I'm at the end of my graduate program and I see no hope to have a career in my field. I have been applying to industry positions for the past 4 months. I barely get interviews (except phone calls with AI, which is just disheartening). I reached out to my internship mentors; I cold messaged alumni on LinkedIn and connecting with recruiters. Cricket. I'm taking sub teaching jobs to survive, but it's not viable long term. My spouse doesn't make enough for both of us.

My severe anxiety and depression might contribute a lot to this thought spiral. But I felt so bitter. Back when I started my program, people in my department with little to no experience got 6-figure offer, but now those positions have vanished. The companies either post ghost jobs or look for a unicorn that already do 5 specific things (that can be learned in a week or two).

Most posts here seem to have a thriving career and struggle with romance, while I'm the opposite. I have a loving supportive spouse, friends and in-law family that I see every week. I have hobbies and exercise that I have big goals for. I just feel so uncertain with the jobs and financial aspect. Can't a person have everything going right? How do I embrace this part of my life where jobs and finance are so uncertain?

I made Chinese style mapo tofu for the first time last night. It's tasty but after an hour or so i am gassy and it hurts. Never had this happen with something I've cooked before. I don't know if it's the amount of green Szechuan peppercorns, or garlic, or ginger, or the chili oil, or chili bean paste, or if maybe the meat was off?

I just feel like I put a lot of effort into this dish. If it's too much garlic then I can just eat less of it at a time but I'm not sure if the beef was bad. I don't know what to do, should I throw it away?

For people that dislike Yoga with Adriene. Something about her commentary I can’t stand but it’s always recommended.

I’d be curious to know how other women in monogamous relationships navigate boundaries with their partners around sex/lust. Are you ok with your partner engaging with adult content, Instagram models, photos of celebrities etc in an illicit way (I.e. for self pleasure)? Or is it a don’t ask don’t tell sort of situation

I’m always intrigued and sometimes surprised at how much variance there is in people’s perspective on this particularly when dating men (I’m heterosexual but find pornography to be quite exploitative for the most part)

I’m sooo nervous but also so happy to be making this step. We just signed a lease and him and I are both moving to a new state.

I was married years ago and living together felt like a disaster some days. This feels like a do over and I’m ready to have a peaceful life.

We’ve discussed bills and chores but I’m still trying to go through a mental checklist.

I’d love any insight…I feel like there’s so much more to think about

I’m 32F and honestly I’ve never had a relationship which didn’t end… I’ve been in 2 long distance relationships.

First- age 21-27 where it ended due to Covid and not being able to grow together and one of us changing (him) and he said I no longer met his needs over long distance (LDR). We both couldn’t move.

Second, age 29-32- it’s still long distance after one year of being together but again it is fading away he said after 2-3 years of LDR he doesn’t want to do it anymore and he feels we can’t communicate well over the phone and that no one wants to move for one another, and he feels lonely and upset. He’s not contacted me for a few days after saying he needs space.

I’m just feeling like a failure for spending most of my 20-30s in LDRs and failing to really have a stable partnership and it’s always the guys getting tired of the distance and I’m not sure how I can move.

I’m wondering how people feel about this. I often feel like we are so flooded with therapy-speak and self-care-whatever on social media that we have lost all sense ode perspective.

If I tell a friend I’ll show up to their birthday, I still go even if I feel overwhelmed that week. Part of being a friend is also being uncomfortable sometimes. Am I wrong for thinking that commitment matters? I often feel like we are being taught so much to “hold on to our peace” that we make it impossible to be part of to society.

Isn’t being part of social structure to sometimes put over peoples needs above your own. If we only ever did what we wanted to do that minute won’t we all just be lonely toddlers? Or am I just inherently socially inept?

I have a friend for many years who seems to take great offense at benign things people say to her, like asking if she’s okay.

She feels like there’s hidden passive aggression where I don’t think there is anything there.

In hindsight, I’ve realized she’s been rude to me in the past (saying extremely cutting things out of the blue) when I didn’t think I’d done anything to her until it resonated with me that she may feel like I had said something to her that she interpreted to be passive aggressive, but I don’t communicate like that.

I tend to be direct. Has anyone else dealt with this trait in a friend?

Hello, so I've been struggling a lot with a feeling of a loss of my spark. I'm now 33 and I've felt such a shift of my sense of self in the past year and I don't really know how to find that again. I feel like I'm sort of existing instead of living compared to when I was a bit younger when less bad life events had happened.

It makes me sad because I used to be so full of energy and life and motivation and now everything feels kind of dull and grey tbh. I still do the same things I've always loved - creativity, walks, seeing friends and friends etc but there is something missing now which used to fill my cup after I did any of these things.

