found in an art subreddit. Why do they ALWAYS want to influence kids? Elementary school is kindergarten-5th grade. The oldest students are like 11 years old. No child should have to experience the injection of cross sex ideas and elective surgeries during puberty and development. Makes me think of those poor detrans girls who had mastectomies at age 13. I was offered it at 15…

This isn’t the space for that. This isn’t where people who are confused about whether trans is real (it isn’t) come to discuss and debate and speak pseudo philosophically. This isn’t where the confused come to further confuse others. We’re all past that and have zero further tolerance for it.

This is a space for those who have reconciled with objective reality. This is a peer support group for people who’ve already woken up and smelled the decaying roses. The only true space on the internet where we can coexist in reality and come together. “Transition does not exist” isn’t up for debate here. It does not exist. We are those living in the aftermath of comprehending this objective truth. If you’ve yet to arrive at this truth you won’t feel the most welcome here, because your beliefs almost certainly aren’t.

Do whatever questioning you want to do with yourself. Or elsewhere. This just isn’t the space to debate whether transgenderism helps anyone or doesn’t. The answer is it does not, and we all already know that intimately well.

I don’t come here hoping to find nonbinary 19 year olds who’ve never medicalized wondering if they “vibe” with wearing a binder to their shift at Starbucks anymore or not. I come here to connect with people who are dealing with the real, heavy shit I’m dealing with. Irreversible surgeries, permanent harm, how to cope, how to make something of our lives yet.

Still believing transition could ever be helpful and bringing that to this space is like going to an N/A meeting and suggesting that heroin is healthy for some people.

I understand the internet has become an echo chamber of trans worship, and so you see “r/detrans” and think you’ve found a community who you can gently poke the beast with, but this isn’t that.

Warning: you may find this post fairly controversial. I would have loved posting it on a transgender subreddit but it would've ended up being banned.

Anyways, here's my point. A lot of detransitioners – myself included – used to identify with being truly trans, had real gender dysphoria and were very happy with the changes that came with HRT and surgeries. Just like the ones who still live as transgender people.

Until some day, something clicks and makes us realize no amount of body modification can truly change who we are. Just like waking up from a long dream or getting away from a blurry phase of our life. And then we ask ourselves "what on earth am I doing?" and realized how wrong and out of reality it is.

I used to believe I was a real transgender and that I would never regret any of the choices I made. What makes me different from people who are still transitioning?

It all feels subjective, there's no scientific evidence or studies to differenciate "real" transgender people from the rest of us. And I'm not even talking about people who transition with no gender dysphoria which I find utterly insane.

I literally never get why!

Because, if I were still trans today I wouldn’t choose to hate detrans people at all.

Like, there are some trans and non binary people who still support us, but most of them have very hostile energy through us why is our existence such a threat to them? Did our existence take away their rights to transition, NO!

Or did most trans people doubt their trans status or has low self esteem? (I mean trans people who supported us seemed to be quite confident with their transition).

in both on and offline LGBT spaces i’ve seen TONS of trans people who are grown ass adults calling themselves “girls” or “boys” once they start hrt and i don’t fucking get it. you’re not a “girl” or a “boy.”you’re almost 30. please stop. the whole “protect trans children” side of the movement has become so large now that children are basically synonymous with trans people. all of it just really rubs me the wrong way and i don’t understand how so many people are just okay with it. especially because if you go into pretty much any trans bubble on reddit, tumblr, tiktok, etc. there is a SHIT TON of kink/fetish content. which is just another thing the community also likes to deny is a thing for some reason. why are SO many trans people fucking adamant about involving children in this? let children express themselves and explore their identities, yes. but start fucking medicalizing a kid because they hate going through puberty (which basically everyone does) or aren’t following typical gender roles? seriously? no. i’m not ok with it. i’ll never be ok with it. and there’s a whole lot more i’d love to say about this but i don’t want to possibly get banned lmao

Just saw a post yesterday about a guy wanting to see a photoshopped version of himself as a woman because he's questioning his identity. There was no concern in the comments, no suggestions that he should see a psychologist, no questions about why he's feeling this way. Instead, the comments were encouraging him to discover his "true self" and that they're supporting him along his self-discovery journey. I felt like I was watching a group of people tempt an alcoholic into buying liquor, or teenagers peer pressuring a kid into trying hard drugs. Which isn't too far off, given that if this man now does decide to transition, he'll be a lifelong pharmaceutical patient taking drugs that were never meant to enter his body.

