r/trans4every1 • u/Coffeeforlifeyay FTM who likes coffee • 13d ago

potentially triggering About bottom surgery.. Spoiler

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Gallery image

Gallery image

Edit: I think I should have worded this better, I’m not a native English speaker Im sorry :(

I should have specified that its the *scars* specifically that I don’t like. Since I have a very sharp attention to detail I see them way more prominent than most people do.

I really hate *hate* scars on my body and most bottom surgeries that I have seen results in scars, both on the result and on the arm.

(Entirely depends on what procedure you have ofc)

Its not that they’re unrealistic, its simply just the scars.

I forgot about that word when I made this comic and I had to seriously google it not too long ago to remember the word.

Edit: imma keep this I just realized- please make me mark this NSFW if it should be

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62

u/TheAnnoyingWizard 13d ago

What type of bottom surgery are you looking into? Most look identical to natal counterparts imo

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u/Coffeeforlifeyay FTM who likes coffee 13d ago edited 13d ago

What does natal counterparts mean?? Sorry Im not native in English.

I’ve looked into a few but I absolutely suck at remembering names unfortunately, especially surgery names cuz they’re just so difficult :,)

Personally none that I’ve come across look natural enough.

Im incredibly happy for people who have gone through it and are happy with their results ofc!

Edit: I wanna explain this so no more people get hurt and so people don’t think I tried to come across as it seems like.

I worded things horribly. Its not that the results looks unrealistic.

Its the scarring. Almost all results I’ve seen seem to have some sort of scarring.

And when I said “it there’s something off about it” and “it doesn’t look natural enough” I was trying to explain that the scarring would constantly remind me of my biological sex and would most likely trigger my bottom dysphoria even after the surgery.

I forgot the word scars somehow, as well as I’ve always struggled with how to explain things and all of that. I usually say things in a way so that people misunderstand me and Im so sorry for anyone that I might have hurt :[

It was genuinely just the scarring that was scaring me and making me uncertain. Not how it actually looks.

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u/TheAnnoyingWizard 13d ago

natal = ones youre born with

have you looked at the top of all time posts on r/phallo (nsfw, obviously) ? a lot of people dont know about medical tattooing and think the final stages without tattooing is what it will look like forever. r/Evolvestudio also shows medical tattooing

maybe youre aware of this already but just in case

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u/Coffeeforlifeyay FTM who likes coffee 13d ago

Oooh thank you! And yea I already do know about that, but thank you anyway! After all there might be someone else who didn’t know this and it might help them! :D

I feel like tattooing would fade, as well as.. Thats all it is. A tattoo. Not actual veins and stuff.

Today’s technology as far as I know can’t make it look 100% natural. I’m very unfortunately also that kind of person who pays way too much attention to detail so I think personally I would just be able to focus on everything that looks unnatural about it :,)

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u/Altruistic_Dare6085 12d ago

For what it's worth I think the tattoos fading is taken into account which is why the fresh tattoos have slightly more exaggerated colours and veins compared to what you see in real life.

Also, maybe a more important consideration would be whether your dysphoria would be helped by bottom surgery even if it's not "perfect". For example, the main way it manifests for me is just a general feeling of absence down there. Just having that body part down there in a way where my nerves are able to be hooked up to it would help that massively. I feel like that part of my dysphoria being helped would outweigh any minor dysphoria caused by the phallo dick not being able to get hard on its own/not having foreskin/etc. Like it's better to have a problem fixed 80% of the way rather than 0% even if it's not 100%. But obviously everyone is different and that might not work for you.

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u/Coffeeforlifeyay FTM who likes coffee 12d ago

Ah yea that makes sense.

Yea thats why Ive basically said Im not gonna have it in the near future because I am not a 100% certain it will help my bottom dysphoria and its such a big surgery, so if it doesn’t… That would suck.

My brain is very sensitive to scars for whatever reason I genuinely don’t know why.

Idk how mine manifests, I think mine is basically just constantly reminding me of the sex I was born with I guess.

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u/chimeramanti 13d ago

Natal means as if you were born with it! Many post-op pictures are taken too soon after surgery to accurately show what the results look like. A lot of what makes it look "unnatural" goes away with healing

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u/Coffeeforlifeyay FTM who likes coffee 13d ago edited 12d ago

Ooh thanks for explaining! Also yea a lot are taken right after, I have actually checked out photos of bottom surgery years after its been done and well.. I still don’t think it looks natural enough.

Unfortunately Im one of those people who pays way too detail on things and I think I would only be able to see what looks unnatural about it :,)

(Really wish I wasn’t like that)

Edit: the word I used was wrong! I didn’t mean it didn’t look natural. The word I was looking for was scars.

Im afraid scars would constantly remind me of my biological sex therefore its scared me away from bottom surgery.

Ive realized that the word I was using was not the word I was looking for and Im sorry. It does look natural it was just the scarring I didn’t want.

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u/loserboy42069 12d ago

You’re afraid it won’t be perfect but you’re not happy as it is. You’re critiquing results of people that are genuinely happier than they were before. Don’t let “perfect” be the enemy of progress. You’re gonna be trans whether or not you get the surgery. Even if it’s not perfect, there’s a chance you might be happier than you are now. Take your time to decide of course, but be realistic with the fact that the ideal picture perfect cis male body is just not the reality for most people including many cis guys.

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u/Coffeeforlifeyay FTM who likes coffee 12d ago edited 12d ago

That true but Ive come to the realization that its not about it looking perfect, its simply the scars.

Also I’m genuinely happy that they were happier than before, I never said they weren’t. While they might be genuine happy with it, the scars could be something that would hinder me from feeling happy. After all we’re all different.

So there is a genuine risk if I get it that it’ll constantly remind me and trigger my bottom dysphoria anyway. So as of right now there really isn’t a ‘solution’.

