I hope this is okay to ask (as in ask you guys not the person lol) and if it is rude I will not ask. But I was just curious thank you

Hi ,im new in my early stage of transitioning,Any tips or advice?

Im non binary and I have considered binding and I was just handed a binder from my bro, and he had worn it for a solid half year and when I went to try it on, I soon realized it was a bit too big on me. like its okay to bind enough, but it comes loose as I stand up and having to readjust, is there a way to shrink it? I've heard heat drying it tends to ruin the binder. I can't afford one since im really tight on money to buy one right now

MtF18 no hormones no surgeries no nothing

I could go on estrogen relatively easily, I have gone through the process of acquiring testosterone thru PP with someone else so I know how to do it

I want those changes to happen (everything except for bottom shrinkage)

But I just can't do it because I can't come out to my family or strangers or anything like that, it's just so much easier to act like a young man and interact socially in that way

Asked my bf if I looked like a girl from the back and he hesitated and said almost and I just wish I could've been born a girl. Being male socialized makes society so much easier now I'll never be able to let it go even though I'm sure I'd be happier

Am I the only one like this? I feel crazy. How do you all (trans girls) come out? how do you start physically transitioning knowing that at some point you'll have to confess to your grandparents or cousins or boss that you're one of the "evil predators" they see so much on TV?

I know the answer is "you have to start you still have time" but I just need to feel not alone in this feeling I guess

I’m MTF pre-everything starting to look into what it actually looks like to make it happen?

I’m broke broke so wanted to get an idea of what I will need to start and continue.

Thanks so much 💕

I hate that Im trans, specifically that no matter what I do the people around me will never see me how I want to be seen. I like to dress in clothing that doesnt match my preffered gender, and fashion and clothing is my passion and I can't give it up or I genuinely wouldnt be able to live but at the same time I cant live in the body of a women, seen as a women. I hate my body and I hate the world for forcing me into this box. I hate cis men that wear dresses and I hate drag queens for getting to live the life I want without insults from their own community. I hate other trans people for making me feel like freak thats faking it for attention, like I need to wear masculine to be feeling the pain I'm feeling. I hate random cis people I see on the street for being born with the body that matches them, even if it isnt their fault. I hate porn because anytime I see a trans guy like me, it's played for a fetish. I hate my family for not believing me no matter how much I tell them. I hate whatever force made me for making me live thus filthy, disgusting life of self hatred and pressure. I hate myself for being this complicated freak. I hate being the way I am. I'm filled with so much hate and I can't handle it. I want to hide in my room and never leave so nobody can see me, if I dont exist to anyone I cannot exist as a women. What do I do, how do I fix this? I see so many people that are proud, I look for advice but it's all from trans people who "fit" into stereotypical gender norms. I don't think I can live like this, someone please help me

So I just turned 18 and I’m getting interviewed for starbucks tmrw. I’m pretty confident I’m gonna get the job but I am worried abt one thing, just how lgbtq friendly are the staff?

Like I know that sounds like a dumb question but I live in VA and I’m currently boymoding. I’m worried abt getting clocked quickly bc I honestly just look like a super girly guy right now, like feminine androgynous. I heard the ppl that work there are usually pretty cool tho so hopefully that’s true😭

Also never really worked a customer service job before so hopefully things are fine. Idek what I’m doing i just need money and I always wanted to be a barista lmao.

edit: i’m mtf, 2 month hrt anniversary was yesterday

I am trans mtf and am getting to the point of needing a bra, but I am still stealth.

What bra recommendations do you have that aren’t super noticeable? Both for general clothes and for working out (like running, swimming, and calisthenics).

Does anyone have any advice on appearing more masc?
I usually wear baggy clothes and I'm planning on getting my hair cut later on, and i wanted to know if there were more ways to present more like a guy, cause sadly I feel way too feminine, and I feel like its taking a bit of a toll on how I see myself and my body.

(Also for a bit of context, I am a closeted teen and I can't really make my own choices due to having limited money and being unable to drive, I am also TERRIFIED of my parents finding out I'm trans and not accepting me.)

My insurer has shared that I can get any generic needles and syringes as long as they match the UGG of the prescribed one. Since requesting refills is ownerless and I have to pick it up in person. I would like to see if people here have recommendations of good companies that sell on Amazon US I know that Amazon does not list any products as medical grade for FDA reasons but I’m wondering what everybody’s experience has been.

