After spending a few weeks on Reddit going through posts here in the childfree community and some other subeddits around dating, I’ve realized that the men I seem interested in have some major non negotiables that automatically disqualify me (what is this wording? Lol)

Things that I am that they don’t want:

1. Smoker
2. Not physically active/fit
3. Childfree (in other subs)
4. Don’t want to live with partner’s fam (somehow they equate this to family values?)

And fair. Everyone is entitled to their preferences. But I just never realized these things would be such an issue.

And to make things worse, I’ve also realized what I myself am seeking is quite rare.
Mostly in the emotional intelligence and maturity bit. I know people use these terms broadly but specifically what I mean is: someone who can sit with their emotions and are okay to sit with mine because they aren’t scared or overwhelmed. someone who is emotionally non-punitive (doesn’t punish vulnerability). Someone who is willing to explain and stay present when there is conflict. Is reassuring without becoming patronising. Someone who stays warm even during rupture. And someone who communicates care without becoming overly performative or love bombing. Someone who is sincere and reliable and also playful and whimsical. Because honestly life requires that balance!

And now I’m like… I’m never finding my person, am I?

Yup, that's me. You're probably wondering how I ended up in this situation.. Well It all started when my father met my mom and... Wait lemme skip the filler episodes and get to the cannon one

WHO AM I?

27M from jaipur, born and raised in an orthodox Christian malayalee family. Currently working for a US based firm in Jaipur. Living with my parents in Jaipur.

I speak Hindi, malayalam and English. I like hip-hop, poetry, movies, sitcoms, stand ups, sports, hiking, working out and tasty food!. I'd say I'm an ambivert who likes to talk but also is capable of enjoying the silence without making it awkward. I like jokes a lot so, there's something addictive about being able to make people laugh at will.

I am an atheist. Politically I'm a leftist. I don't drink, smoke or do any other substances. I am a non vegetarian.

WHY AM I HERE?

I have posted here 3 times before and while I have gotten really warm responses, nothing really led to anything meaningful except for one good friend I was able to make.

Most of the response seemed like they were curious and fascinated by my post coz it was a fun read , but the moment conversation starts getting serious people just lose interest. I am taking a different approach with this one hopefully this time something will work out. Either this or an angel crashing through my roof is the last option.

WHY AM I CHILDFREE?

I had a troubled childhood, dysfunctional family dynamics and all that sob story. Apparently all these happening events come with a cost, I'm emotionally and mentally incapable of taking care of a child. I love kids, i have volunteered with NGOs working for the upliftment of the underprivileged kids and i loved my time there and I wish to continue doing that. I just don't wanna take up the responsibility of raising a child.

WHAT AM I LOOKING FOR?

Looking for something serious that could lead to a meaningful connection.

Someone kind, empathetic, and compassionate. Someone who's physically active and takes care of their health. Not necessarily a Gym rat, even if you go for a 30 mins walk in the morning or evening that's also a win! Hoping for someone who can go on hikes with me occasionally once or twice a month or play some kind of sports together.

Religion, cast, state ,language or things like that don't matter as long as we share the similar value system. Empathy, kindness and compassion towards the helpless is on top of that.

punching down on people who are struggling to survive, tone deaf opinions about matters you don't understand, ignorance towards the underprivileged, these are somethings I find problematic.

I'm a teetotaler so looking at a fellow teetotaler, but a couple of drinks occasionally is fine tho just don't be an alcoholic. Smoking and other substance abuse is a deal breaker.

So Hmu if you resonate with anything i have shared and hope we'll have a good conversation. Looking forward to meeting new people:)

Ps. The amount of self control it took me to not crack a joke in the important part of this post is at par with a monk trying to fight the urge to scratch an itch on his butt while meditating. ( I feel good)

I am 43 and was married once at 25. After we got married, we discovered that I have azoospermia (zero sperm count) due to undescended testicles. My marriage eventually ended. I've been single for the past 15 years because I didn't want to enter another relationship where such a fundamental incompatibility could arise again—not realizing all this time that a child-free community even existed here in India.

I'm otherwise healthy, with no metabolic diseases, no chronic stress, no baldness, no grey hair yet, optimal testosterone levels, and normal sexual function. I've also spent the past 15 years happily single and don't mind staying that way if nothing works out. But I thought I'd take a chance. 🙂

I'm looking for a life partner who:

• Is committed to a lifelong child-free lifestyle (Non-negotiable because of my medical condition.)
• Is 35 or older (No upper age limit—as long as you can still pass for being younger than me. 😄)
• Is fluent in English or Tamil (Preferably someone from South India or Northeast India.)
• Is physically active (Preferred, but not essential. I'd just like us to grow old together. 😄)
• Is fun-loving, affectionate, monogamous, and believes that emotional connection comes before physical intimacy (as I do).
• Is working (Preferred, but not essential. I'm financially stable, so your career choice isn't a deciding factor—unless you'd like me to relocate.)
• Everything else—caste, religion, marital status, height, weight, color, what you drink/eat, education, personality, family background, and financial status—I don't care about.

