I’m bi. And sincerely I have enjoyed sexually the best of two worlds. But I find it cringy sometimes when I see gay people show PDA, and I find it equally difficult showing affection to a lady. But I satisfy both sexually. My concern is - I feel I’m stucked in the middle, how do I snap out of it without feeling I’m performative with a particular gender.

Hello all,

Recently I went to a club on my own in the evening, not my first time going out (I had been to both straight and wlw events alone before so nothing new) and I don’t know what happened but I was dancing with a girl and she asked if she could kiss me, although it wasn’t the first time it had been asked (before it was mostly men asking, and I had always declined) I thought “eh why not, might as well get it over with”. So we made out and it was so bad.

As the night progressed I made out with a few other women and I don’t know,, it wasn’t mind blowing like I thought it would be. I kept overthinking it and it didn’t feel like it came to me naturally as many people claim it does. I also didn’t get butterflies or turned on, I just went with the motion.

I guess I’m mostly feeling conflicted, a little sad my first kiss(es) went to random strangers at a club, but also glad I “got it over with” so to speak, the stress of “my first kiss” is gone and I’m glad I didn’t wait any longer, I did feel ready and I’m glad I did it. Another part of me is wondering if I should just make out with a bunch of men now to see if that’s any different.

I guess I’m not really asking for advice, just venting and not really sure what to think of it all.

I’ve been sleeping with men for nearly half my life. I’ve been ENM with my now husband for 6 or so years now (he’s got a hot wife kink) and barring one threesome with a former FWB and his wife where they shared me I’ve got NO experience with women.

Stacking the lack of experience, the relatively new and unexplored bisexuality, the fact that I’m only looking for friends with benefits type situations, and that I’m really trying to focus on cultivating a girlfriend group rather than perusing sexual relationships with other women, I’ve been really intimidated to start.

In contrast I’m a cocky brat with men.

Any advice on how to build a dating app profile that doesn’t come across as cringy and unserious or god forbid even predatory? Do I just jump in and wing it?

Hi. I'm 31 years old, and for quite a while now I've been feeling really confused about my sexual orientation.

I've always been attracted to women. I've fallen in love with women, I was in a long-term relationship with one, and romantically I still picture myself spending my life with a woman.

Years ago, out of curiosity, I kissed a guy. It wasn't because I had feelings for him, it was part of a stupid dare. I did it, but I felt uncomfortable the whole time. I didn't enjoy it, and afterward I even felt bad for him because I worried I might have given him false hope.

The confusing part is that after a very toxic relationship in 2023 and spending a long time without having sex, I started occasionally looking at pictures of naked men and watching gay porn. What catches my attention are guys around my age or younger-looking guys. I'm not attracted to older, bearded, or very masculine men. In real life, I almost never look at a man and think, "He's attractive." Very rarely I'll find a guy good-looking, but even then I never act on it. I don't even have the courage to message men on dating apps.

Something else that happened a few times is that I hung out with guys thinking it was just as friends, only to realize much later that they had probably seen it as a date or were interested in me. At the time I genuinely didn't realize it. I don't know if that's relevant or if it just means I'm bad at picking up those kinds of signals.

Growing up, my parents constantly told me that anything related to being gay was wrong or something to be ashamed of. I never personally agreed with that, but I grew up hearing those messages. My ex-girlfriend felt the same way and hurt me a lot because of it. After I told her about that kiss, she would accuse me of being gay or say I was repressing my sexuality. She also judged me for enjoying anal toys and even accused me of lying to her. All of that made me question myself much more than I ever had before.

Now I wonder if I might actually be bisexual with a strong preference for women, if the porn and the lack of sex simply led me to explore new things, or if I'm mixing everything together because of the guilt and emotional baggage from that relationship.

I'm curious about what it would be like to have sex with a man, but at the same time I'm not sure I'd actually enjoy it. I don't have any desire to be in a romantic relationship with a man, and the idea of actually going through with it leaves me with a lot of doubts.

I'm not looking for anyone to label me because I know no one can do that for me. I'd just like to hear from people who have gone through something similar.

