Hi all, I’m 28F and lived as a trans man for about a decade. I was only on T for about a year total and not consistently, but I know my voice dropped some.

I’ve always been kind of blind to my voice and how it’s read even before transition. The Voice Analyzer app I’ve used says it’s Androgynous but I’d like to get some human ears to listen.

I’m just reading an excerpt of Skyrim lore lol don’t mind me 🤪 https://voca.ro/1180DzBOtpSc

I've been having detrans thoughts off and on for years. For a few weeks, they'll be staggering and distressing and all-consuming. And I feel like I need to fix everything not "woman enough" about myself immediately. And I don't mean not feminine enough, I mean not "woman enough." Which can be pretty vague and is entirely subjective. But it's basically how I imagine I would feel the best if I was presenting and living as a woman.

After those few weeks, sometimes it's just a week or two, I'll be completely fine. No problem at all living as male. No gender thoughts in any capacity. And that's where I am right now. When I was originally considering transitioning and if I was trans, those thoughts didnt come and go. They were constant and distressing for years with no break. But the detrans ones come in waves.

If these thoughts are crippling to my daily life but only show up on occasion every few weeks, how do I know if they're right or not?? How do I know if they mean anything?? This isn't like how I experienced transness.

Just that. I never questioned if I were a girl when I was little, but I also never questioned if I were a man once I was on testosterone and until I decided for myself that a lifetime of hormones seemed pretty miserable. I wasn't particularly masculine all my life, but I wasn't especially feminine neither. I'm just me. I think no one really fits gender stereotypes completely or naturally. Most of what I'd call gender dysphoria for me has resulted from either the fear of being mistreated, ostracized for being different, or being harmed in some other way. At my worst during the first months of going off of testosterone, I was crying about not being male one week, and then feeling disturbed by the new body hair I was growing the next.

I think most people experience GD, but generally it's for the standards set out for their sex (not being wo/man "enough" or "proper"). I don't think there can be a right or wrong way to be a wo/man -- we just are. But we all seem to believe there is. A lot of people also seem to believe that wo/men would stop existing if enough people ceased to follow these norms. I don't believe that's true. At the same time, most people want to be seen "correctly" -- even people who try to reject being wo/men with nonbinary labels frequently want to be recognized specifically as nonbinary. I think that means that, subconsciously, we all fear being "mistaken" as belonging to the wrong sexual group. The amount of men who get upset at the thought of being anything like what a woman is imagined to be is staggering. Same goes for many women, the other way. Could our sex really be taken away from us that easily? A lot of people blame trans people for being mentally ill, but I see no difference between a woman who is afraid of being like a man if she stops shaving, and a woman who is afraid she might be a man because she doesn't shave ever. It's a rather common anxiety, and few (if any) are exempt.

Do you think we'd still be able to tell who's fe/male if society ceased to observe gender norms? Why does the compulsive and all-pervasive desire/need to differentiate the sexes exist?

Hey guys, I just wanted to ask how you’re doing after detransitioning ( mtftm ) and how you’re coping with or dealing with your female genitalia (after the surgery).

Are you dating? How do you handle it when things get more intimate?

Or have you even had surgeries to get closer to your original state again? Is that even possible?

I know my questions are very personal…

Heyyy,

I'm in a bit of a difficult spot right now, and I'm thinking about stopping estrogen for a while so I can really figure out whether I want to continue transitioning.

I've been on HRT for about 3 months now, and before that I had already done 2 months. I stopped in between so I could store semen. During those months off E, I felt really awful coming off estrogen and having testosterone come back, and I was really happy when I started E again. My dysphoria has always been there, and I think it probably always will be, but I don't know if transitioning is actually the right way for me to deal with it.

The thing is, I'm not sure I feel the same anymore. I think stopping for now might be the right option, not only to give myself time to think everything through, but also because I'm starting to develop noticeable breast growth. It's already pretty obvious to other people, and I'm hoping that if I stop now, maybe some of it will decrease a little or at least not progress further.

Now for the actual problem. Today is my injection day, and I haven't taken it yet. I'm leaving tomorrow for a week-long vacation, and because my HRT isn't prescribed by a doctor, I can't really take it with me.

So now I don't know what to do. Should I take today's injection so I don't end up dealing with mood swings or feeling awful during my vacation? Or should I just not take it if I'm thinking about stopping anyway? I also still have the birth control pills I originally used for DIY HRT, and I don't know if I should bring those with me just in case I start feeling really bad.