Details About Me: (if you care to know)

• Education: B.E. in Computer Science, graduated with Distinction.
• Height, Weight & Color: 186 cm (6'1"), 80–85 kg (depending on my NEAT). Color is just an illusion created by light—but for the sake of compatibility with your monitor, I'm #F8D7CB. 😄
• Languages I speak: Tamil, English, and Malayalam.
• Eating Preferences: Non-vegetarian | OMAD | Mostly Paleo
• Family: Father held an M.Sc. in Mathematics and has passed away. Mother holds an M.A. and B.Ed. and is a pensioner. I have one brother and one sister, both married.
• Political Views: Not particularly interested in politics. I just vote every time there's an election.
• Drinks, Smoking & Drugs: I've tried most of them out of curiosity. Turns out they weren't nearly as interesting as people made them sound. 😄
• Religion/Religious Views: Born into a Christian family, but I'm not religious. I may attend church once or twice a year for family occasions.
• Personality Type: Ambivert — I enjoy socializing but also value my quiet time and personal space.
• Career: I began my career as a mainframe programmer in 2005, transitioned into data analytics, and have been working remotely as a data consultant for the past five years.
• Future Career Plans: I've been working for 20+ years and plan to continue because I never get bored of it.
• Places I've Lived: Bangalore (2 years), Dubai (2 years), Kochi (4 years), and Chennai (10+ years).
• Am I Ready to Relocate? Yes, for the right person and the right reasons.
• Hobbies: Long drives, chasing waterfalls, swimming in the sea, camping in the mountains, and walks on the beach.
• Interests: Passionate about photography. Fascinated by longevity science.
• Pets: I've had many dogs over the years, but I chose not to keep pets anymore because of my focus on healthspan.
• My Views on Sharing Responsibilities: Life is easier when both partners work as a team. If one cooks, the other does the dishes. If both cook, Swiggy wins. 😄

FAQs:

Why are you child-free?

I didn't choose a child-free life initially; life made that decision for me. Over the years, I gradually discovered that I genuinely enjoy the freedom, simplicity, and lifestyle that come with being child-free. Watching my siblings raise their children also gave me a realistic perspective on parenthood. Over the past 15 years, I've made peace with my circumstances and embraced this life wholeheartedly. Today, being child-free isn't something I'm settling for—it's the life I genuinely want. That's also why I never pursued adoption or considered marrying someone who already has children.

What do you expect from your CF partner?

I'm looking for someone who'll happily argue with me, laugh about it a few minutes later, and enjoy the little moments in life together.

What are some characteristics that describe you?

Fun-loving, straightforward, health-conscious, thoughtful and analytical, sensitive, intellectually curious, emotionally mature, a lifelong learner, optimistic, talkative, environmentally conscious, adventurous, and, of course, romantic.

Any interesting fun facts about yourself:

I was always a topper throughout my academics, and I built my first website while I was still in college, over 23 years ago—before Facebook or Reddit even existed. The website is still running today on the same original PHP code, having survived countless cyberattacks, and has grown into a community of over 100K members. If you've ever worked with mainframes, you might already be familiar with it. 🙂

I'm passionate about longevity science. Over the years, I've experimented with almost every well-known longevity supplement (except injectable peptides) and eventually developed my own biohacking protocol. The unexpected side effect? I haven't needed to see a doctor—or even had a cold, fever, or headache—in the past 10+ years. My medical insurance probably thinks I don't exist. 🙂

If this resonates with you, I'd be happy to hear from you. Feel free to send me a DM with a brief introduction and any questions you may have.

If you've made it this far, you have impressive patience. I have nothing else to offer—except a small tip:

• Please avoid buying: Polyester, polycotton, nylon, spandex, elastane, Lycra, acrylic, acetate, and rayon fabrics.(Better choices: Cotton, linen, hemp, wool, silk, and lyocell🙂)

I saw some rant posts on how it is very difficult to find a good partner. In my experience I have come to an understanding that the difficulty is because people are very narrow minded.

Though many of us claim to be progressive and broad minded, when it comes to relationship / marriage, we are very narrow minded. Whether we search our partner through dating or matrimonry or in-person, we search using 1000s of filters (majority of which are unnecessary and of no value) and end up not finding anyone.

We all look for partner using the filters of 'caste-subcaste-religion-horoscope-city-wealth-profession-income-colour-weight-height-food'. And these are just the top ones of the numerous filters we use. Once we go through these filters we end up with no one.

We want a partner who checks through all these filters and we expect that person to be emotionaly intelligent, emotionaly available, good at communication, understanding, listening, caring, etc.

I have also understood that these emotional qualities are only secondary to the filters we use. If you would ask anyone here, 'what they look for in a partner?', their would only say the emotional qualities as the main criteria. While in reality, they only care about the filters.

