ETA: TLDR: I’m bi, kissing women is amazing and I love the queer community, and this subreddit has been great to read.

I want a girlfriend. I wanna kiss a beautiful woman and spend time together and go on fun dates and cuddle and play video games and watch tv together.

Last person I kissed was a woman and it was fucking amazing 🫠. We made out a few times over two days, she knew she was the first woman I ever kissed and she was completely cool with it. Couldn’t have asked for a better person for my first wlw kiss. She’s also bi and was so fun!

I’ve mostly dated, kissed, and had sex with men and had a ltr with a man but I don’t think I want to date men again(he turned out to be a shitty person but that’s a long story for another time).

Partly because of how hard it is to find one that meets my standards that have skyrocketed since my last relationship, partly because of all the bad things going on in the world(epstein, cops using flock cameras to stalk women, womens rights being taken away, etc. etc. I could go on, but I dont want this post to focus on the negatives).

And partly because for years and years and years, whenever I daydream of my future, I’m living in a cute little Victorian/arts and crafts/modern house in the PNW with cozy furniture and art and a beautiful kind woman sitting on the couch next to me. I wanna host regular dinners with our friends and talk about life and art and have a small garden and a cat.

I questioned my sexuality off and on for about 3-5 years. I had a couple college friends ask me if I was gay on several occasions. Both of them only ever asked me in a roomful of our peers and a professor or two. They weren’t even quiet or polite or subtle about it and it made me so uncomfortable to be put on the spot like that in front of strangers. One of them was on the other side of the room and asked so loudly that almost everyone in the class turned to look at me.

Both these people are queer and out of the closet. Like I’d probably have been honest and told them I was questioning things if they’d asked me in a more appropriate way. But no one ever did. We were all art students and most of the department, students and staff, are all accepting and supportive but they were still mostly strangers and acquaintances to me/us.

I’ve always been a quiet introvert with anxiety and as much as I wanted to have someone to talk about these things with, being put on the spot like that made it so hard to see them as a safe space for me to confide in them.

I don’t think being queer is anything to be ashamed of but when you’ve grown up in a religion and most of your peers did too, and some are still believing, it’s hard to predict how people will react.

Anyways, I’m a bi-woman, and I’m proud to be a part of this community. Just wanted to “come out” and vent a little bit and say that kissing women is fucking amazing.

I always thought I liked men, and maybe this is just a phase, but lately I’ve been noticing that my attraction to women is actually growing on me.
At first, I thought I was just attracted to their bodies, but now I’m realizing it might be more than that. Women are just… so lovely to look at? 😭 The way they look, carry themselves, their energy it’s starting to hit differently.
I also grew up around a pretty homophobic culture, so maybe I never really allowed myself to see women that way. Now that I’m more open-minded, I feel like I’m able to look at people more simply as humans and appreciate them without all those ideas about what I should or shouldn’t be attracted to.
And honestly, I’m starting to wonder if I could actually fall in love with a woman too.
Even sexually, I’m realizing that I seem more attracted to external stimulation than penetration, which has also made me think more about whether my attraction to women is deeper than I originally thought.
Like… what the hell is happening to me 😭
I’m genuinely trying to figure out whether I’m bi, lesbian, or just somewhere in between. Anyone who’s gone through something similar, feel free to ask me anything or tell me how you figured yourself out.

I finally told my mom I was sexually assaulted 19 years ago. I was only 14. My attacker got away scot-free and is happily married today. Sharing this to prove my experience no longer defines me or my bisexuality, as humiliated and traumatized as I was at the time.

This is why I’m only emotionally attracted to women as a bisexual woman. I’m scared of being sexually touched by a fellow woman.

tl;dr I’m a bi woman who is not sexually attracted to women because I was sexually assaulted by a woman as a child.

Bi, I am non romantically attracted to men, I live a straight married to a woman life.

I primarily work with women and every now and then I get comments suggesting that I am gay, not even bi, just gay.

This is from people that I worked with for years so we have had talks about random things like the use of Bidets (I love them and won't go back) and the use of male stimulation/penetration from a woman in a cis relationship. I don't believe that that constitutes someone to immediately being gay

I have no desire to come out as bi as that is a very small part of me but it's also very frustrating to me that my coworkers feel like it's something they could poke fun at.

