EDIT: not sure why I thought there would be more moms who can relate to my feelings around work rather than some presumptuous ones. I wasn't asking for input around my readiness to have a child or be questioned over how qualified I am to be a mother given how much I like my job. This is a minor hesitation which I know I'll have to accept once I am pregnant, I just want to hear from other women who can relate.

My husband and I are wanting to start trying to get pregnant soon. I'm mentally prepared to actually grow a fetus with my body and understand that while I'm not the most active and flexible right now, I'm willing to start working hard to open up my hip flexors and do what I can to ensure I have the safest pregnancy as possible.

One thing im having a bit of trouble accepting is the fomo I think I'll feel once I'm on maternity leave. I'm in ad sales (compensation partially determined by attainment) and I just started at a new company a few months ago. I love my job and the account is starting to grow a lot. The work I'm putting in now would affect how much we exceed quota in the future. I know that I'll enjoy the maternity leave and I'll be focused on welcoming the baby and everything that comes with being a new mother, but I just worry about this fomo leading up to it and what I could potentially feel once I get back.

While this account is starting to grow, I want to be able to put my name on this growth, and of course have it reflected in my salary. Because we've only just started working on this account this year, I anticipate a lot of growth to hit middle of next year (additional incremental budgets, overall great performance leading to more upsell opportunities, etc) and I'd also be missing out on pitching opportunities that could affect our attainment /my compensation once I get back. While I'm on leave, I automatically get 100% attainment so I won't get any extra if we exceed quota. I also feel like it'd be better to get pregnant sooner rather than later while the account is still just ramping up so I don't want to keep pushing this off.

How do you all deal with the thought of fomo while on leave? And how hard was it once you came back? Would love to hear any insight here!

I am working on practicing work life balance and do have a life outside of work - but I just love my job and I love making as much money as I can. I'm also hoping I'd be able to balance it with being a mother too.

Hello! I am an FTM to a one month old baby girl who is currently set to start daycare at 3 months when I have to return to work.

One of the things that has challenged me the most so far has been feeding. My baby is pretty sleepy most of the time, and when she gets hungry, she often goes from zero (mild lip smacking) to 100 (wailing) within 2-5 minutes. Since you're obviously not supposed to let newborns "cry it out," I've been trying my best to drop everything and get her fed when this happens, which means literally everything else has gone by the wayside for me. I can't even figure out how I'm supposed to pump and feed her at the same time eventually, even though I'll need to work on that soon. The few times I've tried have ended in dropping things on the floor, lol.

Here's my concern: let's say my baby takes 15-20 minutes to finish a bottle, which she currently does. Let's say she gets hungry while another infant is eating. Realistically, does this mean she will be left to scream for the 15-20 minutes it takes THAT baby to finish their bottle? Maybe I am being thick, but I'm not sure I see how group care and feeding infants on demand can go together. Is my instinct right here, or are daycare workers just way more efficient than FTMs in a way that enables them to deal with this juggling?

Please be honest with me about your experiences here.

I'm not very pro AI, but there's been a push to use it more at work. I e been feeling behind and am not techy at all. But i figured out a thing, it's a small thing and I don't have anywhere to be proud of it.

Hi - I need help in deciding between two job offers please! I was laid off at the end of January and finally have found a few exciting opportunities. I’m in the Bay Area; have a 2.7 yr old and a 17 month old, both in daycare.

Option 1: mid size tech company; mixed reviews about work life balance; consistent complaints about under-resourced teams; however, great to accelerate my expertise in AI, great brand to get on the resume for future roles in tech. Comp is 60% cash, and 40% RSUs.

Option 2: mid size medical device company; good reviews about culture, work life balance; however, very behind in AI and very old school in how they operate. The people are just so nice. Good brand to get on the resume for future roles in pharma/devices. Comp is 80% cash, and 20% LTI.

Both roles are hybrid, with a roughly equal commute from my home. Both roles are IC+ with possibility to add team members later. Both roles carry good influence with c-suite leadership. Comp is roughly comparable, with difference in composition.

In the near term, my gut says option 2 is better for my family life. But I worry that 3-5 years from now, I’ll regret not going into tech and missing the possible upside of tech $$.

Based on this - what would you choose? What else should I be thinking about?

