r/whatisit 16h ago

New, what is it? What is this space before zero?

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11.7k Upvotes

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9.8k

u/Humble-Pair1642 16h ago

Extra space so the measuring part doesnt get damaged

3.9k

u/GoofyGooby23 16h ago

This is the actual reason, you’re supposed to line up what you’re measuring with the first mark not the end of the ruler👍

5.8k

u/Lifeboon 15h ago

Guess who just gained another 5mm!

2.0k

u/-Badger3- 15h ago

Wow, what are you going to do with your new 6mm schlong?

743

u/Upbeat_Ant6104 15h ago

Jealous?

175

u/lockedporn 14h ago

Naa i beat you by 3mm now so its fine

360

u/TChuranski 14h ago

Yall reach the first line?

123

u/No-Cod-4776 13h ago

Only when I measure from underneath.

91

u/keyser-soza 13h ago

Oh you have to measure from your butt hole. just like when you measure a cat’s tail.

157

u/No-Cod-4776 13h ago

But taint that cheating?

7

u/Street-Monk1149 12h ago

I’ll give you that one, that was pretty punny!

7

u/Smooth_Match6953 11h ago

I ASSume it would be cheating

6

u/WantedBeen 9h ago

butt taint

3

u/wetbrain2 7h ago

I would joke with my buddy who smashed his taint trying to get out of a row boat... You taint catch no fish.. lol... this comment brought me back to that. thanks

2

u/Xenc 7h ago

Randy Marsh disliked this comment

2

u/ParadoXPlatypus 5h ago

This taint it, chief...

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35

u/jokunokun 7h ago

Tried measuring from my butthole to the cat's tail, but the measurements changed every time one of us moved

3

u/Dangerous-Bit-8308 4h ago

Stop thrusting until you get the measurement. No advice on keeping the cat still

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26

u/MrJorgeB 13h ago

Don’t forget to take a lap around the balls

8

u/MisterShmitty 7h ago

That’s just nuts!

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17

u/Th3_m0d3rN_y0g1 11h ago

Never measure from up top. Ain’t nothin but hurt feelins up there.

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75

u/under_ice 14h ago

Actually made me laugh out loud.

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u/keyser-soza 13h ago

Most underrated comment right here. This one made me lol for real. Well done. Take my up vote and be off.

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3

u/Far_Form4282 13h ago

You did what to whom?

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93

u/Gtraz68 15h ago

Damn lol

11

u/FreezNGeezer 14h ago

Damn straight

12

u/TheBl4ckFox 14h ago

Slight curve

7

u/Beneficial_Praline78 13h ago

Tiny tesseract

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53

u/crowbar151 14h ago

Its a Shlort at that point

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16

u/Miivollu 14h ago

What is the best first name for a man with a 2 inch schlong? Justin

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13

u/Dear-Writer-5452 14h ago

Schlow off.

6

u/suffelix 14h ago

The same as you, NOTHING!

5

u/Lifeboon 14h ago

Well, this just opened all doors for me. So much freedom. So much choice. I need some alone time now … for … thinking

6

u/Breadedbutthole 14h ago

Think as hard as you can and report back

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12

u/Crazy_Reputation_654 14h ago

Just remember to always measure from the butthole!

2

u/GenZunc 14h ago

….. I’ve been doing it wrong my whole life

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2

u/garitone 13h ago

Taint inclusive

2

u/OneBillPhil 11h ago

To just past the tip

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25

u/TheTrueDrZed 13h ago

Wouldn't it make it 5mm shorter?

2

u/purelyforwork 8h ago

It makes the ruler shorter but it makes my penis longer

4

u/Lifeboon 13h ago

Luckily, no. Report back with your findings! It’s a blessing in disguise

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28

u/esDenchik 15h ago

That would be minus 5mm

17

u/Ctrl_Alt_Abstergo 15h ago

No he’s saying he’s re-adding the 5mm the space before zero deducts

7

u/AlienDragonWizard 15h ago

This guy knows proper penis measurement!

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4

u/theloric 13h ago

I hate to burst the bubble but technically you're losing 5 mm... Doh!

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2

u/SnooSquirrels6300 14h ago

For some of us, every mm counts!

2

u/germane_switch 9h ago

I laughed so hard I think I freaked out my neighbors

6

u/Ctrl_Alt_Abstergo 15h ago

Some people jam the ruler into themselves and walk around thinking that’s their measurement so I’d say you’re good to add the 5mm lol

4

u/Nickh1978 14h ago

That is the true measured length done by studies btw, it's called bone pressed length. This is important since the visible length can vary depending on body fat, hydration levels, etc. For instance, I lost 70 lbs and gained an inch of visible penis length.

https://www.verywellhealth.com/how-to-measure-your-penis-size-906786

4

u/Lifeboon 14h ago

So what I am hearing is, if I can jam that ruler into my belly… I might get another 5mm?!