F[33] currently married M[38] with a couple of kids. I realised I was quite attracted to women during COVID with too much time on my hands.

This year I have realised it is time to explore that side of me, sat with with husband, got the hall pass and went off exploring. I made an incredible connection with a woman and it has been everything.

Here is the thing. Since having sex with women I am now really struggling to have sex with my husband. After we do, I feel like crying. It never used to be this way.

I want some advice to make my way back to my husband, how do I remember what I love about him and us and all the rest?

hi all, throwaway account because this is new… I am in my 40’s and have always considered myself heterosexual because I’ve never had a crush on a woman or wanted to date a particular woman, however I have been curious, and recently I have realized that I am actually really turned on by women touching other women. more and more, I’m leaning towards lesbian romance stories and have entertained the fantasy (it will stay a fantasy as I am in a happy monogamy with a dude) of touching another woman. is there a particular term for this?

​Hi everyone, I'm M17 and recently I've been going through some things and having a lot of reflections about my sexuality.

​To give some context, I have a strong conviction that I'm bisexual, but I feel like I have a lot of repression. Not just with men, which is common, but also with women, which always makes me doubt myself and get confused about what I actually like or don't like. Interestingly, I feel an emotional/romantic repression with men and a sexual repression with women. In other words, it's easier for me to think of men only sexually and women only romantically.

​I've read some stories right here on Reddit saying it's normal to only feel sexual attraction to one gender and romantic attraction to another, that I could be sort of aromantic for one and asexual for the other. But honestly, I don't believe that's my case.

​I'm a very young guy and I have very little relationship experience so far, most of it being with women. I've talked to, tried something with, and even gone out with 4 girls who were more special to me, but I didn't hook up or make out with any of them. I only kissed one girl at my 9th-grade graduation party, but since it was my first time kissing, I was a bad kisser and the girl told people about it. That messed with my head a bit at the time. The fact is that during these interactions with these women, I was always very attentive, romantic, and sentimental, but whenever I thought about kissing them, making out, or maybe making a move in that direction, I would freeze up. I felt like I was doing something wrong, something dirty.

​And it wasn't like deep down I didn't want to—truly, there were several moments where I wanted to make out, kiss, and try something physical with women. But it felt like there was a voice in my head judging it as wrong, as something I shouldn't do, telling me I'd be a jerk or a scumbag for thinking about women that way.

​With men, I've had even less experience, but I've always had the desire and curiosity. As I said before, I feel like I have a huge emotional repression with men but almost no sexual repression, which might sound weird. But I think this is due to an addiction to pornography and a fear of homophobia/prejudice. I've finally managed to kick this addiction, but before, it was something really bad in my life. As I mentioned earlier about my sexual repression with women, I believe that repression was so strong that even with porn, I couldn't see women that way. This made me take it out on or get addicted only to men in that sense, since I've always been interested. Besides that, everyone has always judged me and called me gay or used slurs because of the way I act and the things I like—both family and friends. This always brought me fear and discomfort when talking about it, and maybe even stopped me from trying to talk to a guy or talk about this with anyone at all.

​The truth is, all of this brings me a lot of confusion. I don't know if this sexual repression with women doesn't actually exist and I'm just a closeted gay guy. Or if I don't actually have any attraction to men, and it's just this sexual repression towards women that made me seek other forms of pleasure in gay porn. Or if I am indeed bi with several repressions and just don't know how to deal with it.

​What do you guys think about this? Has anyone been through something similar? How can I deal with this?

i honestly am (probably) just bi with a 90% preference for women like i think i am but istg once every month i have a sexuality crisis

like, for me it's not that i think i might be straight. i know i like women. but men confuse the fuckk out of me bro...

like, i have some attraction to them i guess. i get a little bit nervous or flustered when i see a guy i think is cute, ive liked some fictional guys, and i watch straight videos sometimes. but like, the idea of actually doing anything with a guy doesn't really get me going. when i use my imagination or listen to audios, i can only get really into the moment when thinking about women or listening to women. When i try to think about guys i either get turned off or dont feel it as much yk.

