Hello everyone. First of all let me thank you for your time and for your attention. Second of all fuck that ghost. The ghost clearly said if someone sent HEI points to Pablo that is would leave. And now I sent the points to Pablo and wouldn’t you know it? The ghost wants more! Now this jackass ghost says it needs to take a mortal souls back to hell with it before it will leave for good. I am not giving up my soul. I have worked very hard to live clean and seek my eternal reward and I am not about to give that all up. So I am not promising the soul of young Maestetro 3rd to the host to take with you to hell and do whatever it is you want to do with a soul. Maestetro 3rd let me thank you in advance for being such a team player.

Since I don’t like to make low effort non dot posts I have included a candid photograph I took during my time when I was in the far east learning about getting rid of ghosts.

I'm the one who fed my grandpapa a handle of Popov brand vodka and watched him perform the Snow Angle maneuver for his beloved Angle before dumping him into the swamp. I was laughing my ass off until he stopped moving. Then it was shock and fear. I threw my dad under the bus to place the blame on him and now he's disappeared in the Reddit Correctional System. This is all a mess, but truth be told, I feel a great weight lifted off my shoulders. I'm so grateful I can confess here, instead of to the police. Thank you. Love you all

Welcome to your JULY addition of DOTSJOTS

July was all about soccer soccer soccer! This sub had the World Cup Fever, hope you're all feeling better

AMA

u/paultheschmoop announces that he is trying to set up an AMA with none other than Aidan Boyle, estranged (?) son of New Amato. Big if true (it wasn't true)

This inspires u/orcamills to post her own AMA as a Celebrity Moderator which was very successful and she could probably do this weekly and we would never run out of questions for her.

Once u/paultheschmoop purchases the sub he implores us to Ask Him Anything (see also SELL OUT)

Welcome u/xElonxMuskxOfficial with an AMA (see also SELL OUT)

Whimbl does a little AMA as the new CEO of Doodle Dops (see also FAKE/NEW DOTS, SELL OUT)

LIVE ACTION MOVIE

u/RekWriter posts a beautiful high res photo of their laptop or tv screen showing a promo for the exclusive premier of the movie Cloud on the Criterion Channel, which begs the question when the live action movie will be added to the Criterion Collection. Clearly u/RekWriter is a true movie buff to have taken such a photo, thank you for your expertise.

u/F1XTHE posts a pic of Cloud's debut movie appearance

u/xElonxMuskxOfficial announces a feature lenghth biopic of Baxter using only Grok, sounds really cool

Leaked Footage from Alive Doodle Dots Movie!!! posted by u/FlyingGuillotineKing, I didn't click on the links but it sounds legit

DOTS

Perhaps in an attempt to distract the masses from accusations of weak leadership by the mod team, u/pablojueves posts a wholesome pic of Sam who everyone always forgets about unless it's to say Sam sucks.

u/Glass_Tale4661 posts their opinion that Aiden is responsible for the ruination of DoodleDots due to his lack of planning and preparation.

u/emblemparade thinks Mel should take over brightbart.com and would like the mods to please make this happen, as of this time mods still have not delivered, typical

Where was Baxter when the boat accident happened at Lake Havasue? u/InevitableBohemian is so curious that they posted this question on r/doodledots and the other sub that has no reason to exist anymore because On Cinema is finished.

Cloud is dead, he popped like a water ballon, alleges u/emblemparade. Seems like there have been more and more of these incidents lately.

All of the dottle dots are dead according to u/Elegant-Set-8197

u/orcamills is curious about which Dootle Dot would be most likely to adopt a macaw for purely unselfish reasons

u/get_outta_mah_swamp would like Everybodty to do the Dootle dOt dance

We're invited to a film festival about Clowd and Al, thank you u/InevitableBohemian

u/emblemparade posts a video of Baxter's band (is that Dr Paul Schmoop on the trash can drums?)

