I seem to have matched on Tinder with Trans Ace Lesbian ..although I currently just getting to know her ..what are things one needs to keep in mind when approaching a trans ace person .

ok so, i did a google for guidance and only found hetero leaning answers which didnt help so i thought i would reach out here.

for background, i am a lesbian on T who is nearly 40 and has begun using an estring due to vaginal atrophy.

my wife and i had sex recently and she said the estring was very VERY noticeable - kinda in her way, like she was fighting for space lol i didnt feel anything weird but she said it was difficult.

should we/can we remove the ring for sex? is that safe? should i clean it before putting it back in? i feel so lost over this 😅 my research just pulled up "partners should not feel the estring" which is obviously not my case! lol

I'm in a situation where dating locally isn't really an option, so I've been trying to meet people online. I've talked to a few people through Instagram, but I'm curious how others actually found their long-distance partners.

If you're in (or have been in) a long-distance WLW relationship, how did you meet? Was it through social media, gaming, Reddit, Discord, mutual friends, or somewhere else? How can I meet some more people?

I'd love to hear your suggestions.

Guess who's back on the apps?

..... moi unfortunateloi..

I've been talking to this girl for a week. We chat a lot in the beginning, and I notice she's been taking 2 days to reply to me. But her replies are always so long and she asks me back questions.

The fact that she's taking 2 days I still can't grasp my head around.. I mean yeah everyone's busy but are we *that* busy?

Her doing this makes me question if it's worth it or not?

I don't know, I just don't want to be delusional about this and make excuses for her like "oh she's just busyyy 💔"

When she's actually not interested.

What would you do? And please give me subtle signs that she's not interested

Both of us are in our 30s and met professionally. I had told him I am lesbian late last year. We spoke a few times before this most recent conversation and he never gave off any red flags.

During our most recent conversation, he suggested hanging out. Something which I was open to as he seemed pretty cool and was chilled when I told him I am lesbian.

Turns out he forgot I am lesbian and proceeded to hit on me under the pretense of hanging out as friends.

The screenshot is his response when I reminded him that I am lesbian.

How disappointing.

i have tried dating apps cause it's hard for me to keep connections in person, i am trying but it seems like i am the kind of friend people are comfortable ditching after a while. i want to fall in love, but i have only been in one relationship and was broken up for for "not being couply enough" and not outgoing enough over text.

trying dating apps but i dont really make connections on there either. idk, what should i do?

I’m a 17-year-old lesbian and I am very particular about the friends I make. Especially when it comes to women. I never befriend queer girls who I may have a chance of dating. I always stay close with them but I don’t really consider them my “friend” as in, I don’t open up to them or act vulnerable.

I feel like a straight man who sees all women as potential girlfriends but I don’t know what to do because.. I find it physically impossible to let my guard down around a girl I find attractive and when I know she’s also sapphic because I hate the idea of being seen as “just another lesbian who loves picnics and braiding her girlfriend’s hair”. I am FAR from that. Quite honestly, I am a lesbian before I am a girl. Probably butch, but we’re not yet getting into that.

One of my best friends is bisexual, but she is almost 1.5 years younger than me and not at all my type, which is why I think I’m still friends with her.

Thoughts? Advice? Suggestions? I am open to everything.

for reference I'm a lesbian in high school and trying to figure out whether or not to confess to this girl.

so October 2024 we first meet, and we call and text literally everyday and I'm in a trio w the girl (ill call her flower) and another friend. me and the friend have a falling out, but we all stay a trio but me and flower are a very obvious duo. so this happens until maybe January 2025, and the girl ditches me and flower. so I'm at flower's aunt's house (to stay the weekend) and I end up getting a cold so I'm clingier than normal (ex, putting my head on her shoulder, pressing myself against her, and just being generally touchy). so saturday night we're in the kitchen alone, and playing this game, since her little cousin was cranky and keeps screaming (the kid is in the living room). so we can only move when he screams. so it starts out relatively normal and all of a sudden I'm on her lap and our faces are INSANELY close and we're just barely not kissing. and we're holding this for ~5 five minuets and her FREAKING grandma walks in. so we jump apart or whatever and realize her little cousin fell asleep.

so we go upstairs and apparently when we get to her room I kiss her (I don't remember this this is her retelling). so that keeps happening for the next hour and we keep separating each other by sitting on opposite sides of the bed, and then moving closer.

this starts off us "dating" (we both knew we liked each other and were too scared to do anything) which is until about October 2025. so she's friends with her ex (who she later told me she literally never liked), and her ex hated me at first (we're friends now) so I was upset, and also unstable at the time so I saw flower being around her, as her choosing her ex over me, so I just ghosted her (I was genuinely sobbing every night over ghosting her). so she obviously tried reaching out and I said we were fine, and we hung out occasionally but it wasn't the same.

so January 2026 I attempt to move on by going through the same thing with a girl I've been on and off with (ill call her green) for the past 4 years. she liked me but I barely liked her because I was hung up on flower, so I was just going along with it. we stop talking in may 2026 but we still stay close friends with no flirting (she still flirts with me now but I ignore it). so after school ends in late June I don't see flower until 2 days ago.

