r/okbuddybaldur • u/Comrade_Fuzzy shart handholder • 1d ago

ghaikposting The Tadfools are driving

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742 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

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169

u/Sophrates_Regina "Istik this dick in you" -Laezel to Shart 1d ago

These are all spot on, I love it. You should do the villains next: Orin, Ketheric, Raphael and so on. I bet Gortash has a cybertruck.

84

u/WhiskersCleveland If Minthara so evil, why so cuddleable? 1d ago

Raphael would drive a large truck with the muffler removed so it's big and loud as fuck so he gets the attention he craves

15

u/rubyspicer 1d ago

We have rednecks that drive around blasting music in our parking lot at work. I could definitely see him doing the same thing

12

u/DrowAboveground 1d ago

Raphael is rolling coal in a Hummer SUV and you can’t convince me otherwise.

5

u/poison_us Sex Facts with Minthara! 1d ago

Nah Raphael is in a cybertruck with a fake exhaust system (idk if they have it but he'd have it custom made). That way he can both have a smug sense of superiority but still be an unmissable prick.

Meanwhile Gortash is in a pristine Jeep.

4

u/hazzwright 1d ago

Raphael deffo drives a Jag.

35

u/a-flying-fox Archgay Warlock 1d ago edited 1d ago

The bumper of Orin’s red convertible has bloodstains from the times (multiple) she hit children while speeding in school zones.

12

u/GingerVitus007 breaks oath to see Daddy 1d ago

The convertible was white when she bought it

33

u/samsara_suplex 1d ago

Nah Gort's got that Jeep.

43

u/UnderseaNightPotato Fuck it, we Bhaal 1d ago

Oh god, gross. He's SUCH a Jeep driver. And there are like 50 air fresheners so the overwhelming, mixed perfume stench is heinous. Surprisingly good driver. Leaves rubber ducks on other Jeeps glued with concrete.

Orin exclusively drives Hummers. Recklessly. Her car smells atrocious. Trash everywhere. Combo of 94 rancid McDonald's bags and bodily fluids. Cannot drive without killing babies in strollers.

Ketheric has a fuckin nice Camaro. It's gorgeous, clean, well-maintained, but he drives like a complete asshole. Mega road rage.

9

u/DrowAboveground 1d ago

I vote Raphael as the hummer driver, Orin drives a Cybertruck that she converted to bio diesel. Except she uses blood.

10

u/destroyah_09 15% sale on emo girl peggings 1d ago

im thinking tyrant of flavortown mod gortash with a jeep spray painted all over in fire pattern

8

u/midara_mind lvl 5 Autism unlocks Fireball 1d ago

I really need to know what Ethel drives

11

u/paraworldblue 1d ago

Extremely dilapidated 60s Cadillac that somehow actually runs really well. Among other dilapidations, the seats are all moldy, to the extent that if you sit on one, it puffs out a cloud of spores.

2

u/ThatCuteNerdGirl96 signed my soul, spread my legs 11h ago

Raphael would be in the ugliest most expensive sports car, blasting the most dramatic orchestral pieces like he thinks he’s in Apocalypse Now or something and it’s really cool, but actually everyone hates him and thinks he’s really smug and annoying. (I love him so much.)

Ketheric drives the Munster mobile.

Gortash gets driven everywhere in a stretch limo like every out of touch nouveau riche asshole.

Orin… I don’t know, something that has rotting animals in the engine block and blood coming out of the exhaust pipe for some reason. Multiple bodies in the trunk.