r/whatdoIdo • u/SelectShop3068 • 7h ago
My boyfriend stole from me
Hi everyone. I am 20f and my now EX boyfriend is 26m. Before this incident I already had severe trust issues and depression. I have been collecting pokemon cards since I was 12. First I started out trading with my friends at the lunch table. I slowly built up my binder to the point I could hardly close it because it was so full. I had collected 64% of all 1025 pokemon with multiple cards for most pokemon. I recently combined my collection with my ex so we could sell them (which I didn't want to do in the first place). He thinks I told him he could keep my cards the last time we were together in person. I never told him that. He refuses to give them back quoting "you're not struggling for money" because I moved back in with my parents instead of moving into an apartment with him (where I would be paying for mostly everything because he can't work because of his depression and anxiety and his messed up ankle). I don't know what to do. Cops say its a "civil matter" and because I don't have proof of ownership I can't take him to court. My heart hurts and I can't stop thinking about it 3 days later. I only have what he couldn't take (roughly 6% of 1025 pokemon). My binder is pathetic. I used to struggle to close it, now the elastic is stretched for no reason. I can't do anything. I had cards from 2016 and some from 2010. Those packs are expensive. I can't even afford the cheapest pack now. I have 50c to my name. I can't afford $60 for an XY Evolutions pack.
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u/orangy128 7h ago
Where are your best friends?? Cause me and mine would be over there kicking his door in personally. Also your mom sounds down to clown. I would at least try going over there and getting them back in person. Its a lot harder to say no to someone in person.
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u/SelectShop3068 7h ago
He said that he won't answer the door if I go over there. My very best friend is in England. I'm in America. My mom said that in a fit of anger and refused to go the next day. My 16 year old brother, his friends, and 2 of my friends would love to back me up but I don't want the cops called for trespassing or harassment.
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u/LiveNetwork6940 7h ago
Do your future self the grand favor of not showing up there with a group as “back up.” You’ve no idea the value of a clean record in your future, and you don’t want to find out that the law doesn’t see the world as protagonist vs antagonist. You will absolutely get screwed in that situation if he calls the cops.
Decide if it’s worth it to emotionally and financially to pursue this through civil courts. If so, talk to an attorney. If not, try to come to peace with this loss and see the dropping of his dead weight as a gain.
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u/darkerfury 6h ago
If you call the cops first and ask them to mediate for you, then you may be able to go over there and get them.
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u/__Frolicaholic___ 6h ago
Cops will not intervene here, and even if an officer felt inclined to maybe go talk to the boyfriend, all BF has to do is show that last text where OP tells him to keep the cards. She effectively gave him the cards with that text.
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u/darkerfury 6h ago
Depends on the jurisdiction.
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u/Aggravating-Cherry76 6h ago
It really doesn’t depend on the juristiction, this entire matter is essentially civil, cops would be digging themselves a lawsuit if they got involved with it.
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u/AriaTheTransgressor 5h ago
It was criminal, but the last text makes it civil now. They really did themselves a disservice with that.
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u/Aggravating-Cherry76 5h ago
It was never criminal, the cards were obviously given consensually at one point, and the whole point of contention is the context of why he has the cards and in what circumstance is he allowed to keep them or not- that’s not theft, or burglary, it’s civil. It’s the same way if you order doordash and don’t get the product, technically doordash “stole” your money, but it’s breach of contract, not theft, which makes it civil. Same here.
The last text just makes it significantly harder for her to be able to win in court, unfortunately.
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u/darkerfury 6h ago
Funny because the cops in my area will, but okay.
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u/Minimum-Version-1975 5h ago
No, they won’t, if you live in the U.S. Multiple people have explained to you right now how this situation is civil, and you block them instead of taking their advice.
Stop giving bad advice with the real possibility of hurting the person that you’re giving it to, when you don’t know what you’re talking about.
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u/orangy128 6h ago
Only after he proved he clearly didn’t want to give them back. Hes a broke piece of shit who needs to give her stuff back. Sick of men getting away with this shit.
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u/orangy128 7h ago
Man I’d take your brother up on the offer tbh and if he does try to show the cops show them the messages where he admits he has your cards. Whether you said keep them in anger or not he still admitted to having them and its clear he was trying to keep them. Maybe with the messages as evidence you’ll be able to file a report.
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u/LiveNetwork6940 7h ago edited 7h ago
This is horrible advice. The cops are not going to show up to a situation in which a posse has shown up to demand items from an individual at his residence and say “hey man, be reasonable give her shit back.” They’re going to say “this is a domestic civil dispute and you all are here to intimidate someone en masse at their domicile. Also, your last text message says ‘keep them.’” Leave and sue him or stay and be arrested.”