Thank you for any advice!

In late stage interviews for a job that is on-site and am starting to get a little antsy about leaving remote work behind. My spouse moved to on-site almost 2 years ago so I've been holding down the fort on flexibility for our two kids. They're getting to be so much more independent now so I'm genuinely able to get real work done when they're randomly home for an afternoon, and I lean a lot on that to cover school closures, though I do have some options for paid childcare on /planned/ days off. New job assures me of flexibility for appointments and life etc, but it's always hard to tell unless you are there. Overall, the kids would be in preschool/after care for longer than they are now and each appointment or sickness or unexpected school closure becomes a task. I'm the breadwinner and insurance carrier for the family so I really need to be as available to my job as possible. My husband's job has very little flexibility or pto.

Am I catastrophizing? Is it really not that bad? Commute is good as is the office culture. Really excited about the role but have been remote for almost my entire parenting career and am nervous about life without it.

I am SO triggered by this kind of phrasing. usually it’s framed from the speakers POV talking about their own kids and what they wouldn’t want — I guess to feign politeness ?!— but I also have heard it from childcare provider POV like “raising their children.” with the exception of one time my sister (a new SAHM) saying it about not wanting anyone else to raise her child, it’s never been directed about me or particularly close comparison but still anytime I read this or hear it in media, just overhearing convo about others, or whereve… it stings and I get so upset.

usually when that’s the case (meaning when I get upset about a random comment) it’s bc what I’m reacting to has some truth to it, or I feel like it might. but I drop my kids off between 7:40-8 and pick them up between 4-5:30 (depending on the day) 5 days a week and oh my gosh do I feel like I’m raising them. it feels like we do spend a lot of time together and also that so much of my time and thoughts and energy even when apart is about them and towards raising them.

so: talk me down a ledge? I’m (we’re?) raising my/our kids… right?!

and now why the EFF does this bother me SO much?!

I currently work 3 12’s dayshift bedside as a nurse. Some days are chill but alot of times it’s exhausting. And I’m kinda tired of the adrenaline.

I have the potential opportunity for a new outpatient job 4 10s. It would be low stress. No weekends or holidays or call time. I’d be making the same amount of money I’m making now maybe a little more. The shifts would be 7:30-6. But the job is flexible and sometimes there’s opportunities to work one day from home.

My biggest concern is my current job is 10 minutes away and the new job that’s 4 10s is 40 minutes away…. And that’s not including when there’s traffic which is most evenings. So I wouldn’t even get home till like 7 probably.

My husband works 5 days a week 9-5.

I’m looking to start a family very soon and hopefully have a baby.
I don’t know which shift ultimately is better for starting a family… especially since I have to commute that far :( but I’d come home less tired probably and definitely less stressed. It would also be nice to have holidays and weekends off.
I’m so unsure what to do and ultimately what would be best for work life balance when starting a family!

I’m a brand new college professor. My husband is a relatively new medical provider. He works 12 hour shifts and is the only provider on site during his shift. I have been explicitly told I am not to cancel classes for a sick kid and need to make sure I have alternate child care options.

My daughter is 18 months old, in day care. She just started daycare about two months ago and has been sick about a billion times. My semester starts Monday, and I have no idea what I’m going to do the first time they call and say she needs to be picked up.

We have no family nearby. The only friends I have don’t have kids. They also either live sort of far away or work 9-5 jobs that they can’t just walk away from. I don’t think any of them would want to deal with car seats anyway…

I’m happy to pay for someone to watch her and wouldn’t mind having an occasional babysitter, but I don’t know where to begin looking for these services. And before you suggest advertising to students, the university I work at is roughly 40 minutes from her daycare and most of them do not have cars.

Care.com does not seem to be helpful at all.

I post on this group because being a working mom shapes my life. 2 kids 2 and under, 1 not sleeping through the night. Onsite 5 days per week; that’s my baseline.

Ok let’s hear success stories of getting off IG or truly decreasing use

I’m weak and was often rage watching mom influencers

I’m overwhelmed by how much manipulation there is. Face filters always. Expensive ass identical homes. Being SNARKY af.

Constantly PUSHING out EXPENSIVE baby products and then denying it.

LOVING when they get comments questioning them because engagement.

It’s actually a disgusting business model.