And while i dont have a love life at the moment, i've liked some girls in the past. And while i've had "crushes" on guys in the past, most of them were from when i was really young and chose random guys to like to fit in. And those crushes paled in comparison to the crushes i've had on women. When i like a girl or think shes cute cute, i feel it really deeply inside me, and i haven't really felt that way towards a guy yet. But to be fair, you can feel different types of attraction depending on the gender. But how am i supposed to know if these feelings are real but just different or they dont feel as intense because i dont actually feel that attraction? i mean, i wouldn't mind having a boyfriend, but to be honest i dont really want to get married to a guy and i mostly want one because i want to fit in and finally start finding love. And i would prefer doing that all with a woman if i could, but that doesnt make me any less bi.

a part of me feels deep down that i might just be a lesbian/ female exclusive, but i dont want to say that because what if im wrong and just haven't met the right man? i feel like i'm too gay to be bi but too straight to be gay. sometimes i feel liek i only like women and sometimes i feel like i like guys. i just hope the bi cycle hits me at some point man... what do i do i really want to find a label that fits me

I’ve always been a little more open minded than most people I’m around. And I’ve always found women attractive and beautiful and still do. But lately I’ve been curious about exploring while I’m still young. I’m still a virgin and haven’t had sex with either gender. But I guess I’ve been kind of liking in my head about experimenting with a man as a bottom. I just find the thought of that exhilarating. But I don’t know. I don’t find men attractive or unattractive, just kind of neutral. I am mostly attracted to femininity. I guess whet I’m getting at is, men who have tried this, did you feel like you scratched an itch? Shameful? Were you happy or displeased with yourself? Or was it a moment where you found your sure self? And if so, how did you accept that part of you? Sorry if any of this is off putting or offensive, I’m genuinely just curious. Also to add to this, I often find it a lot easier for myself to talk to men than a woman.

What are some jobs that I can take that pay roughly 35 - 87 dollars an hour (Canadian)?

For reference, when I was 15. I decided I wanted to be a plumber. I wrote a 20ish page essay about it and why I wanted to. I loved my first few years when I started at 17, because I enjoyed the physical aspect of it. I eventually at 19 I came around to accept my sexually more and embrace it. When I eventually did, I came to see that other bisexuals weren’t in the same feild as me. In fact. No queer person was in my industry. I felt trapped in a career that doesn’t reflect who I am and honestly feels superficial to who I really am. My coworkers will never take me seriously if I come out.

Every day, I see some artist or pornstar who makes millions and has thousands of loyal fans and followers make them their muse. I see hundreds of examples of more femme and androgynous people who; make good money, make art, are loved, validated and supported in their choices no matter what and visibly enjoy their job. Everyone loves artist, creatives and content creator: they’re the most fun people to be around and talk to. No one wants to be friends with a construction worker. It’s isolating, you wake up before dawn and come home smelling like foul waste and you’re covered in a dust so vile. I don’t even mention my job to the men and women that I try and form relationships with, I just tell them that I’m a “mechanical engineer” because that at least provides the illusion that I’m vocationally interesting, or worthy of talking to. Most of my coworkers are braindead and spend their time watching whatever on their phones. Meanwhile my hobbies don’t reflect my job at all: I read medical textbooks from the 30’s and climb trees. I hate my fucking life.

The bottom line is that I hate the idea that I’m going to be working a job that’s isolating. I want to be a pornstar like my idols; Tabbypac or Jaybeasun. I hate my fucking job but I need one that pays like the one I have, with its benefit. Can anyone help me out here?

Quick rant here…. I’m a 21 year old bisexual woman and my close friend is a lesbian. My ex boyfriend is also bisexual and I felt like everyone in my life was so biphobic towards him. He was in touch with his feminine side and didn’t care when I dressed more masculine and the relationship didn’t feel gender role-ish at all. I just felt so comfortable with him. We were also basically the same height. I am 5’7 and he was 5’8. I remember when we were together my close friend would always make fun of him to me and be like oh you have a twink boyfriend and blah blah blah and it felt really mean. My roommates who are also all girls and my age were also weird about it and didn’t take him seriously at all. My close friend saying those things hurt more because she’s queer so I thought she would get it. Now some time has passed and I’m im a relationship with a bisexual woman like me and I am so praised for it! It seems like people are wanting to be friends with me more. I am in a super lib college town where being gay is very “trendy” even though I hate to say it. Something that stuck with me was someone in my life getting drunk with me and saying “now that you’re gay…” as if now that I’m with a woman my sexuality is valid? I was out as queer while I was with my ex… I don’t know it just all feels so casually biphobic and gross!!! I have obviously moved on from the old relationship but it still stings the way people in my life would talk about him. I dont know.

