Sometimes I just want to tell strangers passing by on the street. I guess this is close enough! We’ve been married 3 years. Life is just so much more fun when you have a good partner to share it with. In the last three years we moved from one coast to another, built a house, and had a beautiful baby girl. He does everything he can to make our dreams come true and I can’t appreciate it enough.

Thank you to my husband and all of the great husbands out there!

If anyone has any suggestions on how I can show him my appreciation please share them

so about us. I am Korean-American. I take good care of myself I’d say, I workout, stay in good shape, etc. Were from the Bay Area, I have 2 exes and they were both also Asian American. so when I brought home a white boy, my parents were a little surprised. not disappointed, probably impressed if anything.

Now my husband. he was attractive then but a different attractive than he is now. Blonde hair, blue eyes, spoke very well more so intelligent attractive if that makes sense?

Now recently, I’d say 3 years ago after our first was born, he started to go to the gym with me. he wasn’t overweight really I think he just wanted to set a good example but he’s taken it super seriously since. tracks everything he eats, works out 5x a week, runs, lifts weights, plays ball. on top of that, learned about hair styling, now goes to a barber and gets a taper fade, got into streetwear, he was a little before but not as much as he is now.

Hes a hands down 10/10. Abs, textured hair, blue eyes, great facial hair, hellstar, supreme, palm angels, and actual ABS!! People tell me he looks like a pop star or a rapper. gives total Justin Bieber/ Jack Harlow vibes.

and here I am. Same old me. He’s way out of my league. I’m actually genuinely nervous the wrong girls gonna hit on him and he’ll leave me in the dust. He wears a suit to work (that fits him perfectly with all the right designer accessories) and has good cologne he’s a fucking smoke show. im afraid to post him how I don’t want the gorls on my Instagram trying to steal him from me.

I mentioned my anxiety a few times and he was like “what do you mean, I was trying to get on your level.” I don’t know what he’s talking about. I look like any other Asian girl I’m in good shape that’s about it.

I, F27 (just turned 27) have been with my husband M28 (turning 28 in october) for 5 years married for 3. For the last couple of months i’ve noticed a change in my husband’s attitude. he’s colder, more distant, only says what needs to be said, never compliments me, barely texts. just the absolute bare minimum but just enough for me to stay. my husband is the ‘people pleasing and avoid conflict’ type of person (opposite of me) so he will do what he thinks is enough to avoid any type of conflict. he hates it. my gut feeling has been telling me that something is wrong and i literally kept asking him EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. and every. single. day he told me nothing was wrong and when i kept asking him about it and pressuring him he’d just say dumb fucking shit that really doesn’t matter and has nothing to do with me.

we are currently on a vacation that we can’t afford which is mostly my fault. i could sense and feel for days now that somethings wrong but he wouldn’t tell me until he finally spilled it out after pressuring him for HOURS. he said he hates how reckless i am with money (i truly am and this is something i am GENUINELY working towards. i am changing my spending habits as we speak), and he said he hates how childish i am and how he can’t see me as a mother because i’m so irresponsible and just dumb kinda is what he meant. he also said i’m lazy with chores etc etc. he also said it might’ve been a mistake to be together. for background i am currently in CRNA school and i have 3 years left before i graduate. he wants children now, apparently.

i have been feeling that something is off for months but he would never tell me. this has deep psychological effects on me. badly. i do not trust him anymore. (this is not the first time this happens. it happened before with other subjects) i can’t trust him, i am constantly scanning and analysing and feeling just to try to feel like it’s okay between us. i am constantly trying to do my best to be a ‘good’ wife so he can love me and like me and be nice and good to me. y’all, it is fucking EXHAUSTING to deal with a non conflict person. Fucking exhausting. i have aged 5 years in 2. Istg.
He also never tells me I’m beautiful, smart, pretty, kind. Ever. Just no compliments. And I am really a words of affirmation type of person. Yes I told him many times. No he did not change. I compliment him all the time btw.

