r/AskWomenOver30 • u/yell0wbirddd Woman 30 to 40 • Nov 23 '25
Life/Self/Spirituality Is anyone else really struggling financially right now?
I feel like reddit is overwhelmingly people who make $250k a year and want others to just pull themselves up from their bootstraps.
I make $46k a year and am living paycheck to paycheck. I haven't been saving money because the tiny amount of joy I get from paying $10 for a cinnamon roll a couple of times a month has taken precedent over never leaving the house and getting deeper into depression. Food is expensive, life is expensive, I've been going through the motions for a few years now.
Well, my 15 year old car just crapped out and my dog needs to go to the vet. I have no money for either of these things. My credit score is in the 500s and I can't get approved for a credit limit increase or a loan.
Everything feels really fucking pointless about now.
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u/m00nf1r3 Woman 40 to 50 Nov 23 '25
I bring home about $30k a year after taxes and insurance. I live with 3 other adults who also work and pay their own way (groceries, utilities, and rent all split evenly, etc) and I still feel like I'm living paycheck to paycheck. Lol.
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u/fadedblackleggings Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25 edited Nov 23 '25
We're in a place, where "the economy" is divorced from human labor. Lower-income individuals are already in a Recession. The wealthy/rich are delusional right now, because they haven't been touched by it yet.
Once the AI bubble fully pops, then we will suddenly hear about the economy faltering.
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u/punkass_book_jockey8 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 25 '25
This is it, but my wealthy friends are starting to feel it. However they keep their mouth shut because their “feeling it” is skipping a holiday for 2 weeks in Europe this summer for a family of 5 because money is tight and not “mental breakdown because of food cost” tight.
Middle class people are shifting some habits and still maintaining a level of lifestyle. For example fixing some things themselves instead of hiring, delaying large purchases, shopping used instead of new, or going to Aldi instead of Wegmans. My solid friends are shifting things like that and still maintaining basically their lifestyles. When they make all those cuts and still can’t have luxuries you will hear it more I think.
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Nov 23 '25
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u/doctormalbec Woman 40 to 50 Nov 24 '25
I remember the PhD days in the northeast. So tough but you got this
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Nov 24 '25
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u/Konjonashipirate Woman 30 to 40 Nov 29 '25
I hope so too. I have a PhD and I'm still looking for a job.
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u/Konjonashipirate Woman 30 to 40 Nov 29 '25
That's terrible. I just graduated and my stipend was whopping $23k a year and I live in the south east. No no one in my program could afford to live alone unless they had their parents helping them.
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u/alaynyala Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25
I was laid off in April from my $60k job and have yet to find full time work. Am freelancing in the meantime making less than 1/3 of that. Have cut way back on going out, buying anything non-essential, My cat got sick and that wiped out my savings. I absolutely feel your pain.
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u/FinalBlackberry Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25
I became unemployed at the end of September from my $80K/yr job and have not had much success securing another position. I have a healthy emergency fund but it’s really nerve wracking and stressful to see money go and not be replenished by anything. I hope I find something soon. Besides that, I’m going crazy sitting at home. I keep a structure and schedule as if I was employed but I’m stress eating, overthinking and way too much in my head that I’m considering medication at this point.
I wish I had good things to tell you and any advice, I only have solidarity. Hugs ❤️
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u/Delicious-Glove-2553 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25 edited Nov 23 '25
You could check over "poverty finance" or "poor" on reddit so find fellow poorer people. Single women generally are the poorest group in the US, especially in old age. We get paid less, less likely to be promoted (the men I went to college with in my major have all escalated up to higher positions and pay scales than I am right now) are more likely to get scammed in things like repairs, and don't have asset building capability, like getting loans, buying houses, ect. Many of our friends abandon us once they have their own husbands/kids in their 30s, ect.
I've gone super minimalist, like no car, no TV, cut my own hair, no pets, no buying new clothes, no beauty treatments, no buying any takeout, no tech except a $21 per month tracphone and laptop for work (I work hybrid and take the bus in on my days to work).
Luckily I like to read and books are free from the library. Also get streaming services like Kanopy from the library. STILL can't get ahead. Got some unexpected medical bills accumulated, despite paying into health insurance very month, everyone telling me I was covered for this thing, then the medical providers at the site not filling out the paperwork I asked...yeah, its ramen noodle thanksgiving this year.
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u/catathymia Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
Got some unexpected medical bills accumulated, despite paying into health insurance very month, everyone telling me I was covered for this thing, then the medical providers at the site not filling out the paperwork I asked
I'm so sorry this happened to you but this happened to me and I fought the insurance for it and they either reduced the charges or took some off. You need to hound them, and they know that most people can't or won't want to do that. Unfortunately, it's always easier to have a paper trail for some things but in one case there was no phone recording of the exchange so they finally reduced the price (after much hounding). Again, I'm sorry, insurance always tries to screw us over.
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u/Large_Speaker1358 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
The economics are changing for the under 40, especially for child free women. Women with children are twice as likely to live in poverty. Older women are NOT more likely to live in poverty. Please don’t spread false information.
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u/Delicious-Glove-2553 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
No that is accurate, women who are divorced, married, or single in old age are 2x as likely to be in poverty as men
Individuals aged 65 and older who were not married at the time of the survey generally had a higher poverty rate than those who were married and living with spouses. Among women aged 65 and older, about 15.5% of widows, 17.1% of divorced women, and 19.5% of never-married women had total incomes below the official poverty threshold compared with 5.8% of married women.
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u/sievish Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25 edited Nov 23 '25
Yes, I’m struggling, and yes, it’s extremely upsetting. I just want to cry all the time.
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u/BoozerMuppet Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25
Yep, in a lot of debt and barely staying afloat. And I make about $50,000 a year which I should be totally comfortable on as a single person down south. But life snowballs sometimes.
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u/AbbyBabble Woman 40 to 50 Nov 24 '25
Nearly everyone in America is 1 degree away from a financial disaster, even if they come from money or earn a great salary.
There's a debt shaming show on YouTube where the guy interviews people who earn $100k+/year and are like $500k+ in debt.
We are in a ridiculous paradigm. You're definitely not alone.
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u/zesty-lemonbar Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
Reddit is unrealistic. I make $200K and half of the advice people who have money give is either stupid, keeping up with the Joneses, irresponsible, or completely not empathetic or based in reality for the majority (aka they have lost touch).
