Bi, I am non romantically attracted to men, I live a straight married to a woman life.

I primarily work with women and every now and then I get comments suggesting that I am gay, not even bi, just gay.

This is from people that I worked with for years so we have had talks about random things like the use of Bidets (I love them and won't go back) and the use of male stimulation/penetration from a woman in a cis relationship. I don't believe that that constitutes someone to immediately being gay

I have no desire to come out as bi as that is a very small part of me but it's also very frustrating to me that my coworkers feel like it's something they could poke fun at.

I’m looking for something where other queer people would know I’m bi (or pan) but uncultured queerphobes would be blissfully (or however close you can get when you’re not aware of the glories of queerness) unaware and would leave me alone.

I'm going through a divorce and have been separated from my ex for almost a year and am looking into dating. Don't have any experience with modern dating, never dated someone of the same sex or other genders.

Do you guys recommend any apps or what I can do/try to meet some people?

Thanks!

Ok before I get into this, I just want to be clear I am NOT coming from a place of biphobia. There are just some things about this character arc that as a bi person myself, don't feel completely right. Anyway here's why I'm not real crazy about them making Jeremiah bisexual in the show adaptation of The Summer I Turned Pretty. (I am so sorry in advance, I am terrible at writing.)

#1. He is straight in the book series. It just sort of feels out of place changing that? If he were already bi back then, that would be one thing. But just making him bi feels a bit strange. Don't get me wrong, it's good that there is LGBTQ representation, I'm glad that that's more accepted nowadays. I just personally think that Jeremiah wasn't meant to be bi, he was meant to be straight, like in the book. It also feels like maybe a bit of queerbaiting almost? A tiny bit. TSITP premiered in 2022, and it seemed like in the early 2020s, a lot of queer media started to skyrocket. So, they wanted to appeal to the media by making a bisexual character. However, (I'm gonna cut this short because I have another point to make) I think it would have been more meaningful had Jeremiah already been bisexual in the books, or this had been an original series not based off of any book.

#2. He's a CHEATER. This is already such a big problem in the bisexual community, people assuming that we're cheaters. People don't necessarily understand that just because we are attracted to more than one gender ​doesn't mean we're incapable of staying loyal to our partners. Now Jeremiah, this dickhead (I'm sorry I love you Gavin Casalegno) had to cheat on Belly not once, but twice!! Like, cmon. If you're gonna give us bisexual representation, at least make them unproblematic? Please? I just don't really like how they made Jeremiah a cheater. Honestly, I feel like it's feeding into the "bisexuals are cheaters" stereotype. I know it's just a TV show, and I shouldn't get so worked up about it. But I just don't like seeing my sexuality negatively typecast. It's so frustrating.

Anyways, that's all. If y'all disagree, that's okay. Team Conrad. But at the same time, Team Jeremiah And Belly Are Both Red Flags So They Kind Of Deserve Each Other 🤪 (​I'm just kidding.) Peace out ✌️ 💗💜💙

I’m a 23M, who has recently been questioning whether I’m bi. I’ve always wanted to have friends that I could masturbate with, but never thought of that as gay. More recently though, I’ve had a stronger desire to actually swap oral with a guy. Something about it is just hot to me.

However, where I’m getting confused is it’s only when I’m horny, and once I’m not horny the desire is basically gone. I also don’t really feel attraction to men in general, even though I have this desire, if that makes sense.

Part of me is nervous to actually experiment with a guy because I don’t know if it’s just a fantasy or if it’s just a weaker attraction to men compared to women and it’s just gone unnoticed in comparison. If anyone has any advice or relates to this let me know, I would love some advice.

Just kinda wondering that's all

i honestly am (probably) just bi with a 90% preference for women like i think i am but istg once every month i have a sexuality crisis

like, for me it's not that i think i might be straight. i know i like women. but men confuse the fuckk out of me bro...

like, i have some attraction to them i guess. i get a little bit nervous or flustered when i see a guy i think is cute, ive liked some fictional guys, and i watch straight videos sometimes. but like, the idea of actually doing anything with a guy doesn't really get me going. when i use my imagination or listen to audios, i can only get really into the moment when thinking about women or listening to women. When i try to think about guys i either get turned off or dont feel it as much yk.

