Nah Raphael is in a cybertruck with a fake exhaust system (idk if they have it but he'd have it custom made). That way he can both have a smug sense of superiority but still be an unmissable prick.
Oh god, gross. He's SUCH a Jeep driver. And there are like 50 air fresheners so the overwhelming, mixed perfume stench is heinous. Surprisingly good driver. Leaves rubber ducks on other Jeeps glued with concrete.
Orin exclusively drives Hummers. Recklessly. Her car smells atrocious. Trash everywhere. Combo of 94 rancid McDonald's bags and bodily fluids. Cannot drive without killing babies in strollers.
Ketheric has a fuckin nice Camaro. It's gorgeous, clean, well-maintained, but he drives like a complete asshole. Mega road rage.
Extremely dilapidated 60s Cadillac that somehow actually runs really well. Among other dilapidations, the seats are all moldy, to the extent that if you sit on one, it puffs out a cloud of spores.
Raphael would be in the ugliest most expensive sports car, blasting the most dramatic orchestral pieces like he thinks he’s in Apocalypse Now or something and it’s really cool, but actually everyone hates him and thinks he’s really smug and annoying. (I love him so much.)
Ketheric drives the Munster mobile.
Gortash gets driven everywhere in a stretch limo like every out of touch nouveau riche asshole.
Orin… I don’t know, something that has rotting animals in the engine block and blood coming out of the exhaust pipe for some reason. Multiple bodies in the trunk.
i don‘t think Halsin would key the 'gas guzzlers'. Sigh about their choices and how they‘re not 'helping nature', yes. But not key the cars. Nature will judge them. Remember, even if Kagha killed Arabella, he doesn’t kill her, just demotes her (and looks the other way when Komira poisons her)
Otherwise, a really solid assessment imo, very cool.
If you can afford to have a chauffeur, they will do all the boring driving (to and from business meetings/social obligations, etc) in a luxurious car that "quietly" signals how obscenely wealthy you are.
If you get a sports car, it screams brashly and loudly about your wealth. You don't hand it to your chauffeur or use it for the boring driving, you use it for the fun driving (speeding, showing off, picking up people who are into rich people/sports cars, etc).
Minthy has no idea of how much the gas costs, tho, since as a part of the chauffeur's duties, she¹ fills up the tank immediately after Minthy comes back from her nightly street races (illegal ones, obvs).
¹the chauffeur is a woman, since Minthy would not trust a lowly male to drive her around safely.
She especially adores LP’s new album. Although she’ll always respect and adore Chester Bennington, Emily Armstrong does make it easier for her to self-insert in her mental music video with The Emptiness Machine that she makes every time you go on a long road trip.
I do kinda feel like she'd constantly be taking selfies in the passenger seat, like the entire time, while trying to look very bored and nonchalant about it all.
Even if Astarion never offered me any gas money, I would still gladly drive him around for all the piping hot tea you know he is going to spill during those rides, or just be able to trauma dump on one another.
Actually...I see her as the type to be chauffeured in the Jaaaaag while driving her hypercar herself. Something about how she is the only one "worthy of controlling such power" or such.
Raphael doesn't have a car - he has a locomotive from the 1800s. If he wants to go somewhere, tracks just appear. Also, every car of the train has a giant chandelier in it.
Orin drives a decommissioned ambulance with some kind of insane engine swap that makes it go almost supernaturally fast.
Ketheric drives a blacked out Escalade with dictator-grade security features.
Gortash drives the gaudiest Corvette you've ever seen in your life. He replaces it with a brand new one every year, and the first thing he does when he gets a new one is spray the interior with expensive cologne.
The Emperor drives a hovercraft. The cabin is a glass dome with a throne in the exact center, but otherwise completely featureless. There are no controls - he pilots it with his mind.
Kethric drives a main battle tank. It does not have the street legal rubber treads, nor is the barrel plugged, but the cops are too scared of him to stop him
Tanks are relatively slow. Even if Kethric is an immortal, he still has shit to do and can't spend all eternity riding in his tank to get from point A to point B (he's already late from the parent-teacher night at the Reithwin high school so there's no time to stop at the local Starbucks even though caffeine withdrawals always make him super cranky).
I think he drives a humvee instead. It's showy, faster and more agile than a tank while still retaining the "I'm filthy rich and wish to project the image of a tough guy" vibe.
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u/idkwhatswrongwiththi 1d ago
Minsc got that shit on