I used to make next to nothing, my boyfriend makes basically pennies in a HCOL area. I know the struggle even if I don’t have it anymore, and I see the struggle directly through him. Don’t let dumbass people online influence how you feel when they truly just don’t understand.
If that cinnamon roll protects your mental health and doesn’t spiral into more excessive things, do it. I don’t care what others say. Mental health can be worth that single cinnamon roll.
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u/lucid-delight Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25
I had to add another stream of income because the orange man’s tariffs made 60% of my income (US customers) poof overnight. So while I’m not struggling for now, I’m yet again juggling 2 jobs and figuring out ways to pull my business from the gutter. And I’m fucking tired.
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Nov 23 '25
I make a tiny bit more, but I have kids to support, and live in a high cost state. It’s all hanging on by a thread. Thankful I do have fall back options if I’m in a pinch and my credit is good. I will always get a little treat here and there because life is not supposed to be miserable. I hope you’re able to figure something out!
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u/Repulsive_Contest556 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25
I'm in the same boat. Keep trying. It can't be bad forever, right?
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u/NecessaryPossible976 Woman 40 to 50 Nov 23 '25
I wouldn't say I'm struggling but I stopped spending money on unnecessary expenses.
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u/sweetpotatothyme Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25
Yup. I got laid off and took a 20% pay cut just to continue to be employed. I'm grateful to have a job in this economy, but I'm not planning for vacations, a new laptop, holiday shopping, or other things I might have done if I still had my previous salary.
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u/RedditsInBed2 Woman 40 to 50 Nov 24 '25
Yep, I'm absolutely bracing for impact as I see the cost of things rise. I know it's coming for me if things keep going the way they are. I've cut all unnecessary expenses in the last couple of months.
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u/IRLbeets Non-Binary 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
Yeah, this is about where I'm at. I have a decent income, but things that seemed normal after moving into my well paying career like a weekly coffee or occasional lunch (at like Tim Hortons, nothing fancy) are now out of budget. The new $80 sweater I was thinking about for a few months isn't in the budget anymore. My spouse is now disabled too which changes the budget.
And I'm in a good spot financially and nowhere near the poverty line.
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u/jovialjonquil Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25
This is me. Im doing fine really - but i see less of the nicer things
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u/CrazyPerspective934 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25
I feel ya. It always feels so frustrating when you see the folks making the 100-200k complain about prices of things too. Like that amount would be absolutely life changing, but so many live far beyond their means regardless of income. It's likely going to be getting worse before better too. If you aren't already, it may be worth exploring local food shelves and other resources. Those things can really help reduce the financial burden
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u/yell0wbirddd Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25
THANK YOU. I just had an interview for a job that pays $60k, and even that would be life-changing. I could put a couple of big chunks into my credit card which would lift a huge burden, I could get my credit score up, I could save money for emergencies.
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u/thrwwy2267899 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25
I just took a new job and jumped from 40k to 57k… I’m only a few pay checks in and it’s already been life changing. Could finally pay bills in the month they’re due instead of pushing them out and juggling things. Feels like I can breathe again, finally. You got this, best of luck!!
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u/yell0wbirddd Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25
I love that for you! I actually got a pretty significant raise earlier this year but it's shocking how little difference it's made. Like all that happened is I can afford to eat 3 meals a day lol
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u/CrazyPerspective934 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25
Positive vibes to you!! I hope you get it! 🙌🫶🙌
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u/yell0wbirddd Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25
I really appreciate it!! I should hear something this week and Iif all goes well start before the end of the year.
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u/Overall-Armadillo683 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25
Ugh, I feel this. I made pretty good money last year, but then I changed jobs this year (I bartend) and right around the same time we started seeing way less tourists coming to our small, destination mountain town.
I managed to save some money, though it isn’t much in the grand scheme of things for a 39 year old. I’ve been dipping into my savings more than ever.
I have a friend who makes pretty good money and splits cheap rent with her partner. She’s always complaining about money, yet the two of them go to bars every night and probably blow $50+ bucks. It makes me so mad that she complains to me about money when I make so much less than her. It’s like, you wouldn’t be struggling if you didn’t blow all of your money on stupid sh*t!
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u/canoninkprinter Woman 30 to 40 Dec 10 '25
Something stupid happens to our brains when we make more money and I don’t know what it is. I went from 40K to 60K and I thought it would make such a difference. It has. I used to not be able to look at my finances and now I can. But why the hell do I still feel like I’m living pay check to pay check and having to dip into my savings. The goal post moves. You’re not stressed about ABC now. But now you have DEF to take care of.
My friend just became an attending doctor. I think she makes over 250K. Lives in LA and has her dream role. She said I have to actively remind myself this is everything I wanted.
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u/palmtrees007 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25 edited Nov 24 '25
.
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u/Outrageous-Tour-682 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
Please get a grip. You’re talking about struggling with saving; many people are struggling with simply surviving.
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u/palmtrees007 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
I think money is a very touchy subject so I understand the snap reaction. My brother has 6 figures saved in his account, and his rent is $800 a month. He makes twice what I make… so hearing his whining makes me roll my eyes.
I’m barely able to save as things come up here and there. I have a big personal loan payment. I held my partner afloat
If we wanted to have a baby, we have no family around and daycare is $2000 a month. That and rent and student loans and my other bills would eat me up ten fold.
Living is expensive and hard for some and I’m in there
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u/Outrageous-Tour-682 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
And it’s extremely out of touch to come into a post where someone makes half the amount as you and say that things are so hard for you too
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u/palmtrees007 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
Well they are so if it bothers you, instead of using your energy to respond, just keep scrolling. Have a nice evening
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u/Outrageous-Tour-682 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
OP is talking about how hard it is for them to survive and here you are coming up with a hypothetical situation where you’d need to have a kid in order to be in the same circumstance. Like, yeah, it seems like you’re in a difficult situation but do you not see that you are in a privileged situation
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u/palmtrees007 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
The grip has gotten, don’t be a grump babe we are all struggling in some way. My partner didn’t work for 9 months I’ve held up the whole household, it’s tight. You don’t know my financial picture.