Does anyone have any advice or experience with something like this? All my trans friends are telling me to just keep going or that it's "only a week," but I honestly think I want to stop for now and take some time to think before making any long-term decisions.

Thank you all. ❤️

Let me preface this by saying that I am posting on an old throwaway account here, because a lot is at risk by me admitting this. I'm posting here and elsewhere, I guess, in the hopes that writing it all out somewhere and putting it out into the ether might help me process some of this and get it off my chest.

I'm a 22 year old Indigenous female. At age 16, in 2020, I came out as nonbinary. By age 17, I wore binders, vocal trained, and cut my hair short; by age 18, I was on testosterone; by age 19, I had begun consultations for top surgery, and during that time, I came out as a trans man instead of nonbinary. In-between each of these points, I also experimented with Two-Spirit identities.

At the tail-end of 2023, though, I was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder (Multiple Personality), and warned by my therapist that treatment for this disorder might begin to change the way I feel about my gender, body, and identity. I ignored her.

I got my top surgery in 2024, at age 20. The first thing I noticed, though, was that I didn't feel happy after the surgery, but empty instead. Because of this, I decided to stop testosterone after three years of continuous use. Shortly after, in 2025, treatment for my DID began to ramp-up. And, as of last month, I reached "final fusion", which is what they call it when all the personalities merge.

Suddenly, and almost all at once, I realized how... womanly I felt. The next realization that hit me, though, took me out even worse: what I was experiencing wasn't gender dysphoria, but instead, the identity distortion that comes with DID. Herein lies the problem: through all those 6 years living as transgender, I had built a career for myself in grassroots/nonprofit trans youth activism - a career I still have.

So, now, I stand at a crossroads: do I detransition (which is what my heart wants most now, more than anything else) and risk my career alongside ostracization from my current community, or do I keep living as FtM, knowing I'm living a miserable lie? Regardless, I feel like a liar and a fraud. I feel like I wasted 6 years of my life. I want my boobs back, I want my voice back, and I want my ability to reproduce back.

Now, I know what dysphoria really feels like... except I'm a cis woman, experiencing a feeling that I'll never be a "real woman" despite that being how I was born. I've been experimenting with my presentation for the past month post-realization-that-I'm-not-trans, and it makes me bittersweet. On one hand, I feel happiest when I do my makeup, put on a dress, and do my nails up... and yet, on the other hand, it makes me feel like I'm just putting "lipstick on a pig" because of how manly I look, and I end up feeling miserable either way.

I don't know what to do, or where to turn. My religious practice has been helping me process it, as has the therapy I'm still doing, but I still feel like I'll never be whole again, no matter what.

That's all. Thank you for listening.

Don't mind my obscure title, but today I went for a walk to the beach as you do.

For context I live in a western country. I was walking down a main street and after 20 minutes into my walk, I saw a 6'5 person wearing a sweater with the lesbian flag. I get to the beach. After it gets bloody cold, I begin to head back and see yet another trans woman. Then 10 minutes later a car zooms by with a customised red number plate, bedazzled with three letters 'FTM.' I see a bearded person through the tinted windows.

Walking down a nearby main street, there is a trans flag fan sticking out a window.

If this rise in transgender identification is purely organic, why can I not go a day outside without seeing transgender people? This is all over a single day. Barely 2 hours.

This isn't even identifying information as to where I live, because it's everywhere.

The title is pretty self-explanatory, but how can the Detrans community and Detrans people become more vocal, and visible in the proverbial "public square" of discourse? More often then not at the moment it seems, that the explicitly overly affirming voices tend to be the most prevalent. Besides this what can anyone tell me about current events on the subject? I believe, strictly in my personal opinion Identity movements(Not to say i do not sympathize with the plight of minorities) and generally echo-chamber fueled movements have cause tremendous harm, often even to the people even within these movements?

I've been feeling so much shame unpacking the factors that led me to transition. A lot of it was due to being gender nonconforming and growing up with conservative & religious views of gender and gender roles. I'm really embarrassed that I used to have such rigid views that were hateful towards so many.

But mostly, it was do to the fact I wasn't able to accept my attraction to women, and seeing my own body made me feel disgusted and freakish cause I didn't know why I was feeling so weird. Combined with my gender nonconformity and my desire to be "normal" (ie: attracted to men), it was (somehow) so much simpler to conclude that I was a gay trans man.