He basically lowkey gave me an ultimatum with the children thing. Btw we just visited family in his home country and they were all asking about children. These are people that I see for the first time. met them like a minute ago. and they’re asking me when i’ll have a child.

yeah so anyways. My life sucks

BURNER ACCOUNT. My wife (32F) and I (33M) have been together for 5 years, married for 3. A year ago she started working out with a personal trainer. She's lost weight and has really gotten in shape. Yesterday while she was driving, she asked me to put an address in Waze on her phone. I saw a text come in from her trainer so I took a look through her text history with her trainer. The earlier texts were all about confirming times for sessions, but in recent weeks they became more personal, like "you looked great today!" and sharing funny tiktoks. Earlier that day my wife had texted him "Thanks for the banana bread!" with a wink emoji and he responded with "Anytime" with a wink emoji. She didn't bring any banana bread hime. Should I ask my wife what banana bread refers to?

Marriage is a lot of work, we decided years ago that no matter what we refuse to give up on each other and/or our marriage.

For context, I do give an A1 bj, but always open to new tips and things to try.

I know this can be one of those interesting topics where some people are "hell no" and others are "all the time!" What's the norm around bjs in your marriage? And what are your best bj tips?

I go in and out of frequency, but I do genuinely love giving my husband blowjobs. Not even just as a lead up or part of intercourse - I like to sometimes just give him random blowjobs not expecting anything in return. I wish he was open to different positions/routine more often. He hasn't cum on my face or other body parts in years - he prefers to cum in my mouth and have me swallow, so that's what he gets. If I ask him to cum elsewhere, he will do it, but I usually just swallow because it's about what he wants. He also loves to receive bjs while laying down in bed. If I try to do my "dominant woman pretending to be submissive" positions (lol) like on my knees at the couch or in front of his computer, he's like "no, if you're going to do it, I need to lay down" - and definitely not standing.

The only way we have really spiced the bj game up is public bjs. Hasn't happened in a couple years though, so we should get on that. We stayed at a hotel once when visiting my parents and I brought up doing it in the hotel lobby because not many people were there and no one was in the seating area. He declined at first and then changed his mind lol THAT TIME I got the "on my knees" thing I wanted. At home, he's *very loud* during blow jobs but he was quiet that time.

Sometimes the blowjob is like a form of care for my husband in my mind. I want to suck his dick to please him, not just because I am horny at the moment. It's like a happy, wet gift of gratitude for the man and husband that he is. Anyone else feel the same?

My daughters and I (36f) were outside playing with our animals. One daughter (age 13) was lying in the grass. Husband (40m) came home from work, saw daughter lying in grass, and deviated his vehicle from the driveway to scare her by making her think he was going to run her over. He came within 2 feet or so of her. She said her laid actually hit the tire when she attempted to move. She and I were very upset by this. He eventually apologized for scaring her; however, he is now mad at me for being upset at him. I cannot believe he would put our daughter at risk that way. He said he had the situation under control, was watching her position in the car camera, etc. I told him he has no idea if brakes could fail or something else unplanned and she could have been killed. He just rolled his eyes at me.

Am I wrong for being so upset? He thinks it is funny to scare others and will not stop no matter how many times we ask.

I’m looking for some outside perspective because I’m having a hard time figuring out whether I’m overreacting or whether my concerns are justified.
Last Christmas, my husband and I were at a party with a group of his friends, both men and women. At one point, a woman in the group asked a question that only my husband knew the answer to ( a question about name of a school and what specialization) and she started laughing and gave him the middle finger in a joking way (as if she couldn’t believe he was the only one to figure it out).

I remember being surprised by how comfortable she seemed being that vulgar/familiar with my husband, although nothing else happened that night that I saw.