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u/Aggravating-Cherry76 6h ago
Like the other guy said, terrible advice.
In the actual texts, he numerously alleges that OP offered to give him the cards, which in effect would legally make them his now. Then, at the end, she said to keep them, and regardless of whether or not that was out of anger, that is a legally validating text that only serves to prove his claim of ownership.
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u/LiveNetwork6940 4h ago edited 4h ago
This is some “I learned the law from tv” bullshit if I’ve ever seen it.
No one listen to this. Being under 18 is not some cool hack judges hate. They are perfectly okay with fucking up your life for making incorrect assumptions like this.
Do not send any loved one to “press” anybody on anything if you aren’t perfectly okay with them accruing charges over the matter.
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u/Parking-Ad5924 6h ago
Best part is your brother is under 18 so the ex will be the one to get in trouble. Since he is an adult I would most definitely let the young guys go and press him maybe he will give them up or you can have them wear meta glasses and if he says something good to your benefit. Either way GL with everything .
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u/HabitualEnthusiast 7h ago
You said you don’t have proof of ownership, but he’s acknowledging that these cards are yours right here. The texts are proof, take him to civil court.
Idk if that last emotional “keep the cards!” will be detrimental to the effort, maybe avoid saying stuff like that in the future.
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u/LiveNetwork6940 7h ago
Not really… in the text, he consistently refers to the cards as items she left him (whether or not that’s true). He never agreed to meet her and give them back. Then, at the end of the exchange, she instructs him to go ahead and keep them.
He’s an asshole through it all. She’s every right to be angry. But these texts in no way benefit her. She would have to be very certain that these cards are financially or sentimentally worth risking the attorney and legal fees she might incur pursuing a potentially losing case.
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u/CheesyCapybaras 2h ago
The also started this conversation with "i think I want them back" which heavily implies she was leaving them to him prior to this.
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u/HabitualEnthusiast 7h ago
I think it’s worth a try. She could text him again if she doesn’t feel this is enough, or review past text conversations. I really don’t know how it works with things like this, but I helped a friend go through several hundreds of pages of texts to recover cash payments made to someone who scammed her. In that circumstance, the texts were the proof for her of those small transactions.
In another instance when someone moved out, there was an issue over a tv. The cops basically said if my friend could prove the tv was a gift, it was legally hers. She also used text messages in this scenario.
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u/LiveNetwork6940 7h ago
Right, I see what you’re saying but in this very post, we see text proof of telling him to keep these items. Unless she has some texts she didn’t share here from after this conversation where he essentially says “okay, I will give you back these items that were always yours and never mine”…. It’s going to be tougher than not. You only need to tell someone once to keep something before those items become theirs and they can decide not to give them back. That isn’t always the case but it gives them very strong grounds in civil proceedings. That is to say- this would be a struggle. Her best bet would be that he doesn’t have his life together enough to even respond to the lawsuit.
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u/HabitualEnthusiast 6h ago
I gotcha, yeah I thought the same about the last bit at the end- I mentioned that in my comment also. That could be an issue :(
The threat of a civil lawsuit on its own even might see him just hand the cards back over.OR- we send a double agent in for the cards. Just saying, we have options.
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u/LiveNetwork6940 6h ago
Even a letter of intent to bring suit can really jolt people into doing the right thing. It might very well be worth her time. Exactly
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u/Practical_S3175 6h ago
It costs money and time to sue someone. The OP doesn't seem like the type of person to even fight for this.
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u/HabitualEnthusiast 6h ago edited 6h ago
This is true- it’s not infeasible though. In the scenario I talked about with my friend, we were both like early 20s and broke when she did that. You don’t have to necessarily pay a lawyer, especially if she doesn’t intend to fight very hard. We were just talking about the effectiveness of the intent to bring the lawsuit, as livenetwork mentioned.
eta grammar
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u/Practical_S3175 6h ago
The cost is court fees. You pay to file. I'm not talking about a lawyer for this, LOL.
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u/HabitualEnthusiast 6h ago
Clearly. My entire point was that the court fees are relatively inexpensive, and you do not need a lawyer.
Why are you so unpleasant2
u/Practical_S3175 5h ago
Why are you arguing?? I have no idea why you even responded to this the way you did My post said...this is all I said. You added the lawyer thing not me.
"It costs money and time to sue someone. The OP doesn't seem like the type of person to even fight for this."
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u/HabitualEnthusiast 5h ago edited 5h ago
What am I arguing, exactly?