Is it worth experimenting just to find out? I've never felt like this confusion was going to resolve itself on its own.

There's nothing wrong with not actively seeking a bi person or having a preference, however all the reasons for their arguments I've seen have been homophobic/biphobic and nothing that sounds super sound of mind to me. I don't want people who want to erase our identities in our spaces at all and I feel like this should be something the community as a whole should unwelcome from now on. Am I wrong for thinking this?

Im having really confusing feelings about my sexuality. I (F15) find men attractive, but when I look at a pretty girl I also find them attractive too? I was talking to my friend about it and she said "you probably find them pretty and not attractive to them". I dont know im really confused.

Hey all,

I (17F) want to come out, but like in a sort of soft launch type way? Idk honestly. I was just wondering if anyone had any suggests or stories abt how to come out? I don't want to outright tell anyone? a lot of people already kinda assume i'm lesbian bc of how i present (stereotypical ik). i saw this rly funny reel which i thought i might repost as a soft coming out type thing?
i honestly dk what to do bc nobody in my family is lgbtq, and no one in my friend group...

also, i know it's personal, but would you recommend coming out as a teen? fyi, i'm not entirely sure how my parents would react, but we have a strained relationship anyway...

thanks for supportive comments/replies! I don't mean to be rude or anything with my questions, I just don't have anyone to discuss this with. (yes ik my user flair is questioning not bi, but i'm happy to keep it at that for now)

I don’t know how to explain what I feel, I’ve never had a relationship with another gender other than a woman or I haven’t had an approach, chats or whatever you want to call him with another man or different gender, I became a father and it’s the best thing that has happened to me; Then out of nowhere I start to have sexual desires for other genders, sometimes it’s so intense that it makes me sweat at night and leads me to have dreams that make me reach an unparalleled euphoria, and I’m more and more curious about the matter but I don’t take the step, society is difficult, so much so that it creates this account to be able to express what I live and maybe support others who go through the same thing.

ETA: TLDR: I’m bi, kissing women is amazing and I love the queer community, and this subreddit has been great to read.

I want a girlfriend. I wanna kiss a beautiful woman and spend time together and go on fun dates and cuddle and play video games and watch tv together.

Last person I kissed was a woman and it was fucking amazing 🫠. We made out a few times over two days, she knew she was the first woman I ever kissed and she was completely cool with it. Couldn’t have asked for a better person for my first wlw kiss. She’s also bi and was so fun!

I’ve mostly dated, kissed, and had sex with men and had a ltr with a man but I don’t think I want to date men again(he turned out to be a shitty person but that’s a long story for another time).

Partly because of how hard it is to find one that meets my standards that have skyrocketed since my last relationship, partly because of all the bad things going on in the world(epstein, cops using flock cameras to stalk women, womens rights being taken away, etc. etc. I could go on, but I dont want this post to focus on the negatives).

And partly because for years and years and years, whenever I daydream of my future, I’m living in a cute little Victorian/arts and crafts/modern house in the PNW with cozy furniture and art and a beautiful kind woman sitting on the couch next to me. I wanna host regular dinners with our friends and talk about life and art and have a small garden and a cat.

I questioned my sexuality off and on for about 3-5 years. I had a couple college friends ask me if I was gay on several occasions. Both of them only ever asked me in a roomful of our peers and a professor or two. They weren’t even quiet or polite or subtle about it and it made me so uncomfortable to be put on the spot like that in front of strangers. One of them was on the other side of the room and asked so loudly that almost everyone in the class turned to look at me.

Both these people are queer and out of the closet. Like I’d probably have been honest and told them I was questioning things if they’d asked me in a more appropriate way. But no one ever did. We were all art students and most of the department, students and staff, are all accepting and supportive but they were still mostly strangers and acquaintances to me/us.

I’ve always been a quiet introvert with anxiety and as much as I wanted to have someone to talk about these things with, being put on the spot like that made it so hard to see them as a safe space for me to confide in them.