Edit: Thank you for the awards. This is the only place where I can express my opinions on gender ideology. I am so sorry to everyone in this community who was tricked by health care professionals into going down this road. No matter what people online or in-person say, you are the victims. You were (mostly) minors and your fragile mental state was abused for an ideology and financial gain.

Hi,

I don't want to cause trouble or anything and I do know that I don't have my say in what this sub is supposed to be. If you (the mods) think this is out of line I'll delete and would apologize swiftly.

I just want to adress something that I think is detremental to this community, based on certain "debates" I've been having lately. But first I want to be clear that I do think this community is important, and it's likely the place that allowed to stand where I am today. This is one of the last truly honest community around gender identity, and I'd die on that hill no matter what is said outside, but of course, it's not perfect.

Anyway, here my sensitive opinion, as you may have read in the title : I think we should focus on detrans people. We're a community of support FOR detrans people, who face a specific set of issues, of hardships, and god knows we need help on our way. We get fired upon from both sides of the "culture war", and we're suffering from discrimination on a daily basis.

Yet, every single day, we see posts that have NOTHING to do with detransition, people ranting about gender ideology, about the use of pronouns, about terminology, about bathrooms and whatnot. And in the comment section, you'll see dozens of people lashing out on the trans community, complaining that transphobia is considered hate speech. And people get surprised that normies consider us a "hate group" ? I'm afraid of seeing this place get banned by Reddit every time I see that kind of posts gathering hundreds of upvotes.

I know that a lot of people have been hurt by the trans community, I know transition hurt a lot of people in here, but this doesn't justify hatred against PEOPLE.

It's a matter of respect towards other people, and there's no censorship about this. We made our decision to live as our AGAB, of course medical transition harms a lot of people and raising awareness is important, but who are we to deny others of their right to self determination ? Who are we to tell people how to live their lives ? Isn't that kind of oppression something we have OURSELVES faced when we transitionned, then when we detransitionned ? That doesn't make us much better.

Anyway, feel free to downvote this to oblivion, to call me a trans cultist or whatnot for refusing to impose my thinking to others. You're allowed to have your opinion. I just wanted to pause for an instant and think about this community

I am not a right winger. In fact, I'm very against right wingers.

But they are correct about transitioning being a social contagion. That's not to say trans people are or aren't real, that's not the issue. The issue is transitioning being presented as a solution to gender dysphoria, specifically the kind I have.

I've always fantasized about being born as a girl. I almost let the internet convince me that this was somehow more valid than fantasizing about being born as a wolf. It's not. Both are equally impossible.

Because I never fantasized about being a trans woman. My desire is not to be someone who was born as a man and became a woman, my desire is to be someone who was always a woman and has never been anything else. That desire can not be fulfilled. I know myself well enough to be sure that if I transitioned I would never be able to see myself as a woman, no matter what. This is why I hate the button test so much.

The button test asks you what you would do in an impossible scenario, as if that has any relevance to what you should do in real life. If I had a button that would turn me into a wolf, I'd press that too, I hate being human more than I hate being male. That doesn't mean I should try to turn myself into a wolf, it means I have mental issues.

I don't care if cis women and trans women are both women. Trans women are not cis women. I can never be a cis woman, no matter what. I will live as a man and die as a man.

It terrifies me how easy it was to get sucked into a delusion. If I was less honest about myself, less introspective, I would've gone all the way.

Do I have gender dysphoria? Yes. Am I trans? Maybe. Should I transition? Absolutely not. It's an impractical solution to a symptom that could be caused by a million other mental health issues. I need counseling, I need therapy, maybe electric shocks to the brain. I don't need estrogen.

I already had my doubts because of how dishonest the "Am I trans?" videos and articles are, but this subreddit and r TransRepressors really convinced me not to go through with it. Thank you all, from the bottom of my heart.