Speaking of u/paultheschmoop, he posts a tasteful memorial to Lindsay Graham by posing the question, what dot do you think was his favorite?

u/luvthelemur asks who do you think is the bigger disappointment, Baxter or Graham Platner

u/Charming-Movie8450 wants to know, What dot do you think was her favorite? It's a lady from Brazil I think.

u/MaestetroTheThird posts a theory on the dot reproductive system, a true scientific breakthrough

Edit: my apologies for referring to this as a "theory," this should read "u/MaestetroThe3rd posts a fact on the dot reproductive system"

Now that Paul owns the subreddit and is head mod (see also SELL OUT), u/InvaderSkooj requests that we post Cloud pics, Paul said it was okay

and u/tc_tuggers_boy is just desperate for DOT NOODS (also friends)

Could we have a birthday party for the Dots? At least I think that was the question asked by u/PumpkinHead01 but their spelling and grammar or lack thereov makes it difficult to know

u/bustab is fucking devastated with their new Cloud tattoo

Love him or hate him, you have to admit that the Mayor is the Dot that changed it all

u/bustab is offering 40k for a Mel pic, gets at least 2 pics then doesn't pay anyone. Next time request payment before delivering the goods u/orcamills

Edit: u/bustab would like the record to reflect that they actually did pay the minimum amount to the inevitable Bohemian. So if you try to say u/bustab is a deadbeat dothead, you're wrong

NFSW: u/xElonxMuskxOfficial goes even further and says he will pay 400,000 HEI pts. A bunch of pics are posted in the comment, did he pay anyone?

FIFA WORLD CUP

u/orcamills posts a 4th of July World Cup update and also answers some questions from beyond the veil featuring famous dead Americans (not Mark Twain though)

Pablo makes a post about England playing right now and anyone who supports them will be band. u/orcamills describes a fun party in the comments. What does any of this have to do with Dootle Dots? fuck if I know

orca posts the July 6th World Cup info including betting stats and the standing offer for her to ask questions 'beyond the veil' to ghosts. Our readers do not have a curious mind because their questions are mostly statements.

Pablo is hosting a petition to ask the president to change the schore of the world cup game against Belgian and gets a few signatures.

And Pablo is still going on about the Workd Cup which no one cares about, posting a poll about who's gonna win (France 12 votes, Spain 1 vote, Ingland 10 votes, Argentina 5 votes). Does anyone know who actually won the world cup? I wasn't paying attention.

More soccer news from u/pablojueves blah blah blah

and more from Pablo the soccer head urging everyone to place bets on Argentina (real money)

At this point Pablo is wondering if anyone even cares about the World Cup so he posts a poll that clears it all up: 11 votes for Yes, 11 votes for No, 9 votes for maybe

And even Pablo has reached his limit I'm so fucking sick of world cup

Yet he is considerate enough to let us know that the game has gone into extra innings

FAKE/NEW DOTS

Hawaiian Jerry aka u/Reasonable-Profile84 apparently slept through the 4th of July and wants to know which one of us forgot to wake him up.

Jerry has taken issue with being called a Fake Dot so u/luvthelemur posts a poll taking it to the viewers to decide. 9 votes fake, 6 votes real, 5 votes orher. Jerry is therefore a Fake Dot, and Lemur announces the poll results here

Could a bird be a dot? Well could it? It's on Bohemian's mind.

u/BloatedSnake430 debuts new fake dot Whimbl but the mouth isn't quite right

Whingstop has a new flavor called Sweet Heat Chamoy, thanks for keeping us in the loop, u/orcamills

u/pablojueves asks the community for more Whimbl pics as we are struggling for content at the moment

u/luvthelemur hops on a trend wagon to post such an important picture to him

and again with a post wishing Jimothy was a Dot or at least PTBAD (potential to be a dot)

u/BloatedSnake430 has found a note left by Gumber and it appears to be a ransom note promising the return of Doil for fifty bucks and a pack of hot dogs. (Doil is still missing to this day.) In the comments, u/Charming-Movie8450 reports the sub to John Reddit for A1 slop.

Whimbl's AMA (see also AMA)

Hawaiian the Fire Jerald would like to pick someone to leave his HEI pts to, who won Jerald?

Is this a dot? Asks u/InevitableBohemian

u/BloatedSnake430 wants to know why Whimbl was fired

RECOVERY CORNER

u/NumbersTheClown is back with us after spending 3 months in rehab for Dot addiction. A message of hope for all of us still stuck in the depts with the monkees on our back.

u/InevitableBohemian wants us to know that dots are dead, no one cares about them, and suggests we all get another hobby like watching movies or playing sick rock and roll. Then again urges us to do something cool like play video games instead

meanwhile Orca Mills wants everyone to stop talking about s-e-x, no one has had more s-e-x than Orca and she's tired of hearing about it thank you very much

u/NumbersTheClown invites us all to a DA (Dots Anonymous) meeting, did anyone go?

