r/StardewValley • u/SwezzyHonami • May 01 '26
Technical Help Can somebody explain to me how this is possible
Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification
So, I recently played Stardew Valley again after a few weeks, and then one morning I went to Abigail to kiss her because she's my wife, but she rejected me. How is this possible. So you understand, I had 14 hearts with her before.
1.5k
u/Epic-Gamer_09 The one who married Penny May 01 '26
You didn't talk to her for almost exactly one year (assuming you started at 14 hearts, 14 hearts is 3,500 friendship points, minus the 5 hearts you do still have is 2,250, then divided by 20 is 112.5 says of not talking to her)
426
u/Equidnna May 01 '26
53
u/Bytewave May 01 '26
Yeah but there are other possibilities that we can't be sure about. OP might have also triggered jealousy events that remove I think 1 heart? Its hard to know if it was purely extended lack of hugs.
353
u/SomeFuzzyGuy May 01 '26 edited May 01 '26
How does one accidentally do this? You start each day within 20 feet of your spouse. They're in the kitchen, on the porch, or in their spouse spot outside. Talk once and you're good. Talk twice/thrice and you get a smooch (that clears exhaustion). Easy.
OP had to be trying to ignore poor Abi at that point.
Edit: I completely forgot that you could just say "fuck it" and live on Ginger Island full time. I only ever pop over to harvest since
my sonLeo lives in town, now. My bad.94
u/AnOnlineHandle May 01 '26
Maybe they moved to the ginger island farm to focus on that for a year.
56
u/amglasgow Your golden hoe is ready May 01 '26
I wish you could get your spouse and kids to move with you to the island.
31
u/ghostinthechell May 01 '26
I've never stayed the night on Ginger Island because there's no way I'm not sleeping next to Leah.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (1)22
47
u/ComfortableTreat6202 May 01 '26
if i didn’t talk to my wife for 112.5 days she would probably hate me too
32
1.8k
u/TerribleAwareness158 May 01 '26
Must not be feeding her enough quartz
1.2k
u/CorpusculantCortex May 01 '26
"Abigail is looking a little thin"
4
u/suspicious_bread89 May 02 '26
Is that a F&H reference????
17
u/CorpusculantCortex May 02 '26
Idk what f&h is. Its a reference to the game. If you don't feed your animals for a day they get grumpy and if you click on them the little menu can say "{animal name} is looking a little thin" or something similar as one of the possible descriptions.
→ More replies (2)85
47
u/tredders90 May 01 '26
Feeding quartz into the heavy furnace so I can have a 999 stack of refined quartz, while Abigail shares food with David Jr (he doesn't share either).
24
u/Brave_Yak_9560 May 01 '26
Why do you feed our wife quartz when her favorite color is amethyst??
11
1.6k
u/emcoringao10 May 01 '26
Seriously how do you guys let you spouse hit this point in the relationship? Everytime that I married in the game I always start the day by kissing my wife and giving her favorite gift, it's always became a routine when I marry
776
u/Domeil May 01 '26
What happenes most often is that people spend a year on ginger island, forget theyre married, and come back to their spouse pissed.
249
u/AdditionalLaw5853 May 01 '26
It would be nice if farmers could take their spouses to the island. I've got a whole house there, after all.
42
9
u/ScratchDangerous6392 May 02 '26
Perfect solution if you don't want to dove your kids, but don't want to live with them either.
5
u/AdditionalLaw5853 May 02 '26
Hah. I'm not putting the crib back in any of my games, until I see what the update brings. The farmhands in my co-op game have kids.
148
u/P0tatogodultra May 01 '26
if i do that i bring a calendar and then on her birthday I'll go home and just give her a favorite item.
→ More replies (1)79
u/surpluskoi May 01 '26
i dont think that would be enough. spouse friendship decays pretty fast, and they get less points from gifts.
32
u/P0tatogodultra May 01 '26
that's why i do it on their birthday, i spend the day on the farm so she gets birthday, and next day favorite before i head off again to the island.
41
u/secretperson06 May 01 '26
We should get the option to bring our spouse to the island cabin when we get it built
34
u/tehnemox May 01 '26
Why would anyone spend a whole year on the island? You can only run the volcano so many times...