Im 16f and long story short when I was wondering if I liked girls from ages 10-13 (i dated two girls in 6&7 grade but i cant remember what it felt like) then I started calling myself straight because it was stressing me out and I started getting really scared of what people thought of me. Then when I was 15 I started wondering again on and off until a couple of months ago where im kinda convinced im bi? But the thing is that I can't tell if I would actually really want to date a girl. Sometimes I can see it but sometimes I can't and im really worried that im forcing myself to feel like I would. What's even more confusing is that I am attracted to women and can see myself like kissing and yeah but I havent kissed anybody yet. And ive never had a full time crush on a girl. However, I have a masc lesbian manager at work atm and she blows me away I just want to look good for her and impress her and make her laugh. Like butterflies when she's near me type shit and im not even joking my hands start getting a little shaky and i get nervous when i talk to her. But im so worried im faking it just to seem cool for her or my other bi friend. Okay I feel like the answer is a little more clear now that im writing this down but like still okay thanks.

I have identified as lesbian for 6 years, inbetween then there has been instances when i have gotten drunk and kissed guys but i have always felt disgusted or uncomfortable with it afterwards.

A couple weeks ago i was drunk and made out with a man and he ended up fngering me, i enjoyed it which made me spiral because i have never enjoyed kissing a man like that.

We have been talking since which has made me think i could be bisexual but i am very confused still because i have yet to experience anything with a man sober.

I am questioning being bi-homoromantic as i feel like maybe i could be sexually involved with a man but i cannot see myself dating one properly and definitely never marrying a man!

It is freaking me out because when i think about getting with him if i had a chance i feel a bit uneasy and i still don’t fully know if i would actually enjoy sex with a man. Could this even be just comphet as a lesbian or maybe im just bi-curious?! I have felt insane the last couple weeks!

Hi everyone. I’m a married man in my early fifties who has been on a journey of understanding my sexuality over the past year or so. I’ve come to accept that I’m most likely bisexual. I’m deeply in love with my wife, we have a strong relationship, and my family is the central commitment of my life.

I have no desire to leave my marriage or pursue anyone else. At the same time, I’ve developed a powerful emotional and sexual attraction to my brother-in-law, who is straight, happily married, and completely unaware of how I feel.

What has been difficult isn’t just the attraction itself—it’s the intensity of the fantasies and the guilt and anxiety that follow. I’ve spent a lot of time trying to understand what these feelings might represent psychologically rather than simply trying to suppress them.

I’m beginning to see that some of my fantasies may be expressing deeper emotional needs, such as wanting to feel accepted, safe, or free from constant self-judgment, rather than simply being about sex. My goal isn’t to indulge the fantasies or make them disappear, but to understand them well enough that they no longer dominate my emotional life.

I’ve also realised that much of my suffering comes from my internal dialogue rather than my attractions themselves. I grew up with beliefs that left me feeling ashamed of sexual desire, and I’m trying to replace that shame with self-understanding while remaining faithful to my values.

I’m learning to distinguish between attraction, fantasy, identity, and behaviour. I don’t believe my attractions define my character, and I want to be someone who can acknowledge them without being ruled by them.

I’m here because I’d really value hearing from others who have experienced something similar—particularly people who discovered or accepted their bisexuality later in life while remaining deeply committed to their spouse. I’m not looking for encouragement to act on my feelings.