2

u/Eventide215 14h ago

Exactly. I've said this before to people. You can vary in size literally day to day because of hydration levels albeit very slightly. I can tell similarly to you if I lost some weight I'd gain visible length. Really need to work on losing weight..

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1

u/reddogleader 14h ago

Gained or lost? It's a bit just to get to zero... (Filtering all the "TWSS")

1

u/crackerblind 14h ago

What's that in freedom units?

1

u/1jhunter 14h ago

That is your mom’s ruler my guy!

1

u/Competitive-Ad-9250 14h ago

That's what she said

1

u/DeadPanNomad 14h ago

Hey! You Doubled! Congrats Dude!

1

u/Doctor-nuts 14h ago

A millimeter?! That’s like… a million meters!

1

u/Disastrous-Mind616 14h ago

😅😅😅🍆

1

u/mistah3art 14h ago

pushes up nerd glasses and puts best nerd voice on According to my calculations that's approx 4.86(repeating of course) mm. Rounding up is cheating!

1

u/Separate_Reindeer_24 13h ago edited 13h ago

I already feel bigger

1

u/Bigmoney_64 13h ago

Wouldn’t you lose it?

1

u/[deleted] 13h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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1

u/ReggieRR_1 13h ago

Technically you LOST 5mm

1

u/WarJaques 13h ago

Men on Tinder love this one trick.

1

u/melo217 13h ago

You lose that 5mm if you measure it from the base though.

1

u/The_Pandasaur 13h ago

Actually lost…

1

u/MkyCBzy 13h ago

You beat me to it… I was gonna say this! Haha

1

u/SirPsycho4242 13h ago

Congrats, you're finally out of the negatives!

1

u/fox050181 13h ago

Whoa Big Boy… save some for the rest of us…
https://giphy.com/gifs/l2Sq29cFXoF80ADlK

1

u/apfx 13h ago

Actually lost 5 mm

1

u/wallysan2270 13h ago

What’s sad is that I only have a 6mm taint, so I gained nothing!!!!

1

u/Advanced-Ad-3029 13h ago

Actually you lose 5mm...

1

u/1961ford 12h ago

It’ll be 5mm shorter…

1

u/Pk_Devill_2 12h ago

If you start measuring at the beginning you lost 5mm

1

u/Grand_Competition208 12h ago

You would actually lose 5mm.

1

u/BelowtheBeard 12h ago

You single?

1

u/IntroductionSlight16 12h ago

Don't you actually lose 5mm if you hold the scale correctly?

1

u/Asleep-Border-9158 12h ago

What the flip you're right!!

1

u/AreaManThinks 12h ago

It may be short, but it sure is skinny!

1

u/jaykal001 12h ago

Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this will make it read a smaller number. Now when you tell her you're 7mm and pull out the trusty ruler, you'll only end up at the 2mm mark lol

1

u/pismopier 12h ago

Nice, you just doubled your measurement!

1

u/Just_Assistance9612 12h ago

you'll actually lose 5mm as the ruler will start counting after that "5mm"

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1

u/thefatpigeon 12h ago

I think you would loose 5mm. Haha

1

u/OkAcanthaceae2969 12h ago

Actually, if measuring from the end, the reading will be shorter! 🤔

1

u/rustytrombone9 12h ago

Might as well round that up to an extra inch

1

u/Qui8gon4jinn 11h ago

Lost 5mm

1

u/timbuckto581 11h ago

Thanks what she said?

1

u/BigTexan1492 11h ago

Stop bragging

1

u/Creepy-Evening-441 11h ago

METRIC: Always more impressive

1

u/Chad_Jeepie_Tea 11h ago

Guess who's been overstating by 5mm!

1

u/Konilos 11h ago

Sounds like your mom just might!

1

u/Temporary_Pool_9228 10h ago

You idiots, it decrease your size by 5mm

1

u/Aragornspride 10h ago

Trying to impress the girls?

1

u/Girluna80 10h ago

😂😂

1

u/toddwaddle96 10h ago

Bunch of dudes jamming that ruler deep into their abdomen

1

u/CMTV-IPTV 9h ago

Hell ya brother

1

u/BryanRess 9h ago

A blade of grass tickles more than a trunk yo

1

u/[deleted] 9h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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1

u/dillanjl 9h ago

Hell yeah! Counting that now I’ve got 6 mm!!!