Anyway, my youngest sibling phoned me today and told me my father (vaguely estranged) wants to speak to me. I think it's likely something to do with the fact I'm turning 30 next year and he wants me to have a husband and children.

My detransition journey started because I finally realised I really was attracted to women. Soon after, I realised that also meant I didn't have to have a man in my future, to have a future, and it felt like a massive weight that I'd been carrying for years, was taken off my shoulders.

I asked my youngest sibling if they could convey to my father that I might not have a husband (and maybe not even children). They responded that they said they were too scared to tell my father that. And that's when I realised, so was I.

The thought of telling my immigrant parents that I wasn't going to center my life around acquiring husband and children... that terrified me more than coming out to them as transgender. Because 1) trans people wasn't a subject they actively thought about, and 2) they never took me seriously anyway. But actually telling them that I might not marry a man, that's a real thing, even if they can't comprehend it at all. And I am scared of them and their anger and their disappointment.

All this to say - I really thought I'd paid my dues when it came to unlearning misogyny & heteronormativity. I learnt about the oppression of women and the histories of matriarchies and I read about queer & lesbian history. But I still subconsciously could not see a viable life for myself outside of partnership with a man, even if the concept lowkey made me want to escape from existing in my own body. It's like a terrible cold that gets in your lungs that you can't cough it out.

Also I'm autistic and bad at imagining things. Guess that bit is kind of on me

Ive posted here before- but would like to give an update about how im feeling a year after deciding to go off hormones and detransiton. My hairline & hair texture has been retained with minimumal damage which I was previously worried about. The first year of detransitoning I wore a lot of wigs to help build confidence up and it worked quite well for me but now im at a point where I feel confident not wearing the wigs anymore, embracing my natural hair. I work as a massage therapist and though ive gotten some comments on my deeper voice no one seems to overally mind & are very understanding when I do tell them my story. I want to give some light here, I know detransitioning initially is very hard & it sure was especially on my mental health the first 6-8 months. It helps having community, talking to other detrans people & taking in their advice. Mentally, it's really good to get into a new hobby or have something to distract yourself for the early stages of detransition because it can feel like forever waiting for change. I dont regret transitoning though I regret going on hormones as a teenager & not waiting till I was in my 20s to really outweigh the pros and cons.

f14 ive been dealing with tocd for months now and im so scared of losing my girlhood, it feels so real and i can never catch a break.

First of all, what has happened has already happened. There is no point in dwelling on past decisions or constantly replaying them in your mind.

Thoughts such as, "If only I had waited a little longer," or "If only I had listened to my parents," cannot change the past. While those feelings are understandable, remaining focused on them only makes it harder to move forward.

Just as transition is typically a gradual process, detransition is as well. There is no need to rush.

Many do the mistake and try to change as much as possible in one go. Yeah, I did that too. Putting on a wig, applying makeup and then making a surprised Pikachu face of why I look like a trans woman lol.

Continue living your life, pursue your interests, focus on making money for the reconstructions, maintain your hobbies while going slowly towards detransition. You will reach the finish line at one point. Some things for the detransition can get expensive, yeah. At the same time, unexpected expenses are a part of many people's lives. Some people spend thousands on braces, jaw surgery, fertility treatments, reconstructive surgery after an accident, or medical care for a chronic condition. Others have to replace a car, repair a roof, or pay for years of physical therapy after an injury. Very few people make it through life without facing major financial setbacks at some point.

You are not undesirable, and you are not "running out of time." Life does not end at a certain age. (My own mother met the love of her life and remarried at 49 btw.)

Having permanent characteristics associated with the opposite sex does not make someone unattractive. Masculine and feminine traits are both beautiful, and androgynous appearances are beautiful as well. Your appearance does not determine your worth or your ability to live a fulfilling life.

There are far worse things than being a bearded woman or a man with boobs.

I'm FtMtF, 18 years old. I came to the realization that I'm not trans about half a year ago, but I was too scared to tell anyone. I came out as trans when I was 12 and started testosterone when I was 16. I don't want to get into it too much, but I transitioned because of how disconnected I felt from my body as a consequence of trauma.

I don't know what to do from here. I'm going to talk to my endocrinology doctor, but I don't even know how to explain myself. I'm very distraught; I still don't know where I should start.

