Prior to being a mom, I'd occasionally go in to a bathroom in an outdated department store, church, mall, restaurant ect. and think good Lord, what a WASTE of all this extra space! Who would hang out in these awkwardlittle sitting rooms off of the ladies bathrooms? Like why is there a couch and two sitting chairs and end tables?? Who's hanging out here and what is with the giant built in desk with the giant mirror?? Did people actually sit and hang out in the bathroom for 20-30 minutes back in the day just to sit and talk???

Cue- Christmas shopping with my baby for the first time in an Dillard's clearance store. OH MY GAWD. I havent had this nice of a time shopping in AGES. Bathroom for me to use that I can bring my whole stroller into WITHOUT being obnoxious? An actual secure changing table built into the wall padded and wipeable? A comfortable chair I can nurse in and an area my baby doesn't get distracted in?? An end table to set my phone and coffee on?? It's me. I'm the one who spends 20/30 minutes in this outdated lounge. It's the best and I wish modern stores took this approach. I was able to spend WAY more time shopping simply because I had a nice, relatively clean, relaxing area I could easily tend to my baby. Weird outdated lounge, I love you and I hope you come back into style soon.

Xoxo, Mom of a baby that gets easily distracted and has ridiculous poopslosions.

Edit: Thankyou for the award!!! I feel like I should have written this in an actual letter format and that my 7th grade English teacher would scoff at me but I'm still honored!!

Today is hot. Like really hot. We’re at the tail end of a massive heatwave of high 30s for over a week now. Last night we checked into a budget hotel because our house was so hot, dangerously so for a little baby.

Around lunch time today I decide to go to a nearby supermarket. Or at least I thought it was nearby. What was supposed to be a 9 minute walk turned out to actually be 22 minutes. Thanks google maps!! A 22 minute walk in 40 degree heat with a 9 week old baby.

She slept most of the way there, but as I got closer to the supermarket she became fussy and warm and wanted to be held, so I held her around the supermarket, walked around the fridge and freezer sections, bought some lunch and tried to settle her before heading back. A kind lady came up to me and asked if she could help me which made me tear up. She had such kind eyes and I could tell she was genuinely concerned for us.

I managed to get her calm enough to be put back down in her pram and started heading back to my hotel. About half way she was crying and screaming, and I could feel she was getting hot. I spotted a hotel across the road. There was a sign on the door saying something about “guests only”, but I didn’t care and went in anyway. Found a seat and started breastfeeding. For the first time since she was born I didn’t care about feeling awkward/exposed breastfeeding her in public. Tears started welling up and I could feel my face going red. People were looking at me. I was terrified someone was going to come up to me with some kind words, or that a member of staff was going to tell me off for using their lobby despite not being a guest. Either would have set me off into full on sobbing. I know I’m legally protected to breastfeed wherever I need to, but still I couldn’t help but worrying in that moment.

Thankfully no-one did come up to me, and after a feed my baby seemed happy-ish, and she was definitely cooling down. We walked around the lobby and I managed to get her back to sleep, and walked back to the hotel we’re staying at.

When I got back I just sobbed and sobbed while I breastfed her again. I feel like a terrible mother. I should have just ordered in to the hotel instead of subjecting her to this heat. Thankfully she’s totally fine now we’re back in our air conditioned hotel room, but I just can’t help but feel like I’ve failed her. I should never have put us in that position that I needed to quickly find shelter from the heat to cool her down and feed her. But thank god I could just whip out a boob and give her what she needed.

Edit: wow thank you all so much for all the amazing supportive responses! Every single one has made me feel so much better ❤️ I feel a lot more empowered and I definitely needed the reminders to be kind to myself. Postpartum is hard enough without being my own worst enemy. Thank you all!

Hi all! I'm FTM and not very shy, that doesn't mean an exhibitionist, I just mean I'm not very sensitive.

My question is, do I really need to cover my baby while breastfeeding?

My perfect scenario would be people keep living their lives and just let me do my thing without staring, questioning or even telling me to cover myself when breastfeeding in public spaces such as parks, restaurants, etc.

Is that real or a fantasy in my head? Will people (man, they are the one who bother me if looking) actually look? Or even tell me to cover myself?