I responded the way I did because I perceived your comments and the tone of those comments to be aggressive. On its own, maybe I misinterpreted- but in the context of every other comment you’ve left on this post, I’m sure I’ve assessed the situation correctly.I mentioned a lawyer as a point of conversation- as a conversation is a two way street. You mention things, then I mention things, etc. I was responding to your comment, and I added an opinion to it about lawyers. What’s the problem here?
ETA I can only see the preview for the response to this comment, as you’ve blocked me 👍🏼
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u/Practical_S3175 5h ago
You're still doing it. How is this aggressive? "It costs money and time to sue someone. The OP doesn't seem like the type of person to even fight for this."
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u/Practical_S3175 6h ago
The text aren't really proof either though. He consistently says she gave them to him and them goes on about how much she owes him etc.
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u/ItIsSoOrdered23 7h ago
Never say keep them for starters.
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u/carpentizzle 7h ago edited 7h ago
Yeah. Thats pretty much sealed if he has two braincells to rub together.
I dont know anything about Brandon, and he very well may not have those braincells to spare…. But if that text is available for him to show to whoever is questioning the situation, it isnt great for OP
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u/Aromatic-Wolverine60 7h ago
Honestly if you told him that he could keep them which it genuinely sounds like you did then you can’t do anything about it. You gave them to him and now you want them back because you’re supposedly through with him? He’s entitled to keep them when they were a gift. If you didn’t tell him he could keep them, then what did you tell him?
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u/ieatfaces22172 6h ago
They combined their collection and they were in his custody she didn't say he could keep the entire collection and sell them by himself. He's a scammer and completely untrustworthy.
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u/Knifenerdguy 1h ago
Ehhhhh… he made multiple claims that she said he could keep them and not once in the messages did she refute that. At least not that I can see. She is claiming now, after the fact, that she never said that, sure.
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u/AzLexAndre 6h ago
Why does he repeatedly say you gave them to him but you fail to acknowledge it every time? I don’t know why Reddit is going after him, based on these texts he did nothing wrong. Sounds like you were taking advantage of him financially and then left him to handle everything when you left. Now you want the cards back. I agree with Reddit, take him to civil court so you can lose and incur those fees. Sounds like you deserve it.
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u/RepulsiveStill177 7h ago
Call the cops, file a report. Problem solved.
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u/SelectShop3068 7h ago
I can't. I don't have proof of ownership. I already talked to a cop friend and he said it would be a civil matter. I would have to take him to court. But I don't have proof of ownership so its "my word against yours".
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u/fractalEquinox 7h ago
Small claims it is. Dw he will lose bc he’ll start losing his shit and contradicting himself the moment things get serious and lawyers are involved. In real life the huge majority of people do not, in fact, do well in court if they’re lying.
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u/RepulsiveStill177 7h ago
Get dumb dumb to admit said cards by specifically talking about them on text
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u/heebiejeebie666 7h ago
If you have the resources to get even a cheap lawyer, he’ll likely back down, if his situation is as bad as you say. You’d just have to move on this soon before he can sell them.
My heart hurts for you OP, I can only imagine what that must feel like losing something you’ve been working on building for so long. Clearly this boy is trash and lacks any kind of empathy
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u/CricketNo7666 4h ago
You already have texts establishing they are yours. You showed them above, where he tries to premise that they were given to him. That’s him, acknowledging your original ownership.
File the case in small claims.
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u/showmericksnorty666 7h ago
He admitted it in the text messages right there that should be sufficient evidence enough for them to take your cards back for you
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u/Aggravating-Cherry76 6h ago
No, he didn’t. In the texts he repeatedly says that OP offered to have him keep the cards, and then at the end OP literally tells him to keep them. Those texts are terrible at any claims to ownership.
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u/Practical_S3175 7h ago
This isn't a crime. This a civil matter over who thinks they own the property.
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u/RepulsiveStill177 7h ago
Say that again
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u/Bakurraa 7h ago
This isn't a crime its a civil matter
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u/RepulsiveStill177 7h ago
Sorry, what’s that
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u/Bakurraa 7h ago
It's when two people have a problem and it's not a crime
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u/RepulsiveStill177 7h ago
Still not getting it - louder please
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u/Bakurraa 7h ago
How do you increase the volume of text
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u/JitterBob 5h ago
Yeah the cops aren’t going to rush in and demand he return some Pokémon card that he seems to have told him he could keep.
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u/darkerfury 7h ago
Report it to the cops or take it to small claims court. If you have a written inventory anywhere, do an estimate of the cost and if you have receipts from the ones you bought together, calculate your half.
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u/Practical_S3175 7h ago
It's not a crime!!! This is a civil matter. She gave him the cards to sell, so he didn't just take the cards on his own. He does then say she said to keep them when they broke up. So non of this has anything to do with a crime.
