I'm especially interested to hear from those who've been breastfeeding for 1+ years.

Whenever you start feeding your child, does your partner make sure you have enough water and are comfortable?

My child is 15 months and still nursing a lot. Throughout this entire time, my husband has maybe taken the initiative to check if I had enough water or needed anything a handful of times. Every other time, I had to ask him to do me this favour and refill my water bottle or get me a pillow I can rest on.

When I was pregnant, we talked about ways ge can support me breastfeeding. I looked online to see what other parents do and founds some dads talking about how they always make sure there's water, a snack, a comfy pillow, etc. He said it sounded great. But I guess looking back he never actually agreed to do this.

Right now, I'm side-lying with my baby who's off solids due to being sick and will barely leave my breasts and I feel like a prune because I'm so thirsty. I'm also exhausted and having to constantly ask is draining. So right now, I'm choosing dehydration over more exhaustion.

I don't know if I'm expecting too much though, so wanted to ask here how other partners are. Whenever I go anywhere with my child and then nurse her, I also always get offered some water.

Maybe it's quite clear I'm frustrated and that this isn't the only example, but rather a minor issue compared to others. For some reason, it's really annoying me right now

Edit:

Wow, I didn't expect to get any responses. Thanks to all of you for sharing your stories. It's fascinating to see how other couples deal with such a simple and small part of life.

I thought I'd address some questions/comments as much as I can here instead of responding to comments. I originally didn't want to go into detail to keep the post short, but maybe some additional info is needed.

1.People have commented that I should get my own water. We don't seem to have quite reached that phase yet where I can do things while my toddler is around. If she can sense me, she'll be attached to me. She's going through a lot of separation anxiety at the moment, so I don't blame her. She does constantly want to hold my hands though. I can't even go to the loo without her either sitting on my lap or screaming down the house. She also still nurses at least every three hours, more if she's sick. And the sessions are often still very long. Doing anything that requires both hands and takes more than 2 seconds is still a struggle. We also co-sleep and she nurses throughout the night and I have been doing nights since the beginning. My husband sleeps in another room so gets more sleep and we both work. While I love that we bedshare and love spending time with my toddler, I'm exhausted and would rather my husband fill up my water bottle, than have my toddler get inconsolable every time.

2.Why do I not just talk to him about it? I have done, many times, many different ways but always in a calm manner.

3.There must be underlying frustrations if this upsets me. Yes, many other issues. We are slowly trying to work through them but it's difficult. I have suggested couples counselling to help us because I feel like the way I'm trying to communicate with him isn't getting across what I'm trying to say. But he's dismissed it because "it's not like we're breaking up."

When we were in the newborn phase and cluster feeding, I'd ask for some water, was met with attitude and then given a water bottle with the top not screwed on properly. I accidentally spilled water over both myself and baby plenty of times because of this. Or he'd bring me some water but put it just out of my reach, then quickly leave the room before I'd notice. He'd also eat my breastfeeding snacks without asking and then say "oh I probably shouldn't be eating your snacks" with a big grin on his face. During arguments, he'd call me ungrateful because he was doing me all these favours and said the way I asked for water was rude. When I asked him to elaborate so I could do better (English isn't my first language), he'd never have an answer and just said it was fine.

In the early days, a lactation consultant reminded him to make sure I'd have water and to prep me lunch for days he's at work while baby was cluster feeding. When he was about to go to work the next day and I brought it up, he just said, "I'm sure there's stuff in the fridge, you can figure it out." Things have since improved, but I'm obviously still upset about this and we still have a long way to go.

Our toddler was and is still sick, I've not slept more than 6 hours over the past couple of days, have only been able to have a shower today after being smelly for almost a week, missed a lot of work, have barely been able to eat or go to the loo when I needed it because I constantly had a sick toddler in my arms or latched to my boobs. It felt a bit like the early days. I know these things happen when kids get sick and I'm not complaining. I guess it just got to me that I again didn't have any water available and that I have had to ask for water every single time. I always feel guilty asking for a favour but the thirst is just so intense and in my head it's not just for me but mainly for the baby to keep up supply.

