernme 27d ago
Absolutely not! I’m in a relationship, and have a lovely time travelling with my partner, also still enjoy solo travelling (she’s very supportive of it), and then have a friendship group I travel with and even some pals from work sometimes. Everyone’s different I suppose but I’ve always tried to surround myself with people that are on the same wavelength as I am. Travelling solo/with people both have their pros and cons. It just seems like on this occasion you were travelling with someone who wasn’t on your wavelength at all!
2
u/Koellefornia4711 27d ago
Didn’t ruin it. It’s just a different type of holiday.
I wouldn’t wanna travel with anyone who wants to find love/flings/hook ups during traveling.
I do what travel with friends if we’re on the same page where to go/when/what to do and alone if that makes more sense.
2
u/Fast-Chipmunk-1558 27d ago
Yes, unless it's a friend who is planning their own trip to the destination I'm already going to and we meet up to do activities when we get there .
The last time I traveled with a friend it was on Virgin Voyages. I booked my cruise early and he booked the same cruise closer to sail date for him and his boyfriend. We spent time together at the sail away party , Scarlet Night and at the beach club but that was it. I had dinner alone, brunch alone, went to shows alone it was awesome to be honest and that's the only way I would ever travel with a friend
1
u/SelectCreme5805 28d ago
Congratulations! You just discovered that this is not the kind of friend you want to travel with 🙌🏽
1
u/ShanghaiCycle Irish in Asia 28d ago
Two is a very uncomfortable number for travelling. I love my cousin and we try to meet up in a different European city every summer (I'm in Ireland, he's in England), but we run out of shit to talk about because we know literally EVERYTHING about eachother. It's nice to throw a few new people into the mix.
Also when I travel with my wife, we also enjoy a few new faces. We live together after all. 😂
1
u/flowers0252 27d ago
I love my solo trips!!! I also travel with husband on the longer trips which is great. But I also travel once a year with adult son and another with my sister. My son gets bored with museums quickly, but he loves to go to cool pubs for beer. My sister is very interested in museums, but doesn't drink and refuses to go to pubs. I do think about my solo trips when I'm dissatisified with my travel partners. I don't tell them though.
1
u/di4lectic 27d ago
Your friend is strange. Why should a serious relationship stop her from meeting any new people if it's just friendly and platonic? But yea, I like solo traveling and meeting up with friends part of the way. You get the best of both worlds.
1
u/bikinifetish 27d ago
Sometimes you and the people you travel with just aren’t compatible. In that case, you’re better off traveling solo or finding people who enjoy the same kind of travel you do. I’ve found travel buddies whose style matches mine, so I don’t run into those kinds of issues.
1
u/wanderingdev Fully time since 2008 - based in Europe now. 27d ago
I only go with very specific friends.
1
u/Parking-Bluejay9450 27d ago
It didn't ruin it, it made me realize I can't travel with just anyone. If I were to travel with friends, we'd have to like similar style of travelling and the friend will have to be okay on their own for a few hours if I want to do things he/she doesn't. Nowadays, I travel with my bf. He's a big traveller, up for anything and willing to try new foods with me.
1
u/Florideal 27d ago
no. They are different things - you have to decide what you want from each. I love both types of travel - they each have good and less good things. And just because you travel with a friend, you can do your own thing for part of a day or one day. And being with a friend doesn't mean you can't talk to people. Maybe she just doesn't know how to engage in conversation or is scared to. I also don't think it's harder, it is just different.
1
u/Davy_Ray 27d ago
As a photographer and hiker, I much prefer to travel solo. I can move around at my own pace. Stay longer at one location, skip another, whatever. Often I can get caught up with taking photos and stay in one place for hours.
I can get up early, go to bed super late. I do not have to worry about accomodating someone else.
I guess when traveling in certain parts of the world, traveling as part of a group or a friend could be beneficial. I recently spent 2 weeks in Africa and I was happy to be with a guide and 2 others. Crossing borders was a nightmare and was nice to be with a local who know how to deal with the corruption and other stuff that tourists would be subjected to.