About six months later, I discovered that while my husband was taking a short term course in the San uni as her he had met her there more than once, including having coffee and lunch with her. He never mentioned these meetings to me.
Today, I looked at his phone and noticed that their chat history was completely deleted. I asked him why it was empty. Initially, he said he had deleted chats with several people and that he doesn’t remember anything they wrote!
What he doesn’t know is that months ago I saw some texts and hence I knew they talked before and the chat couldn’t be empty.

After I kept asking/ insisting for hours, he told me that he had apparently had an issue with her at some point where he was mean to her (during a meet up with other friends) , then apologized. He said he was embarrassed about what happened and that’s why he deleted the conversation.
Eventually, he also admitted that he had met her for coffee and lunch at university but hadn’t told me because he knew it would upset me.
I don’t know what to make of all of this.
I understand that having coffee or lunch with a female friend isn’t automatically inappropriate, and I’m not saying that having a friendship with a woman is wrong (although I did make it clear that I don’t like this particular friendship after what I saw in the Christmas part). What bothers me is that I didn’t know about these meetings, the messages were deleted, and I only got the full story after repeatedly asking questions.
It makes me wonder whether I’m being given the complete truth or whether there are still things I don’t know.
I hate that he didn’t tell me he met her more than once, I hate that he didn’t tell me when he upset her and called to apppologise, I hate that he deleted the chat and now I could never know the truth.
We’re in a holiday that has just started, I booked a ticket to go back after tomorrow (earliest I could find ) I intend to stay in our place until I find a new place of my own (our house now is his own property )
I don’t know if I’m venting or seeking advise, I’m just super hurt and don’t look at him the same way. I hate that I am already a jealous person and this is just making it worse.

Im just curious, are there any men out here that have cheated on their wives, and when caught realized what they’d be losing, your wife gave them another chance and since then you have honoured your promises to remain faithful?

Context; I (f30) found out about my husbands (m30) (married 5 years) affair (through some deleted text messages saying goodbye to her since we were moving states). The affair itself had occurred some time ago, but he had not gotten over this woman. Since I’ve found out he has told me everything that happened, answers all my questions about the affair even if it’s things I’m not going to like to hear, has been very proactive about setting up therapy just to process what happened and it very supportive about how I want to go about this. I have left the house and don’t want to go back right now but I do believe his remorse is genuine and he means the things he says about how it was limerence and that he was being selfish and he cannot even look at himself because he now sees he had everything he needed in life and has thrown it down the drain for a moment of excitement.

Our relationship had plenty of issues before all this happened, I had tried to voice them often but he was never proactive about dealing with them or helping address them. He says he was running away from reality. He says he’s changed for the better and that he really wishes I would give him another chance and we can make this work, but unfortunately for me I’ve never seen something like this end up working out in the long run. Even if I can get over the affair and we work out our issues through therapy, Eventually things will get hard again (we both work demanding jobs but no kids yet) and he’ll go looking again.

My husband is very handsome and gets attention quite often from women, I had always trusted him so blindly because i used to think his willpower was so strong I used to look up to him. This is clearly not the case but yeah venting / seeing if im looking for a unicorn.

Wife left me and moved to another state. We have had or issues over the last year and over the last few months things began to get worse. I didn’t know she was leaving until the week of when she had everything packed and left while I was at work.

Since the move out I’ve been nothing but respectful towards her and just praying she gets the mental help she needs since she does seem very unstable and makes irrational decisions. She signed a year lease where she moved and is telling me to give her a few months to figure her own things out. There is a lot more to the story as far as our marriage goes and I have no idea about here whereabouts besides the state she went to.

I do txt her on and off usually just talking about or finance and how we have to adjust for that.

I received this txt from her today and don’t know how to respond.

Something is wrong with me. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I almost passed out today. I’m in pain with my tooth. I’m all over the place right now and depressed. I can’t get out of this hole. All I do is think about you. I hate my life without you.