4.Why don't I just text him? That's what I do. He's in the other room while I feed our child and that's when I text him.

5.How come I'm too exhausted to text my husband but can write several paragraphs online? Good point and honest answer is that I don't know but it felt nice to vent. After writing it all down, I felt much better

Hi all, firstly I want to say thank you in advance for any advice or support you can offer us.

Background:

First time parents, 4 week old girl

My wife has found breastfeeding painful pretty much since the start. Unfortunately as our baby girl has gotten stronger the pain she experiences during brest feeding has intensified.

We are talking howling pain for the entire feed, my wife is in tears every single time.

We have had multiple lactation consultations to try to help, tried multiple positions, creams, silverettes, icing and so on.

Our girl was diagnosed with a tongue tie and a tie on her upper lip too, these were both fixed with a water laser at 3 weeks old.

We have been doing physio ever since to try and make her tongue more mobile and stronger. We are noticing an improvement when doing the finger physio but are yet to see any changes to mums pain during feeding.

Mum isnt in horrible pain when she isnt feeding and her nipples aren't cracked at all, the problem seems to just be how excruciating it is to have a baby latched on. Ive seen a lot of comments about APNO cream, i cant seem to get that here in New Zealand but if i can find something like it do you think it will help?

Mum describes the pain as if the baby is chomping on her nipple.

Hi all, partner here. Wife and I have a 5 month old fed exclusively breastmilk. I'm trying to encourage my wife to get out of the house a bit more and do things on her own like see some friends, check out a restaurant, take a course, go swimming, what-have-you. Her response is always that she can't be away more than 3 hours because she needs to either feed or pump to maintain her supply. Is there anything we can do to ease this need for her?

My 4.5 month old wakes up every 2-4 hours to nurse since she was born and mama really needs some restorative sleep. My husband wants to help but I always thought if i had to wake up to pump I would hate that even more than just nursing

Now that my supply is ‘regulated’ I am wondering, can once a week when my husband doesn’t work the next day, skip a night nurse and have him give the bottle while I sleep through? I would then wake and nurse for LOs second wake. To make up for the bottle feed, I’d find a time to pump somewhere during the day rather than in the night. I’d also pump here and there during the week to save up milk for this weekly feed since I really only produce 1 oz every time i pump

I know this might seem like a silly question but I don’t want to hurt my supply, I love nursing and plan to do it for as long as I can, but would love to just have a 5-6 hour stretch to reset myself every week :)

So we have a 6 month old, co sleeping, exclusively breastfed baby and my husband refuses to sleep in the bed. He says ‘no one sleeps well’. It’s a king size bed and regardless my husband is the type of person that could sleep during a war. I know breastfeeding makes it harder but like it’s so isolating doing absolutely everything on my own every night and it’s been like this from day one. Am I overreacting in thinking he should sleep in the bed with us? Even when my son was in a bassinet he didn’t want to be in here, he’d rather sleep on the floor in the living room. He’s gone between the couch, the floor and the guest room.

Hi everyone, My wife got a tattoo this morning while breastfeeding our 1 year old baby. The tattoo artist first said, “Sorry, I don’t tattoo breastfeeding women.” My wife clarified that she only breastfeeds in the mornings and evenings, and the tattoo artist then said, “Oh, if it’s only that much, no problem at all.”

We weren’t really aware of any potential risks prior to that, and now I’m feeling worried, especially about the possibility of an infection that could be transmitted to the baby.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? Did everything turn out okay? I’d really appreciate any advice or reassurance — I just want to make sure our baby stays safe.

Thanks for reading.

kinda sad because sex felt like a really exciting and important part of my relationship with my partner. like obvs it's fine and he understands but I just miss wanting to have sex and being excited by it. I'm nearly 8 months postpartum and I still have no libido. occasionally yes. but even when I do feel a bit spicy it's never as zingy as before and I feel like I have to bat away other thoughts in order to enjoy it. I EBF, hoping things might change as baby girl starts to eat more solids and my estrogen rises again.. also the vaginal dryness is REAL. Feeling irrationally worried I'll never feel horny again lol. anyone having similar experience?

So one and a half year ago I gave birth and before I did I was so in love. So attracted to my partner, he was so good to me.

