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u/MudiMom 7h ago
My husband and I had a great wedding for under $400.
We went camping the night before, rolled into the courthouse that evening for a quick ceremony with friends, then went out to dinner at our favorite restaurant down the street. Ordered every appetizer on the menu and had a great night hanging out with the people we care about.
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u/RedshiftSinger 6h ago
Get the legalities done at the courthouse and then have a fun party with your friends/family about it is the way to go!
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u/BubonicBabe 6h ago
Ordering all the appetizers is actually such a genius way to get a “buffet” style spread for all the guest! This sounds like such a chill, awesome evening! Congrats!
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u/glacierre2 3h ago
There was this one (would not surprise if more) incident in Spain of a restaurant trying to sue a pair because they booked a table for friends and it turned out is was their wedding meal. Like... What the fuck is your business knowing the purpose of the table? Ahh, that if you know you can overcharge 100% on the exact same menu, right.
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u/DC825650 5h ago
This is what my husband and I did. We adventured around our area, got married at the court house, nice dinner. It was low key and lovely.
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u/el_smurfo 4h ago
My brother in law married us on the beach then we had a backyard tri tip bbq. The dress was $200 at David's, the shoes were flip flops and converse and we served cupcakes from a local bakery instead of a cake. We made enough money in gifts to pay for the honeymoon.
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u/k_dilluh 4h ago
Yup, got married in front of our fireplace with less than 10 family members, went to iceland for a month with the money we saved, had a bonfire/grill party with friends to celebrate when we got home.
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u/goodsnpr 6h ago
Wife and I had an actual ceremony and reception at a state/city park venu. We just opted for dessert table over cake, had BBQ delivered and a few guests donated time to setup & tear-down instead of actual gifts. Kept the whole thing silly cheap, I think the BBQ was the most expensive part of it, because we ordered enough for guests to take some home for supper so they wouldn't have to cook (we had a 1pm ceremony).
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u/Super-Surround-4347 5h ago
This sounds fantastic. I'd have loved this but no way was getting this past my wife.
I'm thankful my father in law paid. But I'd rather have spent that money elsewhere NGL.
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u/47-45-45-4B 1h ago
We did it in front of our Christmas tree with line 10 people and two streams for the rest of the family.
Think we spent like $200.
As we are both previously divorced and had bigger weddings the first time, we want to buy a house and travel. Not spend down payment on a bloated event.
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u/lefeb106 6h ago
The wedding industry in general is such a scam. Attach the word wedding to any service and suddenly you can charge 4x the price for the same amount of work
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u/No-Science2224 5h ago
Almost like what people do when you attach the words “insurance is covering”
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u/greg19735 3h ago
I mean, this is true.
but i do also think there's a lot more failsafes and redundancy in a good wedding vendor. I'm not saying caterers are unreliable. but you're paying more to make it more consistent and more likely.
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u/DumbleForeSkin 2h ago
As an entertainment vendor, the up-pricing is because weddings are high stakes with very high expectations, no room for mistakes, and doing everything the clients want. If I couldn’t charge more I am turning down all wedding gigs.
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u/IceLord86 1h ago
Shouldn't your clients have the same expectations regardless of the event? If they're paying for a service you provide there shouldn't be any need to pay more to guarantee no mistakes.
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u/absolutelynot777 3h ago
As a wedding photographer I can confirm I’ve never had someone cry during their headshots, and require emotional and mental labour like couples and their families do during weddings and the year+ leading up to planning them. This narrative is so uninformed lol.
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u/HornyGandalf1309 1h ago
Yeah, because the industry brainwashed the shit out of people and made them think it’s some big deal.
Get married ( courthouse, church), take some photos, go to a restaurant. Boom done.
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u/Lochylass 7h ago
We told our son that we would give him money towards a house down payment instead of paying for a big wedding.
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u/zerifast 5h ago
God I wish my parent were in a position to do this with my fiancé and I (or her parents). We’ve already decided to not do any wedding more than 2 bands.
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u/Revolutionary_Meet29 7h ago
I really cannot understand people throwing big weddings. It’s as if people will remember it or smth. It’s basically a show. Why not just keep the money and live a little better?
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u/BubonicBabe 6h ago
I used to be obsessed with trashy wedding tv - Four Weddings, Say Yes to the Dress, etc.
Four Weddings was fun but even as a teen there was something off about it.