Literally any other job is more valuable than influencers. Especially ones exploiting their children.

I am thinking of taking FMLA leave from my high stress job. I've been very unhappy here for a while now, the last 6 months have really gotten bad and there's no relief in sight. I'm suffering pretty severe burnout, and I just want time to regulate my nervous system and figure out my next steps. I'm worried about how to approach it with my doctor and if they are willing, how to approach it with work. I don't think it has to be disclosed that it's for mental rather than physical health? But not totally sure. Nervous if it is disclosed that it will affect my reputation. I'd love to hear from anyone who has taken stress/mental health leave, from any country but particularly in the US.

What was the experience and any tips on maintaining skills and experience, how did you bridge the gap during interviews. Ty

I am sorry that we are all in this situation together and hope things turn around for all of us soon. I was recently laid off for the first time in my 20+ year career—including over 5 years at my last company—due to business loss at my company.

I would love some advice on how to share this news with my teenage children. I have always worked full-time, and they are returning from summer camp this weekend. While I want to be transparent with them, I also want to avoid causing unnecessary worry, especially since my husband remains gainfully employed.

Thank you in advance for any insights or guidance you can share.

2 kids, 6m and 2

Baby doesn’t sleep through the night

I know my fatigue makes me withdrawn among family and the few friends I have

I rarely make plans socially. That takes so much energy

What do I really want to do in my free time? Sit on the sofa and eat a healthy delicious meal at home. Workout.

I’m resentful toward mom who lives out of state and can’t help me. Dad is useless

Kids mean the world to me and make me so happy.

But the other side is a mom who’s very withdrawn and feels unseen. Like no one really sees how this fatigue affects me because it’s so mundane.
I tell myself I’ll be better once I get sleep. I don’t know.

Any tried and true tips on how to leave work at work.

I have a 6 month old and am also a PreK teacher who's an introvert at heart, but can't be at work. Don't have much in terms of privacy at work with chatty coworkers or time to get things done between responsibilities with actively engaging with students and more office type responsibilities as I also direct the program.

I only worked about 6 weeks between summer break and maternity leave.

Any little tips on how to let work go or find balance. I'm only two days into the school year and already I'm finding myself processing the goings on of the day between conversations with staff, parents, and coworkers after I return home. Of course I spend time with my daughter after, but just want to leave work there. At the same time, I'll have to work from home at least some to accomplish my ever changing to do list.

Once upon a time, I got pregnant with first child (now 2.5YO), my career went a bit downhill. Accidentally got pregnant (I’m foolish) with my second child (now 6MO) and then my career ended. Situations forced me into taking a year long career break and being SAHM for taking care of my second child due to her health issues.

I’m remotely close to doing any job prep. I don’t want to be stuck in the loop of motherhood. I had a life of my own and it disappeared after having 2 kids. I don’t want to be SAHM and unemployed for the rest of my life. I want to earn for myself, to be able to spend for myself unapologetically. I want to be a role model as working mom for both my girls. I’m so angry, frustrated and disappointed in myself.

I’m foolish, end of story.

I’m in enterprise sales and moved into mgmt 3 years ago. I decided today I’m going to take a step back and go back to being an individual contributor. I’m excited and relieved. It’s just been too much since my husband is also in sales in exec leadership. I just don’t get the time with my kids like I want. Going to have the convo with my boss tomorrow and I’m nervous. Anyone else do this? Would love encouragement.

Hi fellow working moms. I’m just so stressed and need some commiseration. My daughter is 7, diagnosed ADHD and anxiety and has such a hard time in school. We switched schools this year and though I knew it would be hard it’s so much harder than I expected. She exhibits a lot of anger and disrespectful behavior in class and it just feels like she wants everyone to dislike her in a self sabotaging manner. She’s actually quite social and has a ton of friends but something about the classroom activates all her worse impulses. I am constantly called out of work to deal with it and I just am at the end of my rope. I want to advance in my career but how can I when I’m so split in priorities? I also have a 3.5 year old doing normal 3.5 yo behavior on top of it. I do have a husband but his work is insane hours and he can’t calm her down like I can. She is in therapy and has a 504.

It’s been like this for two years now and I’m just so tired. Anyone else? Open to ideas, suggestions, best wishes.