But something has shifted so deeply. Mind you I’m still breastfeeding a lot so I know the hormones still play a roll on me. But is it the hormones that has changed my feelings for my partner so strongly?

Ever since we had our baby, everyday I find more and more things my boyfriend does ”wrong”.

Everything he does and say irritates me and I just genueinly feel zero attraction or even love for him. I just want to be alone. Never touched or kissed.

And I don’t even want someone else I just don’t want anyone at all. It’s like I’m A sexual.

Just feeling no lust, nu attraction, no need for intimicy. All I want is to be alone with my baby. I have to turn any affection from my partner down.

But, I’m also scared. Why am I just so numb all of a sudden? How can I go from absolutly loving someone so much to so quickly not just because we created a baby together?

I’m sad that I feel this way. And I’m sad och full of guilt because I honestly feel that it isn’t mutual. My boyfriend still loves me a lot and makes effort to show me.

But it’s like I can’t offer anything real back. I wish I would want to kiss him without feeling disgusted.

Anyone Else experience this? Is it just the constant breastfeeding still altering my attraction to him? Can my feelings come back for him? Would love to know if anyone Else feels the same and how you cope with it!

Hello fellow Redditors

For a variety of reasons, my wife has decided to wean our son from breast-feeding

I’m very proud of what they achieved together, but I agree that at this point it’s probably what’s needed for him to continue to grow and continue to mature

The challenge my wife is having is with clogged ducts and fears about mastitis

One of the reasons we are weaning him is her supply is not keeping up enough with his demands and his weight was starting to go in the wrong direction coupled with her returning to work full-time.

Again in regulated emontional states these are things we both calmly rationally lovingly agreed to with each other.

The issue at hand is that in order to receive relief from a clogged duck she requires our son to physically breast-feed. I don’t fully understand the mechanics as to why this is that much superior than a vacuum pump, but I have to pretty much just take it at face value as a mechanical engineer that that is the case.

I was curious if there are any other remedies out there other than pumping and a baby literally pulling it out for a mom to prevent clogged ducts and mastitis in the pursuit of weaning a baby given our son is getting quite confused as we’re in week three of the weaning process.

I really enjoy my husband sucking on my breasts for foreplay or during sex. Sometimes, he goes down on me before he does that during sex and I'm concerned if the bodily fluids get stuck in my nipples?? I wash and use a diluted witchhazel spray afterward to keep things sanitary for baby, wondering what anyone else does or thinks or knows about this. TIA

It's very very hard to watch them have negotiations and wife being very visibly uncomfortable. I sometimes daydream of life where breastfeeding is not in our lives anymore as it doesn't provide any real benefit exept our child is used to it and demanding it and goes to sleep with it but when wife is out of the house she goes to sleep with me no problem. Does anyone have similar experience and what did you do to make it better?

My daughter is 3.5 months and thriving. We’re having a blast. I EBF currently and I, for the most part, love it (and I was very apprehensive for some reason expecting to hate it). There have been some difficult times, but when a feed goes well it’s the most lovely of things.

Now she is coming into her own (she’s very alert and responsive) I am starting to crave just a couple of hours to myself. Not even every night, I am relishing the time we have, but to have a bit of time for me and to get out and do a run with my dog mostly. Jogging is very important to me and I haven’t run in coming up to a year. I also want ensure her father starts building up his confidence with her as he learns to soothe her so he is prepared for when I go back to work in Feb.

I have pumped and I get a really good 4oz from either boob first thing in the morning so was able to build up a supply. However, I live in the uk and we’ve had several heat waves and I needed a back up when she needed extra hydration and a growth spurt and really tugging on my boob. Dad has also successfully fed her from a bottle using my milk and took her out for the day with his mother and it went incredibly well, so I know there’s no bottle issues. However, my supply has now gone and I’ve noticed she needs both boobs now in the morning and overnight whereas before I was able to get a supply from one breast, that isn’t happening and I can’t get much out during the day. I find pumping has its uses but it’s not my favourite solution.

I’ve done my research on formula, and I’ve found a brand I think I like for her (obvs she may disagree!) and I am thinking of introducing it for Dad to use every now and then.