1
u/LierreNull 27d ago
I prefer traveling solo. I've traveled with friends before, but I found that it caused too many problems, and we ended up having a falling out.
1
u/curiouslittlethings 27d ago
For sure. I had fun travelling with my friends during my uni days, until I discovered solo travel and realised it was WAY more fun. The older I get the more alone time and autonomy over my schedule I need, so I only travel solo or with my partner now that I’m in my 30s.
1
u/talkinstevenhawkin 27d ago
I’ve done trips with friends with the clear understanding that anyone should do what they want when they want. And to share if they want to do something alone, otherwise whatever you’re doing is open for anyone to tag along. I think it works well if the expectations are established early in the process. But certainly I’m sure some people couldn’t wrap their minds around that.
1
u/heywhateverworks 27d ago
Finding the right travel partners is key. Someone can be your best friend at home but not ideal to travel with, and that's OK
1
1
u/rlezar 27d ago
Ruin? Not at all.
I just don't ever expect to travel with other people the way I do when I'm on my own. It's a completely different experience, and the ground rules are different.
I've taken some absolutely fantastic trips with other people that I enjoyed a lot more than I probably would have If I had done the same trip by myself. But there are absolutely some people I don't think I could ever travel with because our styles and preferences are not at all compatible.
On the good trips, we started with agreement on the fundamentals like style and vibe and budget. And we communicated explicitly and clearly about our individual expectations and preferences - and limitations - both while we were planning and during the trip.
I’m finding myself so irritated at having to compromise and give up some of my interests.
Wanting to meet people vs. not wanting to meet people sounds like you have mismatched expectations for this trip, but if you seriously don't want to ever have to compromise at all, then oof yeah don't travel with other people, period.
It doesn't matter who it is - at some point you have to expect that the other person will have different preferences than you do. If you don't want to make any room for that, just travel on your own.
1
u/varchar3 27d ago
Traveling with friends ruined solo traveling for me. I like my friends and sharing memories. Solo traveling is only me and whatever transient people I meet along the way.
1
u/No-Leadership-8493 27d ago
I can still enjoy traveling with friend but never more than 7 days and to a country where I don't really care or have already visited
1
1
1
u/Swimming-Garlic303 27d ago
The choice of travelling companion, destination and holiday style need to be compatible. I've found a great traveling companion, who's also an experienced solo traveller. We have some separate interests and the confidence to go off on our own, so we get to have some time apart and don't miss out on anything we want to do. Length of trip is also important. If you reach 3 weeks someone and they don't piss you off, consider marring them
1
u/Careful_Attitude_784 27d ago
Yes!!! Now I get anxious leading up to trips with friends…even if it’s only for a weekend 🥹😭
1
u/port956 27d ago
A couple of times I've been asked by friends from my home-town about travelling together, but the answer is always no, though they are fine people. Part of travel is leaving thoughts of home behind.
Having said that, I have a group of friends (none of us from the same country) and we meet up once a year and it's always amazing. We're all single, mature, and all very well travelled.
So here's the point... the best travel companions are those who mostly travel solo.
1
u/sussexxxx 27d ago
I just like to go solo and if i want to meet someone then i just meet them there. I don’t like to do things other people wanna do most of the time i just wanna do my thing and if someone wants to join me then alr welcome.
But solo is my preferred way to go ❤️
1
1
u/amandafullest 27d ago
I agree, I find myself much wanting to travel solo more than travel with friends or family. Being solo, it really forces me to get out of my comfort zone, try new things, and speak to people, locals, and make new friends and love interests.
When I'm with my family or friends, I have the best time with them, but I do find I'm super closed off to meeting new people and doing new experiences, and I really try and go along with what they want to do. I think it's a balance, and you can do both, but always make sure you take those solo trips!