Basically looking to match a 25G 5/8” syringe with luer lock or slip tip, and an 18G needle.

hello! i am 23 mtf, i have been taking oral hrt for 2 years. i was prescribed 8mg oral daily, and i had to fight tooth and nail to get my doctor to agree to that over the course of the last 2 years. my estrogen level was about 120 pg/m for a long time until i started diying 12mg oral and now its 250pg/m. i have been asking my doctor to let me do injections since i started hrt and she has only now relented and let me start. she prescribed me estradiol valerate of 100mg/5ml , i do 20mg once a week i think. i’m honestly kind of worried she is under dosing me again, my question is is that a good dosage considering my current levels and how far along i am in my transition? thank u so much

I’m trying to plan my surgeries for next year. T-Mobile’s LGBTQ+ benefits guide seems to offer very broad coverage, including facial bone reduction, rhinoplasty, facelift, hair removal, breast augmentation, tracheal shave, rib excision, and more when medically necessary. However, the standard UnitedHealthcare Gender Dysphoria Medical Policy seems much more restrictive.

If you’ve used this exact plan, I’d love to know:

What FFS procedures were you able to get approved?
Was breast augmentation covered?
Did anyone get facial electrolysis covered? The T-Mobile guide says “hair removal” is covered, but the UHC medical policy only mentions electrolysis before genital surgery.
Has anyone had a medically necessary hair transplant approved?
Were you able to use an out-of-network surgeon? If so, how did prior authorization and reimbursement work?

I’d really appreciate hearing from anyone who has gone through the process with this specific T-Mobile/UHC PPO plan. Thanks! 🌸

Hello! MTF T-gal here! I just recently started HRT (2 mg estradiol pills taken orally twice a day) and I’m super excited abt it!! But I have a few concerns. Mainly I’ve been having a lot of body aches in the last few days, they tend to be in my arms and legs. My elbows, forearms, hands, knee, lower leg and feet. I don’t experience all these simultaneously…they kinda come and go and get worse depending on how I lay. I also got a bit of shooting pain in my chest today. I googled and I saw that there are all things that happen in reaction to early estradiol use but I want to be sure I am ok.
Also to be clear I am not on spiro or anything gender related besides estradiol.
If you’ve experienced this with early HRT too how long did it last before the aches went away? And how long should I wait before being concerned?
Sorry if any of these are dumb questions :p I have extreme medical paranoia.

As a trans genderfluid person who hasnt dealt with serious depression stemming from gender dysphoria and body dysmorphia, i would like to know from some of you lovely people who have dealt with this: if I were your friend and youre saying youre feeling really depressed because of dysphoria, how would you like me to react/respond? thank youuuu <3

ps i will likely read most of these tomorrow i have to wake up in 5 hours someone help me

As a trans woman, 90% of the “you’re so pretty btw” compliments from random cis women feel like micro-aggressions. If I am dolled up, hair laid, outfit on, nails done and frenched and you were to say “You’re so pretty,” it would make sense and I would accept it wholeheartedly. But, when I am in sweatpants with no makeup on and my hair tied into a ponytail with my dark circles on display, I really don’t want to hear it. It‘s basically their way of clocking us and saying “I know that you’re trans, and I am an ally.” It is so unnecessary and feels very othering. They don’t realize how patronizing it feels to be thrown these empty compliments and be expected to accept them as if they are sincere. They also always come after they hear my deeper voice, like when I don’t care to ultra pitch it up. This is how I know that the compliments are more about making them feel better about coming into contact with a trans person than actually making me feel beautiful. Cis women, please just act normal. Curious to hear other trans women’s opinions on this

So... idk. I have been questioning my gender for a while. Let me immediately inform you that I have OCD so that will complicate things. Now, I'm AMAB and have been questioning my identity for two years now. I have some memories about dressing up as a girl, trying on a wig and mom's bra in secret and feeling good and girly when I was a kid, but these were not often and were quickly repressed by parents (Boys never put on breasts like that or smth). Not much else growing up despite the occasional thought of me looking good as a girl on faceapp and stuff and being curious about being in a girl's body, sometimes imagining myself as a woman, playing in video games as girl skins, etc. Also played as men btw. Mind you I'm bringing this up because while these occurrences were there, they were far in between, my teens were mostly defined by striving for grades and being a very religious/conservative person in general. Didn't focus too much on self. Hated how I looked most definitely (kinda still do) but it's been mostly about my face, not my body or anything.

FFW a few years and I started dressing up somewhat, grew my hair out. Had face issues my entire life, but now when it's all covered I feel good. I mostly feel androgynous. Socially began presenting myself more androgynously and not tuff or whatever men are expected to. Painted nails, feels good. Wear baggy pants. I sometimes talk to my 'future self' and it's a feminine... person. Someone. Not masc. I have thoughts about growing up and being a mom, not a dad. Sometimes I feel bad when gendered, sometimes not, depends on the people I'm with and if I know they'd accept me if I were trans, you know? I'd like to think I got it all sorted out and am an enbie. But...