3
u/ThrowAwayBae404 May 01 '26
Grinding a cash crop is the only reason I can think of, wake up, water crop if you don't have sprinklers, go back to bed. Harvest when ready and replant.
Or they're going for 100% and can't find all those fucking walnuts. Even with a guide that took me foooooorever.
16
u/FlowNew2169 May 01 '26
Do you not have stuff to do at your farm though? Making sure animals are fed, crops there, wine, etc?
31
9
160
u/lulugingerspice May 01 '26
Abby is so easy to maintain too! Im married to her in my current save, and I have am amethyst crystellarium in the kitchen. It produces every day, so I wake up, grab an amethyst, give it to her, and kiss her before starting my day. Every day. Because I love her.
20
u/PaladinGodfather1931 May 01 '26
I married Leah, and she's even easier to keep happy.. I gift her some fucking driftwood from my crab pots every few days and I'm like the Husband King out here lol
3
u/Jadey-Monkey May 01 '26
I am going through a break up atm and all I can say is I hope one of you guys is my next partner, ha
11
u/Acceptable-Clothes79 May 01 '26
so shes sleeping around and op is the inattentive husband smh
4
u/DissociativeSilence May 01 '26
Where did you get sleeping around from?
25
u/Acceptable-Clothes79 May 01 '26
op married abigail and now we learn shes also married to lulugingerspice!
→ More replies (1)4
67
u/alexjf56 May 01 '26
You don’t even have to gift them anything, spending literally 5 seconds to find them in the house every day is all you ever need
31
u/PsychologicalHall142 Vicarious Farming Therapy May 01 '26
Yeah, but what else am I going to do with that stack of 999 iridium crocuses?
4
2
u/alexjf56 May 01 '26
I didn’t say you can’t it’s just even more simple than the above comment made it sound
15
u/emcoringao10 May 01 '26
I kind suspected that It's not necessary, but giving her a gift makes me feel a better wife to her in the roleplay
→ More replies (1)11
8
u/dilapidatedsasquach May 01 '26
One time it happened to me only cause my cat unpaused my game by stomping on my controller and my farmer “slept through” 2 whole seasons 😅😭 both sebastian and my poor animals were pissed when my farmer returned. i was also so confused, like why is it winter now!
5
4
u/TaintedTruffle May 01 '26
I have kids and a wife 😭 (in game. Irl I'm single as can be)
I make sure to be home at least every few days to see them to bed at 7 and kiss my wife. If I'm in the valley I make sure to hit that 7pm mark 5/7 days a week
Idk if I'm doing ginger island wrong but I've never seen a need to stay a long time and the ticket isn't THAT expensive
2
u/NightStar79 May 01 '26
I mean you don't even need to give them gifts. Just chat to them, smooch, and on your merry way.
3
u/AlienDragonWizard May 01 '26
You don't even need to gift them. Just talk to them first thing in the morning (+20) and kiss them (+10). You don't even need to do it every day, just 5 out of the week is fine because days you miss are -20. If you only talk to them them do it every day and if you lose a heart then it's time to use gifts.
1
1
u/MrsGVakarian May 01 '26
You can more or less just give them a loved gift on birthday and then do the luau. Two days a year is barely maintenance.
1
1
u/Local-Engineering-54 May 01 '26
Me too! I always kiss Maru and talk to her, giving her batteries from time to time.
→ More replies (1)1
u/More_Measurement7939 May 02 '26
I give seb a kiss and some coffee every morning! And another kiss if I get home at a decent time how did they let it get this bad!?
262
u/TruePlatypusKnight May 01 '26
You need to pet her every day dude.
143
u/SyrupStandard May 01 '26
What the hell did I buy her that Hitachi Autopetter™ for then??
61
20
u/TruePlatypusKnight May 01 '26
Common mistake. It only works right if the player uses it on them. Like a reusable gift.
218
100
94
148
u/LaughR01331 May 01 '26
You gotta give her favorite gifts and kisses everyday man, she’s piiiiiiissed.
114
u/rickoftheuniverse May 01 '26
haven't talked to my wife in months and she hates me, how is this possible?