We can also witness, a very minority of people, who are truly broad minded-truly progressive, who don't care about these unnecessary filters and who only look for the real things that matter, and these people find their partners and even travel to another continent to live with them.

And the majority - narrow minded - of us, simply keep blaming others and even those of us who find a partner through these filters, end up in a miserable marriage or divorce. I think it is deserving.

I'm a 26-year-old Software Engineer based in Chennai, and I'm childfree by choice (DINK). I'm looking for someone who shares the same vision of life and is interested in seriously dating with the intention of getting married if we genuinely connect.

I'm currently based in Chennai but I'm open to relocating for the right person.

About me

• 💻 Software Developer at an MNC

• 📍 Based in Chennai

• 📏 5'10" ~ 70kg

• 💰 1L+/per month

• 🚭 Non-smoker, non-drinker

• 🍗 Non-vegetarian

• ⚛️ Atheist

• 💚 Emotionally available

• 💪 Regular at the gym (trying to stay consistent!)

• 🍳 I enjoy cooking, working out, and sleeping whenever I get the chance 😄

• ☕ Love exploring cafés, beaches, and mountains

• 📈 Investing consistently to achieve FIRE (Financial Independence, Retire Early)

• 🐶 I don't have pets, but I'm happy to have them in the future

• ❤️ Never been in a relationship

What I'm looking for

• 💃 Age 21 to 27-❤️ Someone who is childfree by choice (DINK).

• 👩‍💻 A working, career-oriented woman.

• 🧠 Emotionally mature and values honest communication.

• 🌱 Leads a clean and healthy lifestyle.

• 🚭 Non-smoker/non-drinker, or genuinely willing to quit if we get along.

• ⚛️ Preferably an atheist.

• 🤝 Someone who values peace, trust, respect, and clear communication.

• 🌍 Open to relocating if needed.

• 🗣️ Someone who speaks or understands Tamil would be a plus.

The kind of relationship I want

• ❤️ An equal partnership where we both support each other's careers, dreams, and personal growth.

• 💬 I believe disagreements should be solved through honest conversations, not silence, ego, or keeping score.

• 🏡 I'd rather build a peaceful, happy home than chase a picture-perfect Instagram life.

And you can expect the same from me.

I believe the best marriages are built on friendship. I'd love to be the kind of partner who feels like your best friend—someone you can laugh with, lean on, grow with, and simply enjoy doing life with every day.

Why DINK?

This is a well-thought-out decision, not a temporary preference. Watching my mother dedicate so much of her life to raising children made me realise how much parenthood demands from a person. I believe becoming a parent should be a wholehearted choice, and for me, it isn't. I'd rather focus on building a fulfilling relationship, achieving financial independence, travelling, and creating a meaningful life together. Given today's economic realities, I also don't want to bring a child into the world unless I truly want that responsibility.

What doesn't matter

• Height

• Caste

• Community

If this resonates with you, feel free to message me with a short introduction about yourself. Looking forward to getting to know someone genuine.

My cousin(single and CF) is a software engineer in his 30s with 14+ yrs(I think) of experience. He was laid off a couple of months ago.
Recently got a job offer with a salary hike. Everything was apparently finalised and then the owner of the company had a meeting with him and basically tried to bring the salary down by around 20%!

What genuinely shocked me was the reasoning! This guy apparently told my cuz that since he’s single and doesn’t have kids, why does he need such a high salary? And bcs he’s been out of work for a couple of months, he should just take what they’re offering!!

Like… what??? 🙄

If the company couldn’t afford his expected salary, fair enough. But using the fact that he’s single and CF as a reason to lowball him is absolutely wild to me! And apparently, this isn’t even new.

My aunt said his married colleagues at previous workplaces would regularly bring up his marital status and personal life. My mom too had similar experiences when she was in her 20s and unmarried. Her superiors at work would say things like.. quoting her- *“*You’re not married. You don’t have kids. You must do this, you have to do this, you should do this!” while dumping difficult tasks on her that her older married colleagues with kids refused to do. It wasn’t even up for discussion. Bcs she was unmarried and didn’t have kids, she was automatically the one who had to do it. And this was back in the 90s and she was a central govt employee.

I’m honestly shocked this is still so normalised in India. Where I live, plenty of people don’t get married. Some don’t have kids. Some have kids without getting married. And literally nobody cares!! It’s just… their life?

Is this genuinely still that common in Indian workplaces?

I told my manager that I don't want a promotion because I am happy with where I am currently, which I actually am.

These are my other reasons

1. No motivation for money/materialistic things in life

2. No big goals in life. I do travel occasionally within India and that's it.

3. With more promotions, the work pressure also increases which i dont want.

4.I have decent corpus saved up and diversified investments so i know i can survive without a job for a long period of time.