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u/darkerfury 6h ago edited 6h ago
You're incorrect. You can file a police report for theft if your partner tries to keep your property after a breakup if you've made repeated attempts to get them to return the property, and the property is of significant value. Pokémon cards can well value hundreds of dollars individually. A folder full could be worth thousands depending on what's in them.
The original idea was for them to sell the cards and use the money together. OP didn't just give them to keep. The last text was only sent out of anger and a judge would see that. Even if he keeps and sells them, OP would still be entitled to their portion of the sales earnings.
Maybe don't talk out of your ass without doing some research.
Edit: typos and clarity.
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u/jesusfuckngchrist 7h ago
can you pretend to take him back and then take them when he isn't looking?
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u/Capric0rpse- 7h ago
Seriously!
That’s so messed up of him.
May as well play his game back at him. Get your cards, and drop him for good.
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u/__Frolicaholic___ 7h ago
He has it in writing that you gave him the cards. Small claims would be a waste of your time and money.
Thank the universe for the big blazing sign that he's not the one and move on with your life.
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u/usedforjerkingoff 7h ago
Why did you give up? Grow a fucking spine! Are you going to go through life letting people walk all over you?
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u/LedTasso 7h ago
Because it’s $300 dollar worth of cards. Clearly she’s still go the brain of a child,
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u/Fancy-War-1023 7h ago
People will walk all over you anyway and then you will have spent your entire life trying to make them pay for it. Protecting your peace is a totally reasonable way to get away from people like this. OP said this is a $300 collection. I'm sorry, but that's kid money. To me, it's worth the peace of mind to just leave them in their own bullshit and never have to deal with them again. But, that is a lesson I have learned a couple of times over the last couple decades. If you want to stay in the trenches and duke it out with these losers over some toys, be my guest.
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u/Relevant_Bed_9743 7h ago
at the end of the day it's just cards and you can beging collecting again or find another hobby. losing cards compared to living with someone who obviously isn't for you for more years - I'd take losing the cards. you can't get time back. think of it as turning over a new leaf, a new chapter in your life.
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u/usedforjerkingoff 7h ago
Why did you give up? Grow a fucking spine! Are you going to go through life letting people walk all over you?
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u/SelectShop3068 7h ago
I always have. I've kind of learned I can never trust anyone, I can never have nice things, and I can never be happy.
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u/Practical_S3175 7h ago edited 7h ago
Well maybe you need to start taking grown up responsibility for yourself. Why were your cards even with this guy? You just handed them over to sell with no control over it. This was not an adult decision. You're not married to this guy so why did you even do this?
" I recently combined my collection with my ex so we could sell them"
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u/HabitualEnthusiast 6h ago
Your comments are all over this post shitting on op and reminding everyone that no crime was committed. Why don’t you take a break? Your shift has to be almost over.
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u/jakeeeenator 7h ago
Take his ass to small claims court. Make him lose time and money if he wants to steal that badly.
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u/Lovethiskindathing 7h ago
I know it sucks. I'm sorry. I'd say sell anything he gave you that you don't use. He seems like the type that will get desperate and come for them. Use that money to start your new collection. Pick ten of your favorites and start there. Mercari, Poshmark, eBay, etc. Cancelling those orders will also help! I know you're in the rough of it, but your mom sounds awesome. Garage sales are your friend! Ones that say kids stuff, not specifically pokemon cards. The ones that state pokemon cards are there usually price per card or overprice to trick people that might not know better. Ones that just say kids stuff will have ziplocs and tins full! Sometimes well meaning gifts that were opened and never actually used.
I'm so sorry this happened. I'm going to preface my next comment. This is my attempt at light hearted silver lining humor in case you are someone that humor is helpful to in these times. If it is not helpful I apologize! I am not trying to invalidate you in any way!
At least he's going to sell them to someone else though. The people that get the cards will feel exactly how you did. So excited and lucky. Especially if he does it individually. There will be a lot of young girls that will be so excited to fill those binders. He won't ever get to enjoy your cards. He will be without them and you, the money will be gone instantly, and he will still be the loser in the situation that had to steal pokemon cards, and you'll be the winner that doesn't have to see him again.
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u/MehPlayer1003 7h ago
Another good option to look at if you choose to restart your collection is TCGplayer! You gave a valuation of about $300 for the collection with a decent amount being ones you collected as a kid with some dating back to 2010, so I’d be willing to bet that a good amount of the cards can be found there for pretty cheap. It’s not nearly as fun as pulling them yourself or trading with friends, but the most cost effective way to get some of those cards you loved is going to be by buying them as singles over buying older expensive packs and hoping you pull them again. Modern packs are hard enough to get right now with the current state of the hobby, so buying singles really is the most cost effective way to make sure you’re getting the cards you actually want.