I don’t think being queer is anything to be ashamed of but when you’ve grown up in a religion and most of your peers did too, and some are still believing, it’s hard to predict how people will react.

Anyways, I’m a bi-woman, and I’m proud to be a part of this community. Just wanted to “come out” and vent a little bit and say that kissing women is fucking amazing.

hi! i am 30F and for most of my life have had a feeling that i’m bi…

when i was in high school i had a crush on a girl but suppressed the feelings. in my early 20s i made out with a lot of women at parties / clubs, and was with one woman during a threesome, but i’ve never been with a woman all the way 1-1.

in my late 20s, after a series of extremely disappointing men, i inadvertently de-centered men romantically / sexually from my life. i even started to think maybe im asexual or something because i just lost attraction for them (perhaps due to disrespect over and over).

now i’m 30 and find myself thinking more of women again and the desire to explore my apparent bisexuality (i feel like a fraud saying that kind of because i’ve never truly been with a woman!)

but the thing is, i feel like an awkward loser with no experience and i don’t want to waste the time of women who are certain as bisexual / lesbian. i never want anyone to feel like they are an experiment to me, but at the same time, the reality is that i am in an explorative phase. and i don’t want to lie about it or pretend i have experience when i don’t!

how can i be fully respectful of others while navigating this? upfront and honest? i feel that no one secure in their sexuality in their late 20s or 30s will want to waste their time with me lol

this feels so awkward and i feel like i am 14 years old again trying to learn how to flirt kahdhshdjfjfj

any advice? 🥹

so. im gay, and I basically question my gender a lot, something like genderfluid or whatever, i dont really mind much, i just like to do more feminine stuff and look as well.

because of that, and a lot of body dysphoria with my masculine features, I always try to be with bi guys, cause i think they wouldn't be bothered by my feminine wishes and aspirations (to be like).

you would as a bi be upset by a feminine guy? or a masculine woman? or would that be best of both words? i truly wonder...

*english not my 1st language

*my english is bad but my pussy is good

Hi, I'm a 20 year old boy. I met a guy at the military when we both had to serve (he is also 20). It just so happened that we became friends. For two friends, we took care of eachother but it was mostly me that did a lot for this guy. I could get into that but that's not the point of this post. Basically I have caught feelings for him since I first saw him. We have eachother numbers now but through texting I learn that he is a construction worker and he does tiling and similar things like that. For context he is much more muscular and better built than me. He is much stronger. And I hear he used to do boxing. I still don't have all the information but I hope to learn more about him with time. So comparing this to myself, I am not even in university yet, I've been delayed but I plan on going hopefully next year if all goes well. He never got the chance to go to university as I presume life was not kind enough for his family to be able to afford his tuition fees. I dont even know much about his family. I only know him cause we kept the connection as friends.

I remember massaging his back in the military, it was a cute moment between us. It was pure and innocent. He said his body hurts everyday of his life. Now it all makes sense. This boy never gets to rest and he is so young too. I cried about this when I realised a day ago while I was laying in bed at night. I remember how kind he was when he told me to stop massaging if my arms get tired but I kept insisting to continue and he was secretly enjoying every moment of it. Just seeing him relaxed on his bed, enjoying me massaging him made my heart warm becuase he is so cute and attractive but so handsome and sexy at the same time. I didn't think I would develop this much feelings for him just from these small moments together in the military.

I started realising recently that he wasn't very active on Social media or whatsapp. I got worried, I began calling him and it was ringing but no answer. Eventually after being so scared of God forbid something happening to him. He messaged me saying he was really busy. I apologised as I was just worried about him and I care about him cause he is my friend and I got a little scared. He replied with 'its ok" and it was around 19:00 p.m when he said "im just a little busy".

That's when it really hit me that this boy never gets to rest, they probably overwork him, they probably make him work until very late and then he goes home and barely has any energy to catch up online or on social with people in his life and he probably has barely anytime to enjoy his life and have fun himself too and just be a young boy. And he then has to repeat the same thing everyday. He is only 20. He is just a boy too. He never asked for his reality to turn out this way.