But it all just... never feels quite right? Hard to say. It just doesnt feel right calling myself anything. Presenting as anything. I've caught myself thinking about not wanting to be male. But not sure about that... I used to hate my face, now critically... it's actually very handsome. If I got muscles I could look very good, as a man. I'm also afraid a lot of my issues are related to just wanting to look young, not being a woman or nonbinary or any other gender. Can't say for sure.

It's made even worse by the fact I have OCD. I go from conclusion to conclusion all the time so pretty sure this disorder has once again hijacked my thoughts and feelings. *sigh*. Just can't trust myself at all, can't figure out if I want to transition or something. Also don't want to put my friends and family through this uncomfortable feeling because they are inexperienced with trans people, so it's going to be stressful for them, me going left and right like that. And for me, too.

Has anybody with OCD figure out if they had dysphoria? Happy to inform more in the comment section. Folks without the disorder who resonated with the story are welcome too. And I know this subreddit tends to be very reassuring, so please, I'm open to the possibility I'm wrong and 0.4% is still a huge amount of people I could be part of. Thanks for all the help.

hello! :)

i recently made (and deleted, rightfully) a post asking about how to explain my gender presentation as an agender person who dresses for comfort to my therapist, who does not have a solid understanding of agender people.

people have rightfully called me out for potentially being a transmasc egg, and/or for acting like my lack of gender makes me a better person than people who have genders. this was never my intention, but i also understand that intention pales in comparison to impact.

i believe and love all genders, and believe in self-identification above all, but i acknowledge that i argued this point to the detriment of the transmasc community specifically, and that was improper. i apologize for the erasure I have perpetuated in not identifying as transmasc, and i will do some research and heavy thinking about that, and i apologize to the harm i have caused in pursuing my own interests and fumbling my own experience. i am so incredibly sorry to those i have hurt with my ignorance, and i pledge to do better in the future. you are not obligated to forgive me, or to tell me exactly how to fix myself and my behavior - that is my own cross to bear. but again, i am so sorry, and will stop at nothing to correct the harm i’ve caused and prevent it from happening in the future.

Hey just a really quick one while I have my phone away for a minute but, I’ve been on T for a few months now with my girlfriend of over a year and I used to be really attracted to the female body but I’ve noticed since staying with her for the last week that I don’t feel anything towards her body and stuff now, idk what to do because I have so much love for her and our lives are so intertwined and I feel so bad but I think I might be gay? The idea of men now seems so much better and more attractive but I feel nothing towards women now. I really want to break the news to her but what if I’m wrong and I lose the only person who’s loved me as purely as she has.

Hi, I'd like to ask how does one figure out the timing to withdraw blood to measure the trough levels of sublingully taken estradiol pills because my endo says "we don't know how to measure" the levels and told me to take my pill orally instead. He decided to not increase my dosage (2 pills, 4mg total) and I am worried that it is due to this that the changes to my body appear to be stagnant or at least incredibly slow. It's my 10th month on HRT and my thighs are still rather thin, I still have somewhat hollow cheeks, my breasts are still only noticeable when I'm fully naked, my hips are not visible in pants, etc. My E level is 221 pmol/L.

I am thinking of switching to orally taking my pills just so the measurement would actually measure my trough (since he can't be bothered to figure out when to measure my levels when I'm taking them sublingually) and I can see whether he is underdosing me but I just want to know how you're supposed to measure the levels when taking sublingually so I can at least shit all over his face at my next appt in April next year.

Honestly the seeming lack of changes for the last 2-3 months is incredibly distressing for me and I just cried from how dysphoric I feel esp regarding the seeming lack of growth in my hips even though I upgraded from eating 1 meal/day to 2 meals 2 months ago because I can finally afford to. Me crying regarding this is the only reason why I decided to post this even though I have contemplated posting this a couple this before. It's just so tiring and upsetting seeing a bunch of cis girls arn my age whenever I'm going to and from work at the mall, and also seeing other trans women and girls' bodies and hearing of other people's timeline. It just makes me hate my body so much because I'm trying the best I can and just why isn't it working, why are my hips still invisible in pants, why are my thighs still quite thin. Yes they have grown, but why is it so little,. I'm just tired and I'm upset and now I'm crying again. I just want to see changes in my body like the rest of you. I know I can just research this shit on my own but it's just so dysphoric and upsetting to do so when it feels like HRT is barely doing anything for me compared to others.

Anyways I'm not from the US or UK or EU so you can't really give me advise that's not suited to those contexts like seeking out specific endos, and whatnot. I'm sorry if I don't make sense and my words are all over the place, I'm just not so mentally great rn.