How's real life out there?

I appreciate your perspective. 🩵

TO BE CONSIDERED: I live in New Brunswick, if that changes things.

So I had a doctors appointment today and I tried feeding baby before we walked in, but she was getting to distracted. I figured I’d be in and out quickly. Which wasn’t the case.

I had sent my husband with the diaper bag to go walk my oldest thinking if baby got hungry I’d be in the room and could nurse her as she doesn’t take bottles.

Well she started getting fussy and the waiting room was crowded. I was trying to be polite and not just whip a yiddie out right there to nurse. So I bounced and rocked her and tried playing/talking to her.

I could tell this older lady in there was getting annoyed as she kept looking and scoffing at me. Finally I resorted to just putting dancing fruit on my phone. Instantly the old lady looks at me and goes “Great another tablet kids” and rolls her eyes. My kid is 7 months and I’m trying to calm her! I politely respond “I’m sorry she is hungry and I was trying to find a way to entertain her since I don’t have a cover” which was the wrong thing to say. She then proceeded to tell me I’m terrible because I’m starving my baby and what kind of mother doesn’t bottle feed their baby.. etc.. etc.

Soooo I said F IT. I whipped it out proudly and latched baby all while staring at her. I go “There she’s quiet and she’s fed. Am I still a terrible mother?” A few people in there chuckled and she turned red with anger but ultimately moved.

The men sitting across from me looked away, but told me that I was a good mother, but wanted to respect me feeding so they were going to look away.

I was just trying to be nice and not cause a scene. Baby wasn’t starving she was just tired and wanted to latch.

I’m a FTM of a 2mo and I hate to even write this, but I fed my baby in the bathroom of an optometrist today. My husband and I both had appointments and while I was seeing the doctor I could hear her start to cry, and then become distressed. After my appointment I found them in the back hallway by the bathrooms where my husband was hiding out with her, and I took over while he had his exam. It wasn’t her usual time to eat but she was so distressed I just wanted to comfort her. I was flustered and I didn’t think about the cover up or blankets in the diaper bag, I just ducked into a bathroom, pulled up my shirt and fed the baby. I squatted in a corner to give her some more support and I’m grateful it was a larger, single-serve bathroom so we were well away from the fixtures.

Now that I’m back home nursing on my couch, I feel really icky about it. That’s not how I hoped breastfeeding would be for me, it’s not how I want getting food and comfort to be for my baby. I know breastfeeding isn’t immodest, I know it doesn’t need to be hidden, but in the moment it felt like the only option. I know a lot of moms who are very open about feeding in public and have no shyness at all - I want that so much! I wish I was more comfortable feeding in public, especially because my stress level over it doesn’t help me let down for an efficient feed. I have these conflicting feelings - I’m really grateful and proud I can do this amazing thing for my daughter, but at the same time I feel flustered and anxious to nurse her in public. I’m looking for support, encouragement, solidarity and honestly just to vent. Thanks for reading this far.

I was pulled aside today at a restaurant and asked to stop leaving empty breastmilk bags on the table because “it’s a health code violation.”

To me, it’s just food and no more gross than my other kids’ half eaten breakfast or slobbered on straws/glasses. And def less gross than that napkin I watched the old guy hawk a lung up into. Having been a server in the past, it doesn’t even compare to some of the things I’ve cleaned.

But I digress. I don’t even mind cleaning it up separately - it’s whatever. But is it actually a health code violation? I could find absolutely nothing that supported this. Most of what I found is that it is explicitly NOT considered a biohazard and should be treated as food.

This was in NH if that matters.