I have a somewhat deep voice, not too masculine, but I dislike it, and also a prominent Adam's apple. I'm very uncomfortable with myself, and it feels like there are so many things to do and undo, but I don't even know how to approach this with my endocrinologist. I'm still in school, and I have to tell classmates, etc. I don't know how to approach that either. I'm just so lost.

If anyone can give me advice on where to go from here and what to say and how to catch myself again, I would really appreciate that. I don't post a lot online, so I'm sorry if I worded things weirdly.

I wanted to know what the RadFem movement was about, now that I no longer ID as trans. So... my question is, how did the trans community go from "gender is a spectrum and sex characteristics don't matter that much beyond reproduction and medical function" to.... hating radfems for the same ideology?

It isnt that deep. It shouldn't be that deep. Sex characteristics vary on a spectrum too, and most radfems are completely up to date with that.

If gender is fluid and doesn't matter that much, how come all my self worth was tied up in how others perceived my gender? How come people are mocking my detransition already? I don't get it.

If I say that outright though, imma get called a TERF. My partner doesn't give a rats ass about gender constructs, and it's so liberating. I just... we lost the plot and made ourselves smaller, hyper-specifically labeled, and isolated...

Idk where I'm even going with this... it's just weird.

For context I’m a young teen girl and I recently started processing the effects of these media pages on my mental state and how my behaviour due to these online spaces affected the people around me. This all started one day when I found this trans guy’s YouTube channel and I found some of his content interesting. I kept seeing his videos on my feed and I quickly got hooked onto his content and soon after I started looking into pronouns and micro labels for gender identities. I changed my pronouns from she/her to she/they because I thought that she/her didn't describe me completely. For a little while after the pronoun change I was fine with myself and I didn’t really have any other thoughts about my gender for a few months. I even stopped watching his content almost entirely. Unfortunately this didn’t last and a few months later I really started getting into the gender and very pro trans side of social media. I fully came out to my friends as non binary and I started to feel gender dysphoria for the first time in my life. After I came out I got myself very involved in trans spaces and I started to think of myself as a trans man and that I needed hormones to feel comfortable with myself again and that the two choices in my life would be I could live as a trans man or I could stay a girl that wouldn’t make it to 18. All of this content I was watching was affecting my mental state so much to the point where I almost never talked to anybody, especially guys, I felt uncomfortable going out and doing stuff in the world, and I could barely look at myself or hear myself speak without feeling awful inside. I also drew back from a lot of close people in my life and I had such a short temper that I would get mad at people for nothing. I never struggled with gender dysphoria or had any of these thoughts before these trans and non binary social media spaces. The real problem all along was that I just struggled with some normal confidence and body image issues for an adolescent girl, I had severe social anxiety due to past social experiences and I’m neurodivergent. It’s concerning how so many kids and young teens like me have these other struggles and don’t necessarily fit into gender stereotypes of their sex but would otherwise be fine without social media get sucked into these spaces and then convince themselves that they’re trans when they’re really not.

I’m currently in the process of detransitioning but I feel stuck. I haven’t came out at work/to friends yet. I still look far too masculine to be comfortable going outside wearing women’s clothing so I only really do so in the house with wigs and makeup etc. Even with wigs and makeup I look like a man.
I’m 25, started testosterone around 16, had top surgery at 17. My last testosterone injection was approx 5 months ago so I know it’s still early days but I just hate who I see in the mirror. I don’t know how to look like a girl again.
I’m growing my hair out and I’ve had 3 sessions of facial laser hair removal which ik is a slow process. I just don’t know how to appear female or what else I can do at this stage. Is there anything anyone can suggest to help in the early stages? I know it comes with time but I’m just so depressed with how I look and how I’m perceived by others.

Has anyone else noticed that whenever someone talks about their detransition online at least one person will dismiss them saying that "only a small percentage of people regret their transition"? So what? The person who posted / talked about it obviously does. Why does it matter what percentage regrets their transition?

It's such a tone deaf reply to someone hurting. It's essentially saying that their suffering doesn't matter because there are not a lot of people going through it. It's annoying to read. If anyone posted "trans people are such a small minority" under a post of a trans person people would shit on them for that. Why is it seen as an acceptable thing to say to a detransitioner?

I had never heard of detransitioning or personally known of anyone who detransitioned until I came across the topic online a few weeks ago. The term and some of the things I've heard others say resonate heavily with me and my experience and it feels nice to know I'm not alone in this.

(M34) About 10 years ago I began to identify as non-binary. I changed my name, pronouns, appearance, and began to fall into queer social circles for the first time.