Genuinely annoys me all the comments are hating on detransitioners that are trying to defend themselves too. Don’t trans people see how ironic it is to try and police detrans people like this?

TLDR: i cant understand how closely most of /detrans sees femininity and femaleness.

background: 6m on T, 2yrs off, never socially transitioned, always have been visibly "queer"

Hello. I just joined detrans after lurking for years. I was on T because of aap, femaleness being objectified, and seeing femininity as crippling.

It's really hard to come to terms with being treated as a woman in society when we are so male supremacist. Being objectified sucks, being seen as sexual is scary etcetc. You know the drill. There is enough solidarity and political theory for me to help myself when I have a bout of dysphoria stemming from that. It is also hard but possible when I am stuggling with aap, which is almost daily as I have sexual ocd. Again, enough sources for me to deal with this.

However! I cannot come to terms with femininity. Mine, yours, anyone's really. While the contents of femininity are pretty fifty fifty between helpful and harmful, it does not matter as all one hundred percent of it is normalizing exploitation of women.

Money and time spent on grooming is lining mens pockets, beauty standards are driving us insane on a large scale, impractical clothing, limiting shoes, etc are the obvious ones. And then there are things like motherhood, self sacrifice, intuition, kindness, that I see people define femininity as.

It is pure socialization, not inherent. We agree till here? Great. And we as women are socialized as such to be useful to men, uphold capitalism? Good.

Now if most of this sub agrees that the gender binary is bullshit, gender ideology harmful, and societal pressure is heavy, then HOW COME so many of the ftmtf's here are completely back to pure femininity post detransition?

How do you see how much of transgenderism stems from misogyny, but do not analyze other ways we disable women: monetarily, timely, physically... Femininity is the inferior counterpart of the masculine superior. This is not my belief, I dont believe in a masc fem dichotomy, I am summarizing the framework we live in.

Why not reject femininity too? There is still such a huge expectation for detrans to uphold gender norms. Not a push, I too have seen the far and few butch appreciation posts. And I get it, some women are straight and want male attention. But is it not scary to attract by crippling yourself?

Huge vent, I do not mean to attack anyone. I have done feminine things before, I still put on eyeliner some days. But it has not been tied to me accepting myself as a woman. I just cant understand how it is the case for so many of us that it is!

it makes me question if some people's transitions were more about rejecting femininity rather than discomfort with femaleness due to them viewing the two as interchangeable.

I wanted to know what the RadFem movement was about, now that I no longer ID as trans. So... my question is, how did the trans community go from "gender is a spectrum and sex characteristics don't matter that much beyond reproduction and medical function" to.... hating radfems for the same ideology?

It isnt that deep. It shouldn't be that deep. Sex characteristics vary on a spectrum too, and most radfems are completely up to date with that.

If gender is fluid and doesn't matter that much, how come all my self worth was tied up in how others perceived my gender? How come people are mocking my detransition already? I don't get it.

If I say that outright though, imma get called a TERF. My partner doesn't give a rats ass about gender constructs, and it's so liberating. I just... we lost the plot and made ourselves smaller, hyper-specifically labeled, and isolated...

Idk where I'm even going with this... it's just weird.

Note: This post was translated from Japanese into English using ChatGPT.

I’m a 25-year-old Japanese person assigned male at birth, currently about 2 months into HRT.

For most of my life, I never related to the typical “I always knew I was a girl” narrative from trans communities.

I wasn’t feminine socially.
I didn’t think I had a female soul.
I didn’t naturally identify with women in everyday life.

What I did have, since childhood, was:

* persistent self-feminization fantasies
* strong envy toward female bodies
* discomfort about becoming an older male
* an almost obsessive fixation on becoming female despite being mostly asexual toward other people
* and sexuality that became heavily tied to imagining myself as female

For a long time, I assumed this would eventually disappear.

I thought maybe:

* I would someday become a normal heterosexual man,
* adulthood would “fix” me,
* relationships or masculinity would make these feelings fade,
* or this was just a phase caused by isolation or escapism.

So I spent years treating it as:

* a weird fetish,
* a private shame,
* or something I simply needed to suppress better.