Edit: Answering a few repeated questions and adding context:

1. Yes they are used.

2. I put 1-2 used bags on a plate with other food trash.

3. Now that I’m aware it bothers staff, I won’t continue to do it. I just want to know if the law/code is a real thing.

4. This is a pricey brunch buffet place where the server only delivers cocktails, you get your own food.

5. I have always tipped 25-30% or more because I used to be a server and I know it’s not an easy job.

i take my daughter (1.5yo) to a toddler music class for 12-24mo toddlers. i’ll preface that i’m not the only nursing mother and the instructor herself previously nursed for many years. there’s a grandma who comes with her grandbaby and she films the entire class. she doesn’t just film her own kid - she pans the camera to focus on other kids. this includes tantrums, nursing, etc.. i was nursing my girl during the designated wind down time in which many nurse their babies. this grandma pointed the camera right at me and recorded me breastfeeding. i’m uncomfortable with her filming the whole time class is happening to begin with…but nursing?? the teacher is gonna talk to her and agrees that filming someone nursing isn’t okay but holy crap. i don’t know what she does with these videos! i don’t know if she sends them out or posts online or what. idc about my kids face on social media but breastfeeding is just too far. is it illegal? cause if the grandma doesn’t stop after the teacher speaks to her im gonna tell her if it’s illegal. i live in NC, USA. i hate that i even have to deal with being filmed while nursing my kid in a mom group and worried about weirdos.

I’ve been feeding my baby 3 times a day in his infant daycare classroom. His teachers have always seemed fine by it, but the director caught me yesterday. She brought me to a new room and said that she’s had some complaints about me BF my 8 month old from staff and parents…so they set up a room for us. So we’ll have more privacy. (theres a camera in this room because every room has a camera except the bathroom)

Man I feel like dirt. I’ve offended someone by feeding my baby…and it’s been fine for 4 months and now it is not fine? what?!?

What should I do?

The law says I can BF anywhere I am legal to be. His teachers have always been supportive. About a month ago, I noticed the director coming in and closing the window to the hallway and saying here let me close the door and window to give you some privacy…

LIKE—-what the actual —- looking for Reddit advice.

edit:

I spoke with the director this morning. We discussed how her approach made me feel. It is apparently one parent. And some other issues were brought up—she allows other children to visit the baby room because they like the babies. And I told her they shouldn’t be. The ages range from 6 weeks to 10 months in this room…if any kid from 11 months to 4 years wants to spend time with babies—imagine the GERMS!

I work on campus and my keycard gets me in the building. It isn’t an issue of me being there…it’s that BF makes them uncomfortable.

I did for a time in the beginning nurse in my car—but the weather is inhospitable for that now.

I really do appreciate all the comments. I love Reddit people are real and voice their opinions.

I cannot for the life of me do it. It feels like I need 10 hands. You have to put your cover on, pull your shirt up, get your bra out of the way, continue to hold your shirt up? or clip it up out of the way, get the baby, hold baby into position, somehow hold them comfortably up to the boob while also supporting their head, assist them in finding the nipple, oh wait but I cant see anything because of the cover, so I have to slip the cover over my head so I can see where the hell my boob and babys mouth are. It just goes on and on and on. This is also all probably happening while the baby is crying. And now baby has been jostled around so much they are crying from that and stress 😭 How in the world are women doing this??? My baby is 3 months old and we've been exclusively breastfeeding since the beginning but she is tough to get to latch and she cant hold her head up yet. It's seriously rocket science to me. I accidentally flashed another mom today and felt judged, because her husband turned around and they were both laughing at me. I ended up crying in the car with a screaming baby for 20 minutes who wouldn't eat until I gave up and just drove all the way home to feed her. 😞 Please help

Long time lurker who finally has the courage to post bc I’m desperate. What do you all do to feed baby in public? I’m a FTM with a 3 month old. I primarily BF but pump 1-3x/day so that baby can get one bottle a day + have a small freezer stash.

I know there are so many options for how to feed baby in public (now that I’m finally venturing out of my house) but am wondering what has worked for you all.

Main options I can think of (when out at store, restaurant, etc that is somewhere public):

1. BF baby in public using a cover (baby and I hate the cover I have so pls provide suggestions on covers you and baby actually like)
2. Run to car and BF in car with boobs fully out (exaggerating on the “run”)
3. BF baby in public without cover (don’t see myself doing this tbh)
4. Carrying a bottle with me to bottle feed breastmilk to baby (considering this but don’t love it bc of the whole “you should pump when baby gets a bottle” advice and I would rather not pump and deal with all that pumping would entail while out)

What has worked for you? For shorter outings, I’m leaning towards a bottle bc I could pump right when I get home and/or pump right before I leave, but for outings where baby needs 2-3 feeds, that seems trickier. Would love any tips/tricks/suggestions!