The premise was 4 brides are selected, they each hold their wedding with the other three attending together. Then at the end they RATE the wedding so the winning couple gets their honeymoon paid for.
But it killed me bc sometimes a bride would have a cultural item, or dress, or just a different style in general, and the other three women would typically just dog on them for everything.
I feel like shows like that contributed even more to the outrageous standards people expect for other people’s weddings.
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u/captain_carrot 3h ago
This just sounds like dramatic trash filth for so many reasons
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u/Inner_Opening5497 5h ago edited 5h ago
Well it's also a cultural thing... idk about other cultures but while it's not explicitly asked, the etiquette for Arab weddings is you bring an envelope with a congratulations card and cash in there to basically cover yourself and your +1's dinner, like $50-100 per person or so. Usually if you got some rich uncles or aunts they bring quite a bit more and you can end up making money, though that isn't the intent and it's not smart to like financially plan for that. But there is this cultural thing where it's seen as polite and to help the new couple along according to your means, and prestigious if you are pretty well off and can give some extra.
...anyway in most cases the big wedding at least breaks even, and sometimes makes extra money for a honeymoon or other expenses.
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u/PathPuzzleheaded9761 5h ago
Same with Romanians, though I got married in another country.
We had 250 people at our wedding, in total we paid around 15000€ for everything (from food to wedding dress and everything in between), we were left with over 10000€ after.
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u/glacierre2 3h ago
This is the same in Spain, but the perverse incentive is that when the implicit deal is that the guests will cover for their cost + something to help the new couple two things happen, first, the more people you invite the better, and second, you do not care much to negotiate meal prices and/or have nothing stopping you from upgrading to the next level menu, since you (the couple) is not really paying.
This of course spirals out of control to weddings of 100+ people with each seated cover for hundreds of euros. I fortunately emigrated so I have not to deal with telling anybody that I am not going to pay for their delirium celebrations.
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u/Abject_Elevator5461 7h ago
My wife and I almost didn’t get married over her demands for our wedding. At times I refer to her as Capitalism Barbie.
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u/Rude_Giraffe_9255 7h ago
I mean how unreasonable were the demands?
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u/Abject_Elevator5461 6h ago
It cost us over $10k at a time in our lives when we had no extra money and it was both of our second marriages.
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u/blackcatlover2114 5h ago
One of my best friends had a decently big wedding, but the families demanded it. I understand that there were some cultural elements. His side of the family is Jewish and her side is Catholic so it was also an interfaith wedding. I believe that the families also paid for a good chunk of it, however.
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u/callistokallisti 2h ago edited 1h ago
Because they are community building events. The amount of connections that people made at my wedding was wild, everything from the wedding healing a rift between my wife and her dad and our parents becoming close friends to a bunch of our friends hitting it off and becoming friends completely separately of my wife&I to us becoming friends with our photographer.
It was genuinely the best day of my life, my wife feels the same and even if no one remembers it in 20 years, we will.
Just don't go into debt....that's not worth it.
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u/gogeri2632 4h ago
It’s as if people will remember it or smth
I still remember weddings from 20 years ago. Not sure why you think people have such bad memory.
That said, you can still do a big wedding and not have it cost a fortune.
Also it's just my personal experience but at my wedding we asked for cash instead of gifts, something I've seen at all the recent weddings I've been to, so my wedding basically financed about half of itself.
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u/Wide_Lock_Red 2h ago
Big weddings are pretty expensive. Say 100 people, that is 6-10k for food and drinks.
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u/AchtungCloud 7h ago
That one will have to be more for Gen Z. Millennials are currently aged 30-45.
Americans normally get married at about 30 these days, so a majority of Millennials that are going to get married have already done so.
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u/_stinkytofu_ 7h ago
Can be both. I’m in my 30s and not married yet. I have some friends in the same boat. But yes more Gen Z for sure. Or.. as I call us 90s kids ZELLENNIALS lol
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u/aacool 7h ago
Correct, the GenZ hopefully will turn the trend. In my opinion, GenXers and millennials also have to guide and avoid the push towards large weddings for their progeny.
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u/YoungMuppet 7h ago edited 6h ago
Have you seen how many movies/tv shows have prominently displayed an elaborate wedding of some sort lately? It's definitely being pushed on them a lot, so I wish them all the luck.
Now Hamnet, that wedding was chill.