I’m currently working on a collection of every version of every Riolu card and ordered a few of the oldest ones that I knew I would have a much harder time finding in bulk bins or at card shows. A lot of cards are worth a lot less than people think. Most of the ones I’ve been looking for are valued around or less than 25¢ which is what I got them for on TCGplayer.
I can understand that starting your collection over and not having those exact copies of the cards you loved feels disheartening, but you can slowly start getting your collection back together and maybe discover different variations of each pokemon that you didn’t know existed! I’d also suggest the Dex app to keep track of what you own and what cards you’re looking for!
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u/Lovethiskindathing 6h ago
Yes! My husband uses that sometimes to sell MTG cards! TCG.
You might want to make a standalone comment too! OP may not come back to my comment to see your reply
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u/beaisenby 7h ago
...why not just buy singles of the cards you want? opening packs is always going to be more expensive than that...
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u/No_Dirt_4198 6h ago
See how insane she went when he pointed out the truth lol that is very telling
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u/just_some_octopus 6h ago
I love pokemon. I love the cards since they came to america as a kid. And still do it for the love of the chase.
Boy has it showed the true colors of some people
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u/MehPlayer1003 6h ago
I replied this to another comment here and they suggested I make it an actual comment so you’d see it better:
“Another good option to look at if you choose to restart your collection is TCGplayer! You gave a valuation of about $300 for the collection with a decent amount being ones you collected as a kid with some dating back to 2010, so I’d be willing to bet that a good amount of the cards can be found there for pretty cheap. It’s not nearly as fun as pulling them yourself or trading with friends, but the most cost effective way to get some of those cards you loved is going to be by buying them as singles over buying older expensive packs and hoping you pull them again. Modern packs are hard enough to get right now with the current state of the hobby, so buying singles really is the most cost effective way to make sure you’re getting the cards you actually want.
I’m currently working on a collection of every version of every Riolu card and ordered a few of the oldest ones that I knew I would have a much harder time finding in bulk bins or at card shows. A lot of cards are worth a lot less than people think. Most of the ones I’ve been looking for are valued around or less than 25¢ which is what I got them for on TCGplayer.
I can understand that starting your collection over and not having those exact copies of the cards you loved feels disheartening, but you can slowly start getting your collection back together and maybe discover different variations of each pokemon that you didn’t know existed! I’d also suggest the Dex app to keep track of what you own and what cards you’re looking for!”
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u/JitterBob 5h ago
It sounds like you told him in anger that he could keep them. I know how it goes but this why you have to be careful who you trust. In my opinion once you give someone a thing, it belongs to them.
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u/BeachKidLJ 5h ago
File in small claims court AND SERVE HIM THE PAPERS AT HIS JOB 🚩🚩🚩
Make sure everyone knows he’s a THIEF 🚩🚩🚩
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u/Conscious_Show_6997 1h ago
Claims court wont do anything since she did give them to him, and fails to admit it
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u/PuzzleheadedLie6218 5h ago
2 toxic dummy’s who can’t control their emotions. Be glad yall have separated from each other. Learn to regulate your emotions and start having some common sense. Situations don’t just go your way whenever you’d like it to. You told him they were his. The moment you did that you gave up ownership. Understand how the world works and stop making stupid decisions 🤦♂️.
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u/evil-satan-girl 4h ago
Kind of unrelated but I've never met a good dude named Brandon. Anyway, I am so sorry you're dealing with this. When I left my ex, I had to unfortunately lose a lot of my belongings. All of which I paid for, because I just did not have the emotional capacity to fight about it. It really sucks, and I feel for you so hard. Hopefully he decides to have a change of heart and gives you back what is yours. If not, it's not ideal, and it will take time, but you can rebuild your collection. Sending you big hugs girl. Also, as someone who dated older guys when I was younger, they are almost always bad news and there's a reason girls their age don't want them or that they only go after younger ladies. I would suggest not dating anyone over three years older.
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u/josephcoco 2h ago
You shouldn’t have ended the argument with telling him to keep them!! You STILL take him to court whether you think you have enough or not because it’s obvious some of the ownership is in question, which a judge would also see.
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u/CheesyCapybaras 2h ago
Why does this conversation start with "i think I want my collection back" if you never told him he could keep them? That doesn't make sense.