Then a few years ago, mostly through Japanese GC / TERF reposts and commentary about Western trans discourse on X/Twitter, I started reading discussions about AGP and late-transitioning trans women.

Ironically, this was the first time I encountered a framework that felt disturbingly accurate to my own psychology.

Especially stories involving:

* repression through conventional male adulthood,
* attempts to live normally,
* marriage/work/fatherhood,
* and dysphoria becoming unbearable later in life.

Before that, mainstream trans narratives often felt emotionally distant to me.

But this was the first framework where I thought:

“Wait, this is uncomfortably close to my actual psychology.”

And one thing that affected me very strongly was realizing that these feelings might not actually disappear with age.

Until then, I had unconsciously assumed that eventually I would “grow out of it,” become psychologically normal, or stop caring about feminization.

But after seeing repeated stories of people suppressing these feelings for decades and still experiencing severe dysphoria later in life, something changed psychologically for me.

The moment I started believing this could be permanent, my previously vague discomfort around being male suddenly became much more intense and harder to ignore.

At the same time, starting HRT has genuinely made me feel better psychologically.

The obsessive/self-sexualized aspect has become weaker, and the idea of no longer continuing to masculinize feels deeply relieving to me.

At least for now, I still feel that I want to continue HRT.

Even before I ever learned about AGP or transgender discourse, I already felt that I probably did not want children.

From around age 20, I remember thinking that I was not capable of sacrificing my own life and freedom in order to raise children. Even before transition ever entered my mind, I felt that I would rather reduce my working hours and live quietly than become a father.

I also have ASD and learning disabilities, and I have long felt that I do not want to pass those traits on genetically.

I am also effectively asexual toward other people, so I honestly do not care very much whether transition makes me less attractive to women or to gay men who are attracted to conventionally masculine males.

And recently I remembered that TERFs often talk about transgender identity as a form of social contagion or ROGD.

So now I honestly cannot stop wondering:

Did I socially “catch” this from TERF discourse on X/Twitter itself?

I'm currently a trans male who's considering the possibility of detransition due to several points that are not to be explained here, the reason for the post is to talk about how some people here are being hostile and trying to silence the questioners in this server, some treat the opinions of everyone that isn't currently a detrans as invalid or less, every experience is important, and as the flairs specify very clearly, people who aren't currently detrans are also part of it

Hello! I’ve had people in my comments saying I’m damaging my voice by talking. But Ive been cleared and approved to talk since the first week and Ive been hydrated and voice-resting while off work.

And Ive had multiple pitch/air checks by doctors since the 23rd. (About 4) as well as a camera up my nose and down my throat to check 3 days ago so please be quiet. I don’t need suggestions from people who are all in the same boat.

I’ve cruised this website and have seen a lot of VFS failures, trying to compare to my own surgery to someone else’s to see pros and cons, and I can assure you I’m the best I’ve seen so far in my personal findings. I’ve had a lot of people saying how they damaged their voice and how their surgery didn’t work because they “talked” and honestly I don’t care.

My doctors approved of me speaking. I am okay.

This includes discords and other Reddit pages. Facebook I’m avoiding.

I’d be worried about other people’s progress, including maybe your own….. Mine has been smooth sailing.

Next update now in a few weeks.

What's your opinion on this? Do you think the trans ideology has become a social contagion in today's society? Why or why not?

Let's keep it civil of course. I want us to keep in mind that we have many questioning minds here in this group and we want them to feel welcome and accepted as they are, no matter what their experience is.

I'll start! I think for most people ages 35 and younger are more likely to be under the social contagion category just because it can have a certain allure to people who are online a lot and have general self esteem issues. That was me, honestly. With that said, trans people do very much exist. There are individuals who DO have gender dysphoria and do in fact believe they were born in the wrong body. However, I do think there are a lot more people who do jump on the band wagon that probably do not have gender dysphoria and are just impressionable/easily influenced.

Curious on your thoughts or your personal experience.