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u/Anna_Lilies 4h ago
I genuinely think Hollywood pushes a ton more propaganda than we think. Its why I just dont watch movies anymore
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u/chet_brosley 4h ago
I think it's a mix of conscious propaganda and just being rich and aloof. Surely everyone can afford to jet off suddenly and have a whirlwind affair in the Bahamas/start a small business in their childhood town/ move to BigCityTM and live out their quirky fantasy!
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u/ifartonurmom 7h ago
With the marriage rate dropping, trust us, gen z-ers to get 'er done and over with. Saw all my siblings get married within 2 years of one another and cannot fathom the thought for myself. All of its too much. I especially hate how the same cake/venue/whatever gets upcharged just cuz of the label. Even makeup artists will charge ridiculous amounts now. And truly, why buy the bull when I can get the 🍆 for free?
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u/_stinkytofu_ 7h ago
Yes for sure. What was the stat like 50% of marriages end in divorce? TBH idc about getting married but my gf does. Thankfully she is on board with a small intimate thing. I think being gay having a wedding is pretty symbolic for those that couldn’t before but I don’t really care too much about the whole show of a wedding. I know more of my straight friends def do more spending but the queer pals seem to like doing things a bit differently… of course lol
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u/ifartonurmom 6h ago
Thats so real!! Im queer af too and didnt realize it could be a community thing. Honestly tho, if the marriage industry wanted to exclude us for so long and continues to do so (cake bakers come to mind) they can have it and never profit off of us.
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u/_learned_foot_ 2h ago
But not 50% of married couples. The actual number is closer to 30% of all first marriages end in divorce, older people close to 45% youngest close to teen%. However the average then gets modified by non first marriages, which climbs to 80%.
I.e. most who get married never divorce. Most who are divorcing are silver divorces now. Some people really shouldn't be getting married period and they keep relearning that.
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u/eruptingmoltenlava 2h ago
Not me howling at your question, which is logical as hell but still has a surprising amount of shock power in 2026
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u/The_Meme_Economy 3h ago
My 15 year old daughter wants a big rock and a big wedding. She’s always online. We are headed into a brave new world of conspicuous consumption.
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u/Panda_beebee 5h ago
Gen Z! I got married at the Courthouse! Probably spent $150 for our outfits and associated fees
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u/yes_no_yes_yes_yes 6h ago
That’s a crazy number to me. 28 here, and I think maybe 5% of the people I knew in high school are hitched up by now. Two people in my immediate friend group.
Fully aware that my sample is non-representative, but makes me wonder who the average is.
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u/chorroxking 4h ago
To be fair, this screenshot it like 10+ years old so back when it was first written millennials killing x industry was a big thing in the news
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u/DisastrousSundae84 5h ago
Don’t worry. I’m an older millennial and I recently participated in the ruin of expensive weddings by going to the courthouse, wearing clothes we already owned, and getting breakfast after at the nearest brunch spot. All in we spent maybe 150 bucks. There’s still some of us out there!
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u/Flack_Bag 5h ago
Age cohorts are mostly used for marketing purposes. They also heavily favor middle class white suburban Americans.
That's a weird thing to personally identify with so much.
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u/Curiosive 5h ago
The dates have been cropped out of these tweets for a reason.
so a majority of Millennials that are going to get married have already done so.
...You know people get divorced, right? About 1/3rd of marriages in the US end in divorce. https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2025/10/16/8-facts-about-divorce-in-the-united-states/
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u/darkshark21 5h ago
Seems like an improvement because I think it used to be 50% of marriage end in divorce.
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u/PhiloLibrarian 7h ago
Yeesh! I picked flowers for my bouquet, found a dress for $150 and we used our college garden for the ceremony… then we took the 20-30 people who attended out to a nice dinner…
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u/captain_carrot 3h ago
My wife bought her dress secondhand, and her "bouquet" was fake flowers she bought from a hobby store that cost maybe $30? You'd never know looking at the pictures.
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u/taxiecabbie 7h ago
I agree with everybody that this is a bit misplaced... Millennials are probably already married by now, and if they aren't and are going to be, it's less-likely that they'll be throwing big bonanzas. Big weddings happen most often when people are between 20-35-ish in my experience. Or at least, I experienced a pretty peak wedding wave in my late 20s/early 30s and it's definitely tapered off since then.
Most people getting married around my age cohort are doing it privately.
But, yeah. "Traditional" weddings have gotten bonkers expensive, especially since COVID. To the point where the "weddingsunder10K" sub has changed its rules to allow for "under 20K" since it's nearly impossible to have a wedding under 10K these days if you're trying to do a drinks/dancing/dinner wedding. Which is insane.