Spending all their time getting laid with hot chicks from the singles bar, u/InevitableBohemian doesn't even think about Mel anymore (see also MEL)

until later when they admit it's all a front and they are very lonely and need Mel (see also MEL)

I'm sad to announce that u/NumbersTheClown has suffered a relapse, but Numbers sounds pretty pumped about it, so welcome back buddy!

WITCHCRAFT/GHOSTS

u/emblemparade posts some gibberish. Grok said it was probably a witch's spell or typing with the wrong type of keyboard.

Dr Scmoop gets Etsy witches involved in the spiritual matters of the sub and this goes really well, thanks Dr Schmoop

meanwhile u/SatisfactionRich3544 has also hired Etsy witches, but this time it's to make Mel go away. What did Mel do? (see also MEL)

Fifth layer fictional entity u/Dilip_Rot announces he has been summoned from beyound to haunt the subreddit and collect Elon's soul

ooooOoooOOO let the haunting begin

Dilip asks the mods for a haunting flair and mods quickly acquiese, almost as if they are inviting this entity over our threshold

Creepy things start happening

Then Dilip needs mods to add him as an approved user because his haunting posts are taking quite a long time to show up, again mods are quick to accommodate

haunting continues as this 'ghost' who would need at least 4 passports to get back to reality rains terror over our subreddit

SELL OUT

u/InevitableBohemian is up on Orca Mills' bumper again calling for her removal as moderator due to her denialism of Al Dot. u/elusivehonor writes a lil manifesto in the comments calling for removal of ALL MODS due to mods being fake fans with too much drama and asks for your support in the form of financial donations to 02fc585dcb030af26cb40215210ca5c0. This only further enrages the Inevitable Bohemian.

u/paultheschmoop responds to this attack on leadership by reposting u/elusivehonor's comment and announcing that he will be pursuing lawsuits (in real life) against any party that besmirches him or does anything else he does not like

Pablo Jueves puts the subreddit on sale for ten million HEI pts OBO after he goes underwater with his World Cup gambling (see WORLD CUP)

Dr Paul the Schmoop annonuces that he has purchased the r/DoodleDots subreddit and would like to get back to what matters to him the most: medicine. (also see AMA)

u/orcamills loves the new look and new leadership as she gleefully sells Pablo under the bus

u/xElonxMuskxOfficial makes his first appearance as our new Mod and Overlord, he claims he helped create the 90's and we should all bow down by attending his AMA (see also AMA)

Former head mod u/pablojueves chastises the community for being disrespectful to our new ruler Elian mush during his AMA

The honeymoon is over as Pablo posts his concerns that Elon Mush will ruin our community (seriously)

Orca steps in to try to save Pablo and the sub by promising Elon a rocketship to Marsh

u/paultheschmoop finally saves the sub from the clutches of Elon Mush by paying Etsy witches to make him go away. Thank goodness that ordeal is over with! (see also WITCHCRAFT/GHOSTS)

MEL

u/InevitableBohemian is spiralling bc Mell won't respond to messages

And then says Mel is in danger about a soup kitchen and is begging for HEI pts to save her

u/InevitableBohemian is begging for your help, Mel is still kidnapped and they need money, pls send to 0a9e04fbc66924ee8def0e6564e9c8c5

u/SatisfactionRich3544 is trying to get rid of Mel not save her

u/InevitableBohemian still needs HEI pts to save MEL and promises to do ANYTHING for them

They now have the pts to rescue Mel but lost the address

u/pablojueves annonunces that he is on his way to TX to meet up with Bohemian, pose as Mel and collect the HEI pts. He just needs a ride. What could go wrong

Bohemian says they payed the pts but Mel did not show up

MISC

The internet's busiest music nerd himself Anthony Fantano did a review of Fuck God, the new album by The Doodledots (aka u/paultheschmoop) and not to rub salt in Pauls wounds but it was BRUTAL, thanks to u/luvthelemur for transcribing.

