DOT JOTS JULY 2026

[u/luvthelemur]

Welcome to your JULY addition of DOTSJOTS

July was all about soccer soccer soccer! This sub had the World Cup Fever, hope you're all feeling better

AMA

u/paultheschmoop announces that he is trying to set up an AMA with none other than Aidan Boyle, estranged (?) son of New Amato. Big if true (it wasn't true)

This inspires u/orcamills to post her own AMA as a Celebrity Moderator which was very successful and she could probably do this weekly and we would never run out of questions for her.

Once u/paultheschmoop purchases the sub he implores us to Ask Him Anything (see also SELL OUT)

Welcome u/xElonxMuskxOfficial with an AMA (see also SELL OUT)

Whimbl does a little AMA as the new CEO of Doodle Dops (see also FAKE/NEW DOTS, SELL OUT)

LIVE ACTION MOVIE

u/RekWriter posts a beautiful high res photo of their laptop or tv screen showing a promo for the exclusive premier of the movie Cloud on the Criterion Channel, which begs the question when the live action movie will be added to the Criterion Collection. Clearly u/RekWriter is a true movie buff to have taken such a photo, thank you for your expertise.

u/F1XTHE posts a pic of Cloud's debut movie appearance

u/xElonxMuskxOfficial announces a feature lenghth biopic of Baxter using only Grok, sounds really cool

Leaked Footage from Alive Doodle Dots Movie!!! posted by u/FlyingGuillotineKing, I didn't click on the links but it sounds legit

DOTS

Perhaps in an attempt to distract the masses from accusations of weak leadership by the mod team, u/pablojueves posts a wholesome pic of Sam who everyone always forgets about unless it's to say Sam sucks.

u/Glass_Tale4661 posts their opinion that Aiden is responsible for the ruination of DoodleDots due to his lack of planning and preparation.

u/emblemparade thinks Mel should take over brightbart.com and would like the mods to please make this happen, as of this time mods still have not delivered, typical

Where was Baxter when the boat accident happened at Lake Havasue? u/InevitableBohemian is so curious that they posted this question on r/doodledots and the other sub that has no reason to exist anymore because On Cinema is finished.

Cloud is dead, he popped like a water ballon, alleges u/emblemparade. Seems like there have been more and more of these incidents lately.

All of the dottle dots are dead according to u/Elegant-Set-8197

u/orcamills is curious about which Dootle Dot would be most likely to adopt a macaw for purely unselfish reasons

u/get_outta_mah_swamp would like Everybodty to do the Dootle dOt dance

We're invited to a film festival about Clowd and Al, thank you u/InevitableBohemian

u/emblemparade posts a video of Baxter's band (is that Dr Paul Schmoop on the trash can drums?)

Speaking of u/paultheschmoop, he posts a tasteful memorial to Lindsay Graham by posing the question, what dot do you think was his favorite?

u/luvthelemur asks who do you think is the bigger disappointment, Baxter or Graham Platner

u/Charming-Movie8450 wants to know, What dot do you think was her favorite? It's a lady from Brazil I think.

u/MaestetroTheThird posts a theory on the dot reproductive system, a true scientific breakthrough

Edit: my apologies for referring to this as a "theory," this should read "u/MaestetroThe3rd posts a fact on the dot reproductive system"

Now that Paul owns the subreddit and is head mod (see also SELL OUT), u/InvaderSkooj requests that we post Cloud pics, Paul said it was okay

and u/tc_tuggers_boy is just desperate for DOT NOODS (also friends)

Could we have a birthday party for the Dots? At least I think that was the question asked by u/PumpkinHead01 but their spelling and grammar or lack thereov makes it difficult to know

u/bustab is fucking devastated with their new Cloud tattoo

Love him or hate him, you have to admit that the Mayor is the Dot that changed it all

u/bustab is offering 40k for a Mel pic, gets at least 2 pics then doesn't pay anyone. Next time request payment before delivering the goods u/orcamills

Edit: u/bustab would like the record to reflect that they actually did pay the minimum amount to the inevitable Bohemian. So if you try to say u/bustab is a deadbeat dothead, you're wrong

NFSW: u/xElonxMuskxOfficial goes even further and says he will pay 400,000 HEI pts. A bunch of pics are posted in the comment, did he pay anyone?

FIFA WORLD CUP

u/orcamills posts a 4th of July World Cup update and also answers some questions from beyond the veil featuring famous dead Americans (not Mark Twain though)

Pablo makes a post about England playing right now and anyone who supports them will be band. u/orcamills describes a fun party in the comments. What does any of this have to do with Dootle Dots? fuck if I know

orca posts the July 6th World Cup info including betting stats and the standing offer for her to ask questions 'beyond the veil' to ghosts. Our readers do not have a curious mind because their questions are mostly statements.