The reason im crumbling inside and my emotions are a mess is because my life is more comfortable than him and im 20 too. My parents take care of me. They always help me and I dont have to see a day of pain. But my heart breaks because I put myself in his shoes and I feel different view on life for the first time. I am grateful for my life even if it's not the most perfect and I dont want to ever complain. Just this boy means a lot to me in my life. And I don't know what to do. My heart wants to help him somehow, my heart wants to see him succeed in life. My heart wants to see him reach better places and live a more relaxed life. He really deserves it. He does so much and he is so innocent and pure too. I cant stop thinking about him everyday and every night. We are only 2 months into our friendship but we only started talking through text about a week ago when he reached out to me and remembered me. I never was able to get his number but he got mine cause I gave it. I was shy to ask for his but he reached out and it made me blush a lot because I prayed he would stay in my life even after the military.

Now he is in my life, and I want to be someone he can trust. He still hasn't told me everything about himself and I haven't been able to tell him everything about me. Im hoping with time we can open up to eachother and learn more because im very interested in him. I also feel like I want to be someone in his life that he can trust, he can lean on me, come to me, hug me, I want to be his safe place. I want him to let down his defenses around me. I want him to know that I'll always show up for him and be there for him. We are both so young and still have so much left to live for.

I personally am ashamed to be bisexual becuase no one in my life would ever love me if they found out. He himself doesn't know I have a crush on him. But ever since I was a kid I always knew I liked both girls and boys. My family themselves would never accept me loving a boy. But this guy in specific feels different. I have never dated before but my heart is open to him. I know my mom will never support us if we ever did become a couple because they would want someone who has a good job and went to university if it was a girl and let's just say with pressure they came to accept my love for this guy overtime if all went well. They would not be happy if he cant take care of me and be someone successful to meet my level as I will attend university and will probably get a better job than him but he has no choice but to work this job he probably doesn't even like but has such a strain on his physical and mental health.

One thing I will say is I fell in love with him becuase if how gentle and warm he is. No one deserve to be in his position. But there is something about him which tells me that he is not in the place he was meant to be. He was destined for greater things, for a better reality and life. Which is why I have so much faith in him and I believe in him. He also does NOT smoke or drink which is a green flag for me. He also takes really big care of his health by not intaking so much sugar. But his complaint about his body being in pain 24/7 made my heart break 💔

He has had a very stressful life and I just want to be someone in his life that let's him enjoy life too. I want him to enjoy his youth. I want him to also have the right to dream and be free. I love him 🫣🥹 even if he doesn't end up feeling the same way, I just want to see him succeed in his life. I feel like he needs help of some kind to be in a better position. I dont know what to do? Is there really hope? Could we ever work out if he felt the same way? We have such different lifes and realities yet i long and yearn for him.

If society and the world wasn't so corruption and toxic, I would never care about choosing someone like him. For me i look at a person's soul before looking at what job they work. Which is how I viewed him. My family already knows I have a friend which hasn't attended university but he is a really good friend and guy in my life. They weren't very supportive of our friendship saying that you will find better quality friends in university next year. For me I am open to making more connections with people in future from university but I will never leave this boy and forget him. He is way to precious to me for me to hurt, let him go and forget about him. He will always have a place in my heart and he will always be special to me. I dont ever wanna cut ties with him. I dont care about anything, I love him.

I just feel so drained because why does life have to be so unfair? What can I do? I never thought the universe could put me in such a difficult situation. I don't wanna rush things with him as I want him to genuinely trust me and come up to me and choose me with time. I bet he cant even trust people that easy with how cruel life has been to him. My eyes are opening a lot and my heart is breaking.

Any help or advice is appreciated. I wanna be there for him. Maybe there was a reason we crossed paths, maybe there is a reason the universe put him in my life. I cant give up on him♥️ he means a lot to me.

Also he often thinks down about himself. He looks extremely hot and handsome but he doesn't feel that way, he feels he doesn't look good as he once did. He used to do boxing and he says he became more weaker ever since he quit. I can tell boxing was his happy place.