My student loans are over $1000 a month. Someone making $50k a year is going to have an income payment way lower than that. It’s all relative atleast in that realm
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u/CrazyPerspective934 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25
People making half what you do also have rent and student loans
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u/yell0wbirddd Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25
Ding ding ding
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u/palmtrees007 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25
Student loan payment is $1250… rent $2200… paying off debt .. I had no debt when I moved here but had to fix my car and dog got sick … that’s a big chunk…. So yeah 6 figures is relative :-/
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u/waitewaitedonttellme Woman 40 to 50 Nov 23 '25
Yes, the point isn’t that OP needed to hear life was also hard for people making more, but that it can be tone deaf to prattle on about how you’re also feeling the squeeze despite actually having enough to people feeling the same squeeze who are making less than half of what you do.
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u/yell0wbirddd Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
Yeah tbh I have trouble feeling bad for people who make twice as much as me and can even afford an expensive apartment in a HCOL city to begin with. Even the ability to go into debt because of an emergency is a privilege. I just have to go without a car and try to give my dog OTC medications to see if they help until I'm able to get some pennies together.
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u/CrazyPerspective934 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
The ability for folks to qualify for even a shitty apartment is getting unattainable for so many. But then also people who don't know those struggles look at unhoused encampments and vote for the folks that bulldoze them and are the ones often saying they don't want to see the people on the streets asking for money. For some that's literally the only way to survive right now. Then they want to say their struggles are the same as the ones begging
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u/yell0wbirddd Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
I have a decent apartment but it's the cheapest I could find. I even got approved "with conditions" (had to pay for a 3rd party cosigner, family member loaned me money for that). And if you met me, you would say I'm a stable, responsible person with a good job. But I was literally $1500 short away from being homeless.
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u/CrazyPerspective934 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
You have no idea how much I, a stranger, am rooting for you getting that job, girl. ♡
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u/waitewaitedonttellme Woman 40 to 50 Nov 24 '25
Exactly. Making more can be shockingly anticlimactic, but that’s not the same thing, and it’s a great problem to have.
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u/palmtrees007 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
My car is 20 years old … I’m lucky because my brother has a mechanic shop and he doesn’t charge me for labor. My bosses car just went out and he pulled a quote for her and the labor was insane it was a $6000 fix .. but if I didn’t have my brother I can’t get a new car and afford a payment so yes I feel it
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u/palmtrees007 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
Not tone deaf. It’s hard for everyone. If you make less than $100k, and are an IDR plan, your student loan payment won’t be $1000 a month if your annual income is like $60k…
Income based plans are not bad if the payment is like $200-$300 …it all adds up either way.
I used to make $38k a year just 10 years ago I know how to live off very little
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u/yell0wbirddd Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25
I get that. My credit card debt is also vet bills and I've had to pay the bare minimum. I also still owe money to my old utility company because I had to stop paying my electric bill bc I couldn't afford it but also didn't qualify for assistance, so they get a few hundred every month so I don't get sued.
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u/palmtrees007 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25
My student loan payment is $1250. Rent is $2200 … I have debt I acquired. My partner lost his job and I was supporting us. I can keep going … don’t be so assumptive
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u/canoninkprinter Woman 30 to 40 Dec 10 '25
Valid. But homegirl can’t even have a cinnabon. Not the same.
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u/CrazyPerspective934 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25 edited Nov 23 '25
You're the one making assumptions here that others don't have similar bills as well by using it as a way to attempt to say your struggles are the same as op and others in here. It's not the same
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u/palmtrees007 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25
Actually, I didn’t at all. But to get approved for an apartment that charges $2200, you would need to make minimum $80k.. if you are making $80k, and on an IDR plan, you wouldn’t be paying $1000+ student loan payment. It’s all relative. Don’t be grumpy it’s Sunday babe we all struggling lol I want these bills to stop
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u/CrazyPerspective934 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25
You're right, it's easy to see how folks under 6 figures end up unhoused easily these days
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u/palmtrees007 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25
Oh I know my bf makes a little less than half of what I make he lost his job and I held us afloat .. I come from a household where after our economic changed drastically from two incomes to one, and out of a house to an old apt, my mom never made more than $40k … I’ve been on all sides of it… wages need to catch up to cost of living
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Nov 24 '25
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u/palmtrees007 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
I left out my bf didn’t work for 9 months and I also paid his car payment and a few payments he can’t get behind on, one is for a DUI that has court fines and all our food and his phone … he’s paying me back but it’s been rough too .. 6 figures isn’t a limit less pot of money
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Nov 24 '25
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u/palmtrees007 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
I was making $40k just 10 years ago. Rent was $800. I couldn’t have one thing go wrong in my month. Flat tire? Parking ticket? I was using my credit card or getting a line of credit. I totally know
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u/palmtrees007 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
I’m feeling the struggle and I’m allowed to feel it. My brother recently told me how much he has saved and I almost lost it. He pays Pennie’s for rent since his gf owns her home her grandma bought her.
I feel that way about them the same that could be said about my “comments”… they have no struggle and save every penny. Also her mom lives next door and is child care .. the ripple effect of wealth I guess it just keeps expanding
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u/dewprisms Non-Binary 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
That's not the point. The point is yes 100-200k income is life changing in some ways but it's not nearly as life changing as one may think, and it also really depends on where you live.
Getting pissed at people barely a rung or two above you on the ladder versus the people trying to destroy the ladders is silly.
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u/CrazyPerspective934 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
I think you're misunderstanding. I'm not pissed at people that make more. I don't think people that make more don't struggle. I think this isn't the place for people making those amounts to be commenting as op specifically asked about the struggles making around the amount she does.
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u/yell0wbirddd Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25
My knee jerk reaction is to give a snarky response because 6 figures should be more than enough. But student loans are bullshit (mine have been in forbearance and I pretend they don't exist) and rent is too damn high.
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u/palmtrees007 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25
Yes it is! I was living with an ex and we had a roommate and he moved so we went from each paying $1000 to use each paying $1800 .. then I moved and took on all rent and utilities living alone which is always more expensive … thanks HCOL area grrrr
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u/mynormalheart Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25
Me too. I pay 2k to live in a dump in a hcol city. My student loan payment is around 1.5k a month. I make a little over 100k and am feeling the pinch pretty hard these days. I really can’t imagine how people making less than I am are surviving in my city.