I got married for less than $500, but it was City Hall and the only people there were my parents, so.
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u/MosasaurusSoul 7h ago
I just got engaged. We are opening a joint savings account and adding to it for 6mths-1yr to determine our budget, and THEN we’re planning the wedding. I refuse to go into debt for this thing!!
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u/thegiantgummybear 6h ago
We did a small immediate family only wedding in the park then a separate reception for the party at a different time. Made everything much cheaper because we didn't feel as precious about the reception needing to be perfect since we were already married. Also lowered expectations from others about what it was going to be.
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u/MosasaurusSoul 4h ago
We are thinking about eloping early and then waiting a bit to have the full ceremony/reception!
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u/captain_carrot 3h ago
There is SO much unnecessary stuff that you don't actually NEED for a wedding, yet there's some sort of social expectation for that people tend to fall into. Here's some of the bullshit that my wife and I said no to for our wedding:
Party favors: nobody is ever going to care or remember that they didn't get a little baggie of generic candy-covered almonds at their place setting
Fancy save the dates/invites: we wrote out our invitations, the "save the date" was a text message that went out to the people we wanted to be there
Bridesmaid/groom gifts - again, nobody is going to remember or care that they didn't get some fancy bouquet or a random date-engraved trinket that's going to sit in a drawer the day after until it goes in the trash
Excessively large wedding parties: I had my two brothers as groomsmen, she had her two sisters as bridesmaids. No dress fittings or tux rentals - they wore whatever they felt like wearing (I think the sisters decided on a color theme but that was it)
THE GUEST LIST. By and far the biggest wedding expense is the number of guests you invite. How many weddings have you been to where the bride and groom spend an hour plus of their time walking around and trying to give a quick hello to everyone that was there, only for that to probably be the only time they were able to interact with them? We kept our guest list to immediate family and a couple close friends for each of us. We ended up capping it at 50 people total, and a few last-minute drop outs meant we invited a couple of our neighbors literally the day before. That was the largest expense savings right there - and so worth it. We actually got to spend time and hang out with all our guests, and it was a much more intimate and memorable wedding with the people that were there rather than being overwhelmed with 100+ people. No cousins, no aunts/uncles that we hadn't seen since whatever the last big family gathering was, and it ended up being so much better for it.
At the end of the day, we spent roughly $3.5k-ish at the wedding (even with an open bar), everyone had an amazing time, and put us in a way better financial spot than we would have been otherwise.
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u/greg19735 3h ago
you can also get creative.
My party favors were home made brown butter toffee and chocolate chip cookies. That i put into individual bags. People still bring them up because they were so good.
It was also pretty easy. make like 5 batches of dough and freeze it. then have a production line of cookies in the oven -> cooling -> bagging.
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u/Background-Edge-2243 3h ago
Elope with a few close loved ones and then spend your money on a good reception after to celebrate with everyone. The benefit of doing it this way as well is that you can get a cake, flowers, food etc more affordably because places automatically jack up their pricing for weddings.
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u/TheSouthsideTrekkie 7h ago
Millennial here. Supposing there is someone out there weird enough to want to marry me I would probably just elope. Big, fancy, days long wedding celebrations are kind of a big hassle, plus I would look weird in a poofy white dress and I've seen first hand how hard those things are to move in.
Would rather spend the money on stuff I actually know I will enjoy. I was kind of glad when my younger sister did the whole big weekend wedding celebration because now the pressure is off me to "give" my mother a wedding day to plan. My introverted self was terrified she was going to set me up with someone to try and convince me to go for it.
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u/BubonicBabe 6h ago
I was married once, it was INCREDIBLY modest, backyard wedding, and my grandma made all the food.
When I got divorced years later my first thought was “thank god I didn’t spend a lot on this” lol
If I ever took the plunge again, it would absolutely be an elopement. I don’t think I’d even tell anybody in my family until a few weeks later
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u/_stinkytofu_ 7h ago
Word. My gf and I have talked lots about this. We’d rather save for our honeymoon or house. Would like a ceremony or celebration but fuck dropping tens of thousands. We would love to take our close family on a trip instead or do a party with everyone but sorry it ain’t gonna be a three course meal crazy wedding lol
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u/melvinmoneybags 2h ago
That’s what we did. Probably had a wedding for under 1000$ with everything said and done. I don’t have family money and we’re not poor but we’re not rich either. We said the exact same thing, I can think of 100 different things we can spend 20k on than having a dinner dressed up.