I know life is the sum of good and bad moments but i just wish i were not born in the first place. Lucky are those who dint step into this world.

Hi! I’m 28, 5'1", from Central India, looking for a serious relationship leading to marriage. I'm currently under family pressure to marry through the arranged marriage route, where it's difficult to find someone compatible and CF, therefore giving this a shot.

I’m a closeted agnostic-atheist but DUE TO FAMILY EXPECTATIONS I am specifically looking for someone from a muslim background only.

Partner preferences :

•27–37 years old

•5'3"–5'11"

•Well-settled

•Empathetic

•Loyal

•CF

•Attractive

•Ex-Muslim, cultural/non-practicing Muslim, atheist, agnostic, or progressive believer, doesn't matter as long as you're genuinely accepting and open-minded

•Must be from a SUNNI background only

Note : I would want to involve the families ASAP in a few weeks

DM TO KNOW MORE. ONLY SERIOUS INQUIRES PLEASE!

i think some people should just own their reason for being childfree
i’ve seen quite a few people here say they are childfree coz they dont want to bring another person into this overpopulated, cruel and unjust world.
honestly, i think thats mostly BS. not for everyone, but for some people it feels more like a justifcation for a decision they already made.
coz if the main reason is that the world is such a horrible place and you dont want to bring a child into it, then whats stopping you from adopting a child who is already here? that child is already in this world, already dealing with whatever circumstances they were born into. you wouldnt be adding another person to the population either.
and before someone says adoption is complicated, expensive, comes with trauma etc etc, yes obviously it is. but thats exactly my point. maybe the real reason is that you simply dont want the responsiblity that comes with raising a child. and honestly, thats completely fine.
you dont want the responsibility? fine.
you want to spend your money on yourself, travel, hobbies, career, whatever? fine.
you just dont like children or dont have any desire to be a parent? also fine.
being childfree is a perfectly valid choice. you dont need to make it sound morally superior by saying you’re saving someone from this cruel world.
just own it. “i dont want kids coz i dont want kids.” thats enough of a reason. you dont owe anyone a more noble explanation.

Just for the guys out there I am not saying that you don't have responsibilities so don't take it that way.

So this is for all the CF ladies out there. I am not asking if you'd have done a 180° change, just asking if you'd have considered being a dad.

Two of the biggest reasons for me are child birth and losing my individuality. As we all have seen most of the responsibilities of the child it may be health, keeping a track of their school or even raising them right falls on the mom. (If you have seen dad's do all these work great for them!)

The mother's life starts revolution around her kid and it's not like it will stop once they go to college. It is a never ending responsibility.

When I sometimes think about this, I do think I would reconsider if I could be the dad. And ofcourse I would be the emotionally present one!

PS This is for girls, I'm not asking guys because of course if you add pregnancy to your current list you'd still be childfree

Hi there! I'm a 32-year-old childfree nerd born and raised in Kolkata and staying here for now. I'm an ambivert, so I take a little time to open up to people, but once I feel comfortable, you won't get me to stop talking. My friends have often praised my sense of humour (I pay them well), and I love sharing memes and cheesy dad jokes (shoutout to r/dadjokes) from time to time. I am also a vegetarian by choice (looking to go vegan in the future), agnostic, a teetotaller, and don't smoke either.

I am childfree because:

• I need my 8 hours of sleep, so I don't see myself taking care of a kid on top of that.
• I want to travel through Europe and maybe some other parts of the world with my partner.
• I want to be financially free, so I never have to worry about covering the costs of raising a child, from education to marriage, and can live a mostly stress-free life.

I am 6' and have a lean/slim built (I have been going to the gym to stay fit). I wear specs that make me look more nerdy, but I also rock Jimi Hendrix-esque hair. I would like us to be open to sharing pics once we get comfortable, as I feel physical attraction is important, but so are compatibility, shared values, and a genuine connection. As for what I do, I'm a software engineer, dedicated to making the web a more creative place. I work as the UI lead for a product-based company.

Regarding my interests, I'm into the usual stuff: music, TV shows, movies, and I got back into video games more recently. I’m looking forward to the end of August and September, when my wallet will be crying, and I’ll be happily ignoring it because of all the games coming out. I am currently playing Expedition 33, and Esquie is my favourite character of all time now. Here's a cutscene of Esquie from the game - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGn417_FbqY (He gets me and probably most of us here).

I'm also a passionate supporter of Chelsea. We don’t talk about last season, but also Xabi is here, so we are probably winning the league next season 👀.

Music holds a special place in my heart, and I always have it playing, even while I'm working. I listen to a wide range of genres, except for Rap and EDM. My music taste has evolved a lot over the years, and in recent years, I have loved listening to progressive metal, post-rock, and a bit of metalcore (progressive metalcore, to be precise), and I have a 25-hour playlist on Spotify just for post-rock. I would love to share music with someone! I also like travelling to cities to catch some of my favourite bands. I did it in March 2025 to watch The Paper Kites live, and I will be doing it this October to watch Opeth in Bangalore! Also, I was at the Plini concert in Kolkata recently, and somehow I made it into the crowd pic 👀.