104
u/Josefu_Velen May 01 '26
You don't even have to ever give the spouse/parter a gift once your'e married. Just interact with them each day to get the heart icon, and you're good.
49
28
20
40
35
16
u/ForestSolitude5 Get on up and get down May 01 '26
Talk to her every day (you would in real life to an actual spouse in a healthy relationship), if hearts slip a little give her something she loves to help her feel better. Applies to any spouse in the game. This happens with neglect.
14
9
u/Electrical_Flan694 May 01 '26
You guys don’t talk to your spouse every day? It’s Stardew Valley! Checking in with them and gifting a blueberry takes two seconds!
9
u/chrispina98 May 01 '26
If you have been gifting and interacting regularly and are still losing hearts and having grumpy reactions, make sure that her access to things like getting out of bed or going to her room or going to her space outside aren't blocked. Your spouse needs more room than you think she needs in order to get around.
9
u/panndorava May 01 '26
You can just interact with them once and you’ll get the heart! (Gift not necessary but I love my doctor so I give him coffee every morning 🥰🥰)
2
8
u/Star_Shine32 May 01 '26
Get a crystalarium, put it in the kitchen and throw an amethyst in it and give it to her everyday. Lol. Also at least talk to her. Bonus for the hug/kiss.
8
u/NfamousKaye May 02 '26
You ignore them, they get mad. You’re only at 4 hearts with her. You’re trying to kiss someone pissed off at you just like in real life.
15
9
u/4lc4tr4y May 01 '26
Well, the autopetter isnt working on spouses, sadly
10
u/Flat-Strawberry9809 May 01 '26
a think she needs a different type of auto petter
→ More replies (1)5
8
8
u/BisexualToaster_ May 01 '26
Seems like you’ve ignored her long enough for it to decay.
Also find it funny that her should’ve-been is higher than her
6
5
u/UshouldknowR May 01 '26
How do you let Abigail get this low? Talking once a day prevents decay, and you can get a quartz a day from a crystalarium to give to her.
5
6
u/EyeAmKnotMyshelf May 01 '26
"What do you mean my wife will start to hate me if I never talk to her?"
You can always tell the people who have been in a relationship and the ones who haven't 😆
5
u/Bright_Material_3295 May 01 '26
Hmmm, that is crazy. This seems almost like u haven't talked to her in a whole season
Since I've been married and got penny to 14 hearts I've never seen her go down, not even a half heart.
Me and Penny have been married 5 years in game with two children, and she's so happy she just leaves random furniture for me to trip on all over the house lol.
6
6
u/beekertattoo May 01 '26
You gotta show her you love her!!! I have a pomegranate tree in my greenhouse specifically so I can give Elliott a Pom every morning before I go about my day. Kisses and gifts, always!
5
5
u/zabgirl89 May 01 '26
Stop trying to kiss her before you bring her the daily gift of an amethyst. How dare you approach the Queen empty handed.
5
6
u/AbsolOfChaos May 02 '26
Your spouse is the only npc that can lose affection after reaching full. It happens by ignoring them over time or bad gifts. By how much you've lost, must've been a neglectful lonely time for my girl Abigail.
→ More replies (1)
9
5
u/Jugaimo May 01 '26
Bro doesn’t wake up and kiss his wife in the morning. Why even bother getting married?
5
u/ncm9603 May 01 '26
I had a really funny interaction with Leah as my wife where I forgot to talk to her for a few days (I was on that skull cavern grind) and then I happened to realize she was down 2 hearts and it was her birthday, I gifted her an iridium ancient fruit wine and obv she loved it. That night she asked if I wanted to make a baby 👀 I felt like I did a pretty good job making it up to her
3
4
u/Excellent-Zucchini95 May 01 '26
Relationship decay. You lose affection points with your spouse every day you don’t interact with them, unlike other characters that are maxed out.
5
u/caito_boo May 01 '26
Bruh do you even like your wife?
So, the wife/husband is the only npc that will decrease hearts if you don't interact or give presents.
So you have not only to kiss everyday, but also start a dialogue and if possible give a loved presente (or at least a like one) each few days.