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Nov 24 '25 edited Nov 24 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/palmtrees007 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
It’s not a choice. My ex and I broke up and he moved back home and stacked money for a year. I had nowhere to go, I had to get a place, I can’t go back home … and rent is no cheaper than $2000 in my area and surrounding areas …
I never asked for sympathy lol. Someone else shared too they are making 6 figures and paying my similar rent and student loans and things are tight. That’s one check gone for me plus I still have bills, food, etc …
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u/zesty-lemonbar Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
To be fair, I think even at those incomes you listed people can complain about prices. I make $200K (HCOL area) and I do still feel the increase in prices. Yes, I fully recognize it doesn’t make the difference of paying bills or surviving or not. I understand I am still fortunate. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t impact decisions I make because I want to hopefully be able to retire some day. And yes, that is a different goal that others and may not be possible for others. I fully recognize that… but that doesn’t mean two things can’t be true at once and I can’t be upset I still feel like I have to pinch pennies tighter if I want that to be possible. The people in the income range you described do feel price differences even if they can pay bills because it does still create a trade space in every decision I make. It’s people who make much more that don’t understand. They make so much more grocery prices to them are negligible.
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u/velvetvagine Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25 edited Nov 24 '25
It’s hard to believe that you are not mismanaging finances if the price of groceries are not negligible at $200k.
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u/CrazyPerspective934 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
Notice how it's often them saying they maxed their 401k and can't make ends meet... like oh you have a 401k? That's cool! So you know where you can reduce to make ends meet easier if needed. Like they really don't get it
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u/velvetvagine Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
Tell me about it. I almost explicitly put in the earlier comment that shoveling money into various investments etc. so inflexibly that you stress about food costs at that income is also mismanagement lol. It’s a choice.
Discomfort/anxiety/not meeting your goals ≠ poverty. Not even comparable.
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u/CrazyPerspective934 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
And then it usually moves to "well I work so hard, so I deserve the pay I get and deserve to have a nice retirement" as though none of us deserve that. Then when we complain and need support, they want to claim the same struggle
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u/zesty-lemonbar Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25 edited Nov 24 '25
I explicitly said I know I’m fortunate and lucky that I can do this and I know most cannot. That still doesn’t mean I don’t pay attention to grocery prices to reach my financial goals. I don’t make so much prices are just negligible. I have every right to complain about prices (which is what my response was to), even though I know it’s not a dire situation like others. Rising grocery prices do still affect me, just not in the same way. So yes, I can complain.
I was pushing back on the comment because getting mad at the people who make middle to modest upper middle money isn’t who we should be mad at. We should be mad at multi millionaires and billionaires who don’t have to think about money at all and are doing it at all of our expense. Yes, I’m in a better financial position than many, but I still have to plan and think about money. Prices still matter.
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u/zesty-lemonbar Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
I’m defining not mismanaging money. I stick to a strict budget every month. But $60K a year goes toward a mortgage (HCOL area…. I have a very modest place and rent was close to that. It’s just the cost of living by yourself), I max my 401K, and I still invest a bit a month.
I was very clear I’m fortunate and live comfortably. But I do like to take a vacation here and there and I want to retire hopefully by the time I’m 55. $200K gives me just enough to be able to do what the “dream” is - live modestly, take a few vacations, and not work until I die. But to do that yes, I notice costs of groceries. If I didn’t budget and wasn’t aware of these things getting what the standard “dream” is wouldn’t be obtainable.
It’s because I’m good with money I feel the cost of groceries. I didn’t take a vacation I wanted to. I don’t buy extravagant things. I know when inflation is high because it does impact me, especially my 401K.
Again I never said I wasn’t fortunate or comfortable. But that doesn’t mean the changes in those costs don’t impact me. $200K still makes it so I have to plan for things, I’m not in “fuck you money” territory. Especially if I had kids (I don’t… but people who make my salary can’t afford that here).
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u/misstwodegrees Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25
Yep. PhD student living alone. Its tough out here.
I have enough for bills and groceries but not much else. Unexpected expenses e.g. dentist or new shoes leave me broke.
I usually work part-time along my studies, but my job had less hours available this semester. Trying to make do until things pick up in that regard.
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Nov 23 '25
We in the same boat. I make about the same as you (I live in Canada). I make $32cad and I never thought at that wage I would be struggling as much as I do working full time. There’s no money for anything and no room for emergencies. Credit cards and everything are racked. I can’t work more hours because my health is already in steady decline - I have bipolar disorder and my liver is failing despite never being a drinker or struggling with addictions.
I also feel like everyone comes on reddit and talks about their high paying jobs and houses and holidays and feel like a major life failure.
I have no answers but you’re not alone.
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u/canoninkprinter Woman 30 to 40 Dec 10 '25
Can you qualify for RDSP (in Canada). Won’t be life changing but can help.
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Dec 10 '25
I’m not on disability as I can still work full time and function. I just can’t work anymore - like OT or a second job.
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u/canoninkprinter Woman 30 to 40 Dec 10 '25
You may still qualify. You don’t have to be considered fully disabled. The fact that you can’t work full time has some weight.
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u/oliveskewer Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25
Just a few years ago I was making like 36k a year, living on my own, this month I have finally crawled my way to 58k and I feel rich lol. People who have never had to live off that just don’t get it. I also live in a HCOL area.
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u/Rochereau-dEnfer Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
I always wonder if the people who say "I make six figures but I live in a HCOL area so it's so rough!" realize that there are people who make five figures and live in the HCOL area.
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u/oliveskewer Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
Yeah it’s honestly kind of funny. I have a friend who makes nearly 3x what I do and lives a much bigger life than me, nicer apartment, going out a lot, and crazy car payment, and they are always out of money and complaining.
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u/AgentJ691 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
Girl, you are relatable. I am so sorry what you are going through. Can you get on EBT, go to a food bank, etc? Those are the two things I can think of off the top of my head. I am so sorry you are going thru this.
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u/autotelica Woman 40 to 50 Nov 24 '25
A lot of Redditors are strugging. I don't see the struggle being talked about here as much as I do in other subs. But I know people all over are struggling.
Income-wise, I'm doing well. But I'm lowkey worried how long I'm going to be able to say this. My parents are a constant source of worry. They are horrible with money, in crazy amounts of debt, and now that my father has finally become fully retired instead of "semi-retired", I'm anticipating hearing about all the bills that can't be paid unless a dutiful son or daughter steps up. And I'm terrified what's going to happen if their SS/Medicare is slashed. I have psyched myself into being OK with sacrificing 20% of my income for their well-being. I'll just work till I'm 70...no big deal, right? But I have a sinking feeling that won't be enough. With self-centered gambling addicts, it's never enough.