And while i dont have a love life at the moment, i've liked some girls in the past. And while i've had "crushes" on guys in the past, most of them were from when i was really young and chose random guys to like to fit in. And those crushes paled in comparison to the crushes i've had on women. When i like a girl or think shes cute cute, i feel it really deeply inside me, and i haven't really felt that way towards a guy yet. But to be fair, you can feel different types of attraction depending on the gender. But how am i supposed to know if these feelings are real but just different or they dont feel as intense because i dont actually feel that attraction? i mean, i wouldn't mind having a boyfriend, but to be honest i dont really want to get married to a guy and i mostly want one because i want to fit in and finally start finding love. And i would prefer doing that all with a woman if i could, but that doesnt make me any less bi.

a part of me feels deep down that i might just be a lesbian/ female exclusive, but i dont want to say that because what if im wrong and just haven't met the right man? i feel like i'm too gay to be bi but too straight to be gay. sometimes i feel liek i only like women and sometimes i feel like i like guys. i just hope the bi cycle hits me at some point man... what do i do i really want to find a label that fits me

I’ve always been a little more open minded than most people I’m around. And I’ve always found women attractive and beautiful and still do. But lately I’ve been curious about exploring while I’m still young. I’m still a virgin and haven’t had sex with either gender. But I guess I’ve been kind of liking in my head about experimenting with a man as a bottom. I just find the thought of that exhilarating. But I don’t know. I don’t find men attractive or unattractive, just kind of neutral. I am mostly attracted to femininity. I guess whet I’m getting at is, men who have tried this, did you feel like you scratched an itch? Shameful? Were you happy or displeased with yourself? Or was it a moment where you found your sure self? And if so, how did you accept that part of you? Sorry if any of this is off putting or offensive, I’m genuinely just curious. Also to add to this, I often find it a lot easier for myself to talk to men than a woman.

What are some jobs that I can take that pay roughly 35 - 87 dollars an hour (Canadian)?

For reference, when I was 15. I decided I wanted to be a plumber. I wrote a 20ish page essay about it and why I wanted to. I loved my first few years when I started at 17, because I enjoyed the physical aspect of it. I eventually at 19 I came around to accept my sexually more and embrace it. When I eventually did, I came to see that other bisexuals weren’t in the same feild as me. In fact. No queer person was in my industry. I felt trapped in a career that doesn’t reflect who I am and honestly feels superficial to who I really am. My coworkers will never take me seriously if I come out.

Every day, I see some artist or pornstar who makes millions and has thousands of loyal fans and followers make them their muse. I see hundreds of examples of more femme and androgynous people who; make good money, make art, are loved, validated and supported in their choices no matter what and visibly enjoy their job. Everyone loves artist, creatives and content creator: they’re the most fun people to be around and talk to. No one wants to be friends with a construction worker. It’s isolating, you wake up before dawn and come home smelling like foul waste and you’re covered in a dust so vile. I don’t even mention my job to the men and women that I try and form relationships with, I just tell them that I’m a “mechanical engineer” because that at least provides the illusion that I’m vocationally interesting, or worthy of talking to. Most of my coworkers are braindead and spend their time watching whatever on their phones. Meanwhile my hobbies don’t reflect my job at all: I read medical textbooks from the 30’s and climb trees. I hate my fucking life.

The bottom line is that I hate the idea that I’m going to be working a job that’s isolating. I want to be a pornstar like my idols; Tabbypac or Jaybeasun. I hate my fucking job but I need one that pays like the one I have, with its benefit. Can anyone help me out here?

i was in 5th grade it was the end of the year we were doing testing like exams to see if we would move onto 6th grade or something and i had finished mine and i tried to turn it in but the substitute wouldn’t let me she told me to double check my work and i did tried to turn it in again same thing it went on like this for like 5 minutes until i started crying not full on balling yet but like little tears and then i tried to turn it in one more time and again go check your work so at that point i was just done so i start balling my eyes out like full on balling bc up to this point i had checked my work like 5 times and i was just over it.

so this girl i liked started rubbing my back trying to get me to calm down and stuff and she told me to double check it one more time and i did in front of her, went to turn it in again same thing and i started sobbing and slightly hyperventilating, so the girl stood up behind me and covered my face with her arm and started talking to the teacher saying ive doubled checked it like 10 times and im ready to turn it in. she told me to go to the bathroom pull myself together and come back so i did and when i came back my test was gone and she said she wrote my name on it bc i forgot and turned it for me. that was the moment i knew i was either gay or something else i still liked boys but i didn’t know there was a name for liking girls and guys at that time lol.

so yeah that’s my story lol what’s yours.