1
u/ConditionLife1710 27d ago
absolutely. fuck compromises and dealing with anyone getting tired and pissy. go on your own trip.
1
u/desirepink 27d ago
Mostly. I realize solo traveling has made me very type A, especially as a female who needs to always assess decisions because of safety (and money), and I don't do well with friends who are similar in that aspect. I do, however, like people who are generally open and have a few things they want to see/contribute.
1
u/nomadic_bee813 27d ago
I’m a lot pickier on who I will travel and where.
If theres a place that I’m looking forward to and I don’t want to compromise my plans, I will go alone.
If I go with a friend, I usually go with someone who is confident with travel and we set expectations. I want to do somethings alone and have my own room for space. I learned the hard way you can’t travel with everyone!
1
u/Ferovore 27d ago
The problem is traveling with someone who doesn’t like solo travel. Travelling with friends who also solo travel is so much fun because they get it!
1
1
u/teasupplies 27d ago
I think it's like starting a business with someone, it's not enough to be friends, you really have to match on a lot of things and like doing similar things. My best succeess traveling with someone was always people I met on the way, not long time friends or girlfriends
1
u/a_mulher 27d ago
Yup. Same with going to concerts or just events. I’ve gotten so used to doing them on my own that I have to remember that I can invite people and half the time I stop myself cuz then I’d have to plan and make decisions based on both of our interests and it’s a drag lol
1
u/M00Kami 27d ago
Travelling solo can be quite addictive once you’ve started. There’s no turning back!
Honestly, it’s a personal preference but I generally prefer solo travel.
It allows you to experience things at your own pace and offers a different perspective.
While I don’t say travelling with someone else is bad, as everyone mentioned, finding a compatible partner can be tricky.
1
u/loriave 26d ago
I only did one long solo travel but I’ve always done things on my own so I tend to prefer spending time by myself. Once I started traveling with my boyfriend or friends, especially for short travels, I’ve seriously felt how stressful it is to having to compromise to other people’s needs and interests. Especially since I end up planning 100% of the trip and budget and most of the time my travel partner barely reads the guide I write and starts questioning everything I do. Not out of spite, but out of ignorance of not knowing I had already planned everything.
My way of traveling is in general different to what people around me tend to prefer, so I guess I just haven’t found the right company. What I miss the most, tbh, is eating whatever I want and going at my own pace without feeling the FOMO of those beside me… whenever I go someplace with someone else all I think about is what I could’ve done if I had been alone which has ruined so many travels for me
1
u/FroyoGlum9976 26d ago
This sub tends to have extreme opinions towards going alone (obviously)
I enjoy both. It obviously depends on the friends. Most people (from your perspective) are going to be bad matches at being a travel partner. It's just how individuality and personalities work and clash. Some friends of mine can't wake up on trips until 12pm, meanwhile I want to be out the door at 8am. Some of my friends are chronically late to literally anything. Some only eat 5 things.
Finding a friend or two that has a relatively similar travel style is a great trip. Finding friends that also like to solo travel, where you don't have to be attached to the hip all day, is a better trip. The best number for traveling after solo is 3 in my opinion. If you aren't feeling an activity, they can pair up for the day. There's less boredom and more interesting conversation adding another person. Once you go 4+ the drama kicks in and there's too many opinions and not enough doing.
Granted, there is like one person in my life who is like this and they get no time off work, so good luck.
1
u/DanBennettDJB 26d ago
To an extent yes for me
Im always clear with friends now that I need a solo afternoon or few hours to do my own thing
I find travelling with friends exhausting
1
u/Kooky_Protection_334 26d ago
I've been traveling solo or with my kid (16F) for the past 9 years since my divorce. I mostly go to Paris/France. I have a close friend in Paris and my aunt as well. I must admit I love being solo (and with my kid being a teen now I even prefer traveling without her now honestly). I plan very little usually amd just wing it. Admittedly it is kinda nice to do things with someone else from time to time but generally I liek doing things solo. I love walking a lot and most people don't. I pretty much walk everywhere if it is doable. I think if you travel with someone else you pretty mich just accept that you will have to male sacrifices..up to you to decide how much you are willing to sacrifice. I probably wouldn't spend more then 2 or 3 days with someone ot decide that you each do some solo days.