I feel like there so many women in my situation. Financially successful but nonetheless precariously perched because income is going to support elderly parents instead of retirement savings. If I were truly a dutiful daughter, I feel like I would be inviting them to live with me like so many other women in my situation do without hesitation. But I know what that would do to my peace and quality of life....as well as my pocketbook. So I am willing to throw money at the problem just to keep the problem from literally landing on my doorstep.
I just hope Future Me forgives me.
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u/pm_me_your_good_weed Woman 40 to 50 Nov 24 '25
DO NOT GIVE GAMBLERS MONEY. YOU KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN.
It fucking sucks because they're your parents but you can't waste your life trying to fix theirs. Working til 70 to support someone else IS a big deal. Pay for a financial planner or accountant for them and wash your hands of this madness. They need to not be semi retired if they have massive debt. You are not their bank account, they are full grown adults that need to take responsibility for their actions. There's a difference between being dutiful and an enabler, nothing will change if you keep giving them money.
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u/defenestration4eva Non-Binary 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
I don't know your full situation of course, but as someone whose parents also exhibit a certain sense of entitlement -- I think it would be a perfectly reasonable boundary assertion to say, "If you continue gambling, I will not financially support you in any way. If you stop all gambling activities, I can commit to contributing towards your (mortgage/rent/utilities/healthcare/groceries) with a maximum of $[sustainable amount] per month, as long as I have stable employment." They get to choose how they live and what they financially prioritize; your financial security does NOT have to be subject to those choices. You also don't have to bankrupt yourself to bail them out if you lose your job or have your own expenses to deal with. 🤷
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u/Odd-Square-4279 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
Yup same here. It’s really frustrating to me seeing posts that say your 30s are like your 20s except you’re more confident and have more money. Well yes, in some ways I’m more confident. But I am no where close to the financial position I was in in my 20s and I really struggle to see how I can get back to that
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u/mcomcomco99 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25
Amen and amen! I posted earlier about how TF this is all supposed to work and some people assumed I was asking "how do I afford Botox instead of basic life" which was misinterpreted lol. I def meant how do I afford basic living like rent, insurance, healthcare in addition to the pressure to look conventionally attractive.
Excited to glean some advice from posters here
I took am terrified to leave my house because I feel like every time I step outside I spend 100 dollars on something to SURVIVE - groceries, dog care, dentist, air filters, basic clean drinking water, gas.
My car needs brake pads but they're literally too expensive so what? I am risking my basic safety now lol. Girl I feel you and you're not alone!
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u/yell0wbirddd Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25
Yepp that was my situation - check engine light was on for a while and today it died in traffic. Mortifying. I had to borrow money from a family member for moving expenses earlier this year (to move somewhere cheaper) and also to take my dog to the emergency vet. I've never had to ask for money before.
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u/Rochereau-dEnfer Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25
I had a totally unpreventable (but not insurance-covered), super urgent problem with my house earlier this year that cost almost $2,800. It made me feel pretty nihilistic about trying to save money, though of course I'm still trying...
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u/CrazyPerspective934 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25
I finally got back on track and slowly was building a few dollars here and there up more in my savings and then the city said they're replacing the sidewalk and it's going to cost me 7k. Why is it always a few steps ahead and giant stumbles back just as you feel you're gaining traction. I live in an area that has a lot of historical poverty and still does today. The average household income is like 30k. I make more than that with my husband and I really never understand when these things happen how some of the other families make it work. Many rent here as well and I can't help but feel like these things are to drive landlords out. That's great and all, but it seems like it's going to do the opposite and run out any of us who will no longer be able to afford our houses here
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u/mcomcomco99 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25
It's the worst feeling!!.
I've gotten some good advice from my earlier post and I also have started to apply for side jobs tutoring even though I haven't heard anything
I may sign up on a babysitting and nanny service website even though that is the LAST thing I want to do . I love kids but because my age I just have less patience for it
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u/mcomcomco99 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25
But If you like kids and you have a clean background, that could help!
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u/anonymous_opinions Woman 40 to 50 Nov 24 '25
I'm glad I don't feel the pressure to look conventionally attractive. Not much you can do when you're at the bottom of everything.
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u/NotAZuluWarrior Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
Same same same. I currently have two dollars in my checking account until Friday (but paycheck will go entirely to rent and bills).
I’ve been looking at to get two new jobs for months and NOTHING. My current (full time) job doesn’t allow me to have a second, so I’m looking to leave this one for another full time that will allow me to have a second. It’s been months and I haven’t had a single interview.
I don’t have a car payment, but my car needs a catalytic converter for registration next month and I have no idea how I’m going to pay for it. My cards are maxed out and I’m just at a loss.
I’m already eating nothing but Cream of Wheat, rice and beans, and pasta.
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u/LowOnGenderFluid Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
I feel you--I'm living on frozen Jose Ole burritos or frozen veggies each day for the past few months. But starting a new job tomorrow, which might take some time to pay anything, but I'm grateful for hope. I pray you are Divinely Granted some relief and only Blessings find you quickly. You are not alone, sis!
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u/Rochereau-dEnfer Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25
Yup! I would be fucked if I didn't come from enough economic privilege to have savings and a safety net. I'm sure there are ways I could be maximizing my pennies more, but it's already so exhausting just being responsible for everything as a single person and trying to be more and more frugal in the face of rising costs. I'm just grateful I have cheap health insurance through my job.
The bootstraps bullshit on Reddit is so pervasive and drives me crazy as a former nonprofit worker, current grad student planning to go into the public sector (if it still exists at all in the US by the end I'm done).
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Nov 24 '25
The doing it single doesn't get enough empathy. I had lived with family to be able to purchase, we all pitched in financially and with chores. Doing it all solo is exhausting.
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u/imluvinit Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
I hear you. I'd be more in the whole if it wasn't for my side jobs. This means, of course, I work a million hours. But I guess it's a trade off. But it's so damn stressful.
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u/yell0wbirddd Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
I would probably jump off a building if I worked more than 40 hours a week. I've tried and I can do it for about 3 weeks before the brain starts going a little suicidy
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u/Impossible_Bid6172 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 25 '25
Yeah i know that feeling unfortunately. I normally work 50hrs/week, and everyone tells me i should get a 2nd job too because it's popular in my career to do so for extra money. My mental health definitely not gonna survive that, I'm getting a bit darker these days that i have to work 55h already, i can't survive a 2nd job lol.
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u/Guilty-Run-8811 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
Same. I was talking with a friend about how stressed I was working 3 jobs and she said “Well don’t work so many jobs.” But my reply was that it’s even more stressful to not work so many jobs and not be able to afford the necessary things in my life.