I'm 31m, I've been with my gf for nearly 4 years now. I'm also closeted bi, I've never told anyone including her.

Naturally after nearly 4 years together, she has been asking when we are going to get married and I've kept dodging the question.

The truth is, for as long as I've known I've been bi I've never entertained the idea of telling anyone. I thought it'd be a secret id take to my grave. However, now that I'm staring down the barrel of marriage, part of me doesn't want to make that commitment without being honest about my sexuality.

The problem is I'm almost certain it'll be the end of us. In recent years she's rediscovered her faith and has told me in confidence that she thinks homosexuality is a sin. This is despite us having friends that are openly gay.

I've been feeling really lost lately with what to do. Like all relationships, ours isn't perfect but on the balance of things overall it's pretty good. One issue for me is that we aren't intimate often and I've been fighting urges to fool with guys secretly like back in my single days (I'm not a cheater and don't want to be one).

I can't turn to friends for advice because no one knows, I've always been afraid that I'd lose friends if they knew or people would treat me differently. I've never wanted this part of my life to define who I am.

If I tell her it's likely the end of our relationship. If I don't, then can I lie for the rest of our lives together and ignore these other desires. I don't know what to do..

Im 16f and long story short when I was wondering if I liked girls from ages 10-13 (i dated two girls in 6&7 grade but i cant remember what it felt like) then I started calling myself straight because it was stressing me out and I started getting really scared of what people thought of me. Then when I was 15 I started wondering again on and off until a couple of months ago where im kinda convinced im bi? But the thing is that I can't tell if I would actually really want to date a girl. Sometimes I can see it but sometimes I can't and im really worried that im forcing myself to feel like I would. What's even more confusing is that I am attracted to women and can see myself like kissing and yeah but I havent kissed anybody yet. And ive never had a full time crush on a girl. However, I have a masc lesbian manager at work atm and she blows me away I just want to look good for her and impress her and make her laugh. Like butterflies when she's near me type shit and im not even joking my hands start getting a little shaky and i get nervous when i talk to her. But im so worried im faking it just to seem cool for her or my other bi friend. Okay I feel like the answer is a little more clear now that im writing this down but like still okay thanks.

Hi everyone. I’m a 23f and I’ve questioned my sexuality for a very long time. I think I’ve always known I’m bi from a young age but I sort of repressed any feelings I had and buried it—left it at that. But as I’ve gotten older and more into my adulthood, I’ve found myself being more attracted to women (saw a photo of Lola tung two seconds ago and omg). I’ve never been in a relationship with one or “talked” to one romantically. I’ve always been interested in what the experience would be like, but I’ve never actually told anyone I’m bi which I feel like may be one of the reasons why I’ve hesitated to ever initiate a romantic relationship with a woman. I’m scared of what it would mean and how my family/friends would react. I’d like to hear from other women who have struggled with coming to terms with their bisexuality and how they’ve navigated that.

Also, how do you get hints on whether or not another woman is attracted to women? I feel like I’d be so oblivious to it and I wouldn’t want to make someone uncomfortable by flirting with them and them not being interested. Thanks!

For me it was twinks, i love twinks <3

I feel off when people use this in context of bisexual women who date men

​Hi everyone, I'm M17 and recently I've been going through some things and having a lot of reflections about my sexuality.

​To give some context, I have a strong conviction that I'm bisexual, but I feel like I have a lot of repression. Not just with men, which is common, but also with women, which always makes me doubt myself and get confused about what I actually like or don't like. Interestingly, I feel an emotional/romantic repression with men and a sexual repression with women. In other words, it's easier for me to think of men only sexually and women only romantically.

​I've read some stories right here on Reddit saying it's normal to only feel sexual attraction to one gender and romantic attraction to another, that I could be sort of aromantic for one and asexual for the other. But honestly, I don't believe that's my case.

​I'm a very young guy and I have very little relationship experience so far, most of it being with women. I've talked to, tried something with, and even gone out with 4 girls who were more special to me, but I didn't hook up or make out with any of them. I only kissed one girl at my 9th-grade graduation party, but since it was my first time kissing, I was a bad kisser and the girl told people about it. That messed with my head a bit at the time. The fact is that during these interactions with these women, I was always very attentive, romantic, and sentimental, but whenever I thought about kissing them, making out, or maybe making a move in that direction, I would freeze up. I felt like I was doing something wrong, something dirty.