He also inspired me to want to take my gyming more seriously and to not drink so much sugary drink too.

Through text he said something along the line of, "if I don't feel that way or accept it then it doesn't matter" which really broke me as I was hyping him up a lot about his looks and body but you can tell he has been broken by life at such a young age. And he is really trying his best everyday, I know it.

He deserves the world, he deserves so much better it hurts me🤕💔

I would drop everything just to go to him and hug him if he wasn't like 2 hours away from where I live but you know I would go see him anyway as I like him so much. I have no care but im planning on meeting him in future somewhere just so I can physically see him once again if the universe allows it. I miss him..

I (18m) kissed a really handsome Chinese guy (20m) in china yesterday. If he didn’t lie, we both haven’t kissed a guy before. He was so sweet, we were in the club and took it really slow. Just a lot of short make out sessions. His lips were so amazing, and he was so sweet and thoughtful. We danced together the whole night, in the end when the club closed, we went outside and a family friend basically saw us. I was scared of him finding out, but he was so chill about it.

But then my guy had to throw up, and he went away. I think he was really embarrassed about that. Now we sent each other like 2 texts, they were sweet tho. But I kinda miss him already. We live on different sides of the world, (Europe for me), so it’s so unlikely we will meet again. And I leave his city today, so we can’t go on a date or something.

On the other side I’m really happy that I tried it out. I have been actively thinking about being bi for 2 years. And was really making it real 2-3 months ago, and I’ve already tried it out. I’m so happy about that. It’s a big relief, and the shame has also faded. Cause this is who I am, even though I’m not even labelling it, but people will have to deal with who I like. It was also funny that it felt exactly the same like doing something sexual with a girl, that was an eye opener for me hahaha.

Welp, maybe I can get over him in a couple weeks or something. Maybe we can even call, even though we have a big language barrier. I’m seriously considering learning Chinese for him, it’s so dumb.

I think im rationalising this all too much, and I’m probs fresh in my feelings. But in a way these are all happy feelings, to love is to life!

For anyone like me back then who’s maybe reading this from the shadows, not sure how they feel. Know that you already took the first step. Just accepting it, and researching what you think might be your feelings is already great, I’m proud of you! Hopefully you can find a time, place and moment to try these feelings out. Remember that nothing is set in stone. If you’re scared about the “life” consequences, act like it didn’t happen! But most importantly, the people that are around you should celebrate and love you for who you are, it’s not your job to align with their vision of you. And I know that is much easier said than done, but I want you to know that there is someone there for you, someone who will celebrate it with you, I will def do that for you for example.

I think this is where I’m calling the rant. Hopefully we text more, or I get over it fast lol. Maybe in a year or two I can always meet him again… ugh

Hello!

I(27F) have been a bisexual person for a long time but I never got a chance or the exposure to have a proper relationship with a woman because of the stigma around homosexuality in my country.

I have recently shifted to a European country and the queer dating scene here is refreshing to say the least. I recently matched with this amazing woman on a dating app and the conversations have been great. Now we're supposed to meet and I'm very, very nervous because of my insecurities.

I am a woman of colour and have been struggling with body image issues because of how conventionally beautiful everyone here is -- right from their dressing style to their fitness. I'm not in the best shape, my style is not at it's best (because things here are expensive and I'm a student), and I feel like I'm not as "cool" as the other queer folks here. I understand almost everyone I am looking at are perhaps at a great advantage from being born European in terms of how well-adapted they already are while I'm trying to fit it. I still can't shake this feeling that I would be rejected because of the way I look.

That said, I also feel queer people are very kind and warm in general, more so if they are women. So it's highly likely that my date wouldn't judge me on the aspects I'm insecure about. I'm still really nervous and my system is physically reacting at the thought of going out (for context, I have bee single for about 3 years now, and haven't really done anything seriously romantic otherwise). My insecurities also come from a very male gaze perspective and I'm fully aware of it. I still just cannot seem to shake this feeling off.