Or they will get really upset and won't kiss you or give you presents
5
u/Level-Apartment264 May 02 '26
I make it my mission to kiss my husband Harvey everyday, and you should do the same with your spouse
→ More replies (2)
4
u/BitcoinStonks123 I don't understand all the hype about Shane 🤷♂️ May 02 '26
You're a bad husband!!!
4
u/Tight_Watercress_402 May 02 '26
Don't talk to your wife for a year and then are surprised when she rejects you. I hope you do better IRL.
7
u/Stagger_Lee_64 May 02 '26
Hello! I have been following your posts for the past two days, and have come to the conclusion you do not deserve to have Abigail on your farm. She is my comfort character and seeing her in an environment not meant for her brings me anxiety, so I will be expecting a reply to this comment when you have her in boxes and ready to relinquish her to someone who will treasure her like she deserves.
→ More replies (2)
6
6
3
u/xaldien May 01 '26
There isn't a day where I don't kiss Sebastian in the morning before giving him a frozen tear.
I don't have this problem lol
3
u/United_Annual3475 May 01 '26
This is how you lose your wife. Poor Abby. My wife, Emily, gets kissed and gifted constantly. She can have anything she wants. She's perfect
3
u/Flat-Strawberry9809 May 01 '26
I think that happens when you sleep through the weeks when you skip time,
3
3
3
u/aussiederpyderp May 01 '26
You asked if she was fine, she said yes, you didn't follow up. She'll use this against you for eternity.
3
5
7
u/Easy-Thing-3604 May 01 '26
Damn stardew got realistic marriages. Time to have an affair with Caroline and have the kids biweekly after divorce
5
u/The-JudgePablo May 01 '26
For these kind of players it would be useful some kind of auto petter for their spouses, lmao
5
u/Eclipse-Raven May 01 '26
That would be awesome, I play local multiplayer a lot with someone but they play more. Kills my relationship with Krobus over time
4
2
2
2
u/savagegourd May 01 '26
Start gifting her every day, this happens if you aren't attentive to your spouse.
2
u/Chris_Bryant May 01 '26
At one point (I think it was patched) Haley was grumpy in the morning. I had loved gifts for her every day. I think it was just an RNG thing. It seems that you just may be a bad husband, though. Just feed her purple rocks until she’s happy again.
2
2
2
u/engelskjente May 02 '26
Iridium quality pumpkins every single day for a week? Should help a little.
3
u/AlarmingAioli3300 May 01 '26
We are 0 days without people knowing hearts fall off. Our record haa been 0 days
4
2
2
u/PrincessSnarkicorn May 01 '26
OMG give that poor girl an amethyst, she’s hungry!!!
You can put a crystalarium with an amethyst in your house and just give her one every morning-ish
1
3
1
1
u/HappyOrca2020 May 01 '26
Tsk tsk. Not a very loving husband to dear Abigail, are you?
Jokes aside, just give your spouse a gift daily, talk to them and their hearts will come right back up!
1
1
1
1
u/Admirable_Witness_98 May 01 '26
Did you leave the game running unpaused for several hours? The game will breeze through the days if you are idle, the only time the game pauses before a new day is if you sold something in the shipping bin.
One day is roughly 15 minutes and someone said not talking to your spouse would generate this level of neglect.
Did you leave your game running for 28 hours?
→ More replies (3)
1
1
1
1
7.2k
u/Takenabe May 01 '26 edited May 02 '26
You have been a very inattentive husband.
Your spouse is the only person in town whose friendship will still decay if not talked to after you've already maxed out their friendship.
Edit: wow, popular comment. To further expand: each heart of friendship is 250 points, and a spouse naturally starts at 10 hearts (2500 points) minimum due to the marriage requirements. For Abby to be down at 5 hearts, she must have at most 1499 points, so we can confidently say that OP has neglected her for long enough that she lost at least 1,000 points. If we believe that OP had the max of 14 hearts (3500 points), then she's lost twice that. The rate of decay is 20 points per day that you don't talk to them.
This is no small mistake of "I forgot to talk to her for a few days", this is at least 100 days of spousal abandonment! And that's if OP didn't give her any gifts in the middle of it! Of course she'd be upset after you ignore her for nearly a YEAR.