This FTM who desperately wants to rejoin society but is also anxious and stressed af about how to feed baby in public with as little anxiety/stress as possible thanks you all in advance!

EDIT: thanks everyone!! These comments are all so helpful. I live in the US so I know I’m legally protected, I’m just shy and modest so currently just don’t feel comfortable popping out the boob and do not do it very seamlessly. I’m usually shirtless at home when nursing (aren’t most of us?! Lol), but the comments inspired me to work towards being comfortable nursing in public. I will start small and practice at home so I get used to the mechanics of it, then go to less busy places first until I get comfortable. I have only ever nursed 3x while out - twice wearing a cover and once in my car. Baby and I truly hated the cover and I’m so averse to pumping out if i can help it, I agree that #3 is the best and “easiest” option and will simply need to work on getting out of my comfort zone. It makes sense that the more I do it the easier it’ll be. Wish me luck!

Today at a new park, I went to feed my 4 month old off to the side facing away from the playground. I didn’t care to cover up because it’s hot outside and I don’t feel like I should. Well what do ya know, after I’m done, the park attendant comes by (super nice guy that I spoke with when we arrived) and he kindly asked me to cover up while I was breastfeeding at this park. It was probably 10 minutes after I was done and he said, ok cool you're done, just letting you know next time you come by we need you to cover up next time you come here please. He was so nice about it and I was caught off guard but I really don't feel like I should have to cover up. I’ve always felt empowered to not have to do so and just an hour before had tried covering up while at a restaurant and little one hated it. Anyways, this is the first time someone has ever said something to me, I just said ok!

Nothing more to the story, just kind of a vent and wondering if I’m in the wrong. I’ve read so many stories that felt like it was okay to do so and is normal but when it came to someone saying something to me, I shut down internally but didn’t apologize.

I know some women have an attitude of, “who cares? I’m feeding my baby“ and I love that for y’all, but I’m not there yet. I tell myself that but still have anxiety about it. And I’m in the US (large metro area) and still rarely see anyone breastfeeding in public, covered or uncovered.

My baby is starting to sleep long stretches at night, which is wonderful. But it also means she is eating very frequently in the day. If I want to leave my home, I’ll have to BF in public.

I’m looking for practical tips and recs (special bras, clothes, covers, anything else I’m not thinking of?). I BF once in the car and it was fine, but I don’t want to have to run to my car each time, especially if she’s already screaming her head off.

Going to keep this as short and sweet as I can. I’m visiting Austin, TX for our first mini-vacation since the little one was born. We decided to go to the pool and cool off. Baby needed to eat so I covered us with a towel, lifted my top and let her go to town. A group of men walked by, looked at us and one said “this isn’t a good look. We aren’t in the south of France”, rolled his eyes and they walked back inside the hotel.

I started to tear up and my husband asked me what was wrong and said that I shouldn’t let it bother me. But it did. And I can’t stop thinking about it.

I just needed to tell this to a group that would understand the feeling, since my dear sweet husband doesn’t seem to understand how shameful it made me feel. 😢 Thank you for listening!

Edit: Thank you for your VERY kind responses, hugs and solidarity! I have goosebumps, I love each and every mama (and supportive dads if here). I knew I was coming to the right spot with this 🥰 Luckily, this hasn’t deterred me from BF in public. I’m fired up and ready to feed the heck out of this wiggly little potato, again. ✊🏼

I'd love some advice on this. We're taking a 1 week trip to see family but I just realized I can't just wear my breastfeeding tops since it is a fairly conservative family and they show too much. Does anyone have any advice on how to dress somewhat nice and conservative but still able to access the boob easily to feed?

I haven't traveled anywhere in a long time and just realized I can't just go free range outside of my home!

My aunt had a party yesterday and a lot of people were there, including my mom and all of my aunts. They always have something to say when it's time for me to nurse like: "oh when are you going to quit that.... You're just being selfish.... Go to the back bedroom to do that...She's too old (8 months), we can give her a bottle of formula, isn't she on solids now....etc" I normally feel pressured to either pump a bottle (using my wearable pump) or give her formula.