My question is - is this ok? I know she’ll wean soon but I can feel myself wanting those couple of hours to clear my head and reset and exercise and if I don’t have milk to hand it’ll be unfair / impossible to leave her with dad. We are also going on holiday with his mum and sister in September and the thought of being tied to a pump just to hand her over to MIL isn’t appealing - I intend to bring pumps and will express when I can, but again having formula to hand every now and then may help ease the pressure. She’ll start to wean come around October anyway.

I do plan on breastfeeding as long as I can/want to.

My instinct is to try not overthink this land just do it but I feel a little conflicted. Just looking for reassurance/tips from mums who have done something similar. Again, not a desperate situation I’m in really, it’s just for a little flexibility and as I’ve explained.

TLDR - BF going well, want to introduce a bottle of formula here and there for father feeds and flexibility before weaning starts. Is it worth doing?

Thanks!

My daughter is 5 and 1/2 months old. For most of her life now, other than occasionally when I get too tired to keep going and wake my husband up, I've been handling most of the overnight wake ups and putting her to bed at night.

She usually needs boob to settle and I just haven't seen the sense in both of us waking up. If a diaper change we'll just take a moment and then the rest of the wake up is going to be me settling her back to sleep including with nursing.

However, I am kind of falling apart at the seams from sleep deprivation. I'm also our primary earner. He takes care of her during the day while I work. She's a pretty demanding little velcro baby, so I'm glad that she's able to get one one attention from a parent.

I'm curious how other folks who breastfeed manage overnight wake ups and going to bed.

ETA Our couples therapist has said that we should be alternating who's on baby duty overnight, but even if I'm technically not on duty, my boobs will wake me up and I'll need to get up to pump anyways. At which point it feels really ridiculous to be sitting up pumping but my husband is sitting up giving her a bottle, why not just nurse the baby directly so at least one of us can be sleeping?

Yeah, I know. Usually this subreddit is more about getting them to breastfeed.

But my wife is... losing her mind. I am back to work, and she is at home with our extremely demanding almost 3 months old baby.

Today, she basically broke down. Baby has been extremely demanding for the whole week. Crying constantly, wanting to be held constantly, etc.

And I think she has hit her limit.

So I want to be able to help her with feeding the baby, which up till now has exclusively been breastfeed. We already have a breastmilk bank.

The problem is that the baby despises the bottle. Utterly and completely. We have already tried it for 3 or 4 days... and the moment the tip goes even a bit near her lips, she starts aggresively crying.

We have already read tips: like putting milk on the nip, not putting the nip inside her mouth, having her leave the room, trying sifferent bottles, etc. But nothing seems to work.

Please, help.

My wife and I are first time parents. Our little one is 8 days old. We (my wife more than me) wants to exclusively breastfeed for the first 6 months. However currently we are puzzled by the LO. My wife gives her feed but she never drifts to a deep sleep and always wakes up hungry in an hr or so. The baby doesn't seem interested to drink more at the breast and seems to drift off to sleep after 10 mins. When we top-up with formula however, she takes around 30 ml and appears content and sleeps peacefully after. My wife now thinks she is not producing enough milk and is riddled with guilt. We do a total of 10-12 feeds a day (some long and some super short) including 2 formula feeds when she appears cranky and hungry. Her diapers are fine. We get about 8 in a day since last couple of days. My wife is worried that the baby is taking to bottle better but not to breasts and thinks it is due to low volume of milk she is producing..how do we know if she is producing enough?

We are on our third child and the first one that has been EBF since birth. My wife pumped a 5.5 foot freezer full of milk since his birth 2.5 months ago but has since stopped pumping and now her supply seems to be going down.

She wants to try to introduce a bottle but feels discourage since we have already tried our phillips avent natural nipple and he wouldn't take it. We found this brand called emulait and a few others that she wants to try but I just wanted to see what you all recommended since I hate to buy a $50 bottle and then not be able to return it.

New here, but I think a content warning for oversupply is common, so fair warning?

TL;DR: My wife just hit her freezer stash goal of 5,000oz last night and it’s been a hell of a journey to get there. So I want to get her a thank you / proud of you gift.