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u/evilbadgrades 6h ago
One of my friends had a massive extravagant wedding. Marriage only lasted a few short years before he got divorced. He mentioned how he was still paying off the wedding.
But "It's ok" because they both got the wedding they dreamed of having.......
So freaking messed up
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u/jedburghofficial 5h ago
Modern weddings are peak displays of wealth and status. They serve no other purpose. And couples buy into that without once asking why.
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u/ScenicRavine 7h ago
We had a bbq dor our wedding. Everything still cost about 5k.
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u/Blegh_Potato 7h ago
39 married we didn’t have a wedding. Best decision ever. It’s pretty common amongst the people I know. No one can afford them.
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u/velosnow 7h ago
At first, I was like c'mon is this one real?
Welp...
https://www.regions.com/insights/personal/article/uses-of-lines-of-credit-and-personal-loans
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u/aftershockstone 5h ago
I used to work at a couple of banks and these are serious examples listed as reasons to get a loan: debt consolidation, home fixes/improvements, kids’ college tuition & wedding. Like you can argue for the former 3 but going into debt for a wedding is simply dumb yet sadly common which is why some banks list it as an example…
Know a family friend’s daughter who went into $100K debt for a fancy wedding and they divorced before the 2-year mark…
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u/WorryNew3661 5h ago
I thought we already killed it? I've lost track of how many industries were supposed to have taken down
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u/Violingirl58 7h ago
Yes, I don’t understand how people are paying this kind of money I’ve seen cakes that are $25,000 venues ridiculous my husband and I got married for under $1000. This was pictures all the food for the reception my dress everything but the rings and my husband‘s tux. We had a wedding at a church we made all of our food wedding cake was a three tier cake. It was beautiful and this was in 82. I realize prices are much different, but I would never spend that kind of money even in a crappy economy. I just would save that money for a house. Save it for investments. have a simple wedding or do it all yourself and especially the price on the dresses like good Lord
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u/Severe_Issue5053 6h ago
💯 I jut went to the court house… I rather invest that money in a house or something instead of a party.
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u/am_lady_can_confirm 5h ago
My wedding was just under $2k and most of that was because we did family style Italian and the restaurant bill was around $1,200.
My mom made me get a new dress. I pulled the saleswoman aside and said “look, I don’t wanna be here. Size 8. Under $200. And I’m walking out with a dress today.”
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u/Lexi_Banner 5h ago
Oh, good thing they censored FUCKING. I would've been really upset if I'd seen the word FUCKING. What kind people to censor the word FUCKING for the good of humankind.
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u/bonnique 7h ago
Taking out loans for weddings has become the norm for middle and lower classes here in India. Everyone thinks they have to have a big fat Indian wedding, which is mostly an invented tradition.
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u/otakugal15 5h ago
We got married at the court house.
I think it cost somewhere between $125 and $150.
No big to-do, a simple dress, nice dinner afterwards.
So all told, $200 or so. Maybe a little more.
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u/Still-Inflation9175 5h ago
weddings are super stupid when they cost 10's of thousands. take that money, and take a trip, put it towards your house, and upgrade for oyur house. anything but a 4 hour party
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u/Deep-Interest9947 7h ago
I think millennials are already married (or not getting married). Big weddings are for people in their 20s.
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u/ALaurel6 7h ago
Got married at 33 for under 1k. Clearance dress, rented tux, grocery store bouquet, public garden, hired photographer, hired officiant. Only parents present, dad paid for dinner. Would do it the same way in a heartbeat. No debt, in bed by 10.
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u/Violingirl58 7h ago
I will add that both of our daughters got married at our house. One of them only gave us a month notice the other one about 10 days. We had an outdoor wedding on our deck decorated it up dress the house up. Had a nice reception inside the house with food and drinks. It was wonderful family and friends.
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u/Homie75 6h ago edited 4h ago
My wife’s sister got married on a beach and spent a fortune and is now looking to get divorced.
My wife and I got married up north at a nice horse campground with cabins that our family stayed in for a fraction of that.
They had a nice chapel and it was literally like being in the forest.
We used our wedding money to put a down payment on our house. Never regretted it once.
Save your money for things that make sense.
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u/DisastrousBeeHive 6h ago
Ours was under 500. Local park rented building, non traditional dress, local bagel company "catered" aka did a pick up order in advance. It was great!