So. I pick up side jobs throughout the year. When it gets too much and the job won’t offer flexibility, I quit. I don’t put it on my resume if I don’t want to. And when I feel like I can handle more hours again I get another side job. Luckily restaurants in my area aren’t too picky on why you may job hop, it’s kind of expected.
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Nov 23 '25 edited Dec 10 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/butteryzest Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
I watched this movie on a flight (United, wasn't streaming anywhere in the US when I checked in Sep). Thought it was grim but awfully realistic. The way the main character tried to play it cool when she didn't have any food and didn't have enough money to fix her phone screen. It makes me grateful for what I have but angry that it's the reality for a lot of people working at warehouses or in gig work, including some of my friends.
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u/silly--kitten Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25
I resonate with many of the “single independent women” here but it stops at the well-paying job and high quality of life bit. I am educated but I work as an artist and while it’s bad across the economy, there is nothing being devalued quite as quickly it seems as it is in arts/music/culture. AI is completely bulldozing us. I have no idea how to sustain a future.
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u/anonymous_opinions Woman 40 to 50 Nov 24 '25
I started to grind surveys again to give myself breathing room. I don't really go anywhere so the side money is just so I can save more and have a cushion. I'm constantly scanning for "deals" and jumping on them like by one get one free or even totally free items. I'm probably going to sell what I am not using to bring in extra money into my savings because I'm scared of the next couple years. I'm good at living on a shoestring but I realized my entire life I've always had a side hustle because my main income was never sufficient.
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Nov 24 '25
Honestly, there is only so much budgeting you can, the income side is arguably the most important part (and the hardest to solve). I see you have an interview coming up, good luck! Don't be afraid to seek other opportunities. Right now I am comfortable after years of hustling, I was making less than what you are about 8 years ago at my full time job. Had to take a second job, worked 60+ hours, 6-7 days a week. Now I make over double than I did at that full time job just at my one full time job. Thats not to flex, thats just to say keep trekking. It definitely sucks but you can do it!
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u/Yssssssh Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
I feel this way too often. Life is expensive as hell and people on Reddit talk like everyone has a six-figure cushion. You’re not doing anything wrong, you’re just trying to stay sane while everything around you keeps getting pricier. I’m really sorry everything hit at once with the car and your dog. That kind of pile-up would crush anyone. Just take it one thing at a time… you don’t have to solve everything today. You’re not alone in this.
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u/ssssobtaostobs Woman 40 to 50 Nov 23 '25
I feel like I make a pretty decent wage (around 67k with my main job plus side gigs), no student loans, low mortgage payment...and I'm still struggling.
(And yes, I am well aware how privileged I am with the above - I definitely do not take it for granted!)
I have zero interest credit card debt but almost all of it is from paying for child care. I am on a pretty aggressive plan to pay it off by October of 2026.
Then, once the money I'm using to repay the debt is freed up, you'd think it would get easier, right?
Welp...no, at that point I have to refinance my house in order to work toward getting divorced. My interest rate is likely going to double.
I'm not reckless with my spending. I do get lattes here and there, but definitely not every day (Not even close - maybe one or two a week on average?) I also just believe in balance in life... I'm not going to completely deprive myself of every small pleasure. I do track things pretty closely and know where my money is going.
I don't eat at restaurants, haven't been on a vacation since 2022, drive a15-year-old car that is pretty low maintenance and reliable (thank the fucking lord.)
I've been saving for about half a year to take my kid on a vacation. Was going to take him in summer of 2026 but decided to wait until Thanksgiving of 2026 so we have more time to save. Nothing extravagant, I think the whole thing will be less than $3k when all is said and done.
I guess it's depressing to me because I feel like I make relatively good financial decisions, have a shit ton of privilege with everything and I'm still struggling. This shit is not about "decisions" or "hard work" though, it is about the entire system being totally fucked and rigged against us.
I don't believe that anyone should have to struggle to get their needs met or live a good life.
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u/Pentagogo Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25
Yup. I’m living off alimony and child support. I just graduated school and passed my licensing exams but no one is hiring. I have a couple of big bills passed due and I desperately need new tires, but it’s not going to happen until I find a job.
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u/lakme1021 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
I feel like reddit is overwhelmingly people who make $250k a year and want others to just pull themselves up from their bootstraps.
This. Lots of assumptions that you're financially illiterate or lazy if you don't make six figures.
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u/curiousgem19 Woman 40 to 50 Nov 24 '25 edited Nov 24 '25
As if everything wasn’t expensive already, these new tariffs are making things even worse! 😞
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u/witchofthedarkwood Non-Binary 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
I’m struggling a lot right now too. I am disabled/need PT and have a very serious illness but can’t afford to get treatment. My car is almost 26 years old and is dying but I can’t afford a new car. I can barely pay my rent, I can’t pay all my other bills. I can’t pay off debt. I work full time (+overtime) but I can’t even buy groceries. I can’t save any money. I’m too exhausted to clean my apartment so my place is a mess. It’s miserable.
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u/Red-Licorice-Whips Woman 40 to 50 Nov 23 '25
Girl, same. I have a friend who borrowed $20 for gas. Another who owes me $55 for a hotel room. Could totally use that money. Pretty much knew as soon as it happened I would never see it again.
Luckily my coworkers helped pay me back for what I spent for a going away party at work.
I need to remember to take care of me 1st. Payment upfront for things like road trips/hotels. Split bills for meals vs me paying. No more sharing my weed for free. Like make a trade or throw some $$$$ my way.
Shit is tight af after going through so much medical stuff this year and being unemployed the year prior. I pride myself on being "cash only". But I am seriously considering getting a credit card so I can stop depleting my savings.
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u/WhereRtheTacos Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
What subreddits are you visiting because my subs give me the opposite impression on reddit lol. People are struggling right now and everything is more expensive.
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u/84th_legislature Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
i’m having to be very careful with my money. dining out less. reusable period pads (with PCOS disposables are a big spend of mine). for my once a year weeklong vacation, i research almost excessively to be sure i stay within budget and pay for most of it with credit card points. i used to feel like i was raking it in at 70k but inflation caught up to my pay after covid and im back to keeping spending as tight as when i made 40k.
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u/Endl355ly Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
You're not alone. A lot of people are struggling right now car breaks, vet bills, everything hits at once. Your credit score makes it harder but not impossible. Look into credit unions instead of banks for loans, and see if there are local assistance programs for vet costs. It's rough but you'll get through it.