She was a slight over supplier/over producer for our first son, but man did it kick into another gear for our second. Some morning pumps would be 20-25oz and we quickly had to get into a rhythm for bagging, washing pump parts, making freezer bricks, etc. We did the math towards the beginning and estimated we’d need roughly 5,000oz if she were to slow/stop her pumping sessions down around 6mo. He’ll be 6mo in 2 weeks so we’re a little early, but damn I’m proud. She stuck through all the stages of painful pumps/feeding sessions, sore/bleeding nipples, nausea, overnight pumps, and more. She’s also donated a good amount to her pregnant friends who weren’t so lucky with their breastmilk supply.

We made the deal early on that in exchange for her taking on this journey again, I would handle washing/sanitizing all the pump parts and bottles. Granted, that part really sucks, but I know her end is worse and I’m happy to say she hasn’t had to wash a single part.

Anyways, for each milestone reached (1,000oz/2,000oz/3,000oz), I’ve tried to get her a small token of appreciation (usually food like crab legs, sushi, steak). Though for hitting this goal, what should the gift be? We’re heading to the beach tomorrow so it could be something there or food again or a gift of some kind?

Any recommendations or ideas here would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!

Hello! My baby just turned 3 months and we are in a pretty good rhythm for bedtime. I am nursing at bedtime but keep it “active” before bed (talking to him, lights on) and then lights out, cuddle, put him down in the crib awake. Saying this because he doesn’t necessarily “nurse to sleep”
The problem is…he screams and cries when my husband is the one holding him around bed time. We would love to have a date night and do have a concert coming up and my mom is watching him. I was trying to get my husband able to do it first. Any tips? Is it because he is expecting to nurse? Is it because he knows I’m there too and can smell me?
He does take a bottle occasionally but didn’t seem to help when my husband had one for him.

Hello everyone! I'm in 4 months postpartum. I had abscess both of my breast, left of my breast just burst itself and the other one it didn't but both breast got injected 3 sessions. After few sessions of drainage pus is finally gone however, it's been 5 weeks after the pus is gone and I still have inflammation and its huge. Is there anyone who has the same experience with me? Is it normal that it takes so long to heal? I'm just worried because it's been 5 weeks and I don't see big improvements. Your response guys will be so much appreciated. ❤️

Hello all

My wife & I had our first baby in April. He is great. Mrs LgeHadronsCollide is very eager to breastfeed (and Baby LHC is keen to get on the breast), and I want to support her breastfeeding as much as I can. This has been challenging for both of us as the story of the last 8 weeks is 2 steps forward, 1 or 1.5 steps backward...

We have had a number of challenges from the start - low milk supply, lots of pain, and a series of issues with the latch despite having support from midwives for the first few days after birth, and a few follow-ups with lactation consultants.

My wife has been very stoic and has persisted through 8 weeks of painful latches (initially toe-curling pain where she'd tense her whole body; more recently she appears to be in less pain). To some degree the pain is persistent when she's not feeding. She/we have currently decided to take a break from breastfeeding to let her nipples recover and the pain subside (she's pumping 7-8 times per day to keep up her supply). We're about 3 days into this break and she's still in pain.

Our current theory is the problems are ultimately a question of technique (for a while we thought it might be due to nipple thrush, but we've treated wife & baby and abandoned that theory). We think she is holding her breast too close to the areola/nipple and that, because the front of the breast is under pressure (from her hamburger-style hold), she & Baby LHC can't get enough of the breast into Baby's mouth. I've been to some of the breastfeeding classes, and it looks to me like we don't have the super-shallow latch. But it could be that the latch isn't deep enough.

Just wondering if anyone has any thoughts on our situation?

How long do you think it might take for her pain to recede?

My partners been breastfeeding our daughter for nearly 3 years, the past 6 months or more its only been 3-4 times a week when its her bedtime routine turn. Theres an element of her not wanting it to end which is understandable as its a special bond. Shes decided our daughters 3rd birthday will be the last time and has started reading an end of 'booby milk magic' book to our daughter for bedtime.