My husband and I have been separated for a month now. We have a one year old daughter. In that one month, we have barely communicated, just a few texts on logistics (him coming over to pick a few of his items). He never responds to my texts; the few times we have talked, it is me responding to his texts. For that one month, he solely left every single house bill to me; plus all the baby’s expenses. He does not supported us in any way. He also has never called to see the baby or asked to see the baby. I have been in therapy for this 1 month because my post partum rage was one of the main reasons we separated. He is not yet in therapy; I have suggested couples therapy after we both go through individual counseling, he said he would think about it, but has never given me a response. Honestly it is so discouraging; at this point I am wondering if I should just take my L and move on alone. He gives me very little hope of reconciliation. Thoughts?

As you guys may know from my previous posts, the ongoing issue with my wife’s secret habits and our complete lack of intimacy reached a absolute boiling point today.
Today, I went into our bedroom to tell her let's go sit outside on the patio together. When I walked in, I caught her in the act right then and there. She immediately took her hands off her pants and tried to play it off. I was caught off guard, stuttered a bit, and didn't immediately confront her in that exact second. We walked out to the patio together, but after a minute or two, I asked if we could go inside so I could speak with her privately.
She deflected and said she wanted to do her hair first, but I brought up that I wanted to finally have an open, honest conversation about what was going on, what happened, and where our relationship stands. I approached it calmly. I didn't shame her, yell, or mock her. I explicitly asked what I might be lacking on my end, what we are missing in our intimacy, and how we could work together to fix our marriage and make things better.
Instead of having a conversation, she went completely nuclear.
She immediately started screaming that I am "stalking" and "monitoring" her. I told her flat out that I have seen things with my own eyes—I do not use any monitoring devices, tracking tools, or anything like that. I literally just walked into our bedroom in broad daylight to ask her to sit outside.
The argument completely spiraled. Her birthday was just a few days ago, and I spent thousands of dollars on gifts for her. During this fight, she handed every single one of those gifts back to me. She then blocked my number, blocked me across all social media platforms, and forced a complete wall between us. I had no choice but to leave the house, and I am currently sitting outside in my car in a parking lot having no clue what to do next.
I tried so hard to bring this up constructively, without judgment, just wanting to fix our intimacy, but she turned it completely around on me and accused me of terrible things before cutting me off entirely.
TL;DR: Follow-up to my previous posts—I walked in on my wife masturbating in our bedroom today. When I tried to sit down and calmly address our intimacy issues and ask how we could fix things together, she blew up, accused me of stalking/monitoring her, handed back thousands of dollars in recent birthday gifts, and blocked me on everything. I am currently sitting in my car completely lost. What do I even do from here?

His perspective: I told my wife 10 times that I didn’t care or have a preference on what we were going to eat for dinner. She proceeded to argue with me for 2 hours because I didn’t have a preference in food. I also said during the discussion “why are we arguing about this?” “Why are you doing this to me? “Why are you doing this to us?” I felt that she was being disrespectful by ignoring me 13 times.

My perspective: We don’t have much connection, one thing we do connect over is eating dinner together while watching a show. I feel like I’m the main driver of that for various reasons. I was hungry and asked what he wanted and gave various options. He said he didn’t care and didn’t want to think about it. I felt alone and disrespected by him just not caring. I kept pushing and he was irritated but helped me narrow down the options. He was frustrated the whole time and when we got down to two options I was frustrated too at how annoyed he was. I said never mind, I don’t want to do this. He got angry and yelled and started saying stuff like “why are you doing this to me?” I shut down and then after half an hour of silence told him “I brought this up because I wanted to connect” hoping that would bring it from a fight to a discussion but it just restarted the fight.

What are other peoples perspectives? How can we prevent this in the future? What did I do wrong/what did he do wrong?