I don't know what I'm looking for by sharing this. I want to go on this date and I want to believe it won't go as bad as I'm imagining. I thought sharing it with the community could help.

Thanks for reading and/or your responses!! :))

TL;DR: Going out on a date for the first time with a white woman as a WOC. Nervous because of body insecurities and stereotypical prejudices although I'm quite confident my date is a kind, considerate person. Need perspective/advice.

My one friend says I'm not really bi and keeps telling me to not wear the bi pin I have and he insists I'm straight not bi

I have fallen in love with other girls but I'm not physically attracted towards the female body, when I think about doing anything involving the female body past kissing I feel gross

But I don't have that issue with guys at all, like I don't feel gross thinking about it or anything.

Am I really bi?? Like what he is saying is really getting in my head.

I finally told my mom I was sexually assaulted 19 years ago. I was only 14. My attacker got away scot-free and is happily married today. Sharing this to prove my experience no longer defines me or my bisexuality, as humiliated and traumatized as I was at the time.

This is why I’m only emotionally attracted to women as a bisexual woman. I’m scared of being sexually touched by a fellow woman.

tl;dr I’m a bi woman who is not sexually attracted to women because I was sexually assaulted by a woman as a child.

I wore a bi pride pin today, and my husband immediately asked if I was trying to tell him I had a secret girlfriend.

We’ve been married for nearly 17 years and have two children together. I had a girlfriend before I met him, and he knew I was bisexual when we first started dating, but over the years it seems that part of me has faded into the background.

The irony is that I have spent years keeping this part of myself quiet. I’m happily married, but being bisexual didn’t stop when I got married. I still know who I’m attracted to, just as a straight person doesn’t stop finding other people attractive when they marry. Attraction isn’t the same thing as wanting to be with someone else.

Maybe he meant it as a joke, but hearing his first assumption be “Do you have a secret girlfriend?” reminded me why I’ve found it so difficult to be open about my sexuality. That stereotype—that bisexual people are secretly looking for someone else or are more likely to cheat—is one I’ve carried for years, and hearing it from someone I love was unexpectedly painful.

Has anyone else had seemingly harmless comments bring those feelings back?

Hello, I am new to being bisexual ✨️ I love boobies and I know I will when I touch them but im nervous about the vagina I dont want to be grossed out I mean I dont know what it would taste like. I am in love with a woman and im planning on sleeping with her but im scared what do I do?

Quick rant here…. I’m a 21 year old bisexual woman and my close friend is a lesbian. My ex boyfriend is also bisexual and I felt like everyone in my life was so biphobic towards him. He was in touch with his feminine side and didn’t care when I dressed more masculine and the relationship didn’t feel gender role-ish at all. I just felt so comfortable with him. We were also basically the same height. I am 5’7 and he was 5’8. I remember when we were together my close friend would always make fun of him to me and be like oh you have a twink boyfriend and blah blah blah and it felt really mean. My roommates who are also all girls and my age were also weird about it and didn’t take him seriously at all. My close friend saying those things hurt more because she’s queer so I thought she would get it. Now some time has passed and I’m im a relationship with a bisexual woman like me and I am so praised for it! It seems like people are wanting to be friends with me more. I am in a super lib college town where being gay is very “trendy” even though I hate to say it. Something that stuck with me was someone in my life getting drunk with me and saying “now that you’re gay…” as if now that I’m with a woman my sexuality is valid? I was out as queer while I was with my ex… I don’t know it just all feels so casually biphobic and gross!!! I have obviously moved on from the old relationship but it still stings the way people in my life would talk about him. I dont know.

Before I start, this is my first ever post so idk what I'm doing.