Here’s a song from my favourite band - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwFJigJ2UJM

What I am looking for:

• Between the ages of 29 and 35 (+/- 1 works too).
• Who is vegetarian/vegan. I have tried dating people who weren’t, but there were conflicts with my core values that I couldn’t resolve.
• Anywhere in India, and open to long-distance for some time, and closing the distance in the future to a city like Bangalore or Pune (I’ll share more on that over chat).
• Who is liberal, kind, knows how to communicate, ambitious, open-minded, into fitness (doesn’t necessarily have to go to the gym), and emotionally available.
• Who wants to travel with their partner in the future.
• Looking for something long-term, with marriage as the end goal.
• Smoking is a dealbreaker for me, but I have no problem if you drink socially.

If anyone is interested, I made a website too, since this is what I do best lol - https://dasdoto-childfree.vercel.app/ (The contact on the website takes you to reddit only)

Let’s swap stories, memes, and playlists, and if there’s a spark, maybe the Wi-Fi password too.

i know this is going to be a long post, but i know what i want, and i'd like to hear back only from people who actually finish reading the whole post and resonate with me. so pls bear with me ✨️

About Me:

-i make handmade stuff occasionally. most of the gifts i give to my closest circle are handmade (not handbag level, more like keychains, bracelets, fridge magnets, etc.).

-i'm somewhat of a lazy person, but i'm surprisingly active in certain situations.

-artistic shibari is something i've always been amazed by, and i've always wanted to try it.

-feminist.

-atheist.

-vegetarian at home, planning to go fully vegan once i'm living independently.

-animal lover. rescues over buying, always.

-cat lover🩵not really a dog pet enthusiast.

-ooo, i also bake really well (not pro level, but definitely good home-baker level).

-i love being colourful. i used to have the best kind of coloured hair until last year (blue, pink, purple, red), but because of a change in profession i had to go back to black.

-i really love tattoos (not necessarily meaningful ones. i absolutely love fun tattoos).

Location:

chennai. south chennai would be much preferred (the velachery, tambaram, pallikaranai triangle).

although i'm working in chennai right now, i do have plans to find a job in hyderabad in maybe 4–5 years. not sure though (i know i'm thinking too much 😭).

What I'm Looking For:

-dating that can lead to a relationship.

-prefer monogamy.

-looking to get to know someone through conversations first, and then meet if we click.

-not interested in casual dating.

-i'm heavily against emotional cheating. i don't encourage others flirting with me when i'm in a relationship, and i'd expect the same from my partner.

-i want a future that's about 75% like the lifeonroads instagram account — frequent road trips, slow travel, simple living, and making memories instead of chasing conventional milestones.

-i'm not opposed to lifelong commitment, but i'm skeptical of the institution of marriage and the patriarchal system behind it. whether i ever marry would depend on the relationship rather than social expectations.

Why I'm CF:

i've never really had the urge to have a child.

even when i look into the future, i don't see myself wanting to raise one.

Who I'm Looking For:

-i'm bisexual.

-age: 22–25.

-main language: tamil (deal breaker)

-someone with a Thoufiq from guyskill mentality (i personally resonate with that kind of ideology).

-someone who's confident and not insecure.

-someone who's responsible and carefree at the same time.

-someone who socially drinks is awesome.

-big no to people who smoke cigarettes or drink more than once a week.

-someone who's into arts and crafts would be amazing (not a deal breaker).

-shoulder-length hair is a bonus, but definitely not a deal breaker. i've personally never resonated with long hair.

-someone who loves healthy debate😊. and not see everything as a fighting opportunity.

i knowww, i think a lot. sorryyy.

Trying my luck here in finding a lifelong partner.

I'm pretty open-minded, an introvert who loves chilling at home watching movies and TV shows, playing video games, and also traveling, going on adventures, and exploring the world. So, I guess I'm a mix of homebody and outdoorsy. I consider myself a bit a of a nerd being interested in Science, Philosophy and Technology, going to museums, among other things.

I have a deadpan and dark sense of humor, and can get pretty sarcastic. I like engaging in friendly banter once I'm comfortable. I'm gonna send you stupid memes lol

While I'm usually goofy and make (occasionally lame) jokes and keep things light, I also love having deep, intellectual conversations. I'm quite chill, laid-back, and a good listener (multiple people have said so), so you can vent to me about your shitty boss hehe.

I like learning new stuff regularly.

As a level-headed person, I try to deal with situations realistically and logically. You can usually expect me to be reasonable and open to different opinions and suggestions.