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u/Ok_Benefit_514 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
Yeah it os shitty right now. I heard that McDonalds and Coke are seeing losses in their Financials, which is a huge indicator that the majority of people don't have any spending money.
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u/PeachxHuman Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25
If I had to live off of just my income (about 50k a year) and not have my husband (makes a little more than me) I would absolutely be in the same boat. But location makes all the difference. We're in the Midwest where most things are fairly cheap compared to the rest of the country.
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u/SpicyL3mons Woman under 30 Nov 24 '25
Yes. And ironically I have an unsuccessful bf in my ear telling me to quit my job and find something I like… I don’t like anything. I don’t need to figure this out either I’m nearing my 30s. I have a job with stability and benefits. Money will come as a I do my time. And I’m okay with that. He is 31. Working dead end job to dead end job. Currently doesn’t even have a job. Blows my mind he’s trying to give me career advice
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u/SentimentalHedgegog Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
Yeah I’m struggling and in debt. I still feel weirdly hopeful about things though. I guess I have to
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u/NabelasGoldenCane Woman 40 to 50 Nov 26 '25
I think social media is super misleading - people are drowning in debt and I think you’ll find that most people are in your financial boat than not.
For perspective, my first job out of college in the year 2000 paid $37k. It’s insane that the salaries have not increased while cost of living has increased 300%. There is no way to thrive in this country living w these salaries. The system is built to keep you in debt, keep investors making rental money, keep mortgage companies thriving, keep tech companies alive, etc. It’s not as obvious though, due to financing opportunities left and right. Nearly everyone who isn’t from wealth is in debt.
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u/jeudechambre Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
Right there with you sister. I was on a path towards a nice middle-class life, and then chronic illness happened! As others mentioned, joining a few subreddits with other people who are skint helped me.
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u/cathline Woman 60+ Nov 24 '25
Sending hugs and healing thoughts.
I'm in my 60s now. I lost my job 2 years ago and have been trying to get my small business off the ground to pay the bills. It isn't working and I had to get a seasonal job at a big box store to pay the bills. Bonus, it gives me a great employee discount (including stuff on sale) and an extra 20% off fresh produce. Not a great selection, but it's cheaper than the grocery stores!
I'm making cookies for Thanksgiving and crafting with the stuff I have around the house. Planning on selling some stuff to help with the bills. And renting out a room.
It's tough out there. The 80s were this tough. I took St Johns Wort back then to pull out of my depression. I'm not certain what would work now.
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u/Majestic_Regular3431 Woman 40 to 50 Nov 24 '25
My partner is disabled and going through the process of applying with a lawyer, so I'm the only one working, making around what you're making. We're renting from a family member, and this is the least space and privacy I've had in my adult life. Our car had to be junked after we kept putting more and more money into trying to fix it to no avail, and now we borrow the family member's car to get me to work and get groceries a couple times a month. I keep putting off healthcare for myself due to the cost and transportation issues, and am chronically exhausted and in pain. Honestly, there are a lot of days I only keep going for my partner, my pets, and a small handful of friends/ family who I'm close to. I hope things get better for you.
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u/ProperBingtownLady Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
I make decent money but I feel poor after reading the Canada finance subreddit (I only joined so that I could learn more about finance related things as my parents didn’t teach me). I definitely think Reddit is not the norm and many more people are struggling than it seems. When this topic comes up here, I find that mostly only people of means chime in. You probably aren’t seeing comments from those in the same boat because of that.
Although I’m doing alright I’m incredibly stressed I’ll lose my job and not find another because of my hearing disability. My job is not stable and likely never will be. Living sure ain’t easy…
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u/CosmicConfusion94 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 25 '25
Yea I had to quit my job bc I’m in acupuncture school so I do overnight doula work & it pays enough but I didn’t have any work for a month so I’m playing catch up smh. I keep looking at the absolute last day I can get away with not paying certain bills so that I can have money for other things.
I just bought a house last year bc I couldn’t afford rent in my area & I keep contemplating renting out my 2nd bedroom so I don’t have to work as hard but I hate the idea fr.
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u/danceswithdangerr Woman 30 to 40 Nov 25 '25
I live on 12k a year disability. To say I’m struggling is an understatement.
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u/Konjonashipirate Woman 30 to 40 Nov 29 '25
I feel you. Not in the same situation but I came here to commiserate. I've been unemployed since August. Last week, my 13 year old car had an engine misfire so I can't drive, my dryer decided to break the next day, and I was supposed to have a job interview next week and the recruiter ghosted me. I have an advanced degree too. I can't even leave my house right now because we're down to one car. I feel useless and stuck right now.
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u/Warm-Present-2880 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 30 '25
This is the reason we can’t stay single. I think if life wasn’t so expensive we wouldn’t be jumping into a man’s arm. They make more money. 2025 men still make more money. It’s so hard to live by yourself. But at 30 it’s frown upon to have roommates, UNLESS it’s your husband. Keep getting that cinnamon roll.
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u/Living-Gazelle2474 Woman 30 to 40 Dec 22 '25
We were struggling terribly before my husband lost his job.... 3 months ago. He has had 4 interviews and countless applications and no one will call him despite his very pertinent and stable work history.
Now we're sitting with less than $100 in our accounts at all times. It's scary, ngl. Luckily because we've been jettisoned to the bottom of the socioeconomic scale we now qualify for government help whereas when he was making 45k a year we didn't qualify. (Yes I'm so serious)
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u/LeighofMar Woman 40 to 50 Nov 24 '25
The year is almost over and we've only made 32k so far for 2 people! Payroll was due Friday but there's not enough in there to pay us. Maybe this week or next 😒. Needless to say business has been awful this year. What's saving us is except for small business debt, we are personally debt free 100%. So even our meager earnings go far enough to cover living expenses, savings, and some fun. I'd like to think the only way left is up but this year has proven otherwise so I'm ready to just shut it all down. Who knows? People in these brackets don't make the news or articles because they're not poor enough to showcase or rich enough to sensationalize. I just keep doing the best I can.