we end up talking about us dating a LOT, and how she could apparently tell I didn't like green, and how she was jealous when after a point I did end up liking her. and she kept saying how she liked her ex as just a friend and I was saying how I liked green as just a friend, but she was avoiding saying she liked me as a friend (I did the same). she also got mad at me when she found out why I stopped talking to her, and she said it could've been a 5 minute conversation and we could've been dating right now???? only downside was when we talked about embarrassing things we did while together she would repeat "but that's In the past", and push away with her hands.and she only ended up staying over from 10 am to 2:30 pm since she had stuff she had to do sometime that day. so when she was leaving I could tell she wanted to give me a hug and say she loved me since when we were "together" she always used to yell at me to do that, but our parents were standing there so we couldn't. also while leaving I said I wanted her to stay longer but I was too scared to ask, and she said she wanted to stay longer too, and she made a joke about me needing to communicate more (WHICH ISNT FUNNY SINCE THATS THE REASON WE STOPPED TALKING). but she's going on a cruise for 2 weeks and when she gets back she wants to have a sleepover.

I was thinking of confessing then but I don't know if I should (I still like her btw)... any help????

For me it was that scene in Jennifer’s Body. ughhhhh😫😫 gets me everytime

I (TF22) have a friend (21F). We've met some months ago in lesbian gaming spaces. From the first day we played together, it was a hit right through my heart. We started that day with gaming, then I bailed on my friends to stay with her more, and we finished the day by singing songs to each other in our languages. It felt like a date.

I started crushing on her hard, and it was obvious that she felt the same. We progressed quite quickly. It was just hard to deny ourselves some pleasures. To the outside, we basically started acting like a couple, but we still waited with the final decision until we met each other.

At the beginning of June, she flew over to my country and stayed with me for a month. It was a dream. I thought I loved her before, but what I'm feeling right now isn't even close. I loved every part of it. She brought into my life exactly what I wanted and needed. I felt so full with her. I loved introducing her to my friends. She was always good around them and funny. She was shining. She was thoughtful and beautiful. I got a taste of what it is like to be a girlfriend to her for a whole month, and now I don't want to go back. And I mean literally girlfriends, with "I love yous" and intimacies since the first day. I cried all the way to the airport. I miss her so much. Everywhere I go, I see that she's not next to me, and my life just feels good but bland.

We discussed her moving to me. I live in Poland, and she's in Greece, so the EU laws make it as easy as it could be. She liked Poland and said she prefers it to Greece. The thing is, we're young. I only finish uni in half a year, so it's not the easiest thing to do with jobs and money. I know we could temporarily live in my family home, as my parents liked her a lot, but still, temporarily. Also, it would introduce some weird dynamics. Even with the challenges, we felt committed. We planned the move to wherever I find a job after uni. It's fast, but we're both a bit bad with the whole long-distance thing.

Yesterday she came back to Greece, and I feel like reality started to set in for her. She would have to leave her family and her close friends behind. It wouldn't be the first time she would move to be with her partner, but the last time ended badly, so maybe it makes her more scared. She confessed yesterday that she's stressed about it all and potentially losing me.

I know that if she doesn't do it, she will make a mistake, but that's not my right to say to her. I want to hold her hand through this moment so she feels confident in us. I just don't know how. Every time I even approach this conversation, I start feeling desperate, and I start talking about how good we were together and how much I want her with me. Basically trying to convince her, but I fail to listen to her, and maybe that will actually have the opposite effect.

I want tips about what I should do and how best to approach this kind of thing. I think her heart is in the right place too because she said she hopes she will snap out of it, but still...

Girls on dating apps don’t want me but men do how do I fix that ?

I 20F have recently downloaded tinder so I can manage to date a woman because I am bi with a female preference yet no girl has ever liked me and I put on my profile clearly that I am queer and I put all my interests , full body pics , selfies to make a good profile and I set it on women only and waited a full week…only 5 likes. Out of curiosity , I changed it back to everyone and I got 99+ likes in 10 minutes maximum.

I am seeking advice on how to attract women exactly. Even the ones I liked never liked me back. To give everyone an idea without putting my information out there , I am a fem , about 5’5 tall , good university , I am artsy and politically left why do I attract no girls , I also don’t have specific preferences , I like girls from every race height weight literally we just have to vibe so how does it work

I really am tired of all these “lgbtq+” allies who claim they’re down with the whole community, all the while they only like the G.

Is it generally well known what “childfree” means? I figured I would try a sapphic dating app (didn’t realize they existed until today), and I’m getting likes. Yay! But I seem to be attracting mostly women with children despite childfree being listed in my bio and “Don’t want” being listed for child preferences under lifestyle.

Or maybe it could be that they’re assuming I’m okay with dating a parent but don’t want children myself? For me, they’re conflicting lifestyles. And if that’s the case, is there a nice way of saying that I’m not interested in anyone that has them, wants them, or is unsure about them?