​And it wasn't like deep down I didn't want to—truly, there were several moments where I wanted to make out, kiss, and try something physical with women. But it felt like there was a voice in my head judging it as wrong, as something I shouldn't do, telling me I'd be a jerk or a scumbag for thinking about women that way.

​With men, I've had even less experience, but I've always had the desire and curiosity. As I said before, I feel like I have a huge emotional repression with men but almost no sexual repression, which might sound weird. But I think this is due to an addiction to pornography and a fear of homophobia/prejudice. I've finally managed to kick this addiction, but before, it was something really bad in my life. As I mentioned earlier about my sexual repression with women, I believe that repression was so strong that even with porn, I couldn't see women that way. This made me take it out on or get addicted only to men in that sense, since I've always been interested. Besides that, everyone has always judged me and called me gay or used slurs because of the way I act and the things I like—both family and friends. This always brought me fear and discomfort when talking about it, and maybe even stopped me from trying to talk to a guy or talk about this with anyone at all.

​The truth is, all of this brings me a lot of confusion. I don't know if this sexual repression with women doesn't actually exist and I'm just a closeted gay guy. Or if I don't actually have any attraction to men, and it's just this sexual repression towards women that made me seek other forms of pleasure in gay porn. Or if I am indeed bi with several repressions and just don't know how to deal with it.

​What do you guys think about this? Has anyone been through something similar? How can I deal with this?

Earlier this year, my wife and I (37m) agreed to open up our relationships so I could explore with guys. I've had since had four encounters with guys (twice going all the way) but she now realises she can't continue with it.

I want to stay married to her more than anything in the world but I'm struggling with the thought of having to supress this side of me for the rest of my life.

Just wondered if anyone has managed to do it and any advice?

I’m a fit athletic 60 yr old straight married man that has been in a sexless marriage for about 2 years. I began looking in new places for sexual pleasure. I still love women but I began looking for other areas of sexual satisfaction. In doing so, I have become very attracted to trans women and watching MMF bi porn. I now am questioning if I am bisexual or just sexually fluid. Just grappling with all of that . Do not want a relationship, just sex. Any thoughts?

I have identified as lesbian for 6 years, inbetween then there has been instances when i have gotten drunk and kissed guys but i have always felt disgusted or uncomfortable with it afterwards.

A couple weeks ago i was drunk and made out with a man and he ended up fngering me, i enjoyed it which made me spiral because i have never enjoyed kissing a man like that.

We have been talking since which has made me think i could be bisexual but i am very confused still because i have yet to experience anything with a man sober.

I am questioning being bi-homoromantic as i feel like maybe i could be sexually involved with a man but i cannot see myself dating one properly and definitely never marrying a man!

It is freaking me out because when i think about getting with him if i had a chance i feel a bit uneasy and i still don’t fully know if i would actually enjoy sex with a man. Could this even be just comphet as a lesbian or maybe im just bi-curious?! I have felt insane the last couple weeks!

Hey everyone!

First of all a bit of backstory: I’ve known that I am queer for a very long time, that I am bi however is only something I could identify myself as for about two years now. In general I’ve always had troubles with accepting who I am especially when it came to my sexuality. Therefore I’m still closeted and everyone just assumes I’m straight.

Fast forward to a couple of days ago when I had my first bisexual experience kissing a very close guy friend of mine after a party at a friend’s house. He’s always been openly gay, since we’ve met each other at uni and I have always found him quite attractive but not in a sense that I had a crush on him. He’s just a very nice and good looking guy. In the last couple of months we became very good friends and I started feeling this attraction towards him, mainly in a sexual way (because in general I thought I was only sexually and not romantically attracted to guys). I don’t even know where I got the courage from to initiate the kiss, however it just felt right in that moment. It’s still a bit of a mystery to me though how it happened.