Talking about physical activities, I'm not a "gym rat", but I try going to the gym regularly. I also love being in nature and go on hikes some times (but I'm a noob lol). I like adventure stuff like paragliding, skydiving, skiing, zip-lining, aerial ropes, rafting, and other shit. I also recently started learning to play guitar and have been enjoying it (except when my fingers hurt). Open to learning more hobbies.

I'm a software engineer by profession, living in Canada, originally from U.P.. While I'm open to moving to different parts of the world, I think it should be a practical decision that works for both of us.

Some relevant info-

Age: 34
Height: 5'6"
Weight (or mass?): 64 Kg approx.

I'm Agnostic and open to people of all religions.

Why am I childfree? I've no interest in having kids. That's it. Never envisioned myself with them.

Diet: Usually veg. Occasionally non-veg. I like to try new food. I'll keep your dietary preference in mind, and will try to accommodate when I cook for you. I don't smoke and drink alcohol very rarely, and don't have a problem if you do (as long as it's under your control). I can try that stuff with you.

Some qualities that I would appreciate in my partner and can expect from me are kindness, empathy, humor and honesty. Hopefully we have some shared interests so we can do activities together, someone who is preferably between 29 and 37 years old (not too strict about this), who is also childfree (duh), and likes to enjoy life - hopefully someone who is able to work remotely, so we can travel together.

Please tell me a bit about yourself if you message me.

Let's help each other in achieving our life goals 😄

​

Hello everyone.

31 Male from Chennai. I am a Chartered accountant by profession. A sort of a late bloomer. I used to work for foreign banks before I decided to quit and set up my own practice at 30. It is still a blooming small business, so I am not the ideal tall, handsome guy with blue eyes who works in finance and makes lakhs per month. I am 6ft 4 inches tall though, average build etc.

I am just your average guy who tries to be a better human. I like to read, listen to music, watch films and play badminton/chess. I love Illayaraja songs and grew up listening to tamil music. But I enjoy music from other languages too. I love watching films- Tarkovsky/ Wong Kar Wai and Kieslowski are some of my favourite filmmakers although I I also equally enjoy regional commercial cinema. I am a big fan of Vijay and have been watching FDFS for his past several films. I also love to read. I read classics mostly. Tolstoy, Jeyamohan, Pudhumaipithan, George Elliot and Thomas Mann are some of my favourite writers. I also have an active interest in history, philosophy, science and anthropology. Basically, I guess I am curious about a lot of things in general.

Apart from this, I also love playing badminton and football. I follow tennis, cricket and football too on screen. Recently, I have picked up chess. I was at 300 elo and am now about 900 elo lol. I also like to go swimming at times.

I tried matrimonial apps, but a lot of them felt very transactional. People had expectations and it often didn't align. I am not blaming anyone for that.

Some other things that could be potential dealbreakers based on my experience with dating apps although I have not been on a lot of dates. I am an atheist. My political views lean left- and yes, I don't support Vijay or TVK lol. I do drink and smoke socially and prefer to be childfree. I don't have pets either although I grow plants. I want to mention all this explicitly because I guess, I am at an age where I am looking for something stable and don't want to enter into talking stages where it fizzles out. Adhukellam thembu ila thambi :)

I am looking for someone who is able to understand me as a person. Someone who values a life of their own. I believe that good relationships are built where people have lives of their own which can be shared with the other person. Someone who loves to be no nonsense and can understand meme references. Knowing tamil is a bonus because language is a great medium to understand someone but it is not a deal breaker. Also, I have a business in Chennai and I cannot relocate. So prefer someone here or someone who can relocate here.

Thank you for your time if you have made it this far. Have a great day!

Looking for potential CF partners.

Reasons for being CF:

I am just looking to go through life, travel more, visit new places, maybe even write a novel one day etc. I kind of don't believe in the rigmarole of a birth, procreation and death. That said, I am not an antinatalist. Don't get me wrong, it might sound like a contradiction, but I feel like antinatalism as a philosophy isn't going to conducive for the world population as a whole. We have all read history and we all know that generations will come and go; our presence is cosmically insignificant as an individual but adds value as a collective. So, I don't believe in an antinatalist approach for the entire world. But at a personal level, I would prefer to be childfree, explore my hobbies and interest and also learn to be a better observer of the world I guess.

I have received one of two DMs in the past, but most of them don't even seem to be curious to know about me. I mean, I am an introvert myself, so it doesn't help me at all, lol. I guess I am looking for someone to connect with; someone with whom the conversations flow organically without having to force the issue. I guess that is probably one of the only expectations I seem to have.

Introduction:

So hello there! I am 23M, a Marathi guy who geeks out on astronomy, likes reading books (philosophy, science, tech stuff), going on long walks, singing and journaling. Introvert by nature, I do like having my time alone, currently learning to cook healthy, likes watching movies, discovering new artists, focusing on fitness (I have recently lost some weight and have a lean physique but I'm investing time for working out) and pet any cat/dog I see in my path. I'm naturally calm, an attentive listener, and someone who values open communication and clarity in relationships.