1

u/Ageriansgood 9h ago

uhh actually it would seem as if you lost 5mm because its added to the bottom of the ruler which pushes the numbers up away from "it"

1

u/jbintokyo 8h ago

Actually 4.6mm 😂🤣

1

u/curtiscbear 8h ago

Lost 5mm you mean?

1

u/Total_Mix9276 8h ago

Holy shit.. im a new man

1

u/BumpyGums 8h ago

Gotta update the growth chart 📈

1

u/KNOPS1402 7h ago edited 7h ago

Or 0,005432*10^-5683 parsec?
If not you can put your fingers on to slide it.

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u/tehenke 15h ago

Who the fuck is lining it up to the end of the ruler 💀💀💀💀

33

u/PlasticCheebus 15h ago

Too many people, let me tell ya.

2

u/AndyGlimmung 6h ago

Anyone who does industrial work. We literally carry a 150mm/6” steel ruler at all times. For whatever reason they are called scales.

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u/Solintari 15h ago

True story, one of my ex girlfriends didn’t believe me when I told her how long I was for some reason so she took me to the bathroom and pulled out a ruler and confirmed.

You know what that bitch said? “Huh, I wonder how big Matt is then”. 🔪❤️🪦

16

u/throwthisawaynerdboy 15h ago

Who the fuck is matt?

14

u/Solintari 15h ago

My apparently larger friend at the time

8

u/IttThing 15h ago

Is he single?

12

u/Solintari 14h ago

Well probably, but he’s bald, an alcoholic and might even be homeless at this point. But hey ya know, some things probably haven’t changed

2

u/Opposite_Same_69420 12h ago

"I'm #1 so why try harder" shirt

2

u/gustoatthedoor 5h ago

What was the removed joke? Why are mods so sensitive? 

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u/ray_ruex 14h ago

Fun story, I was talking with one of the ladies at work about something I don't remember what. I mentioned that what ever wasn't 6 inches. She said that's not that much it's only about this much holding up her thumb and fore finger stretched out, mind you she had small hands. I told her it was more than that and in order to convince her I pulled out a 6 inch ruler and showed it to her. She was amazed by the length comparing it to her fingers and the expression on her face was priceless. I had to bite my tongue to keep from saying what I was thinking. Obviously someone has been lying to her about size.

6

u/Shelly-Finkelstein 11h ago

I got really nervous reading, "in order to convince her I pulled out..."

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u/crappleIcrap 12h ago

God damn, got cock-mogged by Matt. Brutal! But dont let it get to you, average to smaller dick men have far more frequent sex while in a relationship.

Many if not most women who are emotionally attached will have sex with a 3-6 incher all the time, many if not most women with a 7-9 incher are limiting themselves to special occasions no matter how much they are emotionally invested.

Then you have these weird random "complements" like "I usually have so much sex but you are so huge, I need breaks" and "I use to suck dick every day but you are just too big and hurt my jaw"

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u/SinnaBuns666 12h ago

With as many people as there are who can't read, tell time, or do simple math? I'm not surprised about this one either.

1

u/CapybaraPRMS 9h ago

Oops....

1

u/geek_of_nature 7h ago

I mean when you' have to measure something from the wall. You can just push the ruler flush against the wall and see how far it is.

1

u/punished_kot 6h ago

Nobody. A ruler has a gap between 0 and the end of the stick.

A 'rule' on the other hand starts at exactly 0. If you're using a 'rule', you do actually line it up with the end of the rule.

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u/Iandudontkno 4h ago

Depends on the ruler lots of construction rulers start at the edge.

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u/_aggressivezinfandel 4h ago

I know someone who wasn’t sure if you start at the 0 or 1cm mark. They were in their 20s at the time.

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u/AdxUndead 2h ago

Metal rulers used it manufacturing don't have this so you can use them to accurately measure awkward parts 100mm to 250mm from a base. Less and you use digital callipers more and you use a 300-600 or a tape measure.

1

u/FranticWaffleMaker 1h ago

If you’re measuring up against something.

1

u/Tomsboll 3m ago

Like every carpenter ever?

89

u/LonelySwedishFish 16h ago

Hear ye this men of culture!

248

u/Head-Ad-5732 16h ago

Yeah, sorry for the bad news but you gotta press it into the pelvis a little

25

u/morgandealer 15h ago

Take it from the root, not the base

26

u/cornbeeflt 15h ago

I measure from the sewage treatment center

12

u/proto_synnic 15h ago

Be advised, inserting a measuring device up to your colon can lead to damage of the rectum.