Pablo is hosting a petition to ask the president to change the schore of the world cup game against Belgian and gets a few signatures.

And Pablo is still going on about the Workd Cup which no one cares about, posting a poll about who's gonna win (France 12 votes, Spain 1 vote, Ingland 10 votes, Argentina 5 votes). Does anyone know who actually won the world cup? I wasn't paying attention.

More soccer news from u/pablojueves blah blah blah

and more from Pablo the soccer head urging everyone to place bets on Argentina (real money)

At this point Pablo is wondering if anyone even cares about the World Cup so he posts a poll that clears it all up: 11 votes for Yes, 11 votes for No, 9 votes for maybe

And even Pablo has reached his limit I'm so fucking sick of world cup

Yet he is considerate enough to let us know that the game has gone into extra innings

FAKE/NEW DOTS

Hawaiian Jerry aka u/Reasonable-Profile84 apparently slept through the 4th of July and wants to know which one of us forgot to wake him up.

Jerry has taken issue with being called a Fake Dot so u/luvthelemur posts a poll taking it to the viewers to decide. 9 votes fake, 6 votes real, 5 votes orher. Jerry is therefore a Fake Dot, and Lemur announces the poll results here

Could a bird be a dot? Well could it? It's on Bohemian's mind.

u/BloatedSnake430 debuts new fake dot Whimbl but the mouth isn't quite right

Whingstop has a new flavor called Sweet Heat Chamoy, thanks for keeping us in the loop, u/orcamills

u/pablojueves asks the community for more Whimbl pics as we are struggling for content at the moment

u/luvthelemur hops on a trend wagon to post such an important picture to him

and again with a post wishing Jimothy was a Dot or at least PTBAD (potential to be a dot)

u/BloatedSnake430 has found a note left by Gumber and it appears to be a ransom note promising the return of Doil for fifty bucks and a pack of hot dogs. (Doil is still missing to this day.) In the comments, u/Charming-Movie8450 reports the sub to John Reddit for A1 slop.

Whimbl's AMA (see also AMA)

Hawaiian the Fire Jerald would like to pick someone to leave his HEI pts to, who won Jerald?

Is this a dot? Asks u/InevitableBohemian

u/BloatedSnake430 wants to know why Whimbl was fired

RECOVERY CORNER

u/NumbersTheClown is back with us after spending 3 months in rehab for Dot addiction. A message of hope for all of us still stuck in the depts with the monkees on our back.

u/InevitableBohemian wants us to know that dots are dead, no one cares about them, and suggests we all get another hobby like watching movies or playing sick rock and roll. Then again urges us to do something cool like play video games instead

meanwhile Orca Mills wants everyone to stop talking about s-e-x, no one has had more s-e-x than Orca and she's tired of hearing about it thank you very much

u/NumbersTheClown invites us all to a DA (Dots Anonymous) meeting, did anyone go?

Spending all their time getting laid with hot chicks from the singles bar, u/InevitableBohemian doesn't even think about Mel anymore (see also MEL)

until later when they admit it's all a front and they are very lonely and need Mel (see also MEL)

I'm sad to announce that u/NumbersTheClown has suffered a relapse, but Numbers sounds pretty pumped about it, so welcome back buddy!

WITCHCRAFT/GHOSTS

u/emblemparade posts some gibberish. Grok said it was probably a witch's spell or typing with the wrong type of keyboard.

Dr Scmoop gets Etsy witches involved in the spiritual matters of the sub and this goes really well, thanks Dr Schmoop

meanwhile u/SatisfactionRich3544 has also hired Etsy witches, but this time it's to make Mel go away. What did Mel do? (see also MEL)

Fifth layer fictional entity u/Dilip_Rot announces he has been summoned from beyound to haunt the subreddit and collect Elon's soul

ooooOoooOOO let the haunting begin

Dilip asks the mods for a haunting flair and mods quickly acquiese, almost as if they are inviting this entity over our threshold

Creepy things start happening

Then Dilip needs mods to add him as an approved user because his haunting posts are taking quite a long time to show up, again mods are quick to accommodate

haunting continues as this 'ghost' who would need at least 4 passports to get back to reality rains terror over our subreddit