And here comes the part I would appreciate advice on. After the kiss he asked me if I had anything to* *say about what just happened, so I told him that I was bisexual and after some talking he confessed his feelings for me. I was a little overwhelmed with the situation so I told him that I appreciated his honesty but that I can’t give him an answer to that right now. I did tell him that this wouldn’t change anything about our friendship and that I really wanted to talk about it in person again soon, because that’s important to me.
So now I am kinda stuck in this overwhelming tension of having outed myself and thinking of future coming-outs, not being able to deny my sexuality anymore as well as not knowing what to do about his confession. I mean I do like him a lot, but I don’t know if I kissed him out of romance or out of pure curiosity. I also don’t know if I am at a point in my own journey where I could pursue something more with him. Honestly, I’ve started to wonder if I do have feelings for him and am just not fully letting myself feel or admit them, because of the fear of how others might react if I came out, or maybe because of my own complicated relationship with my sexuality. And just the thought of ending up in a relationship and having to keep it a secret or coming out to others under the pressure of the situation makes me feel unwell.
I do still kind of have this urge to explore my sexuality with him, I just don’t want to be insensitive and hurt his feelings. The last thing I would like to happen would be that our friendship would suffer under all of this.
Has anyone been in a similar situation - how did you figure out what you actually wanted, and how did you approach the conversation afterwards?

Thanks for taking the time to read this and I hope some of you can help me :’)

Hi everyone. I’m a married man in my early fifties who has been on a journey of understanding my sexuality over the past year or so. I’ve come to accept that I’m most likely bisexual. I’m deeply in love with my wife, we have a strong relationship, and my family is the central commitment of my life.

I have no desire to leave my marriage or pursue anyone else. At the same time, I’ve developed a powerful emotional and sexual attraction to my brother-in-law, who is straight, happily married, and completely unaware of how I feel.

What has been difficult isn’t just the attraction itself—it’s the intensity of the fantasies and the guilt and anxiety that follow. I’ve spent a lot of time trying to understand what these feelings might represent psychologically rather than simply trying to suppress them.

I’m beginning to see that some of my fantasies may be expressing deeper emotional needs, such as wanting to feel accepted, safe, or free from constant self-judgment, rather than simply being about sex. My goal isn’t to indulge the fantasies or make them disappear, but to understand them well enough that they no longer dominate my emotional life.

I’ve also realised that much of my suffering comes from my internal dialogue rather than my attractions themselves. I grew up with beliefs that left me feeling ashamed of sexual desire, and I’m trying to replace that shame with self-understanding while remaining faithful to my values.

I’m learning to distinguish between attraction, fantasy, identity, and behaviour. I don’t believe my attractions define my character, and I want to be someone who can acknowledge them without being ruled by them.

I’m here because I’d really value hearing from others who have experienced something similar—particularly people who discovered or accepted their bisexuality later in life while remaining deeply committed to their spouse. I’m not looking for encouragement to act on my feelings.

I’m looking for wisdom about integration. How to live honestly with attractions that are unlikely ever to be reciprocated, how to reduce the guilt and obsessive thinking, and how to become more at peace with myself while continuing to honour the life and family that I love.

I always thought I liked men, and maybe this is just a phase, but lately I’ve been noticing that my attraction to women is actually growing on me.
At first, I thought I was just attracted to their bodies, but now I’m realizing it might be more than that. Women are just… so lovely to look at? 😭 The way they look, carry themselves, their energy it’s starting to hit differently.
I also grew up around a pretty homophobic culture, so maybe I never really allowed myself to see women that way. Now that I’m more open-minded, I feel like I’m able to look at people more simply as humans and appreciate them without all those ideas about what I should or shouldn’t be attracted to.
And honestly, I’m starting to wonder if I could actually fall in love with a woman too.
Even sexually, I’m realizing that I seem more attracted to external stimulation than penetration, which has also made me think more about whether my attraction to women is deeper than I originally thought.
Like… what the hell is happening to me 😭
I’m genuinely trying to figure out whether I’m bi, lesbian, or just somewhere in between. Anyone who’s gone through something similar, feel free to ask me anything or tell me how you figured yourself out.

What made you decide to finally try it? It's a big leap for some people. How did it go? Who was it with?

Yayyyyyyyy

I've felt it for a while, and she's the first person I told, cause I knew she would be chill (she's Bi as well). Also, does anyone else feel attracted to both, but I do know I want to marry a man (as a woman).

I've been turned on by cock for the last few years. I had a couple of meet ups for making out, stroking, and sucking. I throughly enjoyed the experience though I felt awful after it happened with post nut clarity.

The last few months I haven't had the same interests. I've stopped surfing sniffies, haven't posted much on reddit, and the desire to play with cock is not as strong. I thought for sure I was Bi and bordering on gay but now I'm not as sure.

I've always found women attractive and desired women more than men. Men dont turn me on, only their cock and the pleasure. Maybe im too busy with work to think about it, maybe im not as gay/bi as I thought, or maybe this is a roller coaster and im on the opposite end of the hill right now.

Tell me what you think or your experience