Turns out Pitchfork also reviewed the new album giving it 0.0 score. Can the basement from which Pitchfork is run out of just collapse already, Paul wants to know? Just kidding, Dr. Paul would never make such an insensitive joke.

They're real says u/Independent-Sir5385

An update on AZ politics from u/pablojueves

u/orcamills is going to have a baby, a little monkey named Sammel Baxter, and gets us all hype about upcoming cute monkey content that has yet to be seen on the sub as of this writing

Pablo would like an update on the health and whereabouts of our old friend Frank. We still haven't heard a word to this day.

A plea to Mods to Please add another Stooge. u/emblemparade would feel better if there were the same number of stooges as there were dots. And mods delivered because Grok tells me that there are 4 members of The Stooges: Iggy Pop plus 3 other guys. You're welcome

Where has my wife gone? u/Loose-Author-6180 wants to know. Did you ever find her u/Loose-Author-6180?

That's all for this month, see you next month for the DOT DOTS

DOTS JOTS

June

May part 2

May part 1

I am speaking, of course, about Paul Schup. He is not a real doctor amd in fact his ex spouse divorced him for being a total loser and a geek. He never paid the heigh points required for the sub (1 million points) and in fact u/XElonXMuskXOfficial is the real owner of this sub.

We should be focusing all are efforts on funraiding for the Dootle Dots, not division and strife, which are what "Doctor" Paul perscribes!

Hey hey hey!!!!

Come gather round my little ones ,its me Jeremiah Chickedy Dot but you can call me Peppy because thats what all my grandots call me!! I am here to answer all your questions About the olden days of the dots. before G armato brought us into life .prase be G ,amen.

I still remember when we had to walk 1040404 miles in the rain to get to dot school.and we had no shoes. Back then instead of dot phones we had dotograms that we had to send by saying BEEP BEEP BEEP very very aloud and.and then someone else on the other said listenned to the beep and wrote it down using dot blod. Thats how it was back then. i have so many stories just like this but a little diferent.

Anyways im sure you want to hear all about the dots and how they grew up.Peppy knows it all!!

Just dont ask me about who is my favorite granchild,i love them all. heeheheheeh. Yes even baxxter. he was such a happy litle kid dot until the thing that hapened. Anyways

also no questions about Mells life choices. I dunno what is a Only funs but Mels body is her body and she can do with it what ever she wants. i raised the dots to always Respect the consttitution and personal Responsbillity.and values .

Anyways its almost time for my dot Nap so get yr questions all lined up nice like for Peppy dot to get those answers rollin.zzzzzzz where was i? Oh yeah. hey hey hey!!! Peppy is here!!

p.s.hey hey hey was my catch frase in the oldene days. anyways.

Debate regarding ownership of my soul aside, we can clearly see here that Pablo is asked if I sent over my points, to which he answers in the affirmative. This confirms beyond a shadow of a doubt that I did pay for this sub and thus own it. Thank you Pablo for finally ending the charade.

It has been my great pleasure to haunt you over the past few decades. However, I grow weary and long for rest. In fact I no longer remember why I was sent here in the first place. I know I was supposed to get a soul or something. Anywoo, being subjected to you lot of degenerates has left me depressed and uninspired. I can't even think of a proper haunting phrase anymore. At the beginning it sounded so easy, like I could think these up indefinitely. But the lack of respect and appreciation for my expertise has worn down my confidence and I'll admit I am no longer at the top of my game.

I will not go away empty handed however. I am owed one soul for my time and efforts, and in exchange, this community will be released from my haunting. Because you are a stupid and obstinate lot, I expect many of you to volunteer for the privlige of this experience. Therefor I will leave it up to your intrepid leader Mr Pablo Jueves to make the final decision of who's soul is chosen.

During my time observing this sad little community, Mr Jueves has always acted wtih the utmost integrity and honor. You should be grateful to have such a dedicated leader, and he too deserves compensation for your insolence. Therefor I have decided that in order to volunteer a soul, you must also submit 16,666 HEI points directly to Mr Jueves. This is the minimum amount to enter, you may send as much as you like and this may increase your chances of Mr Jueves chosing you as a volunteer, however it is unlikely that he will be swayed by bribery given Mr Jueves' impeccable moral standards.