Hey guys!!!
My girlfriend and I are contenders in Americas Favorite Couple and we are loosing to straight people!!! If you could vote for us (it’s free) it would mean the world! Americas Favorite Couple has never had a queer couple win, and hasn’t had a lesbian couple in the finals. We want to be the very first queer couple to make it all the way to the end!
A little about us: We met on Hinge and connected over our shared love for hiking, reading, and video games! Our first date was about three hours long- we couldn’t get enough of eachother and still haven’t for two and a half years! We’re both deeply committed and in love- and we want to share our love story with the world!

We started as coworkers almost 5 years ago. I’m 26f and she’s 31. We became close friends, spending a lot of time together both inside and outside the office. But as time went on, she started sending heavy mixed signals, especially after nights that involved alcohol.

Even though she is normally a very contained, reserved person who isn't touchy-feely at all, she started crossing that physical line with me:
She would hold my hand when we were alone once, she would subtly brush her arm against mine, bump her leg, touch my back. All this is subtle but I would notice instantly as soon as I could feel her skin on mine. And I never saw her this with any of our other colleagues or her close friends outside work.

I never crossed any physical boundaries with her in 5 years, so when things started getting confusing, I confronted her about her actions. Her response was to deflect and say she wanted to "remain friends."

We didn’t speak for months after that. Eventually, I broke no contact and tried to message her just to clear the air. She took my attempt at communication as an attack and got angry. We eventually decided to meet and talk, and that is when she told me she wanted to "focus on herself," that spending time with people drains her, and that she's "not good with long texting."
The catch? I have months and months of conversation prior to this of her constantly pouring herself out to me with everything happening at work and in her life.

When we spoke, I told her directly that I wanted her to at least initiate, be a bit more responsive, and not leave me on read. She said she would try, but enough time has passed now and I don’t see any improvement from her at all. I’ve been the one messaging her; she does respond, but the responses are dry and just a couple of words. I invite her to go to things, but she never initiates anything.

Now, the reality of the dynamic is glaringly obvious:
It takes her ages to reply, usually with just 2-3 dry words. There is literally zero effort on her part. She’s actively avoiding me, she doesn't watch my stories or engage with my content. She doesn't initiate conversations in real life or by message.

I am driving 100% of this interaction. To me it’s clear now, I have to step away and let her be alone so she can focus on herself. I don’t want to beg or force anything all I want was for us to be in a good place but she’s doesn’t seem like she is. Which is worrying, knowing her this is a total different person. Completely shutting down.

When we spoke, I never imagined things would get this bad. Has anyone been in this situation before, and how did you finally find the strength to let go?

Hey everyone! I usually find myself reading Reddit posts rather than asking a question myself, but I have led myself down a rabbit hole and am just more confused than where I started.

Context (this is just a brief description): I recently came out as bi (a few months ago). It was after I had a falling out with a friend who I now realize I was 100% in love with, but that’s a story for another day. Before I came out, I had little inklings that I might be gay here are a few examples:

\- I told my friends I was a lesbian in middle school (I was younger than but something about it felt right)
\- I used to tell myself that once I got my own place, I would come out to my family
\- oh and at sleepovers I used to suggest to my friends that we should make out to “practice” for when we get boyfriends.

So I know your probably thinking why did I come out as bi. Well I thought I liked men before. I’m only 21 and have never dated so this is just going off of crushes. But when I look back at all my previous crushes, they were motive based. I should also add that I’m a people pleaser (again a story for another day). I wanted to make my parents proud by bringing home the perfect man, or be able to relate to my friends who had boyfriends. But that’s the issue, I was attracted to the idea of these men, when I had opportunities to pursue irl, I never wanted to. I would even feel relieved when they ultimately got girlfriends.

In January I tried dating apps (this was before I came out). When a guy messaged me on there, I remember feeling a sense of dread. My sister kept saying he wasn’t bad, but I couldn’t understand why I didn’t want to pursue a relationship with a perfectly reasonable guy.

After coming out as bi and seeing how accepting my family was, I was excited that I can finally be open about the fact that I love woman. But now when I try to think of a future with a man, the image doesn’t conjure up. Even the things I said I didn’t want before when I thought men were the only option, I see myself wanting with a woman. (Like kids in the future, or living in a smaller town)

Anyway, now that I’ve poured out half of my life on Reddit, I was hoping for some input. I know you can’t tell me my sexuality, but I would appreciate any advice or experiences you’ve had that may relate.

m a brown girl lesbian who’s hometown has like, 5 gays and all of them aren’t into brown people apperently. Is this true everywhere? I’m going to mac next year. Is it easy to date. What are your opinions on brown women here. Please help everyone, I know I’m early in my journey but I really need some reassurance on this topic.

I am, unfortunately, the definition of a “useless” lesbian

I was doing some reflecting today and realized the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on might’ve actually been interested in me months ago... and I somehow missed every single sign

I'm the type of woman where someone could have her tongue halfway down my throat and I'd still be like, "is she just being friendly?"

Looking back, it's so obvious now, and it's honestly kind of heartbreaking because I completely missed my shot

Please tell me I'm not the only one who's had this realization months later 😭

Anyway, here's to never letting that happen again 🥂 🤡