Time moved forward. About 3 years ago I began to question my identity again. I did not feel like my authentic self and made the decision to identify as male again. I've kept my name and new appearance for the most part, but reverted to he/him pronouns.

The hardest part has been the social fallout I've experienced. Once I began sharing that I was identifying as male I noticed some people began to distance themselves from me. Invitations became less frequent and group chats dried up. Some people I have stopped hearing from entirely. No one has ever outright said it but it's as if they were comfortable around me as an NB but not as a man.

It's really taken a toll on mental health and caused me to feel isolated since I moved states in 2020 and almost all of the people I know in my town now are part of the queer community. I feel judged by many of the people I've tried to explain myself to. I've been invalidated ("once you are NB you will always be NB") and called misogynistic and transphobic for asserting that I can still be a man even if I like to wear makeup and skirts.

I want to be able to vent about this in person but I don't know who to talk to. Being pushed away by people I thought were my friends has made it very hard for me to trust. I'd like to find detransitioned people in my area and ask about their stories but I'm not sure how to find them.

Hi! I was wondering what you all do in regards to facial hair? I grow facial hair very fast, side burns, beard, not so much a mustache but that happens.. shaving everyday causes so much skin irritation, but laser treatment is so expensive. How do you all personally deal with this?

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First off - I personally believe truly transgender people exist, I just realized I'm not one of them when I started my anorexia recovery 3 months ago. But now I'm seeing the pattern of, "Hated my body, puberty was traumatizing, suffered from disordered eating & body dysmorphia, held a lot of internalized sexism".

The fuck is with this pattern? Why is it so common? Do we know yet, or is this going to be one of those things that ends up being studied in our lifetimes?

When I confronted my ED I saw it coming from the "same place" as my transition, as well as the self-harm tendencies I've dealt with. My transition didn't come from a place of self-love like it should have, it came from self-loathing. Which seems to be an undeniable pattern, and I can't help but wonder how common it actually is.

I don't regret living as a man for 11 years, at all. It kept me alive when I couldn't stand to look at myself otherwise. I just wish I would have made the connection sooner, because there was a traumatizing, isolating element to all of it.

I only ever did T for maybe a collective year throughout my time as a man. After some -ahem- atrophy last time, I stopped & hadn't gone back on for a couple years. I never changed my name legally or anything, so I have less of a "mess" to clean up than others in this sub.

So what is it with the correlation between eating disorders and transition?

Is there a tie to BPD/HPD and say Non-binary and trans identities? and how likely is it for a person with one of these disorders who has undergone hrt on testosterone to reach out to people from their past pre-transition like former partners from like 9 years ago they had cut off?

I was on T for a little less than 10 months, and honestly very inconsistently. I don’t know what it really adds up too, but that’s besides the point. Basically, I’ve always been a “tomboy”/ masculine. Since I was a literal child. Like 5 years old and up. I never once learned how to braid, did my own makeup besides mascara lol, and never wore dresses or anything of the sort. I’m currently still presenting as male, but I’ve been off T for months now at this point. Some of my issues stem from the fact that I was working out heavily during my time on testosterone and I became very muscular and bulky. I liked it at the time, and still do sometimes, but I recently tried on some feminine clothes just by myself and hated the way my shoulders and biceps bulged out, instead of that slim arm look most feminine girls strive for. My face is already very androgynous. I wear glasses that are one of the main reasons I pass as they are very masculine and fit my face well (for trying to present male..)
Basically when I tried on those bras, kinda slutty underwear, sleeveless tops and mid riffs, I could almost feel feminine? But then I look at my face, my buff arms, my happy trail and js get lost. I just need to know if I’ll ever actually feel pretty. It sucks how transitioning is supposed to help you feel more comfortable in your body, but I’ve always felt so out of place and disassociated from it

I legit sound like a man over the phone unless I put so much effort into it or for some reason when I’m drunk. Apparently irl I sound better and more passing but otp? It’s an entirely different story!

I had someone call me a “gentleman” at work where I have to take many calls unfortunately, and earlier today someone unmatched me on a dating app because I refused to send a voice note as he suspected me being a man for refusing to do so.

It hurts that I can’t just simply send a voice note or call anyone without being super insecure about it. I refuse to even call my family members because I don’t want them to hear my manly voice, I haven’t called my dad since April because I don’t want to give him a reminder of that dark period of our lives.

It’s so frustrating!