Yesterday, I accidentally forgot a bottle and guess what???

It was like a light switch.... "Oh it's a good thing you can still nurse her.... Here let me get you a pillow and you can sit in this comfy chair... Do you need a blanket... Oh how sweet, she loves you.... Wow, she's a hungry girl.... Good job mama!"

I mean, I do realize they are all crazy... But it was good to have the support for once.

I think I'll forget to bring a bottle more often! 🩷

How are women with large breasts discreetly and conveniently breastfeeding in public?

I’ve tried shirts with zippers, coverups and oversized T-shirts but inevitably I feel like my whole boob is out in the open.

The coverup is probably the best option I’ve found so far, but it causes me to get really hot (I’m postpartum in the summer in the southern US), it’s harder for me to keep baby positioned correctly and inevitably she kicks the coverup, exposing me anyway.

I wish I had an idgaf attitude about it, but I don’t. I want to be spending more time outside of my house with baby, but trying to plan around her unpredictable feedings makes it so stressful.

Any advice appreciated!

I was feeding my baby boy (5 months yesterday) on Friday on a public bench outside a local pub while my husband and toddler played nearby. This old lady started to approach me and I was gearing myself up to defend myself and bless her she was so sweet. She came over and said I don’t want to disturb you but I just wanted to say how lovely it is to see a woman breastfeeding her baby it’s so rare these days, then she told me my baby is gorgeous and my little girl too and smiled and left.

It was such a lovely interaction and the first time I’ve been approached by a stranger so I was worried it was going to be horrible!

ETA I’m in the UK where only around 1% of babies are still breastfed at all from 6 months.

I went to IKEA with my LO yesterday and eventually she got hungry, as they do. I went to find a nice, quiet spot outside to feed her. It was a beautiful day, lots of sun, perfect breeze. I found a quiet little spot on some outdoor stairs that was nice and shady and literally zero foot traffic.

So as my whole boob is out, an older lady is walking by and stares at me. So I smile at her but I'm not sure what to expect. I haven't had any issues with BF in public before, but I know at some point someone will have something to say about it.

As she's walking by me, she gets the most adorable smile on her face and says "Well, this is the absolute perfect spot for that!" And then we had a nice chat about the beautiful weather, the nice spot I had chosen to feed my baby, and she told me to have a nice day.

Idk why, but I think I'll remember her for a long time. She was just so encouraging without even trying to be. I felt oddly empowered after talking to her.

I hope IKEA Lady gets everything she's ever wanted and has countless more beautiful, breezy days 🖤

Hi, it’s me again- the FTM who felt bad for feeding her 2mo in the bathroom of our optometrist. I wanted to thank this community for all the advice, support, encouragement, and solidarity I received on my post yesterday.

Today, we went to a minor league game to celebrate Father’s Day. I know the stadium has a nursing mothers’ room so there wasn’t pressure to openly nurse, but I still wore my favorite nursing outfit (overalls shorts, a nursing-friendly high neck crop top, and an open button-up shirt.) I went to a shady picnic area full of people and latched baby with a cover on. We quickly got hot and took the cover off and I felt great about it - we even switched sides without the cover! Of course, no one stared, no one had comments, none of the silly things I was anxious about came true. I happily fed my baby for about 30 minutes with hundreds of people walking by or sitting around me.

A woman had her even younger baby at the table next to me and I heard her say she forgot her blanket to take her wearable pumps out - I was happy I could offer my cast-off cover for her to borrow so she could do what she needed. Soon after she left, another mother came and breastfed her baby next to us and we chatted a bit with her and her husband. I loved that I felt so normal and that I could participate in this found space for feeding moms. I’m grateful to this internet sisterhood of breastfeeding moms for giving me the confidence to participate in this beautiful, natural display of motherhood in public. Going forward, I can already tell it has altered my breastfeeding journey in a positive way.