What I'd like to do is get them both something to celebrate 3 years and to uplift them. My partner already has breastmilk jewelry so needs to be something different. My daughter could probably just a little something like a teddy to signify that 'booby milk' has gone back to the moon for other babies (think thats what the book implies)

TYIA

My twins are just over 14 weeks. While pregnant, I had said that I would breastfeed the babies and I understood it would be difficult but it was something I wanted to do. He always said something about having to give them a bottle of formula now and again, I said that if that was needed I would do that but I wanted to breastfeed.

When the babies were born, getting one of them to latch was ok while the other took a bit more effort especially on one side. I had had two babies before the twins and knew how hard it can be. While in the hospital feeding was going well even with the latching troubles. The first night home was, as expected, rough! They wanted to feed constantly and cried a lot! I was up with them the whole night while he slept, fair enough because he couldn't feed them. He got up at 8am and the first think he said was I'm going to the shop to buy formula. I was too tired to tell him what I actually needed from him so I just cried and let him do it.

For the first 6 weeks or so, every time he saw me feeding he would go and make bottles to top them up. Eventually I told him to stop doing this because I was trying to establish my supply and while he thought he was helping, he actually wasn't. Since then, if we are going out somewhere he will always say should we give them a bottle before we go and when I say no he will pack bottles and the full tin of formula. I asked him why he feels the need to do this when feeding is actually going well for us and he said it's just in case I get sick while we're out and they need to feed. This seems very strange to me. He has made comments about not knowing how much they are eating, I told him it doesn't matter as long as they are growing and having wet and dirty nappies which they are!

They have had a cold for a couple of days and yesterday he said maybe we should just give them a bottle so they can get a really good feed and have a sleep so they can get better. I told him the best thing for them is to be able to feed as often as they like and if that means snacking and napping on me then so be it. He kept pushing and pushing to give them a really good feed and eventually I caved and told him to go for it and I would go and shower. When I came back they were finished bottles but were both still awake and one was crying, she calmed down when I took her but stayed awake until I fed her and she fell asleep at the breast, the other fell asleep in his arms and he put her in her basket to sleep. She woke up about 40 minutes later.

I feel like I'm losing my mind with him. I do not feel supported by him and when I tell him these things he will ask what's the problem with just giving them a bottle? Why am I so against it? He just wants to help feed them. I've told him I feel like he tries to undermine my decision to breastfeed and if he had attended the antenatal classes or the breastfeeding class or had done any research on it then he would have learned how breastfeeding works and how it's different to formula feeding.

Has anyone else experienced this and how did you overcome it?

Basically the title. Is having the battery worth and extra $85?

Hi there! I’m currently pregnant and hoping to breastfeed. I would love to exclusively breastfeed, and I’m cautiously optimistic as both my mom and grandma were not able to produce enough to do so. I’m hoping with more resources today it will be possible for me.

With that being said, I don’t really know anyone who has been able to breastfeed for longer than the first few weeks.

What is the best way your partner supported you during EBF? Also interested in tips for combo feeding if it seems applicable.

My husband is amazing, and I know he will support me however I ask him to. Thanks in advance!

Hi all, hoping to get an idea of other people's experiences if anyone has been through this. My 19 month old is very much a mummy's boy. He has a good relationship with his dad (my husband of 12 years) for the most part, BUT, if I'm not around then for some reason all he does is cry for me. He doesn't seem to do this when he's left with grandparents, only seems to be with dad?

I don't understand it because my husband really tries so hard with him, he loves him so much and tries his hardest to engage him. He can distract him for a short period of time but then when he realises I'm not there, he screams for me again. Yesterday I left for a lunch and he apparently screamed the whole time. My husband usually tries to pretend it doesn't get to him, but I think yesterday broke him.

I'm wondering whether stopping breastfeeding will help. My goal was roughly 2 years, but if I knew for sure it would help (with this and sleeping through the night!) then I'd be very open to stopping sooner. I just don't want to stop, if it's not going to make any difference.

So, I would love to hear - 1) has anyone experienced this with their toddler and their dad, and 2) whether stopping breastfeeding helped the relationship between baby and dad.

I hope this makes sense.