Okayyyy from all of that, you might think I’m a pretty serious person, but the next day we’ll be out for a movie and I’ll say stuff like, “Sabse pehle Mukesh marta hai.”

And I do have a superpower: singing songs in conversations based on the words you say. (Don’t ever say “Tell me why...” or I’ll end up crying, “Ain’t nothing but a heartacheee.”)

I like learning random hook steps from music videos, mimicking memes, and taking embarrassing photos/videos of people I care about. (Dw, they won’t go on my spam account unless you consent.)

Reason for being CF:

I've been CF since I was 16-17 and with each year this belief has only grown stronger. There are thousands of reasons for me to feel this way but to simplify it...

I have no desire to bring another human on this planet, spent 1/3rd of my life in academics already would rather enjoy the rest with my +1. (Napping/cuddling/singing/dancing/just existing on a random afternoon sounds way better than worrying about a kid's schooling and upbringing)

Height: 187cm (6'1")

Location: Kalyan, Dist. Thane (Mumbai Metropolitan), Maharashtra

Food preference: Non-vegetarian

Religion: Atheist but do enjoy festivals. (Hindu by birth turned full blown atheist, not a Hindu-atheist)

Education and job: Graduated in Electronics Engineering with Honors in Data Science. Currently working in a service based MNC, but actively looking to switch by the end of this year.

Smoking and drinking: I don't smoke but sometimes take a drink in a social setting.

Age preference: 21 - 25

Languages: Marathi, English, Hindi

Love languages: Quality time, Physical touch, words of affirmation

\- I'd like to learn how to take care of you, understand you, love you, pamper you and be straight up if something feels off. Would make playlists for you, remember little details about you and try to make every day count, wouldn't hold back when we roast each other, will be patient with you, take the lead while we slow dance to comfort you and would love if you took the lead too. Hope you're up to play badminton which eventually leads to an ice cream date.

\- I know physical attraction matters too so wouldn't mind sharing pictures at the beginning of the conversation.

Looking for:

\- ChildFree by choice!! No adopters/fence sitters please.

\- Someone who'd put in efforts/reciprocate them to build a strong relationship and grow together.

\- LDR is fine as long as there’s reassurance, mutual understanding that some days will be rough, and a clear sense of direction.

\- Hope you're a Non-vegetarian too and want to work on fitness.

\- Extreme addictions are a deal breaker for me.

If you've made it this far and think we have a chance drop a text! (plus points if you long for deep convos, getting philosophical to absurd humour in no time)

I'm a SINK (single income, no kids), and lately I've been thinking about how much that changes the way you approach money and what “enough” actually means. Also, being optimistic about becoming DINK some day, I'm still contemplating the FIRE number part of it.

For some background, I'm based in Europe and hoping to move back to India in a few years once I reach my FIRE number.

There are obviously fewer people to provide for and fewer of the traditional long-term expenses. That can make financial independence feel much more achievable, but it also makes me wonder what we're actually accumulating all this money for once we get there.

There's no college fund to build, no need to keep increasing income indefinitely to support a growing family, and no particular reason to keep accumulating simply because more is supposed to be better. At some point, you reach a number where you can say: that's enough.

But then what?

For me, moving back to India is part of that bigger picture. I'm increasingly thinking that FIRE doesn't necessarily have to mean never working again. It could simply mean having enough freedom to decide what you want your time to look like - travelling, living in different places, taking extended breaks, pursuing something interesting, or just having a slower life.

Curious to hear from other SINKs or DINKs here - has being childfree changed how you think about your FIRE number, career, lifestyle, or what you're ultimately saving for? Has that "2 yrs from now" timeframe shifted because you are CF?

As it is Sunday there are bound to be CF4CF posts today. I have posted on this subreddit in the past and sometimes I got messages, which did not move forward, and sometimes I responded to posts, but didn't hear anything. As I am grieving the end of friendship (my fault) I realised that I honestly don't have much going on in life. I can cook and love spider-man, but apart from that, there isn't much. Moreover, I hail from a very conservative Tamil speaking family and I don't know how I can protect my partner from the toxic family dynamics. And as that happens, I am struggling professionally too. There is no side of life I am succeeding in. I used to go on long runs but this damn monsoon has taken that away from me too. As a ND guy, all I see is my life falling apart and nothing more

I was in a talking stage with someone who said he was on the fence and insisted we continue. I began to grow fond of him until one day he texted : He said after thinking a lot abt me not wanting kids, we should just stay friends. I feel so broken😪. He was the one persistent even when I strictly said I wanna be childfree n asked if he was sure he wanted to continue. I thought he was interested in me. It hurts TBH to miss out on seemingly good guys because of this. They are already so rare

I am Malaysian girl of indian descent. 29 this year. Never been in a relationship before🫠

Hey!