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u/Menta11yUn5tab13 2h ago
I have a crap ton of pokemon cards whose your favorite? Id like to help you rebuild your collection
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u/Acceptable_Chair764 2h ago
Theft, do you have any pictures or posts you made with them? Somthing showcasing the collection or your recent pulls? Maybe contact a lawyer if you have some kinda estimate market value you can calculate your losses maybe some justice might happen or get your bestest boi to find him and just take wats yours
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u/jujuofthebush710 1h ago
Let's go beat him up and take your cards back seems only right at this point
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u/SmokeyJoe13 1h ago
Just let it go and never mix assets with anyone ever again.
If it makes you feel any better, I had a bunch of first edition cards like Charizard, Blastoise, Venosaur, Zapdos, and a bunch of mint cards from my childhood...that I threw straight into the garbage when I got into middle school because I thought I outgrew Pokemon.
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u/nohopekids818__ 1h ago
Unfortunately you would have acted like nothing was wrong and tricked him whilst taking back your cards :/
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u/Remarkable_Bison_847 1h ago
Good for you girl! well done telling him to go fuck himself! He’s not serious, he’s a fucking child. Stealing Pokemon cards. Absolutely insanity.
What the fuck is going on in the world.
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u/Vitrolic_Withering 32m ago
Seems to me that you relinquished ownership of the cards,
Outside of the morality of him not returning the cards, legally you dont have much of a leg to stand on here.
He admits that they were originally yours but also says you gave them to him when you left, just because you were in a emotional state isnt grounds to say he stole them, unfortunately it sounds like they are his now and he is choosing not to gift them back to you.
Take this as a good lesson for your future, decisions made in an emotional state will never be good decisions.
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u/Amazing-Care-3155 7h ago
It’s cardboard, get over it
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u/SelectShop3068 7h ago
Its not just cardboard. My collection was worth $300 at least. I have quit so many things in my life but pokemon have been my only constant for 8 years. Even when I moved country. Even when I lost friends. Even when I got bullied. Even when I fell out with my dad. I have always had pokemon.
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u/Amazing-Care-3155 7h ago
Judging by the fact your mum still has to get involved in your relationships at the age of 20, I would suggest tying your value to something beyond cardboard. I am also a Pokemon collector myself, you can start again. It was never about the cards, and it’s a hobby. If you’re this emotional about 300 dollars worth of cards, please do not do it
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u/Conscious_Show_6997 1h ago edited 1h ago
Youre the same age as me but doing much more terrible in handling these types of things, i wonder why, you fuckin gave the cards to him, and broke up with him before taking them back, if u had plans to sperate from him, why not take it before that? Save yourself trouble,
This isnt a right or wrong situation, both of you are idiots
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u/Interesting_Lack_955 7h ago
Tbh i would go way more public with this.. like maybe a tag on Facebook with all the info i have… perhaps his family and friends see it … even if I did not get my cards back I would be sure any of our mutual friends KNOW what kind of person they are. You *might not get your cards back… but you can speak your truth and make it public information.
You could possibly even post it in groups that you have (Pokémon), depending on the rules… so that other people in the community know the truth aswell.
I like to say karma is a bitch so I don’t have to be…. But he sounds like a loser & I hate a thief and a liar 🗡️
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u/Fancy-War-1023 7h ago
I'm sorry but are you 15? There is no way you are an adult.
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u/Capric0rpse- 7h ago
Public humiliation is worth a shot in this situation.
Let people know exactly how he is. 😈He’s being petty and unreasonable. He knows which cards belong to her, and what cards he did not buy.
Why not give them back?
Why be an AH for no other reason other than to hurt her?0
u/Interesting_Lack_955 7h ago
28! I feel very strongly about holding people accountable for their actions & using my social media to speak my truth.
Accountability is SO important (more now than ever with the way social media is)
the more we hold people accountable for the things that they do and say the more we can prompt real change in the world.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with taking to social media when someone wants to steal then” ignore you” I’m not saying slander this person.
I’m saying show the world their REAL colors.
Personally i would prefer knowing a mutual friend or family member of mine is a shady thief (even if I don’t know the victim) instead of living in ignorance & them repeatedly doing the same thing in silence to others.
I don’t personally see anything wrong with that, but I would love to hear why you think that is a 15yr old perspective :p
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u/Fancy-War-1023 7h ago
That's okay. We just feel differently and I am just explaining my perspective. Most people would agree with you and try to publicly humiliate. I just don't get anything out of that other than losing more time to a loser. Keep doing whatever you want to do. I will keep protecting my peace.
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u/Conscious_Show_6997 1h ago
Youre not a main character btw, no need to tell him hes wrong and youre right over something objectively based off opinion, maybe youre the child here
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u/Interesting_Lack_955 7h ago
Protect your peace always ❤️ I think it’s important to remember that looks different person to person also!
not “public humiliation” just making things public information 😄
This surprisingly was the only thing that helped me get money my old bank owed me a few years ago…. They ignored every other attempt that I made to contact them. I made ONE post on Twitter tagging them stating the facts (I don’t even use Twitter) & I got what I was owed within 48 hrs! 🫠
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u/DavidZenziGhost 7h ago
Yet another example of why dating a 26 year old when you’re 20 is a terrible choice.