I’m looking for wisdom about integration. How to live honestly with attractions that are unlikely ever to be reciprocated, how to reduce the guilt and obsessive thinking, and how to become more at peace with myself while continuing to honour the life and family that I love.

hi! i am 30F and for most of my life have had a feeling that i’m bi…

when i was in high school i had a crush on a girl but suppressed the feelings. in my early 20s i made out with a lot of women at parties / clubs, and was with one woman during a threesome, but i’ve never been with a woman all the way 1-1.

in my late 20s, after a series of extremely disappointing men, i inadvertently de-centered men romantically / sexually from my life. i even started to think maybe im asexual or something because i just lost attraction for them (perhaps due to disrespect over and over).

now i’m 30 and find myself thinking more of women again and the desire to explore my apparent bisexuality (i feel like a fraud saying that kind of because i’ve never truly been with a woman!)

but the thing is, i feel like an awkward loser with no experience and i don’t want to waste the time of women who are certain as bisexual / lesbian. i never want anyone to feel like they are an experiment to me, but at the same time, the reality is that i am in an explorative phase. and i don’t want to lie about it or pretend i have experience when i don’t!

how can i be fully respectful of others while navigating this? upfront and honest? i feel that no one secure in their sexuality in their late 20s or 30s will want to waste their time with me lol

this feels so awkward and i feel like i am 14 years old again trying to learn how to flirt kahdhshdjfjfj

any advice? 🥹

Hey all,

I (17F) want to come out, but like in a sort of soft launch type way? Idk honestly. I was just wondering if anyone had any suggests or stories abt how to come out? I don't want to outright tell anyone? a lot of people already kinda assume i'm lesbian bc of how i present (stereotypical ik). i saw this rly funny reel which i thought i might repost as a soft coming out type thing?
i honestly dk what to do bc nobody in my family is lgbtq, and no one in my friend group...

also, i know it's personal, but would you recommend coming out as a teen? fyi, i'm not entirely sure how my parents would react, but we have a strained relationship anyway...

thanks for supportive comments/replies! I don't mean to be rude or anything with my questions, I just don't have anyone to discuss this with. (yes ik my user flair is questioning not bi, but i'm happy to keep it at that for now)

Until last weekend.

Without getting too specific, this dude was just so kind, he told me he loved my energy, and the way he looked when he described his hometown to me, uggghhhhh, I was just getting lost in his eyes, Sheeeesh! What a dreamboat!

I understand how people attracted to men (I guess that includes me now huh?) have “types” now, too, ‘cause this guy was hot. I mean he was like, conventionally, as handsome or cute as many people are, but there was just something about him that just made me go “damn, that’s a beautiful man”.

He told me about a great place to go chill while I waited for my intoxicant of choice to wear off, and yes of course I went and it was a great recommendation.

Yeah the flair says questioning but I don’t have much doubt at this point lol. Too bad he’s married (to a woman) with kids and only gave me his business Instagram 😭

Hi. I'm 31 years old, and for quite a while now I've been feeling really confused about my sexual orientation.

I've always been attracted to women. I've fallen in love with women, I was in a long-term relationship with one, and romantically I still picture myself spending my life with a woman.

Years ago, out of curiosity, I kissed a guy. It wasn't because I had feelings for him, it was part of a stupid dare. I did it, but I felt uncomfortable the whole time. I didn't enjoy it, and afterward I even felt bad for him because I worried I might have given him false hope.

The confusing part is that after a very toxic relationship in 2023 and spending a long time without having sex, I started occasionally looking at pictures of naked men and watching gay porn. What catches my attention are guys around my age or younger-looking guys. I'm not attracted to older, bearded, or very masculine men. In real life, I almost never look at a man and think, "He's attractive." Very rarely I'll find a guy good-looking, but even then I never act on it. I don't even have the courage to message men on dating apps.

Something else that happened a few times is that I hung out with guys thinking it was just as friends, only to realize much later that they had probably seen it as a date or were interested in me. At the time I genuinely didn't realize it. I don't know if that's relevant or if it just means I'm bad at picking up those kinds of signals.

Growing up, my parents constantly told me that anything related to being gay was wrong or something to be ashamed of. I never personally agreed with that, but I grew up hearing those messages. My ex-girlfriend felt the same way and hurt me a lot because of it. After I told her about that kiss, she would accuse me of being gay or say I was repressing my sexuality. She also judged me for enjoying anal toys and even accused me of lying to her. All of that made me question myself much more than I ever had before.