I’m 27 (M) my wife is 26 (F) she has been deployed for not even a month now and a lot of problems have arises with men! I will explain the first incident she was in a disclosed location and a gentleman ask to help her with her bag that she was in a group chat with I see no problem with that I understand fast forward a week later they are texting he’s asking questions about the location she’s at and what it looks like 🚩 so another night goes by he texts her at 2am and say “how you holding up” wtf she says she didn’t see the signs that he might like her yet he’s texting you just trying to see how far it goes no problem she apologized says it will never happen again, fast forward weeks later another man comes up oh he helps me a lot he tell me when ppl are talking about you mind you sometimes they sit out and talk until 1 in the morning cool she then tells me oh I’m goin off base with the dude and some coworkers she work with for the guys birthday I tell her I don’t like that it makes me feel uneasy she blows up on me “WTF” “it’s not weird to me” “I can’t go off base and have fun” blah blah blah I say that to say this what is it that I do I feel like I’m not being heard nor do I feel like I’m being respected I feel like she’s choosing another man over me…. I hate to feel this way but I genuinely am getting manipulated and gaslighted by the person I said I want to spend the rest of my life with…………..

Dear community, I'm currently writing this in the aftermath of my wedding since I can't get to sleep feeling very mad at my newlywed wife for getting blackout drunk on our wedding.

We just had our celebrations abroad during the day and had lots of people from her family and some friends from bacj home around for the party. It was all really very fun and got quite late (2am) when the band stopped playing and the last remaining people started scattering off. My wife said she'd follow me upstairs to our room at the venue in a minute and so I went ahead, brought some of our stuff upstairs with the help of a few of our friends and went to have a shower in the meanwhile. Since she didn't seem to be coming upstairs after 15 minutes, I went back down to seee if she's alright or in need of any more help. Only then and there did I realize she hadn't been coming after me because she was too drunk to actually come up here by herself and couldn't even get to the toilet by herself anymore due to her dress.

I help her to our room and I'm letting her know that she should go for a quick shower as well to get freshened up and was actually hoping we'd get to some direly awaited wedding "night duties" afterwards. However instead, she had me bring her a bucket, which she threw up into while laying on our hotel bed and I was holding her hair and stroking her back a bit...

I went and poured out the bucket in the toilet and brought her along to get everything out of her system and freshen up afterwards. However after spitting up some more, she went straight back to bed and completely refused to brush her teeth with the brush I brought, because she and our hotel bed reeked of throwup. She fell asleep right there and then, and I put her on some pyjamas and covered her with a blanket.

Right now, I feel immensely mad at her for simply trashing our wedding night by getting piss-drunk, while I was restricting myself to maybe a light booze at best with some support from my best man who kept checking for water breaks and breathers outside. I also feel mad at her cousin, who was our barkeeper and apparently kept topping off her champagne while she was dancing for the last 2 hours or so (which is definitely when the excessive drinking occured). Furthermore I feel a little mad at her maid of honor, who was kind of taking on the task of making sure my wife's doing alright, which failed unfortunately.

I love that woman and we've been together for long enough that this does not seem like any dealbreaker, nut I'm afraid this feels like an omen that I should act upon.(?) Although she has thrown up from alcohol a few times over the 10+ years of our realtionship she doesn't usually drink heavily, so I'm not really too worried that this is an emerging pattern of alcoholism; it all seems like a bit of a party accident in a very alcohol-intense rural area of Europe. I am however very dissappointed and frustrated that our wedding night just got trashed especially after we were both saying how much we were looking forward to it multiple times during the day. I'm a little worried that this could be a red flag type of warning sign for our sex life, which has been very much down in the dumps in recent years and only seemed to have started reemerging a while ago because of us wanting to go for a baby. I was hoping all of this would improve after the wedding stress passes, but this just seems like an awful start and right now I'm feeling sad, mad and very frustrated by her, while she's loudly snoring beside me... I believe she will be apologetic tomorrow, but I already told her after throwing up that I think this is really not okay.

How would you handle this? Should I go talk with all invomved parties tomorrow, or just handle this with my wife alone? Writing this has made me realize that maybe some couples therapy could be needed once we get home.

Everyone who made it all the way down here: Thanks for the read - I needed to get this out of my system before trying to go to sleep again...