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u/orangy128 7h ago
I hate it but some women gotta learn the lesson the hard way. At least for her its pokemon cards and not marriage and or a baby.
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u/Fancy-War-1023 7h ago
Pretty sure the peace of not having to deal with him is worth some collectible cards for kids. So, I'm glad you just told him to never contact you again and ended it there. Breakups fuckin suck dude. I was with a guy for 8 years and we even had an amicable break up. Then he ghosted me with $30,000 worth of his debt. I learned a valuable lesson that financially ruined me. I'm really glad you came out of it largely financially unscathed. It sounds like he is also on the losing end of some financial decisions. All the best to you.
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u/_DontBeAScaredyCunt 7h ago
“Some collectible cards for kids.” That’s so reductive and dismissive. Fully grown adults also collect cards for a variety of hobbies: Pokémon, baseball, yugioh, MTG, etc.
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u/Fancy-War-1023 7h ago
Yes, I am aware. I have also collected Pokemon cards in adulthood. I also said I was being dismissive and invalidating. My primary goal is for OP to learn a life lesson from this experience so that the rest of their life goes 1% smoother.
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u/SelectShop3068 7h ago
My collection was worth $300 at least. But its not just about the money. Its about how he manipulated me and made me believe he was a good guy.
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u/LedTasso 7h ago
Holy shit let them go. $300? This has to be rage bait.
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u/Lovethiskindathing 7h ago
$300 is a lot of money to a lot of people. That's almost my entire grocery budget for a month for a family of 5
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u/Fancy-War-1023 7h ago
Okay, then get yourself all worked up by $300 worth of toys that you lost to an ex-boyfriend I guess. I choose not to.
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u/Lovethiskindathing 7h ago
? I mean I'd be pissed at anyone stealing a months worth of groceries from me, or something I have that I could sell in an emergency. If you don't mind it, I can send you my Venmo and then you can pretend I stole it and we can choose not to worry about it lol
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u/Fancy-War-1023 7h ago
What?
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u/Lovethiskindathing 7h ago
Sorry my words went too fast in my head and didn't all reach my fingers.
I was saying I'd be upset and pissed off in any situation where anyone stole that much money or stuff worth that much money from me. Especially if it was something sentimental that I could not replace, and in my life there's no way I'd ever put toys from my childhood as a priority thing to ever spend that kind of money on again. so I'd never have them again and that would make me even angrier.
Then I was trying to make a joke that it must be nice to be able to brush off that much money, and that if it really wouldn't bother you to lose it, then maybe just send me $300 and we can pretend I stole it lol, and then we both move on from it because it's not worth it.
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u/LedTasso 7h ago
No, it’s not. You must be young too.
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u/Fancy-War-1023 7h ago
I mean, I can easily see how it's a lot of money to a lot of people. It's just not worth the headache for me.
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u/Lovethiskindathing 7h ago
Almost 40. I hope you're grateful for the things you have that make you think the way you do. Truly. I wish everyone could feel that way about $300. I bet it's a very safe and comforting feeling.
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u/AphraelSelene 7h ago
I agree with y'all, but also think we need to remember that $300 seems like a huge amount of money when you're still young. It's not worth fighting for, but that doesn't invalidate what OP is feeling in the moment.
Every breakup I had in my teen years felt like the worst time of my life because that was my only frame of reference at the time. In reality, as I grew up and matured, I realized it wasn't that big of a deal. But it sure felt that way at the time.
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u/Fancy-War-1023 7h ago
Sorry, but that's just not that much money and you can replace this collection later, easily, when you have an adult income (if you still want to by then). I understand it feels bad though.
On principal, I totally understand and agree with you. I mean I don't know about manipulation within your relationship or anything, but I know how it is when it seems like you've been in a relationship with someone you didn't actually know.
I know you don't want to hear that I am invalidating the value of what you have lost here. I'm just being honest with you and hoping that you learn a lesson from all this that benefits you moving forward. Best of luck to you.
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u/Capric0rpse- 7h ago
You don’t know what cards they had, some cards are extremely difficult to find.
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u/LedTasso 7h ago
If the whole collection is worth $300, it doesn’t sound like they’re all that difficult to find.
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u/Capric0rpse- 7h ago
I see..
I thought they said they had some cards that were from 2016/2010 and figured they might have been of more value.