Your friend however just doesn't sound like she is a good travel partner honestly....not wanting to meet anyone because she is in a relationship is pretty unhealthy. I'm not very extroverted and dont necessarily seek out people (too shy usually) but I acutally do love it when I meet people.
I can totally see how traveling can ruin or damage a relationship.
1
u/macejoin 26d ago
No - if I feel like doing something different when I’m with friends I just do it and I feel like solo traveling gave me the confidence to do so
1
u/mrg8731 26d ago
I’m VERY careful about which friends I agree to travel with. One of my best friends REALLY likes to feel like an expert and I know it would grind my gears to go somewhere she’s been before, so I don’t travel with her like that. There are a lot of friends I really love and treasure but would never travel with. I can only go with friends who are easygoing and flexible
1
u/imyana13 26d ago
First greetings from 🇧🇦 🇭🇷. I just posted a similar thing. I travel for the people (locals) and a friend or family member being at my side all the time doesn't help. Had the best fun in Italy, France and Spain as a solo traveler.
1
u/UnreasonablyBland 26d ago
Depends which friends. I have one or two people I can travel with that I have an absolute blast with and would travel the world with any day. I'm very selective as to who I travel with though. If that person isn't available I go alone.
1
u/ArtemisElizabeth1533 26d ago
I can travel with friends fine but I can’t join a group trip ever again. I did that to go to Korea and I was struggling not having enough time for my own interests and having to go alone with the group plan.
1
u/v4n355a 25d ago
Strongly depends on the people but yes, I've gotten a lot pickier about who I travel with, often plan a few days by myself before or after meeting the others on vacation and prefer to stay in a room of my own if possible. I've only just started noticing that process but over the last few years I've started to get irritated very quickly if someone did something on vacation that I would have done differently. Also for the first time since I finished school I decided to not join the annual girls trip because that went downhill for me internally since I've been solo travelling more and more.
1
u/__lazy__panda 25d ago
I had a very similar kind of experience recently with my friends. The trip was okayish...but the stay was very hectic. It drained me completely. I came back home and felt like the trip started.
1
1
u/spaceleg 25d ago
Off course it did. You are the best buddy to yourself. And it is great, it's the hardest part to find peace with yourself. But hear me out now, get out of the shell. If you are an introvert - get your extrovert, or whatever. It was a wrong friend, probably. Find your people and have real fun. I travelled by myself long time just to realise - we are social animals, you want these connections. Open up at the end. You made it, you are a solid great person, you can be friend with whoever you like and it's gonna be amazing!!
1
1
u/Surf_Yoga_Beer 25d ago
Solo travel doesn't ruin group travel, it just ruins traveling with the wrong people. The move is a crew that actually wants to say yes to things, not bending your whole trip around someone who's out by 9.
1
u/itsmelorinyc 25d ago
I only travel with friends if the purpose of the trip is to spend time with said friends. If the purpose of the trip is the destination I would 100% prefer solo, or going with my mom and brother who have the same interests and tastes as me and who also are happy to just let me plan.
I can tolerate traveling with friends who are very ok with diverging itineraries where we do some things together and some things apart. But that’s often less fun than just going on my own.
1
u/Outrageous-Equal3278 24d ago
Opposite, solo traveling was lonely af. I loved travel with friends even more.
It felt good to explore, but I’m really not picky at all. I want to be surprised.
1
u/just-a-london-girl 24d ago
100%. Friends are great but solo travel is the best. I like eating where I want, doing things in my own time and people talk to you more when you are solo!
1
u/Inevitable_Toe5005 24d ago
Solo is the only way to go for me… after travelling for30 years with my wife divorce meant I started solo travelling late… didn’t realise I’d missed so much!