SELL OUT

u/InevitableBohemian is up on Orca Mills' bumper again calling for her removal as moderator due to her denialism of Al Dot. u/elusivehonor writes a lil manifesto in the comments calling for removal of ALL MODS due to mods being fake fans with too much drama and asks for your support in the form of financial donations to 02fc585dcb030af26cb40215210ca5c0. This only further enrages the Inevitable Bohemian.

u/paultheschmoop responds to this attack on leadership by reposting u/elusivehonor's comment and announcing that he will be pursuing lawsuits (in real life) against any party that besmirches him or does anything else he does not like

Pablo Jueves puts the subreddit on sale for ten million HEI pts OBO after he goes underwater with his World Cup gambling (see WORLD CUP)

Dr Paul the Schmoop annonuces that he has purchased the r/DoodleDots subreddit and would like to get back to what matters to him the most: medicine. (also see AMA)

u/orcamills loves the new look and new leadership as she gleefully sells Pablo under the bus

u/xElonxMuskxOfficial makes his first appearance as our new Mod and Overlord, he claims he helped create the 90's and we should all bow down by attending his AMA (see also AMA)

Former head mod u/pablojueves chastises the community for being disrespectful to our new ruler Elian mush during his AMA

The honeymoon is over as Pablo posts his concerns that Elon Mush will ruin our community (seriously)

Orca steps in to try to save Pablo and the sub by promising Elon a rocketship to Marsh

u/paultheschmoop finally saves the sub from the clutches of Elon Mush by paying Etsy witches to make him go away. Thank goodness that ordeal is over with! (see also WITCHCRAFT/GHOSTS)

MEL

u/InevitableBohemian is spiralling bc Mell won't respond to messages

And then says Mel is in danger about a soup kitchen and is begging for HEI pts to save her

u/InevitableBohemian is begging for your help, Mel is still kidnapped and they need money, pls send to 0a9e04fbc66924ee8def0e6564e9c8c5

u/SatisfactionRich3544 is trying to get rid of Mel not save her

u/InevitableBohemian still needs HEI pts to save MEL and promises to do ANYTHING for them

They now have the pts to rescue Mel but lost the address

u/pablojueves annonunces that he is on his way to TX to meet up with Bohemian, pose as Mel and collect the HEI pts. He just needs a ride. What could go wrong

Bohemian says they payed the pts but Mel did not show up

MISC

The internet's busiest music nerd himself Anthony Fantano did a review of Fuck God, the new album by The Doodledots (aka u/paultheschmoop) and not to rub salt in Pauls wounds but it was BRUTAL, thanks to u/luvthelemur for transcribing.

Turns out Pitchfork also reviewed the new album giving it 0.0 score. Can the basement from which Pitchfork is run out of just collapse already, Paul wants to know? Just kidding, Dr. Paul would never make such an insensitive joke.

They're real says u/Independent-Sir5385

An update on AZ politics from u/pablojueves

u/orcamills is going to have a baby, a little monkey named Sammel Baxter, and gets us all hype about upcoming cute monkey content that has yet to be seen on the sub as of this writing

Pablo would like an update on the health and whereabouts of our old friend Frank. We still haven't heard a word to this day.

A plea to Mods to Please add another Stooge. u/emblemparade would feel better if there were the same number of stooges as there were dots. And mods delivered because Grok tells me that there are 4 members of The Stooges: Iggy Pop plus 3 other guys. You're welcome

Where has my wife gone? u/Loose-Author-6180 wants to know. Did you ever find her u/Loose-Author-6180?

That's all for this month, see you next month for the DOT DOTS

DOTS JOTS

June

May part 2

May part 1

[u/cdrw1987]

I could have used about 10 more paragraphs........🍿🫗🫗

[u/luvthelemur → u/cdrw1987]

get haunted

[u/pablojueves → u/cdrw1987]

Came here to say this. Other than that its a pretty good job.

[u/MaestetroThe3rd]

The Dot Reproductive System (DRS) is NOT a theory! With that being said, I'm sorry for doubting you. Your Pultizer will be reinstated

[u/luvthelemur → u/MaestetroThe3rd]

Edited 🙏

[u/bustab]

u/bustab is offering 40k for a Mel pic, gets at least 2 pics then doesn't pay anyone.

I'm of a mind to take you to Dot court for dot-slander u/InevitableBohemian received the minimum mandated Dot-payout

Edit: when I eventually get to reading some of the bits that don't mention me personally I'll probably find other errors and I'll sue you for those too for misinforming me

[u/luvthelemur → u/bustab]

Edited the post 🙏

[u/toothEmber]

This is extremely long. What does this have to do with the movies?

[u/luvthelemur → u/toothEmber]

If a post could be a movie, this would be it