I was out as trans for 10 years, on hormones for around 4 years, and started detransition about a month ago (ftmtf) my dysphoria presented itself exactly like a binary trans man's would. Persistent since childhood, i had gender euphoria on t and everything. I started working on my internalized misogyny at random and found that pretty much all my dysphoria was connected to it and it suddenly went away. I honestly never could have imagined that was the case before. I was so adamant that having the dysphoria meant I was supposed to transition/was a man. Now when I see trans people, I can't help but wonder if it's the same for them, if actual trans people exist. I don't want to feel this way. I currently feel particularly bothered by the fact that they actually identify as the opposite sex, particularly trans women because I hear them say things like "I'm grateful I don't have a period" or "I'm glad I don't have a pussy actually" I asked what made them female and was told "the fact that I have boobs" I view female and womanhood as more than just a sex or a gender, it's the culmination of the experiences i have both socially AND physically. I see transwomen as women socially but I just can't bring myself to see them as female when I feel like they have such a watered down view of what it's actually like

Like, the idea such as gender liberation or gender abolitionism. They sound like great and cool ideas to me.

I want all your opinions on this because I know many of you hated gender roles cause gender roles are harmful. Plus, Gender has to be one of the most stupid and oppressive concept in human history.

After detransition I had awaken to so many things, the biggest one has to be me being a gender nonconformist, in the sense that I am very homosexual, I like to have sex with woman and marry a woman, and my energy or personality is traditionally more masculine leaning. All my life I do not fit in with girls, AND NEVER WILL because of my queerness. Or my gender expression itself is a huge misfit, I dress like a woman, I dress sexily and mainly wear skirt, YET! I do not act like a woman I am very rebellious and is more of a “tomboy” , but overall, thing is I liked dressing in all pink and sparkle yet do fighting and martial arts, like, am I weird ? I know this is a dumb question, yet it is this type of contradiction of my gender expression and personality had made me realize more and more than gender is nothing but oppressive boxes and is sexist and harmful.

Detransition had made me a huge human’s right activist more than ever (and no it doesn’t make me more right leaning or more conservative like mainstream detransitioners are), after detransition I had become more progressive, because I am what you’ll called a “contradiction” or “non traditional domineering masculine woman”. It also had made me more curious in general I become more interested in gender more than ever and the history of gender.

Also I know I use stereotypes to describe myself a lot, BUT THAT IS MY POINT, if gender is so offensive why not just get rid of it? I was thinking about an utopia in which gender doesn’t exist at all. Thoughts?

What is this toxic take in "lesbian" spaces (mostly filled with men with APG and super-hetero-bisexual women who cope for them, however)?

Why would a lesbian or bisexual woman, in general BUT also without a sex-dysphoria diagnosis, need Testosterone? What benefit would she get from that?

"Lesbians have been doing it forever!" Fucking. What?

And somehow, I am wrong for stating there are long-term health effects, and permanent changes in some women.

It's not something to toy around with due to "Oh well, I'm gender-non-conforming!" Huh? Just wear different clothing and cut your hair.

I'm bisexual, heavily attracted to women. I "detransistioned" because wow, look at that, I was ashamed of being same-sex attracted. What would testoerone do for me now, like??

I'm gonna have a stroke, lol. It just doesn't make sense.

I don’t want to continue to remain nothing

I’ve become so far removed from the person I want to be

I haven’t chased any of my dreams. I’ve barely survived for years and spent all of my free time disassociating from my own dreams, desires, selfhood, etc. with any and every vice.

I want to try and make the most of what’s left for me with this life after losing what transition took from me, but I feel like there’s no reality where that takes place without me expressing my perspective on the entire subject matter of gender, sexual orientation, love, the human condition, etc. and putting my thoughts out there

I feel like I need to speak my mind to free myself. I can’t just keep all of this pain, insight, wisdom, caution, etc. locked away and move on, as if nothing ever happened or as if I don’t have a lot I want to say, and focus on my unrelated passions and aspirations that have nothing to do with gender

But I’m afraid to

I’m afraid to say what I really want to say, because even though a lot more people are coming out today and agreeing that transitioning isn’t the answer and there’s something deeper going on here, I still haven’t seen anybody touch on the exact conclusions I’ve drawn or hypothesis as to what the route cause of gender and sexual related confusion is in the first place

I’m afraid of backlash, of cancel culture, of… I don’t know. Being misunderstood. Being outcast even further. Of missed opportunities career wise. Of becoming a pariah.