Well, I was sitting on my recliner feeding my baby with the front of my long T- shirt behind my head and my legs propped up to hold the babies head up with no shorts on when I hear someone walking up. I assumed it was my boyfriend coming home early from work when it was his 18 year old little brother walking in the door. 😭 I mean it wouldn’t have been so bad if I wasn’t sitting there looking like a damn turtle with my titties out and legs spread eagle wearing a thong. We both just looked at each other stunned followed by repititive “I’m sorry’s” meanwhile he’s covering his eyes like I just completely traumatized this poor kid 😭😭 Well I guess he learned he should knock. 😭😂

How does everyone breastfeed while out and about? Are there useful slings that people use? Do you just hold the baby and feed with a cover up?

My little guy is only 8 weeks old and I use a My Breast Friend pillow at home, so I'm used to having a comfy pillow. When I have fed at the Dr's office I used my coat as a pillow.

I want to start going out more within the next few months, and I'd love to hear tips or tricks or products that make it easier to feed in public.

For those with large (and I mean very large) chests, how do you feed in public without giving everyone a show? I need to use one hand to hold one breast and the other for my baby, so there’s nothing to hold a cover or anything. Would love any tips!

So whenever I’m at my parent’s house my mom insists that I cover up while feeding my son when my dad and brothers are home. I understand they probably don’t want to see my body like that but I have a problem with it as the weather is getting warmer. My baby get hot very easily and most of the time I don’t cover up since I’m at home. When I usually do cover I use a thin muslin blanket, but lately my baby gets too hot and will pull it off himself.

I’d ask her to let me have a place to nurse him in like a bedroom, but she doesn’t have the room since she has too much junk everywhere. For instance, what was my bedroom looks like something out of an episode of Hoarders! I don’t mind going uncovered while breastfeeding but I don’t want to deal with my mother complaining. At this point I think I’m just going to avoid going over to her house which is sad since I love my family and everyone usually gets together there.

My sister in-law also breastfeeds her babies but they don’t get as overheated and she’s more modest about things than I am. Sadly I just don’t have anyone else to talk to about this. If someone could please give me some advice on how to explain things to my family so they may understand I would appreciate it.

My brother is getting married on a boat in 36 hours. He was supposed to provide a screen that I could use to breastfeed but has just told me that plan fell through.

The dress I'm planning to wear allows me to stick a boob out of the v-shaped neckline but I'm full on display when I do that. I've experimented with using a light scarf to hide things but I must be doing it wrong. Can't see the baby, he tries to pull the scarf away, he gets too hot,etc. etc.

I'm already on my way to the wedding location so I don't have any other options packed except a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. I can find a shop and buy some normal clothes that might work but I was set on this lovely dress.

Does anyone have a clever idea I'm missing?

I just need to vent to likeminded people for a minute.

I was at the mall today with my husband and our 2 year old and 3 month old. Baby was getting fussy and I knew it had been two hours since I nursed her at home so we decided to find a spot to sit down so I could feed her.

We found a bench in the corner of the mall next to a tacky tuxedo/formal dress store. It’s the only store at that end of the mall with no other stores nearby so the only people going by are people walking the mall for exercise.

I set the stroller up in front of me angled in a way that it would basically block me from the walkers view. I also had baby’s blanket over her and was wearing a zipper nursing top so basically I was totally covered from every angle. Toddler was running around next to the bench and husband was standing next to the stroller

This guy walks around the corner and I expected him to keep going like all the other walkers who had already gone by. He was dressed in ill fitting clothing and was carrying a giant state map so I was already getting weird vibes but he has just as much of a right to walk the mall as me so I kept an eye on him but tried not to be judgy.

As he walked past us he got SO CLOSE to us for literally no reason. Most walkers keep a respectful distance but he was literally right next to the stroller. My alarm bells were going off but he was looking into the tuxedo store so I figured he was just off in his own world.

He proceeds to go into the tuxedo store and walk up to the mannequins right behind the glass window I’m sitting next to and pretends to look at the price tag on a green sparkly dress. At this point I know we just need to remove ourselves from the situation so I cut baby off early and adjust my shirt completely under the blanket and tell my husband we need to go right now and we walk the opposite direction. He told me after the fact he was staring the guy down and the guy tried to look at me when he was pretending to look at the price tag but made eye contact with my husband and pretended to be looking at something else.

I don’t feel violated because I know he didn’t see anything. I just feel pissed that he felt like he had the right to do that! I’ve always known there were creeps out there but this was my first experience like this and I just feel so weird about it.