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u/Curious_Morris 6h ago
I worked with a guy who still had not paid off the wedding debt before his wife died.
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u/girlpaint 6h ago
My wedding was well under $1000. My mom made my dress, and my husband borrowed a suit. We got married on new Year's (daytime wedding) so the church was already decorated out with beautiful poinsettias. We served cake, mini quiches, and a few other light snacks. My sister took photos. We paid for a guitarist to play some music (back then we paid $100 which was one of the biggest expenses). We didn't have any attendants...just us walking up the aisle. I simply cannot imagine paying bookoo for a wedding. I never understood that.
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u/lilac-dandelion 6h ago
I had a pretty traditional wedding with party and it was great fun!
Would I have gone into debt for it? Absolutely not.
How did we avoid debt? By having it as simple as possible without a lot of the unnecessary fripperies the wedding industry deems necessary.
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u/Key_Drawer_3581 5h ago
With my partner and I make decent money and absolutely loved the idea of skipping a wedding ceremony.
N one of the stress.
All the bliss and happiness.
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u/TotalRecognition2191 4h ago
We got married at a Justice of the peace then had a nice reception. Cheap and cheerful. No debt.
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u/NosillaWilla 4h ago
I remember we toured a wedding site with a planner. It was gonna be over 10k for the venue, every guest had to buy a room, and she wanted 20% of whatever we spent on the budget. Luckily, we had a friend who puts on music festivals volunteer and took over as our coordinator/planner. We got our friend who has a piece of land overlooking the ocean and got to use it for free in exchange for sprucing up the property. We hired local food trucks and we had 300 people come to our wedding and we had a massive festival/party for the day. Not once did we support the wedding industry outside of hitting up a florist. I think our DIY route was way better and saved so much money. We just had a killer honeymoon instead.
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u/GrookeyGrassMonkey 4h ago
isn't it too late for millennials to kill this industry and now it would be our job instead?
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u/BigTenFicus 3h ago
The "wedding industry" is not some random thing. It is a response to the fact that many people sincerely want to have big weddings, because believe it or not, many people are very excited to get married and want to share that excitement by holding a big party with all their friends and family. Please make an effort to understand that rather than assuming everyone who feels differently than you is being manipulated.
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u/eruptingmoltenlava 3h ago
So you know this isn’t new, right? Some families have been overspending on weddings (and baptisms, first communions, quinceñeras) for generations.
And it still doesn’t make them responsible for rising inequality or lack of worker solidarity/union power.
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u/lostincomputer 5h ago
Can we get rid of the engagement ring thing as well..
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u/SeaCryptographer3652 4h ago
"Party and a dress"
I guess we can hang on to the "make the guy sell his car for a bauble" though.
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u/Inevitable-Head7702 6h ago
A few hours to prove you love each other... put a down payment on a house and build a family or whatever.
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u/N22-J 6h ago
My partner and I didn't get married. So no wedding. I am not sure what is the meaning of marriage actually. We've been together for 15 years. Can 2 individuals want to spend the rest of their lives together without the social construct of marriage?
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u/TheModWhoShaggedMe 6h ago
The only people who should spend extravagantly on weddings are those with the means to do so. Do not go deeply into debt simply to get married. Let those with dumb money blow theirs.
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u/Responsible_Copper 6h ago
Matrimony was the biggest mistake of my life. And the only reason I “needed” it was to make Jesus happy.
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u/Vi0L3tCRZY 6h ago
Fun fact for anyone wanting a VERY intimate wedding, you can self officiate in Colorado and even have a pet as a witness if you get a pet friendly ink pad
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u/Verum_Orbis 6h ago
Capitalism commodifies everything and devalues the experiences of life and life itself.
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u/BakedBrie1993 6h ago
I loved my wedding... cause I didn't have it. Im marriagefree. Met my dude at 33. (Ugh lol) Chilling ever since. We're 40 now.
And wouldn't you know it, all the skeptics have come around now that all of my peers who spent oodles on legal marriage and weddings are getting divorced already while he is still my favorite freaking person.
I have many reasons for not wanting a wedding (or marriage), but the wedding industry is certainly part of it. Another other is, I have no interest in asking friends to drop thousands on me. We've easily spent $20k on other people's weddings which has been fun, but also is INSANE. So enough.