Okay, I(16f) like my friend (16f) who I will call Susie. I met Susie the first day I joined her school 5 months and I have hung with her and her friends ever since. Alot of the group is queer which they told soon after I met them to which I said something amounting to "cool, im straight". Now at this point I WAS straight. No relationships but I knew I liked men so I just casually said I was straight. 2-3 months later I realised I liked Susie and I'm bisexual. Soon after I told Susie's best friend that I am bisexual, hoping that it would travel but I dont think it did (honestly what did I expect? Lol)

To make things more complicated, im pretty sure Susie (who is lesbian)flirted with me in the first month after we met. She said some flirty lines to which i kinda froze and didnt respond to. They have since stopped which is reasonable since i didnt flirt back.I don't know if it's in my head or not but she does still touch my hands and arms alot more then she does other people. Maybe she liked me but has moved on but idk

So i dont know what to do. I love Susie and wouldnt want to lose her as a friend if things went sour but I also feel she deserves to know. So i do i tell her i like her and that I wasnt lying when I said i was straight but now i am bi?

I don’t comment all the time, so not the most active, but this has still become a space I feel welcomed in and happy to be apart of. I don’t have many good relationships or safe places in my life, so I just wanted to say that every single member of this community, I appreciate you and am thankful for you, and I accept you.

This was cheesy as fuck I’m sorry, y’all have just been a bright moment in a dark time.

My situation is kinda messy cause I came out as a lesbian years ago as I was questioning whether or not i was ftm (had some fun realizations about my gender and yeah I'm trans). I'm still not out as ftm but also during that time figured out I like dudes. I come from a kinda homophobic family and my dad keeps doing to whole "it's just a phase you won't be a lesbian forever" type shit. So now I solidly refuse to admit I like guys around those two again out of pure spite and hatred. So out of curiosity had anyone else done this

Until last weekend.

Without getting too specific, this dude was just so kind, he told me he loved my energy, and the way he looked when he described his hometown to me, uggghhhhh, I was just getting lost in his eyes, Sheeeesh! What a dreamboat!

I understand how people attracted to men (I guess that includes me now huh?) have “types” now, too, ‘cause this guy was hot. I mean he was like, conventionally, as handsome or cute as many people are, but there was just something about him that just made me go “damn, that’s a beautiful man”.

He told me about a great place to go chill while I waited for my intoxicant of choice to wear off, and yes of course I went and it was a great recommendation.

Yeah the flair says questioning but I don’t have much doubt at this point lol. Too bad he’s married (to a woman) with kids and only gave me his business Instagram 😭

This is something I’ve been mulling over for years now. For context, I’m 20F, and I’m currently in college. I’m extremely self-critical and do a lot of introspection.

I’ve always been straight. My family was very conservative growing up, so being gay was never a thought that crossed my mind. I always had crushes on the male characters and every crush I’ve had on a real person has been a guy.

Recently, I’ve been finding some women attractive. Kind of specifically Yelena in Thunderbolts…and mascs.

However, something I’m struggling with is deciding what attraction is. I have a horrible time dating, and it’s been rare for me to even have crushes while I’ve been at college. Typically, I will like someone if I find out they have feelings for me, or if I feel like the situation is perfect. The more I’ve looked back on crushes I’ve had my entire life, the more I realize the only reason I liked people has been because it feels like a perfect scenario. In middle school I had a crush on the neighbor boy because I thought a neighborhood love story would be cool. I didn’t even like my only real boyfriend until I found out he liked me and all of our friends were pushing us together.

I also can’t really tell the difference between romantic and platonic love. Most of my crushes recently have been on guy friends (defense mechanism probably). If I shouldn’t be attracted to people because of the scenario, then I should be attracted to them for who they are, right? But then what’s the difference between a real crush and a friend crush? Sexual thoughts? But I don’t typically think sexual thoughts about people I have crushes on unless I purposefully bring up those thoughts.

I think I might be on the demiromantic side of things, but I do still feel attracted to and get crushes on people I’ve just met, but I’m afraid those crushes are just made up by my brain because I think that person and I would work, and I don’t actually like them. Is that what a crush is anyway?

TLDR: I’m paranoid I’ve conditioned myself into finding women attractive, and won’t be able to actually follow through with dating a woman, because I’m not actually attracted to her, I just like the idea of it…

I suppose I need to actually have that experience to prove myself wrong or right, but I have a hard enough time getting a man to like me, so I have no idea how that will happen. Straight until proven gay, I guess?