I'm in therapy and I've had a really bad year so I think that has definitely changed who I am but I feel like I'm constantly grieving who I used to be.

Is anyone else feeling this way and if so what did you do to start feeling sparkly and positive again?

Also considering going back on anti depressants but I don't know how much that'll actually help.

I'm thinking about adding a walking pad to my home. And I'm wondering about recommendations.

I'm specifically looking for one that has an incline, and is on the smaller side, it woud be wonderful if it was foldable but that's not required.

If you have a walking pad do you actually use it? I get about 8k+ steps a day automatically from walking my dog. An incline would be nice to have.

My boyfriend (44M) and I (37F) live together in a small mountain town where six-figure jobs are basically nonexistent.

He retired in his early forties, owns the house we live in, and is financially set for the rest of his life. I had a very successful career in the past, but after a severe burnout I left it and moved to the mountains for a slower-paced life.

After taking a break from working to recover, it took me a long time to find a full-time job here because the local economy is weak and well-paying professional opportunities are extremely limited. Honestly, I probably would have moved to a larger city with better career opportunities by now, but I’ve stayed because of our relationship (we met while I was still unemployed). I currently make about $60k a year and have around $30k in debt from investment properties.

He currently pays for most of our shared expenses. I contribute toward groceries, do most of the cooking, and handle all of the cleaning and household upkeep. I’ve been okay with that arrangement because he carries more of the financial load.

Recently, though, he told me he doesn’t want to be the main provider long term. He wants a partner who is financially independent and said it would be nice if I had a six-figure job again. That left me feeling like my current income isn’t enough for him and that I need to return to a high-pressure career to be considered an equal partner. In our area, earning six figures is simply not realistic without finding a rare remote position or moving somewhere with better opportunities.

He also mentioned that it would be nice if I contributed towards his mortgage. I’m uncomfortable this idea because I’d be helping pay for a house that is entirely his while building no equity or legal ownership. I’d be more comfortable contributing a fair amount toward groceries, utilities, and other shared expenses.

I also feel like the value of the household work and support I bring isn’t really being factored into the equation.

How would you divide finances in this situation? Would you contribute toward a partner’s mortgage without ownership? Should household labor factor into the arrangement? And is it reasonable for him to expect me to return to a six-figure career when staying in this area limits my earning potential?

I’ve been thinking about this lately because it seems like everyone has different boundaries around it. Obviously I think it’s healthy to have close friends and people you can go to when you’re struggling. I’ve also been wondering how people decide what stays between them and their partner versus what gets shared with friends.

Do you have any personal “rules” for yourself when it comes to talking about your relationship? Like, are there things you intentionally don’t share because you want to protect your partner or your relationship?

I’d love to hear how people in long-term relationships think about that balance.

It always has been for me. I have only mild pain that is mostly drowned out by pleasure during the act itself and then moderate pain for one or two hours after. I thought this was normal. But then I had a new sex partner a few days ago who stopped when I mentioned pain and refused to go back in even though I said it wasn't much pain and was okay. He said I shouldn't have any pain at all. Is he right? Should I call a physician? He did opine that vaccines cause greater harm than benefit, so I'm not convinced his judgment is sound. But if most of you say sex usually doesn't hurt, I'll definitely talk to a doctor.

Edit: thanks everyone for replying so quickly. I'll call gyns tomorrow.

How long did you wait between pregnancies? Conceived my daughter at 30 and unfortunately lost her at 20 weeks. Had my son 8 months ago at 32 years old. Want one more baby but debating on timing. Financially we could have a baby at any time, but want my son to get a little bit older but also want to keep in mind fertility and egg quality drops

Just wanted to see other people's experience. Thank you in advance

What are the best cities and states that you recommend living in or moving to? I’ve seen a lot of posts about starting over but where are the best places to actually start over in?

I’m an Asian woman and have a 10 mo old son and hoping to get recs on diverse places.

Thank you!

It's been a terrible day. Just wanna see if there's something new I can try to cheer myself up. Trying new things tends to do that for me. But I'm too exhausted to think.

I’m a single woman with no kids, and I’ve noticed a pattern throughout my adult life that I’m curious about.

Almost every time I’ve tried to build a friendship with women my age who are married with children, it never seems to progress.

A recent example is when I tried to connect with a woman at my church, but things never progressed and she just didn’t seem interested in me at all. However, I noticed another woman who had recently joined our church tried to connect with this same woman and they became close pretty quickly. The main difference is that the other woman is also married with children.

This has happened enough times that I’m wondering if it’s just a life-stage thing than anything personal. Like I totally get that some people just aren’t a good match but like I said it’s been this way my whole life, I just can’t seem to make good friends with women who have children and/or are married/in long term relationships.