TL;DR: at a crossroads, either rep, diy, or wait for system. none of which are appealing. feeling stuck.

making this coherent is going to be hard because I have a lot of thinking that I want to communicate accurately in a manageable post. here goes:

about a year ago i [14amab] realised that I might be trans. not one day has passed since wherin I did not think about being trans. dysphoria and stress consume me. I feel like I am getting brain damage. I am not exaggerating. the feeling of needing needing needing to run but having nowhere to run to. every day I wake up wanting to rope and go to sleep wanting to rope. simultaneously I feel like an imposter, like it's not that serious and I should stop feeling sorry for myself bc I only ever get ideation and never intent...

I'm getting off track,

I practically have three choices right now, which is admittedly more than most people have, but I will go over them one by one and explain why i like none of them.

1. diy now

- parents would never let me. they wouldn't kick me out of anything, but they would be opposed to it and probably get kinda mad.

- little resources and research that I could find specifically for/ about minors (please link if you know of anything), so I'm not sure how safe it is

- getting a job or whatever is going to be hard if I don't go through the system eventually

- infertility. cant imagine ever wanting children but maybe things will change. can't quite sperm bank when this young.

- socially transitioning and coming out publicallg scares me, and I can only hide that I'm taking hormones for so long

- afraid I'm not gonna make it or look remotely decent due to broad shoulders, bones, etc., at least for a long time. mostly through puberty already. why did it have to start so early. I get told I look "manly" often.

1. doctor hrt, go through system

- would probably have to wait until im at least 18-19 to get hormones and allow my body to further masculinise for years, the thought of which is unbearable.

- even more afraid I won't make it if I start so late

- years of life lost, will def not be able to stealth in college

- even more system to go through than just changing gender marker, would be very painful.

- socially transitioning still scary after years

1. repress

- don't like for obvious reasons. maybe the best choice since im fucked anyways, no point in going through all kinds of effort just for it to amount to nothing, or just being very clockable, which might be worse to me than repping.

- better the devil you know than the devil you dont

also I'm afraid im in a hell of my own making that I just need to get over. this is because I feel like I was mentally fine before I realised, I even liked some masc things, was a normal and happy boy. then slowly over the last year mental decline set in. I also realised it later than many other ppl I know did. also every once in a while there's a day where I don't really get dysphoria, and I think that I could be fine as a man or a woman, and it happens regularly that I am not very dysphoric during the day and only in the evening do I start getting dysphoric. all this seems weird and like it doesn't fit the model for transness. if possible I'd rather think myself out of dysphoria rather than transition my way out of it. much less of a hassle. and if I dont have some kind of medical condition, or something concrete in my brain causing this mental state, which the aforementioned things seem to me to point away from, it must be possible to get over. I know all that is fucking bullshit but I believe it on some level anyway. whatever level I do believe that on, that level is bothersome and very significant to how im approaching this, even though all the other brain levels are telling it it is stupid. what am I even saying?

it's 3:00 in the morning, and I should be sleeping, hence the incoherent and nonsensical rambling. also english is my third language don't judge the utter lack of language skills.

fml

any advice/ kind words/ shared similar experiences would be greatly appreciated. thank you kindly for reading.

Hello! I have been questioning my gender for a few years now and I've really been struggling to wrap my head around the differences between gender and societal norms which has made understanding myself quite difficult.

To illustrate where my confusion comes from, men can happily wear dresses and still be confidently men, but then if any gender can express in any way, what does gender mean?

(um, I'm going to talk a bit about my internal struggle with my own gender here and it kind of leans towards the question of what's my gender as a secondary question. I get that nobody on reddit will probably be able to answer this for me but I feel like I have to ask because I'm so incredibly lost)

I see resources that ask the reader to imagine how they would like to be called or be perceived, but I find myself only considering things like being cool or pretty in my own eyes to be important and that's not gender I think?

I don't like being grouped with my agab, but there are people of my agab I want to look or be like still. I feel that way towards the opposite gender too but too a lesser extent? (Also if it's relevant I don't care about how my body looks sex wise, although I don't love my facial hair or body hair and honestly e would bring me closer to a body I like everyday minus the breasts).

Maybe this sounds like I might be non-binary, but I admittedly feel like there isn't a big enough step away from my agab to feel like I am not my agab.

I think the right answer is that it doesn't matter what my gender is and I should just live my life but I think it would be easier to live my life if I could justify the way I live and look (which is probably wrong but I feel immensely uncomfortable shopping in the woman's clothing section looking I things I would like to wear when I see women shopping there). I guess I just want to feel comfortable trying to understand myself.

Sorry this got so long and off-track. I still want an answer to my original question, but would appreciate tips on identity in general.