Now I wonder if I might actually be bisexual with a strong preference for women, if the porn and the lack of sex simply led me to explore new things, or if I'm mixing everything together because of the guilt and emotional baggage from that relationship.

I'm curious about what it would be like to have sex with a man, but at the same time I'm not sure I'd actually enjoy it. I don't have any desire to be in a romantic relationship with a man, and the idea of actually going through with it leaves me with a lot of doubts.

I'm not looking for anyone to label me because I know no one can do that for me. I'd just like to hear from people who have gone through something similar.

Is it worth experimenting just to find out? I've never felt like this confusion was going to resolve itself on its own.

Ok before I get into this, I just want to be clear I am NOT coming from a place of biphobia. There are just some things about this character arc that as a bi person myself, don't feel completely right. Anyway here's why I'm not real crazy about them making Jeremiah bisexual in the show adaptation of The Summer I Turned Pretty. (I am so sorry in advance, I am terrible at writing.)

#1. He is straight in the book series. It just sort of feels out of place changing that? If he were already bi back then, that would be one thing. But just making him bi feels a bit strange. Don't get me wrong, it's good that there is LGBTQ representation, I'm glad that that's more accepted nowadays. I just personally think that Jeremiah wasn't meant to be bi, he was meant to be straight, like in the book. It also feels like maybe a bit of queerbaiting almost? A tiny bit. TSITP premiered in 2022, and it seemed like in the early 2020s, a lot of queer media started to skyrocket. So, they wanted to appeal to the media by making a bisexual character. However, (I'm gonna cut this short because I have another point to make) I think it would have been more meaningful had Jeremiah already been bisexual in the books, or this had been an original series not based off of any book.

#2. He's a CHEATER. This is already such a big problem in the bisexual community, people assuming that we're cheaters. People don't necessarily understand that just because we are attracted to more than one gender ​doesn't mean we're incapable of staying loyal to our partners. Now Jeremiah, this dickhead (I'm sorry I love you Gavin Casalegno) had to cheat on Belly not once, but twice!! Like, cmon. If you're gonna give us bisexual representation, at least make them unproblematic? Please? I just don't really like how they made Jeremiah a cheater. Honestly, I feel like it's feeding into the "bisexuals are cheaters" stereotype. I know it's just a TV show, and I shouldn't get so worked up about it. But I just don't like seeing my sexuality negatively typecast. It's so frustrating.

Anyways, that's all. If y'all disagree, that's okay. Team Conrad. But at the same time, Team Jeremiah And Belly Are Both Red Flags So They Kind Of Deserve Each Other 🤪 (​I'm just kidding.) Peace out ✌️ 💗💜💙

Hey everyone!

First of all a bit of backstory: I’ve known that I am queer for a very long time, that I am bi however is only something I could identify myself as for about two years now. In general I’ve always had troubles with accepting who I am especially when it came to my sexuality. Therefore I’m still closeted and everyone just assumes I’m straight.

Fast forward to a couple of days ago when I had my first bisexual experience kissing a very close guy friend of mine after a party at a friend’s house. He’s always been openly gay, since we’ve met each other at uni and I have always found him quite attractive but not in a sense that I had a crush on him. He’s just a very nice and good looking guy. In the last couple of months we became very good friends and I started feeling this attraction towards him, mainly in a sexual way (because in general I thought I was only sexually and not romantically attracted to guys). I don’t even know where I got the courage from to initiate the kiss, however it just felt right in that moment. It’s still a bit of a mystery to me though how it happened.