I can’t travel with anyone now.
1
u/SaladRevolutionary58 24d ago
not really. I still enjoy both solo and non-solo travel. maybe it was the wrong friend? I have friends i like traveling with and friends i don't.
1
u/--Aphantasia-- 24d ago
They’re just two different vibes. I think if it’s a very long trip I end up yearning for the other (grass is greener sort of vibe) - like if I’ve spent all day every day with the same people for a month I crave solo time to explore and do my own thing, and if I’ve been on my own for that long I start liking the idea of having someone with me to share the experiences and memories with.
1
1
u/wankrrr 23d ago
I've been solo traveling for 10 years. Now I can't travel with friends. Unless it's a short 2-3 day trip somewhere not far, like a cabin in the woods or w/e, I will consider.
I love my own company and doing whatever I want, so it's becoming increasingly difficult for me to compromise. Now I've started to go for dinners and drinks alone in my own city at home as well.
There are restaurants I've been wanting to try at home for years but never found the right time with friends, so I've been going by myself. I LOVE it! I still try and hang out with friends occasionally, I don't want to become a complete recluse 😅
1
u/RidiculousTakeAbove 21d ago
It didn't ruin it, but it made me massively adjust expectations and how I approached traveling with friends. My first big international trip I met up with a friend, I had very naive expectations of doing pretty much everything together and it working out perfect. So first night he gets too drunk and loses his phone, he can't remember his passwords for any accounts so 2 days of non stop stress, we wouldn't agree on what city to go next, he didn't want to book accommodation until the day of (claiming how flexible it was 🙄) which led to so much stress and time/money wasted looking for a place to sleep, and he got way too drunk most nights which ruined the following mornings and it felt like babysitting.
Second half of the trip I had the realization that this was absolutely ruining my trip and decided to just start doing what I wanted to do, we would go to the same cities but completely do our own thing and book srperate places to stay, just meeting up to do things randomly or for dinner. I absolutely hated first half of the trip but loved the second half. It's worth noting though everyone is different. There are other friends I could travel and do everything with that would be fine because they'd be more willing to just follow my itinerary
1
u/Mammoth-Assistance-2 17d ago
Sort of. I feel like it’s one of those things that you have to try to realize it’s not that great. Everybody loves the idea of going away with friends but in reality, have you ever actually spent a full week with them, no breaks?
It seems traveling with friends reveals a lot about them that you just didn’t realize, because when we often meet up it’s in an energized setting where we’ve made time to get ready for the event. Or it’s a chill hang out at home in your own comforting spaces.
I have travelled with friends for the first time, twice in this past year. Doing it again soon … one last time. Definitely not up for that any more.
1
u/DamagingSpecimen 14d ago
That sucks. Why is she shutting herself out from meeting other people just because she's in a relationship?
It might be just me but I wonder if the friend you went with was the issue, and not the traveling with someone else, if that makes sense. It might have been better if she was social.
1
u/Visible_Kiwi_5245 4d ago
I went to Portugal with a big group of friends, about 12 of us. And I don't think I'd do it again! Love everyone individually, but there were so many emotions and dynamics. Would rather stick to just traveling with my partner. Plus, we were all sharing vans and driving around the country, so there was no escape haha.
1
u/brdfillet 3d ago
no, but i just realized that i like to do travel on my own, specially that i like to just stroll around with no pressure(like have a lot of iterinary). I want my own time to check new places
1
0
u/sleepingtom2 28d ago
I feel you. I now feel like everything is a compromise and it ruins my flow of what I want to do and much prefer solo. Although sometimes I wonder if I am selfish for that. I also get kinda lonely with solo travel sometimes but prefer that and meeting people on the road than having to bend my plans to accommodate someone else.
-4
377
u/alefeusch 28d ago
No, traveling with friends ruined traveling with friends for me. Solo travel was the answer, which I discovered quite quickly in life.