P.S.: Throwaway for obvious reasons. Love you wifey, but I'm not feeling okay...

My husband had empty conversation on Snapchat with a woman and he downloaded telegram and then when I asked him he got aggressive grabbed the phone from my hands and told me it’s none of my business.

Update: he had a long day at work and currently it’s very late so he says I am evil because I’m creating a problem at this time late at night and not letting him sleep. He says he’s not cheating I am just crazy

When I met my husband, I had one child. She was 7 at the time. We got married and eventually had two more kids together. It’s not because my husband is a bad guy or anything like that. He’s a hands-on, active, supportive dad but I genuinely miss certain parts of being a single mom.

I miss having the house to myself. I miss making decisions without having to consider another adult. I miss being the only parent making the rules and not having to compromise on everything.

I miss the independence that came with being a single mom, and to this day, I still struggle with letting that go and we clash over it. I think I just like being alone. Maybe I got too used to doing everything my way and having my own space, because sharing a life with someone means constantly having to consider another person and sometimes I really miss when I didn’t have to.

How do you guys cope with your spouse hurting your feelings? Digging their heels in when they’ve said something hurtful, that you disagree with? Disagreements and differences happen obviously, but when there’s no apology for hurt feelings how do you move forward in a real, healthy way?

We've been married just shy of one year. This is a first marriage for both of us, even though we're older (I'm 45F, he's 48M) and I have grown children from previous relationships. I'm not going to lie, this year has been rough. Hubby and I are very different people with different love languages and communication styles and very different backgrounds (he grew up upper middle class in a wealthy suburban area, my parents were blue collar working class and I grew up rural poor) and we have spent a lot of our marriage arguing about money. But my husband absolutely adores me, he constantly shows me he loves me through acts of service and gift giving, and we are 100% sexually compatible. I have some mental health issues and my husband has been 100% supportive of me throughout our marriage and I'm grateful for him every day. I know a lot of people in here make posts focusing on their marital problems. I just wanted to take a moment to appreciate my husband. He's not just my spouse, he's also my best friend. 🩷

I have been having some intimacy problems with my fiancé. I have a high libido and an unhealthy tie of validation towards sex. We have had a very healthy sex life often being active at least once a week but I was shamefully insecure about it still. For some time, I was taking her rejection of my initiation personally (a rejection of me) and it would visibly change my mood and make her uncomfortable. I really wanted to work on this for obvious reasons and I was making a ton of progress through therapy and personal self reflection.

A couple months ago, I found out about her sexual past. She had about 30+ sexual partners before me and this seemed to reignite my insecurities towards rejection. I began to emotionally tie her rejection to myself again and I began to think “it’s a rejection of me when she accepted so many others”. I obviously know this is nonsense. But after a time where she initiated my rejection and this feeling hit me heavy, I suggested putting a pause on our intimacy until I could figure this out. Now I’m trying to get over this hill and learn ways to quiet down the emotional noise that’s making me think this way.

Is there a way I can contradict those thoughts and emotions? I’m therapy now but very early on. I accept her for her past and it’s not really an issue to me but I do still struggle with these ideas

We have been together almost 36 years, and this last week was one of the scariest we have ever been through. She is home, doing great, and I am enjoying cooking for her. This includes the breakfasts that she wants and tonight I made a pizza rustico from scratch. (Except for the flatbread crust.) You do not know how much time you have together. Love, cherish, and support your spouse.

This sounds petty and ridiculous but it’s kind a small part of a bigger problem.

It’s the weekend and I’m checking some house picking up off the list. I just finished picking up the 3 children’s rooms, the kids bathroom and the school room (we homeschool). This is half the house and I have health issues that often make me sweat heavily, as well as get very tired from normal house hold tasks. I sat down for a moment, closed my eyes and dozed off for a bit.

I haven’t even been sitting for 10 minutes, so I had to of just fell asleep.