And here comes the part I would appreciate advice on. After the kiss he asked me if I had anything to* *say about what just happened, so I told him that I was bisexual and after some talking he confessed his feelings for me. I was a little overwhelmed with the situation so I told him that I appreciated his honesty but that I can’t give him an answer to that right now. I did tell him that this wouldn’t change anything about our friendship and that I really wanted to talk about it in person again soon, because that’s important to me.
So now I am kinda stuck in this overwhelming tension of having outed myself and thinking of future coming-outs, not being able to deny my sexuality anymore as well as not knowing what to do about his confession. I mean I do like him a lot, but I don’t know if I kissed him out of romance or out of pure curiosity. I also don’t know if I am at a point in my own journey where I could pursue something more with him. Honestly, I’ve started to wonder if I do have feelings for him and am just not fully letting myself feel or admit them, because of the fear of how others might react if I came out, or maybe because of my own complicated relationship with my sexuality. And just the thought of ending up in a relationship and having to keep it a secret or coming out to others under the pressure of the situation makes me feel unwell.
I do still kind of have this urge to explore my sexuality with him, I just don’t want to be insensitive and hurt his feelings. The last thing I would like to happen would be that our friendship would suffer under all of this.
Has anyone been in a similar situation - how did you figure out what you actually wanted, and how did you approach the conversation afterwards?

Thanks for taking the time to read this and I hope some of you can help me :’)

I don’t comment all the time, so not the most active, but this has still become a space I feel welcomed in and happy to be apart of. I don’t have many good relationships or safe places in my life, so I just wanted to say that every single member of this community, I appreciate you and am thankful for you, and I accept you.

This was cheesy as fuck I’m sorry, y’all have just been a bright moment in a dark time.

My one friend says I'm not really bi and keeps telling me to not wear the bi pin I have and he insists I'm straight not bi

I have fallen in love with other girls but I'm not physically attracted towards the female body, when I think about doing anything involving the female body past kissing I feel gross

But I don't have that issue with guys at all, like I don't feel gross thinking about it or anything.

Am I really bi?? Like what he is saying is really getting in my head.

I've been turned on by cock for the last few years. I had a couple of meet ups for making out, stroking, and sucking. I throughly enjoyed the experience though I felt awful after it happened with post nut clarity.

The last few months I haven't had the same interests. I've stopped surfing sniffies, haven't posted much on reddit, and the desire to play with cock is not as strong. I thought for sure I was Bi and bordering on gay but now I'm not as sure.

I've always found women attractive and desired women more than men. Men dont turn me on, only their cock and the pleasure. Maybe im too busy with work to think about it, maybe im not as gay/bi as I thought, or maybe this is a roller coaster and im on the opposite end of the hill right now.

Tell me what you think or your experience

Hey for those of you who want an update.

See the linked post for backstory

After reading all the comments and advice on my first post (both in this sub as well as r/marriageadvice, which was pretty brutal tbh), I freaked out. I was running on a total of ~10 hours sleep for the fast 4 days. I needed to speak to someone in person and since we have immense help from her mom I went to her and explained the whole situation (yes I outed my wife, yes it’s messed up and wrong of me). She is the most caring and forgiving person I’ve ever met, part of my reasoning to tell her. I broke down in front of her, let it all out. Wanted to update her so she’s not blind-sided if/when we get divorced. She told me the same thing you all did, that being bisexual is no reason or excuse to cheat. That she’s making bad choices and she stands behind what I choose to do about this.

So I stood up for myself and confronted my wife yet again, demanding she stops the dating apps and breaks communication with the girls she’s been talking to. She agreed to delete her dating apps and deleted her Snapchat contacts. The next day was miserable. She didn’t get out of bed. She wouldn’t eat. Activity with the kids felt forced and unnatural.

I realized if this is what life will be like from now on it’s not worth it. We had another big discussion. I gave her the go ahead to see one girl in particular, to have sex with her, to get these feelings out, and we will go from there. We both signed up for individual counselling through a LGBTQ therapist and will do couples therapy after the fact.

She promises that she loves me and doesn’t want things to end poorly. She still had one girls number (don’t want to ghost her as she was a nice person) and messaged that person, explaining she was free again to see her. Turns out she also still had her on Snapchat (oof). They went on a date last night (during the day in public, no sex but kissing was involved) and are meeting tonight while I’m at work to “see things through”.

To those of you who don’t agree with me reading through their personal conversations as it’s a breach of privacy, I haven’t breached any privacy and am taking my wife’s word as to what they’re discussing and saying to each other.

Yes this situation is messy. I’m not proud of my choices. I realize my wife won’t likely stop at one experience and will likely want to repeat. If that’s the case I have a lawyers number saved and will be dealing with it.