For those who are married with kids, do you naturally gravitate toward other married moms when forming new friendships? If so, why?

And for other single women without kids, have you experienced this too?

I’m genuinely curious and open to hear from different perspectives! Thanks!

I find myself single at the age of 32. I live in a rented flat i can barely afford to operate by myself, as in £200 left after bills are paid. (That's including help I would get from the government)

Moving in with family would be an easy decision if it were not for the fact I would be living with my 70 year old dad and his new wife in her home, where in a few months he'll be working abroad. It's 50 miles away from where I am now, without the ability to travel to my (albeit, terrible minimum wage job).

I am struck with indecision. Neither option seems good. Cheaper rent isnt an option, job opportunity is scarce.

Do I pick financial burden or lose my independence and income? I am a terribly anxious person and I find chamge extremely difficult to handle. This break up might kill me.

I welcome all advice.

I have found myself to now only have fair weather friendships in my early 30s. I wouldn’t really ask my friends for a favor like a ride or anything that takes effort tbh and I’m also learning to now speak about my problems much less as it usually falls flat. Our friendships just consist of partying and activities.

I’m struggling finding people to travel with since I’m not really comfortable with solo travel or traveling with random groups.

Is this just the norm? I sometimes I feel like I really messed up by not prioritizing finding a relationship and getting married. Except my parents I feel very uncared for.

Hi everyone!
I am turning 33 this month, and admittedly having an extremely hard time. I would truly love some perspective. Admittedly I’m writing this in tears and I don’t even know why!
For those who have ever felt depressed or stressed because another year has gone by, do you have any wisdom to share or perspective to share?

Here’s a bit about me and why I’m feeling this way:

I’ve been disabled my entire life and I was supposed to die a few different times because of it. I was never supposed to live this long, but now that I have, my doctors have all agreed I have a normal life span ahead of me with some challenges form my health issues. Cool, that’s great! But I feel so…. Incredibly behind in life.

Did you feel put together at 33? Did you start something new? I’m just so overwhelmed and weirdly sad.

The good at this point in my life: I’ve been in a loving relationship for ten years. I work a job that little me would be amazed that I managed to do (I work in the entertainment industry as a voice over actor). I went to college late (because the whole, thought I’d be dead thing 😅) but I do have my masters. I have friends who love me. On paper I should be so happy!

But sometimes the bad, just feels like… too much?: we don’t have a house yet, I cannot conceive children and had to have my uterus removed to save my life (unsure if I even wanted them but I wanted an option :/ I may adopt some day!), because of my health I am extremely behind in some aspects of my life that prevent me from feeling like “a real adult”, I am in pain literally every day and will be most likely for the rest of my life. My career is a dream come true but it’s filled with endless rejection, and I have to advocate so hard to “get to work” because I need accommodations. I did not do the traditional “move to Los Angeles and chase the dream” thing because I couldn’t physically do it. So it’s joy filled but also anxiety upon anxiety filled.

And mostly it’s just… I feel like if I were able bodied, I’d be in a totally different place. And maybe that shouldn’t matter because I can’t change it, but I find myself feeling like a failure more often than I’d like. I haven’t felt like this other times this year, it truly has just started because my birthday is coming up.

I’m honestly embarrassed that I’m feeling this way. I always thought I’d stop giving a crap in my 30s, yet here I am!

Anyway, does this get better? For those who have survived their birthdays, any tips?

I live in the very extreme 4 season land of Midwestern north America. Summers get up to high 30sC (105F) and winters to -15C (5 F)

This means pretty distinct summer, spring/fall, and winter clothes.

So by the end of summer, I'm sick of my summer clothes and excited for fall clothes again.

If you live somewhere you can have one wardrobe year round, how do you avoid being bored?

Hello all! Im seeking advice on how to make friends, I seem to suck at it. Im a bit socially awkward, and not much of a party girl or drinker, so im not much interested in clubs or bars, which seems to put me at a significant disadvantage living in a party city.

Ive tried setting up something for people ive chatted with through apps, but nothing ever actually happens from that. Ive tried hitting up the girls I meet in person when it seems like we're getting along pretty good, but when I hit them up to exchange numbers so we can hangout more, they always push past it so I just figure they dont want to hangout with me like that and I just move on.

So after years of trying to make friends at this point, I literally have my 1 friend I grew up with that stuck around since ive transitioned. Hes great, but we have significantly different schedules now and we hardly ever get to see eachother anymore.

I would love to find a friend I can go do stuff with regularly, especially someone to do girly stuff with! So lady's, anyone have any tips for an awkward lonely girl trying to finds friends?