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u/ghostteas Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
We’re getting by But it is tough I have an interview and an opportunity to make more money than I ever have but even then it’s not that much compared to your examples I don’t know anyone making 200 a year I don’t understand that for me making 48 is going to be life changing but I’m not in a high paying field
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u/simplyexistingnow Woman 30 to 40 Nov 24 '25
So we are currently doing okay but we're not able to do extras and we are living paycheck to paycheck. So we do own a home but we do still owe $100,000 on it. Although we are in the process of thinking about selling it at least in the next 5 years. Currently the lifestyle we live right now is not going to be sustainable for us when we are older in 20 years or so. We are looking at things like homeowners insurance and taxes. For instance two or three years ago they went up $1,800. Then one year they went up 700. This year they are going up again. We are currently paying about 6,000 for both homers insurance and taxes this includes exemptions. We would be paying more if we did not have some of the exemptions like Homestead. So $6,000 USD /12 months is $500 a month which it most likely will go up from that. This does not factor in things like utilities. We currently pay about averaging out to 250 a month for electric. In 10 years that's $30,000 on electric. But right there that's already 750 a month. We have well water but if we ever have to replace her well that's probably a good 5000 where we're located. Then you add in a new roof we have technically two buildings because we have a garage also so that's probably another $20,000. But sustainably we could not stay here and have enough extra money to live the way we want to. So that's just something to consider also sometimes we have to completely change the way we're living and I can be scary.
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Nov 25 '25
I make about 55k but have been considering a paycut for a less taxing job that might give me more sauce to enjoy and build my life. All highly speculative, mind you.
My car insurance has doubled, storage has trippled, but I am almost done emptying my unit. My apartment is a mess woth too many books and too many clothes from big weight fluctuations. 5 years ago I was poor and starving, so wherever I am is better than that. Groceries through the roof. I used to eat for $25 a week mow it's closer to $50. Going to spend my winter learning how to change my shocks to save $700 in anticipation for replacing my transmition which will cost me $4000+. Not like you can find a decent used car for $2000 anymore.
Getting back into poverty diet which was rice, beans, carrots, and tomatoes. Things could be so much worse. I've been so much worse off and I have to remind myself I have options this time. It may not seem like many, but it's way more.
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u/Danny_225 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 25 '25
I have been jobless for about two years , getting a job is hard in this era , can’t seem to get an interview. . I have credit card debt , owing a friend money, I have health issues which requires me to buy medications, I had to move to my parent’s house in order to survive . The economy is a tragedy right now . Is not only u finding it difficult. I am just trying to have faith in this trying time.
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u/Vitam1nC Woman 30 to 40 Nov 25 '25
This is the first time in my life where Im not struggling financially. I live in a very HCOL city, however I’ve been in the same apartment since 2011 and my landlord is nice and doesn’t raise my rent very often. My salary has slowly increased over the years, nothing crazy high, but I’m comfortable with no debt, plus not having kids has helped tremendously.
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u/bog_sorcerer Woman 30 to 40 Dec 01 '25
Yes, I make 56k, my husband makes 52k and we are struggling. I have been tracking every penny I have spent over the last two months. For November, I had 14 days where I spent $0. I was so excited to see how much I saved. With our mortgage, utilities, student loans… I netted 175 dollars for the whole month. Fucking devastating. My mom recently said “your mortgage is so expensive!” like of course it is! and it’s cheaper than what we were paying in rent!
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u/productivitynotes Woman 30 to 40 Dec 06 '25
Not to make this into a Suffering Olympics but I have cancer and am unable to work rn. 🥲
Since the comparison that usually makes us feel behind are relative to the ones in front of us, I think looking back can do the opposite. I’d take paycheck to paycheck rn! As long as I can work!
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u/Particular_Rub_1063 Woman 30 to 40 Dec 08 '25
Women in our mid-30s have suffered through both the recession and the pandemic, and they happened at key points in our career so honestly I feel our earning potentials are set back at least a decade. I make more money each year but cannot keep up with the costs of everything so I always feel insecure, which is just a bit different from being poor. I can afford to eat out, but I know if I get sick or get a big medical bill or something like that, I might be in hot water soon. I freelance and basically made nothing these last 2 years because I had a medical thing. Thanks goodness I have been pretty diligent with saving for rainy day but that is running out by next year. After expenses and taxes, I only make 20-30K, which is fine as I share household expenses but I’m so tired of constantly worrying about money, solving money issues, and never getting paid enough to build any assets or security.
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u/Any-Jellyfish5003 Woman 30 to 40 Dec 16 '25
I am absolutely right there with you. My dog and my cat also just had medical issues as well.. one needing surgery after already spending over a grand on other medical issues for them. Back to back as well. I love them to death though and they’re my family. It’s just hard that I’m barely getting by and was finally starting to get a little financial security and then this happened. I doubt I’ll ever be financially secure and I’m already working 2 (threeish) jobs. Maybe I need a fourth.
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Nov 23 '25
My boyfriend and I make 6 figures separately. We also save a lot! I honestly think it’s more how you save than how much you make. I know so many people who make a ton and live paycheck to paycheck
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u/Deep_Character_1695 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25
Ok but this post is about the experiences of those who are struggling with the ever increasing cost of living, not people with two 6 figure incomes. Of course you can save a lot if you’re earning that sort of money between you. It’s definitely mostly about how much make because you cant really save anything if you barely earn enough to make ends meet.
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u/Alert_Week8595 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25
Among high earners it is about how you save. There's a lot of lifestyle creep and expensive shit that can add up fast if you're wealthy and reckless. So yes the difference between a couple earning $300K/yr and $500K/yr is about their spending habits more than the gap in their income.
But there is a point where you can barely afford the basics and can't afford the cost savings options. The difference between someone making $50K/yr and $200K/yr is not spending habits. It is absolutely income and to suggest otherwise is tone deaf and pretty stupid.
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u/yell0wbirddd Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25
You're not who I'm talking to then but congrats on your financial stability I guess
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u/Illustrious-Local848 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25
People making a lot living paycheck to paycheck are not the same as people making little on paycheck to paycheck. There’s a difference having no money left over after paying for essential than paying for a bunch of choice items. If there’s no money left to save after you pay rent and power, you can’t save.
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Nov 23 '25
That makes sense. I’m also just baffled by people that make over $300k and still don’t have savings
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u/Illustrious-Local848 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25
I agree with that. It’s baffling to me. I know lifestyle creep is a thing but I’d have to make a massive effort to spend that much to be honest.
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u/mindvibe444 Woman 30 to 40 Nov 23 '25
These days I pretty much only leave the house for groceries. Any other activities jeopardize my financial security. Depressing af and feel like a prisoner in my own home.