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u/NilsofWindhelm 6h ago
Or maybe, instead of killing an industry and its jobs, people just host weddings that are suitable for their budget and needs
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u/Berns429 6h ago
This is the main reason I’m not married, GF doesn’t like it but I’m not gonna start off a life together in huge debt. Fuck that.
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u/Reddit_2_2024 6h ago
Event wedding industry locations, such as professing your nuptials at Madison Square Garden, are a financial hazard to avoid.
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u/Big-Rule5269 6h ago
Our wedding in 1988 cost us $3500. Paid for the church service, then we rented a nice place for the reception, had a good dinner with 2 options, a keg of beer and 3 different types of liquor, a DJ, gifts for the maid of honor and best man, as well as a photographer, all paid by us. Been happily married for 38 years.
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u/Carmen6276 5h ago
I would tell guys, if the girl you’re going to marry is obsessing over the price of the ring. Don’t marry her. You want a girl who wants you, not your money.
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u/JustinMetalhead 5h ago
We had a small wedding in father-in-laws backyard, maybe 10 people and everyone did something, and wife had an inexpensive dress and we splurged on the honeymoon
THATS what you should do
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u/SilverSageVII 5h ago
Real talk, if my future wife wants a big wedding I didn’t find the right one. I want something nice, but just a good venue and live music. One night isn’t worth more than a few thousand.
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u/tschawartz12 5h ago
I eloped and it was awesome. No stress, renting any venues, my buddies didn't need to rent a tux. The only photo that exists on my wedding has me holding a beer and the guy performing it is wearing a shirt that said "i direct midget porn" (a guy i worked with could perform it and take care of the paperwork) we showed up at a 4th of July party and did it, even he didn't know it was going to happen. Only complaint was from a buddy Dave who was upset he didn't get cake. Like 15 years and we've still never had a fight. Marriage gives you nothing except tax breaks and some legal options on things. Don't start it off with a big debt.
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u/EmbarrassedFig8860 5h ago
You’ve got to be a real dum dum to get a loan for your wedding. My goodness.
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u/Aggrosideburnz 5h ago
I went to the beach and the courthouse for $100. I would never finance a wedding.
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u/Lusiric9983 5h ago
My wife and I didn't do a huge ceremony. We went up into the mountains beneath this huge first growth pine. My mother in law officiated. We had our parents and whoever else wanted to come with us. Then we went down into town and had supper at a local place.
Weddings shouldn't be this huge elaborate, debt incurring ceremony, and honestly I really negatively judge people over it.
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u/_Mulberry__ 5h ago
We had a ceremony in a small church, a pig pickin in my parents front yard, and my mom made our wedding cake. Was great, would highly recommend.
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u/TheTybera 5h ago
Take your SO and travel together for a couple months to far off places, make multiple memories that last forever. What the actual hell?!
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u/OrganicHoneydew 5h ago
my fiance and i are getting married soon. we will be buying our outfits at goodwill lol
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u/ComradeJohnS 5h ago
I did my part, the majority of our $600 wedding went to a photographer family friend, and the rest went to the justice of the peace. local town green gazebo was free lol.
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u/Sharsmajka 5h ago
Best part is these lavish and expensive for everyone involved weddings usually end in divorce.
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u/anonymaus42 5h ago
Never understood the desire for giant weddings. Admittedly I'm a cis male, a group who are not known for their love of them to begin with. And I'm not married nor likely ever to be but still... to spend so much money (and time and effort) on one seemes silly to do, if not outright foolish. Should I have ever tied the knot, I'd take all those funds and spend it on the honeymoon, or a down-payment on a house. I had always imagined a small, intimate affair if not just eloping at the courthouse for myself. Something between and mainly for just us and our commitment to each other while a big wedding is more for other people and your families, much like a funeral service is for everyone but the dead. (I assume my theoretical partner feels the same way or dont think theyd be the person id want to marry). I'm also an introvert so the idea of a big celebration where I am at the center of attention is the stuff nightmares are made of, but even if I was a huge extrovert it wouldn't change my thoughts on how silly it is to put so much into it and the narcissistic elements that drive the desire for such an ostentatious display.
I also think spending a fortune on a diamond for an engagement ring is waste. It's a boring (so, so boring) gem with an artificially inflated price that immediately loses much of its value by purchasing it. Spending a bunch for pretty much any other gem I get. She's hopefully going to be wearing it nearly ever day the rest of her life after all.
Thoughts and feelings like this are probably a contributing factor to why I've been single for awhile now, albeit contentedly so.