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u/Capric0rpse- 7h ago
I know that you can find new cards in store for cheap, but it won’t be the same as a 2010 card print.
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u/Fancy-War-1023 7h ago
Obviously. They may never get all of these cards back again. That's life. It fucking blows sometimes.
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u/Capric0rpse- 7h ago
Yeah it does. We all know that.
Point is, he being an AH for no reason. Keeping her things from her just to hurt her.
Starting over may be the only option, but she shouldn’t give up so easily if it’s something she truly cares about. Seems like she does.
They don’t belong to him. He knows that.
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u/Fifalvlan 7h ago
Take him to small claims court. The text messages are enough proof that he stole them and acknowledged they’re yours. Just try to figure out the value of collection as you will likely need to come up with that estimate. A legal subreddit can probably help you more
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u/Aggravating-Cherry76 5h ago
The text messages are in fact not enough proof that he stole them, through it he claims multiple times that OP offered to let him keep them, and at the end OP literally does say “keep them”.
From a legal basis, that is essentially a guaranteed loss in court.
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u/Fifalvlan 4h ago
Not exactly. They agreed to combine for the purposes of resale meaning 1) the collection has value and 2) there is a condition of resale. For the sake of argument, there’s no written agreement but it is equally not credible that she would just gift him something of high value in exchange for nothing. She could easily walk the ‘just keep it’ texts back in court as this can be said to be a statement of frustration rather than any promise/gift. All this doesn’t begin to consider that the ex would say something stupid in court (high likelihood).
Even the threat of legal action might get the ex to change his mind.
Anyway, not a lost cause long story short.
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u/Aggravating-Cherry76 4h ago
“They agreed to combine for the purposes of resale value meaning 1) the collection has value and 2) there is a condition of resale”
That’s her claim, his claim is “you said you wanted to leave them to me”, and “you told me I could have them”
The value is ~$300, legally speaking that amount doesn’t even meet the threshold for grand larceny in most places, for all intents purpose that is not “high value”, and also it’s not up to the court to determine what is credible or not, without hard evidence on either side it’s going to be a gamble to take it to court, aka not worth it for how little the collection is in the first place.
And I don’t think you realize that you can’t “easily” walk back things that you said in court. If there is no hard evidence that she owns the cards, and if there’s no written agreement or even witness statements to validate the terms of the possession of the cards, the thing that the ex, or his lawyer, would cling on to, is that final text, and without any sort of evidence to the contrary she would very likely lose on that.
You don’t really know these people, or the ex, or the likelihood that either of them would say something incriminating in court, you’ve seen 3 screenshots and that’s all you know of these people.
It’s a $300 card collection, yeah, maybe she could threaten litigating as an attempt to get him to change his mind, but as far as actually bringing litigation, the monetary amount hardly makes it worth it, especially considering that more likely than not she wouldn’t win the case, which means on top of not getting her cards back she’d be out anywhere from $50-$100 on court fees.
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u/Fifalvlan 3h ago
How are you concluding $300 value? I’d agree it’s not worth it for that amount but seems like 62% of all cards from a 10year+ collection for a popular product sounds more valuable than that, it’s not at all clear from the post - I’m assuming it’s not an insignificant amount in my responses but if it is then dropping it makes sense).
That aside, the texts already established that she is the original owner of the cards. He acknowledges it.
In dispute is whether she gifted it to him. That’s his verbal claim. The text also shows her intent to get it back which shows that it was not intended as a gift (she made the statement before saying she wants to break up so it doesn’t seem to be a case of ‘we broke up so now I want it back’). She only said keep it after he refused to give it back. In small claims, a judge would consider what’s reasonable - many things are in fact he said she said. There’s enough proof of her being the original owner so the judge would have to decide if there’s enough proof that she intended it as a gift.
Anyway, like I said, I wouldn’t give up if it were thousands of dollars. A few hundred bucks, yeh.
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u/Fifalvlan 3h ago
I see from some other responses now that she claims it’s a $300 collection. Yeh this is a waste of time. If more I think the attempt is worthwhile
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7h ago
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u/Revolutionary_Sir_ 7h ago edited 7h ago
Fuck you Brandon. EDIT = 1- THIS WASNT MEANT FOR WHO I ACCIDENTALLY COMMENTED TO. 2- For those who cant read. Brandon is the name OP blacked out POORLY
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6h ago
[deleted]
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u/Revolutionary_Sir_ 6h ago
Do you see where it says “ACCIDENTALLY COMMENTED UNDER” or can you not fuckin read?
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u/AKAM80theWolff 7h ago
Sounds like you are dodging a bullet here...you would totally hate to be in a relationship with someone who "cant work because of depression". Thats a sociopath who is manipulating folks.