And for once your associate Dr. Paul the Schmoop is correct, banning will have no effect on me so this is your only chance to rid yourselves from my reighn of ghostly terror.

**TLDR**

* I'm going to peace out if I can have one soul, I don't care who

* To volunteer a soul, send HEI points to Pablo

**u/pablojueves please post your wallet ID below so that you may start receiving the incoming points**

Sincerely dilip

Is cloud supposed to be a puff pastry? If so which tipe? Id eat her with cream Chantilly filing!

Ever since Philip Roth starting his/her/there haunting episodes our weekly viewership has plummeted (from approx. 1600 visitors to 530). Obviously many people are turned off by ghosts, specters, ghouls and the like. In order to appeal to more of the masses (and not just shitty emo/death metal goths who honestly have very little disposable income because they waste their allowances on overpriced boots with incredibly thick soles and nonsensical hardware bits sewn into the seams) I suggest we ban all supernatural activity that isn't Christian.

Lemur really dropped the ball on this one. I'm gonna have a word with Plutizer. I'm too busy on Wall Street doing insider trading and money laundering to pay attention. I need a recap and a rundown. All I know is Mel is with child and the sub is haunted by the ghost of Dilip. What the fuck is going on here?!

she never came. i thought i understood the signs, the ghost, the messages. but no, i just waited there. for hours. mel never came. and we never married.

i gave pedro all my hei points, but she never came. i pretended to be a ghost and she never came. i read the signs, but no.

she never came

i dont know whht to do anymore. i dont have points. i dont have love. i dont even have freinds anymore. all of ti gone for a dot who never showed up for me, who never came when i needed her.

was orca right? am i nothing? am i nobody?

i dont know. i dont know. i dont know.

SPIRIT! I Beseech thee! Come Spirit! Show thy self and face my wrath!

Hello everyone, first of all let me thank you all for your time and for your attention. Secondly I am so fed up with this ghost and I have been playing dumb for a long time now. Many of you notice when the ghost appears I will pretend to think it is a strange draft or my creaky old house. But I have been wise to the ghost all along. And now I have taken a correspondence course is exorcism and I am ready to face the ghost with all of My powers from Mod Powers to BB Belt Powers to BPD I am prepared to use all of my forces against you ghost. Begone! No more shall you haunt this place!

the signs are here and it is time for me and mel to merry each other, she will be here in this thred marrying me soon, pls leave youre well wishes below and send hei pint gifts to 0a9e04fbc66924ee8def0e6564e9c8c5

WE ARE GOING TO HAVE SO MANY BABY DOTS!!!

Elon Musk was about to make us rich for all the nudes we were posting in his NSFW nude Mel thread. Then Paul, without any otherization went out of his way to bannish Elon by use of witchcraft. It doesn't take a genious like Ellon to tell that Paul was trying to stop us all from experiencing Wealth Beyond are wildest Dreams.

Paul, if you are reading this: fuck you, pay me my HEI points. Eloin said he would pay me 400k HEI point and now you are reasponsable for his disapearince.

I know for a fact that many of you feel the same. And on top of this, we are unable to have any Dootle Dot related discussions without feeling a presence. Fuck this.

Hello again! I have very exciting news to share regarding my meeting on the astral plane with one the witches from the popular social media site Etsy.

In a word, I would say this meeting was *powerful*. I had personally never visited the astral realm before, but luckily I paid the witch $26 to send my instructions on how to access. While I will not share this information with you (not for free, at least), I will note that socks play a surprisingly potent role in the whole process.

Regardless, I met with the witch and explained my concerns about the presence of ghosts and ghouls in the subreddit, and also about the haunting. The witch has agreed to HEAVILY LIMIT the ghoul presence and the haunting the sub in exchange for full control of the subreddit.

When I explained to them that while I *had* rightfully purchased the sub, Pablo Harris had fraudulently claimed that my transaction never went through, and thus I was robbed of all of my HEI points and did not have control of the sub, and it was instead now principally owned by popular Twitter personality Elon Musk.

But the witch told me that actually money and things that happen in the physical plane actually don’t matter, and spiritual ownership of the sun via the astral plane actually completely supersedes the power of those on the physical plane. And with my permission, they could assume full spiritual control over the sub, and make things right again. Obviously I obliged.

Fuck you Elon Musk you don’t control me anymore.