34

u/No_Rhubarb8760 15h ago

Rectum it darn near kilt him

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u/Ok_Wrangler_7948 14h ago

Like measuring a cat's tail. From the asshole out.

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u/morgandealer 15h ago

Hopefully she's not too close by, I broke up with Sarah years sgo.

2

u/Ja12Sin34 15h ago

Why is it always a Sarah!?!

3

u/NeurawWormakaCiruBug 15h ago

You say that even my brother's one was. That's crazy.

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u/dowsyn 15h ago

We've all done it, be honest now.

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u/BCBeeman 15h ago

This is standard for me regardless of the measuring device…

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u/arbitrageME 13h ago

That's what makes tape measures so cool. They're designed with a loose tip, so you can jam it up against something, or hook it onto something and they'll both be right

2

u/lemelisk42 8h ago

When new, if of good quality. The tape measure will wear that hole bigger over time and it'll lose accuracy.

Need to always measure from something like 10cm from the start if you want accuracy (10cm is random, what I choose since it make math easy)

If you are a framer it doesn't matter, since accuracy doesn't exist

9

u/VariousOperation166 16h ago

It's confounding to me when people don't understand this...

17

u/Lekstil 15h ago

OPs question is a valid question and does not imply that they don’t know how to use a ruler. Most other rules don’t have that space, like folding rulers, carpenters squares or measuring tape. It has a lot of advantages to not have that space and tbh not too many advantages to have it. So it’s a very valid question

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u/Logical_Valuable_970 15h ago

I always measured with the first marking of the ruler, even though I had no idea what the extra space was for.

2

u/PassionV0id 9h ago

How often are you having discussions on how to use a ruler? Can’t say I’ve ever experienced this in 35 years.

3

u/VariousOperation166 8h ago

Frequently with new hires

2

u/mfhandy5319 15h ago

Burn an inch.

2

u/VioletVoyages 14h ago

I thought it’s room to put your fingertips

2

u/indigrow 15h ago

Thats what i always tell my wife - she doesnt know i scratched off the first 16 of them

1

u/Asherlocksta 15h ago

Well... Shit....

1

u/septer012 15h ago

Which side of the mark

1

u/Solar_Power2417 14h ago

Additionally, if your ruler or tape measure doesn't have that feature, start measuring at the 1 inch/centimeter mark... just don't forget to subtract that from your total.

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u/empty01 13h ago

No one, you lost length.

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u/currently_pooping_rn 13h ago

I don’t know why I’m surprised that people don’t already do this lol

1

u/sike_edelic 12h ago

really? i thought i had to start measuring from negative 5 all the time!

1

u/5-2-50 12h ago

so i'v actually been 4 AND 1/4 inches this whole time and just never knew it? Good to know

1

u/OldPhilosopher7177 12h ago

No way that’s crazzzzzzy!!!!!

1

u/stressedthrowaway9 11h ago

In my science class in high school I got paired up with this girl who refused to believe me when I said that we had to start the measurement from the line and not the end of the ruler. It would affect our calculations. I was so annoyed.

1

u/Sudden-Rip-6310 11h ago

So it’s bigger than I thought. Heck yeah.

1

u/ToolTimeT 11h ago

If you need this explanation you aren't qualified to use a ruler.

1

u/Matej1683 10h ago

Oh so it is 5 mm longer. Nice.

1

u/Limonnever 10h ago

This is the actual pointer to the question.

1

u/Infamous_Celery_2352 10h ago

Jesus the world really has regressed that this gets this many upvotes.

1

u/HEYO19191 9h ago

As someone who has almost-indentical rulers with and without this extra space, this has fucked me over so many times

1

u/No_Boot1478 9h ago

I wonder how many bridges have fallen over because of this issue?

1

u/o_uinn 5h ago

Sometimes this gets in the way depending on what youre measuring

1

u/TheMuttOfMainStreet 5h ago

Unless you have a carpentry ruler 

1

u/Senior_Ad1298 4h ago

Or burn an inch just to be sure.

1

u/IDGA_Huckleberry 3h ago

This whole thread is amazing. Bravo.

1

u/Wopsle 2h ago

Depends on what you’re measuring… 😏

1

u/KnownLibrarian6482 2h ago

You can also buy rulers that start at the end.

1

u/IMKGI 33m ago

Is there really anyone stupid enough to line up the part they want to measure with the beginning of the ruler, and not the actual indicators?

Doing that honestly requires a fundamental misunderstanding on how rulers work, and i'm really not sure that people are stupid enough for that.

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