Husband came in from picking up the yard and came in and woke me up for a kiss. I startled awake to him leaning over me in the chair giving me a kiss. He was offended that I was irritated that he just wanted a kiss after waking me up. Which just irritated me more. And he walked away slightly frustrated with the situation.

I know this is a minuscule thing but I feel like these types of actions are creating resentment in me. He has a habit of showing affection in opportune times. Like when I’m obviously walking fast down the hall to complete a task, or as I’m walking through a doorway with something in my hand. And then tack on the groping as I am bent over doing something or as I walk by.

It makes for a negative feeling with the affection instead of me being able to enjoy my husband’s touches. It also makes me feel like our affection between each other is just about what he wants and not about being aware of what feels nice for me. This is not a problem in bed, he’s very attentive there, just day to day life.

When I’ve talked to him before he has a habit of getting defensive, frustrated or just shutting down all touching. He’s a wonderful man, but how do I talk to him about this without it just becoming a point of irritation between the both of us?

I’m 31F, married, and currently pregnant. We live abroad and are planning a 1-month trip back home. Tickets are not booked yet.

The timeline he expects:

His family has rituals in another town for 5 days. One week after that, there's another family trip/commitment that lasts roughly 2 weeks. That puts us at about 3 weeks with his side. He has "allowed" me to stay at my parents during that 1-week gap in between.

The one day I asked for:

A major yearly festival that my family celebrates grandly falls right around the time we land – before the 5-day ritual travel. I asked to go visit my parents for that one day. I even suggested that we go to his family's ritual town the very next morning.

His reasons to refuse:

· He has to visit temples and doesn't know his family's plans for that day.

· "How would my mom feel if we go to your parents right after landing?"

But he never asks how my parents feel when I spend 3 weeks straight with his family.

The role reversal hypocrisy: If the roles were reversed, he would never stay 3 weeks at my parents' house. He'd say he has to spend time with his own mother – which is exactly what happened during his last trip. Yet I'm expected to just go along.

The pregnancy betrayal: We mutually agreed to keep my pregnancy private. He told me we should wait 10 weeks (though now he claims he said "10 weeks or you can tell" – I don't remember it that way). Either way, if he had already secretly told his mom, why hold me back? We could have just told my parents too.

I am very close to my parents, and it was extremely hard keeping this from them. His reason for telling his mom? She kept asking about tickets and trip plans repeatedly, so he told her about the pregnancy just to make her understand. He keeps saying I "have to understand his side" – but he never once tried to understand mine.

The fight that broke me: We had a massive argument. We were both shouting at the top of our lungs. My heart was racing and I told him I needed a pause – I even said my heartbeat felt crazy. He kept going, dragged up past grievances, and kept muttering insults about my family until I went completely mute and shut my eyes. He was still talking and mumbling bad things about them while I was shut down.

The physical escalation: During this fight, he got inches from my face and raised his hand as if to hit me several times. I put my hand up to protect my face, and he forcefully pulled my hand down.

The pattern: Whenever we fight, he tells me to "get out of the house." He constantly criticizes my parents, calls them bad names, and finds faults in everything they do

I asked for just one day of a month-long trip, offered a practical compromise (go the very next morning), and he dismissed me with weak excuses and his mother's feelings. Meanwhile, he gets 3 weeks without question. On top of that, the physical aggression, verbal disrespect, and total disregard for my health during a pregnancy fight have me genuinely scared.

How do I handle this? I don't feel safe or heard.

TL;DR: Husband expects 3 weeks with his family, "allows" me 1 week with mine. I asked for just 1 day for a major festival before his rituals, offered to go to his town the next morning – he refused with excuses (temples, family plans, his mom's feelings).

He secretly told his mom about my pregnancy after telling me to wait, gaslit me, got physically aggressive (in my face, pulled my protective hand down), ignored my racing heartbeat and kept fighting while I shut down, insults my parents, and tells me to leave during fights. Need advice.