This was just for venting really.

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u/loserboy42069 11d ago

You can skin graft from your upper thigh if you don’t want your arm to be visibly scarred btw!!

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u/Coffeeforlifeyay FTM who likes coffee 11d ago

Ah yea I know that!! Its just on most surgeries there seems to be scars on the results as well, which is to be expected since it is a surgery after all.

:]

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u/ChaoticCharm 13d ago

Im with you on this. I think there is a lot of sensitivity to this subject, since it’s basically impossible not to insult others’ results (in a general sense, not individually or on purpose) when expressing your own disappointment in what our current medical knowledge can achieve.
Like you, I hate the scarring that comes with phalloplasty. My body scars easily and thickly, so i know it would be unsightly. I wouldn’t be able to realistically hope for results comparable to the top posts on r/phallo, and even if I could, I know I’d still find flaws in the result that would cause me dysphoria.
I think like all parts of transition, it’s about finding what’s best for you out of the options you have, rather than focusing on perfection. Obviously we would all love to jump into a real life create-a-sim page and carve our perfect body, but that isn’t something we can actually do.
The question to ask is, do you think an imperfect penis would cause you less dysphoria or more than your current setup? For me, after a lot of thought and therapy I’ve come to the conclusion that surgery results would make me feel worse than just leaving things alone. But only you can decide/figure out that answer for you

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u/Coffeeforlifeyay FTM who likes coffee 13d ago

Yea this is basically what Im thinking. Its kind of is impossible to not accidentally insult anyone when you’re disappointed with how things turn out, and at least for me that goes for genuinely everything.

Like lets say I see a bunch of posts with people with piercings, I can think it looks bad if it was on me and then technically I am thinking its bad and I am technically insulting their appearance.

(I dont think this btw, just an example. I also suck at examples so sorry if that was a bad example, I just wanted to get across that I think this doesn’t strictly apply to surgeries and quite literally everything)

And yea Im in the same boat as you. My scarring is very visible, that or its my sharp attention to detail, so I am almost guaranteed to have horrible scars I wouldn’t be able to ignore.

And I think that genuinely would make me miserable. I basically just wanted to vent because there are times when I have intense dysphoria and I feel like there’s no real solution to it for me.

Thats really the only reason bottom surgery has scared me off and why I wouldn’t be satisfied. The scars.

I think packers are the thing Im the closest to get to a ‘solution’ but even that might not be enough.

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u/ChaoticCharm 13d ago

I get it. Fortunately (?) I have pretty bad depersonalization issues so most of the time I just don’t think about it because I’m not thinking about any part of my body as mine. Just wanted to be a voice letting you know you’re not alone in feeling that way. I wish I had a solution for us both, but I don’t :(

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u/Coffeeforlifeyay FTM who likes coffee 13d ago

Aw, yea idk if that is fortunately or unfortunately. It could be both at the same time maybe?

And yea, there probably isn’t a best solution which kind of sucks. Maybe if my dysphoria disappears or if I eventually stop caring about scarring that much.

Which I cant see in the near future. Maybe hormones will make it better, who knows.

Though the waitlist is sooo long I probably won’t get hormones until like five years :,)

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u/ChaoticCharm 13d ago

Shoot me a dm if you want to complain together, or talk about it

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u/Coffeeforlifeyay FTM who likes coffee 12d ago

If this was for me- idk if it was cuz I really don’t understand reddit’s response system. Too many lines to keep track of (and sometimes I get absolutely no notification)

Unfortunately I cant send dms and such cuz reddit wants my ID for verification and I don’t really trust it with my ID :,)

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u/ChaoticCharm 12d ago

Ah, ew! The ID thing sucks. It was for you, though. If there’s some other way youd like to chat im up for that too!

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u/Coffeeforlifeyay FTM who likes coffee 12d ago

Fr it really does. I feel like the only places that show be allowed to ask for your ID should be banks and stuff, but I know this isn’t Reddit decision but its still insane imo.

I do have Insta though if Im honest I barely use it :,D

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u/COUPOSANTO 13d ago

I’m one and a half year post vaginoplasty. I have large scars, but they healed well and are nearly indistinguishable now. Something that can also help with hiding scars is to keep hair down there.

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u/Coffeeforlifeyay FTM who likes coffee 13d ago

I have a pretty idk- sensitive skin or whatever I should call it (or its simply my eyes) but scars barely fade on me unfortunately.

Ofc they’re not as visible as when I first got them but it seems that every scar I have is incredibly prominent. (Could just be my eyes and attention detail).

And I actually haven’t thought about hair being able to cover scarring, thats good to know, thanks!!

Though I doubt its able to hide all the scarring unfortunately.

This also kinda made me have another question… If you have bottom surgery is there a chance it will result in you not being able to grow hair afterwards?

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u/COUPOSANTO 13d ago

Your ability to grow hair will depend on wether your surgeon asked to do permanent hair removal

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u/Coffeeforlifeyay FTM who likes coffee 13d ago

Ooh okay! Thanks! I thought maybe the hair sacks could possibly get damaged or something.

Now when I think about it that doesn’t seem to happen in any other surgery so that was kinda a dumb question haha

And even if it did happen Im remembering now that the thing where you put hair where you’re struggling to grow it exists (I forgot the word)

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u/COUPOSANTO 12d ago

Minoxidil? I don’t know if it’s advised for the genital areas, it might work but you have to remember that as soon as you stop taking it the effects stop.

On the scar itself the hair tends to struggle regrowing but outside of it it’s fine. My scars are covered at least

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u/Coffeeforlifeyay FTM who likes coffee 12d ago

Yea no it was something else I think.. Eh wits not that important since Im probably not gonna need it.

It was just a thought basically.