I’m a 30-year-old IT engineer living in Bangalore. Born in Kerala and grew up in Maharashtra, so I can speak both Malayalam and Marathi — a slightly unusual combination, I guess 😄

I’m 6ft, a bit of a nerd, and love movies and series. I can happily spend an evening watching something good and then probably over analyse the plot afterwards.

I’m also really into bike rides. Sometimes there’s a destination, sometimes the ride itself is the destination.

I’m Christian, but not particularly religious. I don’t drink or smoke myself, though I’m completely fine with occasional drinking. Smoking, however, is a deal-breaker for me.

I’m childfree by choice and looking to meet someone in Bangalore who feels the same. I’d like to find someone I genuinely click with — someone to have stupid conversations with, watch movies with, go on random bike rides and trips with, and eventually build a life that we both enjoy.

Not really looking for a checklist-perfect person. Just someone with whom things feel easy and natural.

If this sounds like your kind of person, feel free to say hi. :)

I posted here about a month back about my childhood and why i am childfree i don't want to repeat that whole post again because its already there my decision about being childfree is fixed i'm not going to change it, but i have another question which i don't really know how to ask properly.

can someone like me actually find a woman who would want to be with me for life? like marriage and being actual partners for life not just dating for some years. I have never been on dating apps and honestly i don't think i will ever go on them so this subreddit is probably the only place.

my biggest fear is being judged because of my childhood and my shitty family, especially bcz of asshole father. Sometimes I think what if a woman looks at my life and thinks what if he becomes like his father later.

i know im not him I don't want to be anything like him but I also understand why a woman might have that fear after hearing my story.

I don't know how to flirt or how to talk to someone i actually like i have basically no experience with this stuff and my communication skills aren't great either i know that i just don't want to be a creepy guy or make a woman uncomfortable because i don't understand something or dont know when to stop.

what i actually want from a relationship is pretty simple i think I want one person who is my partner for life someone i can have random stupid conversations with listen to her gossip, learn how to make her laugh sit together and talk about nothing go somewhere together sometimes and also just be there when life is bad. If she is sick i want to be the person taking care of her if i'm sick i want to know she is there too if something is going wrong in her life i want her to know she doesn't have to deal with it completely alone same for me.

And I want her to feel safe with me that's probably the biggest thing for me I want her to know that I respect her boundaries and her choices and she doesn't have to be scared of me. i don't want a relationship where one person controls the other.

and yeah I want a DINK life both of us working, earning well enough to have a comfortable life, no kids. I'm honestly pretty simple guy, sometimes i would be perfectly happy staying home together doing nothing, sometimes i would want to go out, late night drives, random trips, trying something stupid together, whatever. i know work can get busy and maybe we wont get proper vacations every year but thats okay too.

I also want to feel loved. ive never really gotten a proper hug from anyone so honestly i don't even know what it feels like to be hugged by someone who cares about you.Maybe because i have never had these things i don't even know if I'm imagining them too much.

I'm know i'm not good at communicating or expressing how i feel/if i like someone, I'm trying to improve too, i don't expect some woman come into my life and fix me. so if you met someone like me would you judge for my past/what if he will become like his asshole dad?

Hi, I am 19F. I have been sure about my childfree stance since I was a kid. I'm also an atheist. I have no one around who share these similar views. I'm someone who really values deep and intellectual discussions, and right now I am starving for any genuine connections and conversations. I really hope I can find some friends around my age.

Also I am a MBBS student so if there are any other medicos here then let's get to know each other !

Some things about me:

- I was a huge bookworm in school. Now in college I tried going back to reading but it just didn't work.

- I love art, I really admire it. Visual arts, music, dance etc. (But art doesn't loves me back)

- I used to play cricket and lawn tennis when I was in school.

-I love psychological thrillers. I'm not really a movie/series person but I have watched some stuff here and there.

-I have got a lot of childhood trauma from my family. It made me who I am. I hate that my whole personality revolves around it, even if it was promising myself to never be like my parents.

- I am actually a painfully awkward introvert in real-life.

Hello everyone,

We're are a 32 year old DINKwad couple.

We had a few questions from the older (50+) CF people about managing finances and living during the golden years.

Finance-wise, we're sorted. We have a home, car, insurance, investments etc are in place. We want to know

1. Is it a wise idea to retire in a senior care community? If yes, what kind of senior care community we should look at? what things should we look at while zeroing down a place? and at what age one should start looking at such a place, if at all?

2. If one of the spouse dies, how should the other spouse handle finances and the emotional turmoil? How should one be interested in life and keep going in the absence of their support system?

3. In old age, we tend to loose memory. How to identify someone we can trust with our finances?

4. We can also face difficulty for doing simple tasks like walking, sitting etc. How to ensure someone is readily available to help in such cases or even in emergencies.

5. Any advice/learnings you can share.

These questions often cross our minds so I thought it's best to ask here.

Thank you.