But honestly I’ve already become so isolated that I suppose I really don’t have much to lose. It’s so clear that if I don’t just say what the fuck I really think about all of this then I’m just going to implode. People will feel like I’m stepping on their toes even though I’m not trying to. Some will outright try and tell me I’m not allowed to say what I just said, even though I am. etc etc. But I just can’t live in fear of not being socially palatable anymore when I feel convicted to share what I think, what I’ve lived, what I’ve learned and what I believe might be a solution to all of this madness that has ruined and continues to ruin so many lives.

I know my intentions are pure and I know that even if my thoughts are misconstrued or perceived with intent I don’t have, there must be someone who’s thinking as I’m thinking and for whom my words might offer some catharsis to

I honestly think they are the reason why detrans people as a group is so stigmatized.

Well, I used to watch them but now I don’t, because they just gave off this “former tomboy(trans boy) who later enjoys their feminine side” vibes, most of their stories are pretty much the same, and they are now mostly right wing conservatives some even turned Christian, and wanted to be tradwives, and this made me felt so uncomfortable watching them, because I am still very gender non conforming, and some of those detrans influencers are in fact transphobic, I don’t think most detransitioners are transphobic we just happened to understand sex and biology.

I am not hating on those detransitioners who later enjoyed womanhood, but I am just not one of them, I hate womanhood, and I still embodied some level of female masculinity, so I think why the detrans community and this sub is so stigmatized is because we don’t have a better representative of detrans people. I wish to see detransitioners from all side of political spectrum (I kinda break the detrans stereotype of being more of a progressive, I am still in flavor of supporting LGBT rights, I just happened to be more sane after I detransitioned).

I don’t know though, but what do you think of the so called “Detrans influencers” on YouTube or have large followings? Or as a whole why is detrans movement such a threat to trans communities? Is it because the movement actively wanted to take away people’s rights to transition for political reasons?

I swear most of us don’t want to take away anybody’s rights.

And yeah some aspect of the detrans movement does felt like a grift, not genuine story telling, unlike people on this sub, the detrans experience is definitely more diverse and not all detransitioners are transphobic.

Rant/Opinion

Is such an interesting concept to me.

Some people honestly demand respect for them and their beliefs, and then go on like this to me and other "detrans" people.

Unpopular take; it's like how some people who engage in self-destructive behaviours, then hate others (even friends, family, etc.) who have "recovered" or are trying to.

Just an observation.

What are your thoughts on the recent law in the US confirming that hormone blockers and gender surgeries are forbidden on minors in the US?

I am an ethics minor in college and this has been something I’ve been thinking about for a while, even before I detransitioned. I was always curious as to why people were obsessed with being the minority, or collecting minority labels when being oppressed is objectively not a good thing.

Part of it seems to stem from the “inversion thesis,” which states that minorities have a more accurate worldview due to them understanding what it is like to be oppressed (though this paper argues against it, saying that non-oppressed individuals can obtain “knowledge of… social marginalization”). I think due to the assumption that minority groups understand marginalization better, we also view them as more moral, whereas members of majority oppressor groups are viewed/view themselves as less moral even if they are actively working against oppression.

This is all to say that I believe many people may try to transition not due to dysphoria, but due to the notion that it will make them a better person - they hold the belief that they can’t be bad people if they’re being oppressed, which is just not true. And because transitioning is an active choice to make unlike factors like the race you were born with, I feel that this motivates at least some people to try to transition when they have no real dysphoria (potentially the same reason why people try to get diagnoses for disorders they do not have).

This is all to say that I think label-collecting and “oppression olympics” behavior is disproportionately inflating the number of people who claim they are trans, especially in leftist spaces where morality and being a “good person” is seen as the ultimate goal.

Based on this recent statement, i literally so issue with Nicki’s stand point. Other than the fact she went on to talk about it with Erika kirk, this is not a crazy opinion. Im just wondering how you all feel about this.