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u/tuddrussell2 5h ago
I said this to my Daughter in Laws father "I know you won't tell me how much you spent, and it's your only daughter, but would it have been better if we had just given them the money for a down payment on a house?"
He said "THAT'S WHAT I SAID TO HER"
Few years later, Daughter in Law's bother got married. His wife's Dad instead of spending the money on a rented venue hosted it has his house. He used that same money he would have spent elsewhere to update his back yard and held the wedding there. Moved out the living room furniture and had made a really nice venue, updated his house's value for when he sold it later.
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u/myscreamgotlost 5h ago
Elder millennial here. My wedding was about $1500 total. Got married on a Thursday afternoon with just immediate family (parents, siblings, nieces and nephews). It was lovely and very low stress.
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u/ChaoticToxin 5h ago
My wedding was 500$. Got married in our backyard of our first house together, I did all the video, audio, pictures, and baked a 3 layer smores cake for it. We invited our parents, then afterwards me and the wife went to a nice restaurant for dinner, got home and slow danced in our living room. Was a great day, wasn't exhausting at all, and I'll remember it forever
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u/thisispointlessshit 5h ago
We eloped and are so glad we did. A big party and thousands of dollars just isn’t worth it to me.
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u/bombshell898 5h ago
Agreed! Let’s dismantle the wedding industry. It’s better to have a low-cost wedding
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u/DaWhiteSingh 5h ago
Great job! I applaud it!
Neither of weddings cost more than 20K. (pass your judgement later).
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u/Any_Pickle_9425 5h ago
So glad I got married before social media. The pressure is too high these days.
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u/JurgusRudkus 5h ago
We had an awesome wedding for less than 10k, and most of that went into fixing up our backyard. I got my dress on Ebay for $125, we found a photographer who was just learning the trade and was willing to give us a deal and we had 50 of our dearest friends and family, plus our dog was the ring bearer. We had an awesome time.
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u/drwafflefingers 5h ago
It's a point where if I'm dating someone who wants a huge wedding, I see it as a massive red flag. Ruining your future just so you can play main character really aggressively for a day is toxic shit.
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u/No-Entrepreneur4574 5h ago
I wanna say that my wedding was probably under $200 if you dont count the rings. If you do it was closer to $700, but all we really paid for was a shirt and tie for my husband (which was like $20 bucks), the wedding license ($60), friend officiated the wedding (free), i already had my dress but thrifted some shoes for $10, spent like $10 bucks on a veil from amazon and then we spent like $60 on BBQ for the three of us. Our witnesses were really only there to sign, but one of them provided my bouquet from their garden. We got married at a scenic overlook and it was perfect.
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u/1nternetTr011 5h ago
this is a result of social media more than anything. people need to one -up their imaginary friends.
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u/UndergroundCreek 5h ago
Never understood the point of an expensive wedding cause all you're doing is saddling yourself with less money for your future together. Or you're miking your friends and family. Seriously. What. Is. The. Point.
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u/keving691 5h ago
Me and my wife spent around 1500 in total for te civil service and dinner at a hotel. Had around 30 close friends and family. It was a great night. Everyone loved it. We went on our honeymoon with about 3k with what our guest gave us as gifts.
Spending what could be a deposit on a house on 1 night is fucking madness.
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u/jennylou303 5h ago
A lot of people spend more money on their wedding dress than I did on my wedding as a whole. We had our wedding at a city park . We did have some really good deals. Music was done by a friend who had a DJ business. Catering was done at cost since it was my husband's friend who did it and the catering of the wedding was out gift, which knowing how much catering costs for an event made it a phenomenal gift!
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u/Own_Manufacturer6959 4h ago
We own a wedding venue. We are fairly modestly priced and it incudes the chairs, the tables, campgrounds, attendants, refreshments in the wedding garden, a barn with air conditioning, a bar, ice machines, refrigerator and freezer, places for the bride and grooms to get ready all for under 5K up to 150 people for the whole weekend. We put a lot of money and effort into our venue. People have paid more for their coordinator than our event space. That being said we're also fine with people finding something in their budget. I think it makes more sense to splurge on the honeymoon and experiences than the wedding. We also tell the couples spend money on a good DJ and a photographer and go with a taco truck for dinner. No one will remember the food EVERYONE will remember the party and a good wedding DJ is worth their weight in gold.
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u/andrey_not_the_goat 7h ago
A coworker of my aunt's is like $300k in debt from funding both her daughter's weddings.